by Abby Green
CHAPTER TEN
GABRIEL WAS IN his office, staring out of the window, which took in a spectacular view of Madrid. Sunlight bathed the city in a golden glow. But he didn’t see any of that. His thoughts were inward.
It had been two weeks now since Leonora’s operation, and physically she seemed to be fine. But emotionally...
Gabriel couldn’t begin to fathom what she was going through, and the feeling of helplessness he’d felt that day in the hospital when he’d heard her crying was still there.
Helplessness was totally alien to Gabriel. He was used to being able to influence things, events. And yet even he had to concede that this was entirely out of his control.
There was no amount of money he could throw at the situation to make it better. To restore Leonora to full health.
Unsurprisingly, she’d been withdrawn for the past two weeks. She’d been sleeping in one of the guest suites, in spite of Gabriel’s insistence that he would move rooms.
He hadn’t liked not having her in his bed. Not at all. It made him feel even more helpless as he watched her retreat further and further to some place he couldn’t reach.
There was a knock on his door and he turned around, irritated at the interruption. It was his secretary.
‘Sorry, I know you don’t want to be disturbed...but it’s Lazaro Sanchez.’
Literally the last person Gabriel wanted to see right now. But to his surprise, instead of issuing an immediate rejection, he heard himself say, ‘Send him in.’
Sanchez walked in. Familiar tension and something much more ambiguous mixed in Gabriel’s gut.
Leonora’s words came into his head. ‘Are you sure you’re not related?’
He said, ‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’
Lazaro walked over to the desk, and as he did so Gabriel noticed that he looked a little less cocky than normal. As if some of the stuffing had been knocked out of him. He almost felt compelled to say something, but then he noticed a padded envelope in Lazaro’s hand.
Lazaro put it down on the desk and tapped it lightly. He looked at Gabriel. ‘There is all you need in there to prove that we are related. Which we are. Again, I don’t want anything from you or your family—simply an acknowledgement that I am of your blood. It’s the least I’m due, I think. Also, I’ve decided to pull out of the bid for the market. I still think my bid was the better one, but it’s not my priority any more. And, yes, you’re right. A big part of my motivation was in going up against you. You’re a worthy adversary, Gabriel, but I’ve lost the appetite for battling with you.’
Lazaro was almost at the door before Gabriel had recovered enough to say, ‘What’s changed?’
Lazaro turned around and smiled. ‘I’ve just realised what’s truly important in life...that’s all.’
He walked out before Gabriel could get his wits back together. Very few people surprised him. But Lazaro Sanchez had just blindsided him. Rapidly, Gabriel tried to assess what Lazaro’s agenda might be...but he couldn’t come up with anything.
He walked over and picked up the padded envelope. Inside was a piece of paper with the information for a doctor who had a sample of Lazaro’s DNA in storage. All Gabriel had to do was provide his own sample of DNA for comparison and they would know if they were related.
But Gabriel didn’t need to do the test. He knew in his gut what the result would be. He’d known that day in the street, when he’d first seen Lazaro, that the possibility that he was his kin was very real. In fact, on the other side of the animosity that had played out between the two men, there had been a sense of affinity that he’d never wanted to acknowledge.
It was an unsettling revelation.
Gabriel put down the piece of paper and walked back over to the window. He should be feeling triumphant because he was going to be awarded the bid for the market. But he wasn’t feeling triumphant. He was feeling deflated. As if something had been taken out of his grasp.
He realised that he’d relished the fight with Lazaro. The chance to prove himself. Because it happened so rarely.
And then an insidious suspicion came into his mind. Had Lazaro found out about Leo’s diagnosis, somehow? Was this why he’d gone a step further in his claim to be of Cruz y Torres blood? Because he knew that if Gabriel didn’t have an heir, then any child of Lazaro’s would therefore have a claim on the Torres inheritance?
Gabriel shook his head. He was being paranoid. There was no way Lazaro could have found out. It was just coincidence...
But, the fact remained that without an heir, the family name would die out. Even if Lazaro was his half-brother, he might not want anything to do with the Cruz y Torres name. Especially after the way he’d been treated...
Gabriel thought of how only a couple of weeks ago he’d been almost hoping that Leo wouldn’t be pregnant, so they could have more time alone together. Fate was laughing in his face. Because now they had all the time in the world.
* * *
Leonora sensed Gabriel before she saw him, but she kept on reading aloud to Matías, who had come to the castillo to visit her. He’d always loved being read to, and she still did it on occasion. It was like a security blanket, and he’d obviously sensed that something wasn’t quite right with his big sister. She hadn’t told him about her operation, he’d be too upset.
But Matías had spotted Gabriel and he jumped up from the seat they were sharing and went over, throwing his arms around Gabriel’s neck. Gabriel looked at her over Matías’s shoulder and she could see it in his eyes.
Now he was ready to discuss things with her.
She’d been feeling perfectly well again for a few days now. Apart from the small scar on her abdomen it would be hard to know that anything had happened. But it had. And it had had catastrophic repercussions.
They both had dinner with Matías, and then he was taken back to his school by one of Gabriel’s staff.
Gabriel turned to her at the door, from where they’d waved him off. ‘Come and have a nightcap on the terrace?’
Leonora’s hand gripped the door for a moment, and then she let go and nodded. ‘Sure.’
She followed him out to the terrace, peaceful and fragrant with blooming flowers and plants. Candles flickered gently in the light breeze. Leonora sat down in a chair and tucked her legs underneath her. She watched Gabriel pour himself a coffee and then he looked around.
‘What would you like?’
‘A little port, please.’
He poured some into a delicate glass and brought it over. Amazingly, considering how battered and bruised her insides were, Leonora felt a flicker of response. She took a sip of the sweet alcohol.
Gabriel came over and sat down on a chair at right angles to hers. His shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing the strong bronzed column of his throat and a glimpse of curling chest hair. His sleeves were rolled up and the muscles of his arms were a distraction that sent further tendrils of awareness to Leonora’s core.
To her surprise he said, ‘I had a visit from Lazaro Sanchez today.’
‘Oh?’
‘He told me he was pulling out of the bid...that he no longer cares about it.’
‘That’s...strange.’
From what Leonora had learnt about Lazaro during their short and very chaste relationship, he was ruthlessly ambitious. He’d been willing to marry a woman he hardly knew, after all.
As had Gabriel, pointed out a small voice.
‘Yes...it is,’ Gabriel said, and took a sip of coffee.
They sat in silence for a while, and then Gabriel put his cup down and sat forward.
Leonora tensed. He looked at her and she saw compassion in his eyes.
He said, ‘I’m so sorry, Leo, for what’s happened to you. If there was some way I could reverse the diagnosis or offer you a solution then I would.’
He stood up and she realised ho
w agitated he was when he ran a hand through his hair. He cursed and walked over to the wall, placing his hands down on it.
Leonora untucked her legs and sat up, putting down the glass. She wasn’t sure what to say.
He turned around and there was a bleak expression on his face. ‘I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. And it’s not a nice feeling. To know that there was literally nothing I could do. You were at the mercy of the doctors.’
A little of the ice that had been like a block in her chest for two weeks started melting slightly. She hadn’t really thought of this impacting on Gabriel, but of course it must have.
‘I know...and thank you for wanting to do something. But nothing could have been done.’
He came back over and sat down. ‘It’s not fair, Leo... I see you with Matías and know that you’d be a wonderful mother. Loving, caring, compassionate...’
Leonora had been trying not to give in to anger after her diagnosis, so hearing Gabriel articulate it for her was like a balm to her jagged edges.
‘Thank you.’
But suddenly he was too close. Emotions were threatening to crack her open from the inside out—emotions she’d been clamping down on for fear of what would be unleashed. Like that day in the hospital, when the storm of grief had left her weak and spent.
She stood up and went to take his place at the terrace wall. She looked out at the view for a long moment, as if hoping it might give her strength, and then she turned, wrapping her arms around her midriff.
‘This changes everything, Gabriel. I’m not the woman you married. I can’t give you what you need. The sooner we file for divorce, the sooner you’ll be free to move on.’
Gabriel stood up. ‘Divorce?’
Leonora’s arms tightened around herself, as if that might help her contain the rising emotion. ‘Yes. Of course.’
He shook his head and came over to where she was standing. ‘We don’t need to divorce.’
‘I can’t give you what you need. An heir. Heirs. You’re the last in your line and I’m infertile.’
He looked at her for a long moment as the word infertile hung starkly in the air between them. Then abruptly he turned away to look out over the gardens.
Eventually he said, ‘The doctor assured us that all was not lost. We have options—IVF, adoption...’
‘An adopted child wouldn’t be of your blood. And IVF is a long and arduous process that may never work. I worked with an IVF charity for a while and I saw the devastation it can wreak on couples, families. Even when it works it takes a toll on the strongest of relationships.’
Gabriel’s jaw clenched. ‘You don’t think we have a strong relationship?’
Leonora swallowed, thinking of how rocked she’d been by the revelation that Gabriel knew Lazaro. How hurt.
‘I think, like you said, we have a lot going for us... But this was one of the fundamental requirements, and I can’t deliver.’
He looked at her. ‘Do you want to divorce?’
Leonora couldn’t escape that dark gaze. No. The word beat through her blood. She’d imagined a life with this man; a life beyond anything she had believed she could have with someone like him. But those fragile dreams had died two weeks ago.
‘I think it’s the only option.’ They’d been married for almost three months, the legal requirement for granting divorce.
Gabriel looked away. His jaw was tight. Leonora knew that for a man like him it was difficult to admit defeat. As he’d said himself, he hadn’t liked feeling helpless. But they were both helpless here.
He said, ‘I have a full social schedule coming up. Now would not be a good time to draw adverse press attention. We will discuss this again when you are feeling stronger. A lot has happened in the past two weeks.’
Leonora desperately wanted to say, What is there to discuss? But she knew she didn’t have the energy to deal with that conversation. So maybe he was right.
‘Of course. Goodnight, Gabriel.’
Gabriel watched as Leonora walked back into the castillo, effortlessly graceful in a long flowing maxi-dress, her hair loose and slightly more unruly than its usual sleek perfection. Her face was bare of make-up but no less hauntingly beautiful.
‘Do you want to divorce?’
‘I think it’s the only option.’
He still felt slightly winded by the punch to his gut at her suggestion of divorce. Not once since her diagnosis had that possibility even entered his head. But evidently it was the first thing she’d thought of.
He had thought they were building a solid basis for a long and enduring marriage. Solid enough to weather this storm.
Gabriel felt disorientated as he took in the full meaning of the fact that Leonora’s diagnosis of infertility hadn’t impinged upon him in the same way it had her. She’d been looking for the first opportunity to leave this marriage. And he hadn’t.
Fool.
All sorts of insidious suspicions came into his mind. Maybe she’d played him from the start? Just looking for a way to save her family and ensure their security before seeking her freedom via divorce? Even if they’d had children? Maybe she’d just told him what he wanted to hear?
He cursed himself. He more than anyone knew they hadn’t married for love. They’d married for myriad reasons—one of which, as she’d pointed out, was to procreate. Have heirs. Continue the line. The legacy.
Now that had been ripped away from them. Leaving...what? The reality that chemistry and mutual respect and friendship weren’t enough? He’d mentioned the options that the doctor had given them—IVF, adoption... Gabriel didn’t know much about IVF, but he knew enough to agree with Leonora. It was a hugely invasive and precarious method of having children, and she would be the one to bear the brunt of the pain and the procedures.
If she wanted out of the marriage she was hardly going to put herself through those procedures.
An emotion Gabriel had never felt before burned down low in his gut. It felt a lot like hurt.
He slammed his hand down on the terrace wall. No woman had the power to hurt Gabriel. She had made a commitment to him and she would honour it.
He wouldn’t accept anything less.
* * *
It took hours for Leonora to fall asleep that night. The pain in her heart was almost physical. She couldn’t believe how far she’d let herself fall for Gabriel. How far she’d let herself dream that even without his love they could have a good life together. She’d imagined that when the desire burned out they’d have a family to care for, to unite them.
She considered the fact that he’d mentioned IVF. Adoption. Maybe she owed it to him to give it a shot? But then maybe he’d only mentioned it because he felt duty-bound?
She thought of the families she’d met through that charity. She knew what a toll it took, and how it caused huge fissures in relationships and families.
Of course it could be successful, and many people went on to have children, but people who underwent IVF ached to have children and had exhausted every other possibility. They did it for love. And that was not what this relationship was about.
Even if she did agree to undergo IVF and they had children, she realised now that it wouldn’t be enough for her to have children without Gabriel’s love. It would kill her. She wanted the dream.
Gabriel would move on. He would find another suitable wife and have children. Of that she was sure. He deserved that.
He’d never made her any promises. She would do her duty as his wife for the next few weeks and then they would file for divorce. There was no other discussion to be had. Her infertility wouldn’t have magically healed itself in a few weeks.
* * *
‘You must be very proud, Torres, your wife is stunning.’
Gabriel looked at where Leonora was standing a few feet away. She was a vision in a long ballgown with a fitted sleeveless
bodice and chiffon skirts falling to the floor. The gown was ice-blue. Her hair was pulled back and long diamond earrings glittered when she moved her head.
She was indeed stunning. Without a doubt the most beautiful woman in the room. She had an effortless kind of beauty that he could see people noticing and envying. What they didn’t know was that her beauty wasn’t just skin-deep. Or that she hid a very painful and devastating secret.
He glanced at the man beside him. A business acquaintance who was looking at Leonora far too covetously for Gabriel’s liking.
He made his excuses and walked over to her, slipping an arm around her waist.
He felt the tension come into her body at his touch and everything inside him rejected it. It was a over a month now since they’d had that conversation about divorce. They’d been existing since then in a kind of sterile civil environment that was driving Gabriel slowly around the bend.
They were still in separate bedrooms—and Gabriel fully respected the space that Leonora had needed since the operation. But sexual frustration was a constant gnawing ache, exacerbated by the fact that she had retreated to some icy, closed-off place that he couldn’t seem to reach.
She was always in bed when he came home from work. She busied herself at weekends at her parents castillo, helping with renovations and plans for the business. Or she spent time with Matías.
For someone like Gabriel, who had never envisaged marriage being anything but a means to an end, to find himself missing his wife was not a welcome revelation.
The closest they got to any kind of intimacy was at moments like this, when they were amongst hundreds of people. And everything in Gabriel rejected it. Rejected her closing herself off and retreating to a place he couldn’t reach. Rejected the notion of divorce.
* * *
Leonora was holding herself so stiffly she could hardly breathe. Gabriel’s arm was around her waist, and the urge to melt into his side, let him take her weight, was almost overwhelming.
