Ocean's Kiss

by Lani Wendt Young

  “Those are pretty thoughts,” said Ilisapesi kindly. “I’m sure they give you comfort. But you forget. Moanasina was Telesā before she became a guardian. We’re not like other women. But Moanasina was even more a creature of sea than any of us. I knew her. She always swam alone. Tavake was the only person she ever listened to. Although she did have an unusual friendship with Salamasina as well. If you’re hoping Moanasina will be some kinder, gentler version of herself, then you may be disappointed.”

  “I’m willing to try. And so is Ronan. That’s all we can do. Is try. Is there some way Moanasina can get her earthly memories back?”

  “There is a possibility. Most Telesā have no desire to save their memories. Why would they? Why look back? But, if she had wanted to preserve her memories, then Moanasina would have stored them in an ocean object and put them in a secure place. Find that, return the object to her and she’ll decide if she wants to look back. But don’t be surprised or too hurt, when she chooses not to. And remember, that even with her memory restored, Moanasina will still be a Guardian. She will never be the woman that she once was.”

  “That’s it?” said Ronan. “That’s all she said? Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” said Daniel. “Think, was there a special place she would go to? Somewhere away from everyone and everything? Somewhere she could store something to keep it safe?”

  A slow smile lit up Ronan’s face as he remembered a cliff-side cave, luminescent crystal ceiling like the glory of a night sky. “Yes, I think I know where it would be.”

  “Do you want me to come with you to get it?” asked Daniel. “Help?”

  “No, I’ll be fine. I got this. I just need a boat.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  There’s a broken little house on the tiny island of Niua. One bedroom, a kitchen, empty shelves and a table where nobody sits. If houses could talk, it would tell a story of happier days. Of the delight of romance, and the slow burn of love. It’s nestled by the sea and it has a garden at the back. Long untended, the greenery is a wild tangle of bushes and flowers bloom in glorious abandon. The fragrance of frangipani and mosooi mingles in a heavy perfume. On a clear night, when the moon is full, there’s a smooth rock you can sit on that overlooks the star spangled fabric of ocean. A ribbon of white sand that edges the shore, where once long ago, a young woman would dance in the moonlight as her beloved played the guitar and sang. His song would carry over the lilting water, and sometimes, others would come. To listen? To revel in the happiness of their Vasa Loloa Moanasina? Silver dolphins. Curious stingrays. Weaving sea serpents. Glimmers of fish. A shark or two.

  Here, promises were made – and broken. Dreams were shared – and dashed to pieces.

  This is the house that Ronan comes to. He brings a lustrous black pearl on a fine sinnet necklace. As the light falls on it, the pearl gleams soft grey to peacock green and then midnight black. It is beautiful. But it doesn’t seem possible that such a small thing could hold all the memories of a lifetime. Can love be contained in such an ephemeral thing? There’s only one way to find out.

  Ronan walked down to the beach with a borrowed guitar. He sat on the rock and began to play. Strumming tentative and slow at first, then growing in confidence. He sang a song she loved to sing with him. A song he taught her on a rainy night, as they sat side by side on the bed, stopping every now and then to laugh and kiss, to caress. His voice carried across the water, rich and deep. The wind bore witness to the melody, and the words were a delicate but determined dance across the silver water. It was a song laden with memory, bittersweet. Perfect. Poignant.

  Will she hear it? Will she come?

  And then he didn’t have to wonder. Because she was there. Walking towards him across the water. Each step a silver teardrop that sent ripples of light outwards. Each step was like the pulse of his heart, strong, steady, sure. The entire lagoon was alight with the luminescent glow of jelly fish and spangled creatures. Afar off the splash of dolphins, her ever present companions. It was a magnificent sight and it gave Ronan hope.

  But she drew closer and the inscrutable expression on her face, almost had him falter. There was no light of recognition in her eyes, no hint of that elusive smile she used to give him. She was garbed as if for battle. Not a lover’s reunion. Gauntlets made from the poisonous bristles of the porcupine fish. A collar of curved shell spikes. Armored sheathe and helmet forged of undersea titanium and manganese, a deadly glimmering in the starlight. She was stealth, black and silver death. Closer and closer, until she stood only a few feet away. And still no word. No sign that she knew him. For the first time, he had a clear look at the woman that had been stalking he and Daniel’s steps. He knew then what Ilisapesi had meant when she said that Moanasina was human no more. This woman only had a vague resemblance to the woman he loved.

  Ronan’s voice stumbled, he missed a chord. Was this how the song ended? The ocean guardian’s brow furrowed. She frowned. Ronan closed his eyes, braced himself for whatever came next.

  And then she began to sing. Her voice was strong and confident. Every word assured. Ronan played the guitar and joy was two people singing in perfect harmony.

  When the last note died, the Guardian looked disappointed, shook her head slightly, as if to say, is there any more? Before the spell broke, Ronan offered her the pearl.

  “I brought you a present,” he said. No guile. No fear. No walls.

  Moanasina looked at the pearl as it dangled on the necklace, catching the light. She made no move to touch it. “My pearl of memory. You found it.” No emotion.

  “Will you take it?”

  She looked at him. Really looked at him, this man who offered her the buried memories of her former life.

  A Guardian has the enhanced senses of an ocean predator. And so it is Ronan’s scent that Moanasina drinks in. Deeply. She smells the fresh water shower he took before coming here. The lime and coconut oil soap he used on his skin. It’s cool tonight and so he only has a faint musk of sweat. She smells him. The unique olfactory blend that is he and he alone.

  Then she hears him. The strong steady thud of his heart, pushing blood through his body. His pulse, at his neck, his wrist, and deeper, in his femoral artery. His heart rate is slightly elevated, but not enough to denote fear or rage. No, he is…anxious? Excited? Apprehensive? He is, happy?

  Finally, Moanasina looks at Ronan. His eyes, chipped flints of jade. Kind eyes. Chiseled features. A mouth that always has the hint of a smile. Dark hair that burnishes red in sunlight. He hasn’t shaved in a few days and she knows that if she reached out and ran her fingers along his jawline, that it would be rough against her skin. Just the thought of touching him sends a chill down her spine. She can’t touch him. There is memory in touch. And memory is dangerous.

  “There’s a reason why I gave up those memories,” said Moanasina. “Why would I want them back?”

  “Because you’re incomplete without them. Because that’s why you keep doing things that make no sense to you. Because only a coward hides from her past.”

  Her eyes flashed at that. No warrior liked having her courage challenged. She took the pearl, looped it over her head, let it sit in the curve of her chest. For a few minutes there was silence, as Moanasina absorbed the rush of memory that assailed her, wincing in pain. She stumbled to sit on a nearby rock, to take deep breaths.

  “Are you okay?” asked Ronan, his voice gruff.

  “Yes. Thank you. It’s just a lot to take in. I’m fine…Ronan.” She looked up at him with recognition in her eyes. “It’s good to see you. To know that it’s you.”

  Once he’d established that she was alright, that’s when Ronan’s demeanor changed. His face hardened and his eyes turned cold. “Now, I’ve got questions. Can you give me answers?”

  “I’ll try. You’ve come a long way. It seems only fair. I know you must hate me. I wronged you a long time ago. I had reasons. They were good ones. But I hurt you and for that I have regret.” She was stilted and polite. Ronan was glad.
It made his task easier.

  “First, why did you attack our son’s wife? You do remember doing that right? You hurt him. Your own child. What kind of mother are you?”

  Moanasina was taken aback. Ronan continued, with a face like thunder. “Oh you thought this was all about a lovesick old boyfriend? No. This isn’t about me and my twenty-year old heartbreak. This is about my child. I only just found out that I have a son, but I’m going to spend the rest of my life doing all I can to be a good father to him. And right now it seems like you’re the biggest threat to his happiness.”

  Her eyes were troubled. “I don’t want to hurt the boy. He’s the reason I became a Guardian. I’ve watched over him for twenty years now. Kept him safe. That girl, Leila? She’s a carrier for the fire Telesā Pele. She has the upper hand now, but Pele could break free anytime. You don’t understand. Telesā aren’t like other women. They don’t love…”

  “They don’t love? Really?” said Ronan with a bitter laugh. “Have you seen Daniel and Leila together? They’ve been through hell and back, given their lives for each other. They may be young, but those two are the real deal. You need to let them be. Trust Daniel to make his own choices. You say you regret hurting me. That you owe me something. So here’s what I want. The only thing I ask. Give me your word, your Guardian vow or anything that means something to you. Promise me you won’t harm Leila. That you’ll leave her and Daniel alone.”

  “That’s what you want from me? That’s why you came all this way, retrieved my memory pearl?”

  Ronan was bitter. “Yes. I have no special powers. I know you could slay me with a snap of your Guardian fingers. But I’ll do anything to try and ensure my son’s happiness.” He stood ready to walk away.

  “Wait. Please.” The naked appeal in her voice made him hesitate.

  “What?”

  “Did you only come because of our child?” she asked, reserve at war with hope and vulnerability.

  “What else is there?” said Ronan his expression unreadable.

  “I hoped that maybe you came for me too.”

  And there it was. The Guardian laid bare. Would he accept her tentative offering?

  There was raw pain in Ronan’s reply. “Why didn’t you trust me? Enough to tell me the truth all those years ago? You lied to me.”

  “I did it to keep you safe. Both of you. I wanted my boy in my arms. I wanted to raise him and love him. I didn’t want this life. You think I wanted to live alone like this?”

  “That’s just it. You didn’t need to. We could have stood together. Faced them all.”

  Moanasina’s laugh of derision was a stab. “And what could you have done against the Telesā? You know nothing of what they can do. What they’re capable of.”

  “Oh, I have a fair idea now. After the last few days,” said Ronan. “Twenty years ago, you stood here and told me that I knew nothing of sacrifice, of family or Fanua. That I was like a child. You were right. But I would have been willing to learn. You never gave me a chance. I loved you with everything I am. Gave you all of me. But always you held back. Never really let me in. Never told me who you are.”

  “How could I? What would you have done if they came against you? I was protecting you.”

  “No that’s not it,” countered Ronan. “You were afraid to trust me. You didn’t think I’d love you if I knew who you really are.”

  “That’s not true,” said Moanasina. But the dull gleam in her eyes said otherwise.

  “That’s why you hate our son’s love so much.”

  “You’re crazy. Making no sense.”

  “That’s it, isn’t it?” said Ronan. “You see what’s possible when a Telesā trusts enough and loves someone enough to let him in to her gift, to the full power and terror that she holds. You couldn’t do that and you hate seeing that someone else did. Daniel found love with a fire Telesā. And they’ve made it through impossible odds. Why couldn’t we have done the same?” A harsh laugh. “I’ve spent my life fighting for the ocean. And loving a ghost. The memory of you.”

  Moanasina turned away from him, looked out over the troubled ocean. “You don’t love me Ronan. You can’t love what you don’t truly know or understand.”

  “Then let me in,” said Ronan, frustrated.

  Moanasina spun to face him. “I’m not human. I’ve killed people. I’ve sunk illegal fishing boats and destroyed whalers, summoned tidal waves and whirlpools. With these hands. With this gift. And I’d do it all again. I’m a warrior, protector of my mother who gives us all life. I am the ocean’s blade that strikes without hesitation. How could you love me?” A thought, a summons, and a tendril of water leapt from the sea, sinuously curling around her body. A flick of her wrist and in an instant the water transformed to glistening shards that flew with deadly accuracy, whistling past Ronan to embed in the rocks behind him, shattering them.

  Ronan barely glanced at the carnage. “What’s that supposed to do? Scare me off? I’m not going anywhere. I love you Moanasina.”

  “Even now? In this body? Now that I’m a Guardian?” she was incredulous.

  “Don’t you remember? I made you a promise that I would find you and bring you home. I left you once and I won’t do it again.”

  That’s when Moanasina broke. That’s when the Guardian wept, sinking to her knees in the surf. “I’m sorry. Can you forgive me? How could you love me?”

  Ronan knelt beside her. Took her in his arms. “Always. You’re my beloved. And I am yours. We’re strangers to each other, but I’m willing to try again. Are you?”

  She nodded, reached with trembling hands to caress his face, to trace the outline of his mouth. “What about Daniel? How will I make it right with him?”

  “We’ll figure it out. Together,” said Ronan.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Daniel had an early plane to catch, a wife anxiously waiting for him back home. So he was up before dawn packing his meagre belongings, when there was a knock on the door. He opened it cautiously, still not completely at ease on Ilisapesi’s island, even after all that had happened. Moanasina stood there on the porch.

  “Can we please talk?”

  Daniel didn’t want to talk to her. But a lifetime of being raised by Salamasina had ingrained certain courtesies into him. Including the belief that when your mother shows up on your doorstep and asks nicely if she can talk to you? You say yes.

  “Sure,” said Daniel. He motioned to the easy chairs on the porch. “Out here okay?”

  They both sat down and for a few minutes there was only the sound of the nearby ocean lapping on the shore as the tide came in.

  “Ronan said you’re leaving today. Going back to Samoa.”

  “So he found you then?” interrupted Daniel curtly. “He left yesterday to get your pearl, and said he was going to Niua after that. Is he okay?”

  “You care about him!”

  “Yeah I do. And you better not have hurt him.”

  Moanasina rushed to reassure him. “Oh no, he’s fine. We came here together right away so I could talk to you before you leave. So I could try to fix us.”

  Daniel studied her. She was the same silver warrior she had been that night when she attacked Leila, but now there was an earnestness about her. A light in her eyes that hadn’t been there before.

  “I wish I could tell you that I’ve missed you every day for the last twenty years Daniel. But that would be a lie because you can’t miss what you don’t remember. I’ve had a full and rewarding life as Vasa Loloa’s guardian. But now, I look at you and I have regrets. So many. I don’t regret giving you up though, because that was the only way to keep you safe.” A soft smile. “Salamasina was my dearest friend. She was the best person to love you and be the mother to you that I couldn’t. But I will carry always my deepest sorrow, that I could not have you to be mine. I’ve watched over you from a distance even when I didn’t know why, and come to your aid when you needed me most. But I wish we had known each other sooner. Those pictures in your house? Of you as
a child, with your parents? Happy, trusting. I looked at them and it felt like a knife wound. I wanted pictures of our happy times together.” She reached out a trembling hand to lightly touch Daniel on the forehead, tracing his Pele battle scar. “I wish I was in there. That I had shared memories with you. I’m sorry.”

  Daniel couldn’t keep back his tears. “I’m sorry too.”

  Moanasina continued. “I can’t change who I am now. And I don’t want to. But I’m going to stop wandering so much. Ronan thinks we have a future together. Even after all this time.”

  “Do you think you two have a future? You’re not going to break his heart again are you?” said Daniel roughly. Suddenly protective.

  “Ronan has always been my Beloved,” said Moanasina quietly. “But I couldn’t imagine a world where it was possible for any Telesā to love a man. To build a life together. Until I saw you and Leila. You’ve given me hope.”

  “Yeah, about Leila…” interrupted Daniel with a flash of cold fire in his eyes. “You hurt my wife.”

  “I apologize,” said Moanasina. “It won’t happen again. But Daniel, she will need your strength in times to come. She bears a heavy burden and I fear it may one day be too much for her.” She made a peace offering then. “I know a healer in your islands. She may be able to help. I can give you her details?”

  “Thank you.” A deep breath. “I need to ask. Do you have the Tangaloa Bone? Did you send that shark?”

  Moanasina shook her head. “No. That was one of the ancients of Tangaloa. Far older and far more powerful than we Guardians. But I know you have a piece of the Bone. What will you do with it?”

  “Are you going to tell anyone?” said Daniel. “Can I expect more Guardians on our doorstep looking for it? Attacking my wife?”

  “No. It will be our secret. But you shouldn’t tell your wife that you have it.”