Hissy Fit

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  He frowned. “Irish twins?”

  I took a bite of my pizza, then turned a little bit in my seat so I could see him without turning my face. “Irish twins are children born in the same year.”

  His eyes widened. “So, you get pregnant almost right away after the previous pregnancy. That’d be some hard shit right there. Moira is tough. I can’t imagine having to deal with another that close in age to her.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just took another bite of pizza and turned my attention back to the television.

  My butterflies hadn’t abated since I’d arrived, and I still couldn’t figure out what to say to him.

  I couldn’t believe that I’d told him about how many kids I wanted—little did he know that I’d known exactly how many I wanted—with him—since I was a freakin’ freshman in high school.

  Out of everything that I’d wanted in my life, there was one thing that had stayed constant since I’d been that young, naïve girl—and that was the knowledge that Ezra was my unicorn. The man that I wanted above all others, and I knew nothing else would ever do.

  I couldn’t tell you why.

  I just knew that he’d been that one for me—and probably always would be.

  As a result, to be in his place, sitting on his couch, eating pizza only three feet away from him? Yeah, you could say there was an epic meltdown waiting to be had the moment I walked in my door.

  I couldn’t wait to tell Camryn about this.

  Camryn had been privy to my crush since she was right there, crushing right along with me to Ezra’s best friend—Grady. It’d been a sad day for both of us when our dream of marrying best friends had died a slow, tragic death. But, it worked out for the best because I could tell that Cady and Grady were made to be together.

  Camryn would one day find her unicorn man…and she’d still be excited that I’d actually been in my unicorn’s house.

  Even if I had made a fool of myself by telling the man that I wanted three children, all of them within two years of each other.

  “Last piece, do you want it?”

  I looked over to find Ezra holding out a slice of pizza as if it was the holy grail.

  I shook my head. “No, thank you. I’ve already had three. If I eat anymore, I’ll pop.”

  That was also a lie.

  I wouldn’t pop…what I would do, though, was make a fool of myself.

  I was already feeling as if I needed to unbutton my jeans.

  Adding in that fourth piece, on top of being nervous as hell, didn’t seem like the best of ideas.

  Just as I was about to shift into a more comfortable position—because my God, what the hell was I thinking wearing my tightest pair of freakin’ jeans?—a big boom of thunder rents the air.

  Shortly after that, the entire small room around us flickered, made a weird popping sound, and then went completely black.

  I winced.

  “Uhhh,” I murmured. “That sure didn’t sound good.”

  Ezra snorted. “Grady and I did all the wiring on this addition…let’s just say, if you ever see that our house has burned down, that’s why.”

  I bit my lip. “That’s not good, Ezra.”

  Ezra snorted and moved in the darkness, heading for what I assumed was his phone that he’d left laying near the TV.

  “I’m joking. We had a certified electrician come out and check it over…after,” he amended.

  I snickered and set my feet back on the floor, my eyes going around the room to try to locate where he was.

  Moments later, I saw a lighter flick to life over by the door that led to the main house, and then he was lighting a candle and heading back toward me.

  Another boom of thunder filled the air around us, and lightning lit up the entire room like a creepy horror flick.

  “After what?” I questioned, sensing he was beating around the bush about his electrician skills.

  “After we already caused a small fire,” he lamented. “I’m good with a football…but my building skills—at least when it comes to running electrical—could use some work.”

  I snickered, and he surprised me by setting the candle down hard on the coffee table.

  “You want to play some cards?” he asked. “I’d ask if you wanted to go home, but I have a feeling that the storm” —the thunder once again rocked the entire room— “is going to be here for a while. It wasn’t supposed to be here for another couple of hours, otherwise, I would’ve cut it short…you don’t mind staying, do you?”

  Did I mind staying at my crush’s house?

  Hell no.

  I’d move in if you wouldn’t think I was a complete freak.

  “That’s f-fine,” I murmured, feeling the butterflies start to turn into nausea. “What kind of card game?”

  Ezra scooted closer, then pulled some cards out of his pocket.

  “Have you ever played Speed?” he asked.

  I gave him a look that he could barely make out, but he saw enough to laugh. “You’re gonna go down.”

  I snorted. “I used to play with my brothers. Trust me when I say that I’m gonna totally kick your ass.”

  He moved so that he was on the opposite side of the coffee table from me, then started to set up the card game. After handing me my cards, he waited for me to put them into order before saying, “Ready?”

  And that was how we spent our night.

  The thunder rumbled overhead, the wind shook the windows, and Ezra and I laughed our asses off.

  It was hours later, after consuming a few beers and playing over ten hands of Speed, that I finally admitted defeat.

  “I suck!” I laughed, throwing myself backward onto the couch. “I have no clue how I got to be so bad!”

  He chuckled. “Don’t feel too bad. I practice a lot with the kids. When Grady’s gone, they spend more time over here than in their own house.”

  I smiled and shifted, my pants super uncomfortable.

  I groaned and shifted again.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  Thunder boomed so loud that I jumped. “Shit. That scared the crap out of me.”

  He stood up and stretched and the shirt that he had on lifted up high over his belt, revealing his sculpted abdomen.

  He had a six-pack. Oh, dear. Sweet baby Jesus.

  I wanted him so bad.

  I squirmed in my seat, this time not from my jeans digging into my belly, but because my vagina had pulsed with need.

  God, the man was sexy.

  “What’s wrong?” he repeated.

  Instead of telling him the reason I’d squirmed that time, I went with my original discomfort. “My pants are tight as hell, and they’re digging into my flab.”

  He blinked. “You don’t have any flab.”

  I snickered. “Oh, I have flab. Trust me on this.”

  His eyes narrowed, and he dropped his arms back down by his sides. “I have a pair of sweats you can borrow… or I can offer you a pair of Cady’s. She decided that she was going to stop wearing normal pants after Moira was born, and I haven’t seen her in jeans or pants of any kind that weren’t stretchy since then.”

  I found myself smiling. “That’s kind of funny…and I can handle the jeans. They’re just uncomfortable. I don’t see us being here too much…”

  The tornado sirens started to go off, and Ezra’s eyebrows lifted.

  I swallowed. “Should we go hide in your bathtub?”

  He walked to the cube storage and opened a drawer, pulling out a pair of sweats and tossing them in my direction. “Let me go make sure that my sister heard that, and then I’ll be back…and yes, head to the bathroom.”

  I kept hearing the weatherman in my head saying ‘Get to a small, windowless interior room.’

  After Ezra disappeared, I started to unbutton my pants, shoving them down my legs moments later.

  I’d just stepped one foot into the sweatpants hole when Ezra came back in.


  “They’re not here. I for…” He halted suddenly halfway in the doorway. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  I squeaked in surprise, then fell over onto the couch while I kicked my legs into the pant legs.

  Before I could get them both in, I fell to the ground between the coffee table and the couch, hitting hard.

  Once I had them pulled up over my hips, I laid there for a few long seconds wishing that the ground would swallow me whole.

  “You okay?”

  I looked up to find him standing over me.

  “I’m just gonna lay here and hope that the tornado only takes out this couple feet of area right here,” I gestured to where I was laying.

  He snorted and offered me his hand. “If it makes you feel better, I only saw your ass.”

  No, that didn’t make me feel better. Not in the least.

  “Swear to God,” I told him honestly, hands still covering my eyes. “If you say another word, I might break down in embarrassed tears.”

  He snorted and I heard him move, then suddenly I was up and moving.

  I made an ‘umph’ sound when my belly hit his shoulder, and shortly after that, I gasped because Ezra was really tall, and I found myself staring down his back and at his ass.

  His ass that was encased in a pair of jeans that molded delectably to his ass so perfectly that I wanted to write the makers of Levi Jeans a letter and tell them that they should get an award.

  The way his shirt was riding up, I could see a small sliver of skin, and the dark gray outline of his underwear…and then it all went dark because he made it into the bathroom.

  “Shit,” he said, handing me the flashlight that I only just now realized that he had. “Hold on. I’m gonna go back for the candle. I don’t want to run down the batteries on this flashlight.”

  He turned around, and I found myself going back out into the living room. Moments later he had the candle in his hand as he squatted down, and I got to see the crack of his ass.

  And what a nice crack it was!

  Jesus, I was such a loser! It was bad when the crack of Ezra’s ass turned me on…

  A sharp crack of thunder had me gasping, and I grasped what was closest to me…Ezra’s butt.

  “Shit!” I cried out, my heart pounding away in my chest.

  Then I realized what I’d done, and immediately let him go.

  “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

  Ezra laughed, and all of a sudden, we were once again in the bathroom, the light of the candle illuminating the entire tiny space.

  Ezra set me down on my feet, and then grabbed both towels off the towel rack and started wiping down the small tub that looked to be half the size of a normal shower.

  “This is quite a shower,” I teased as I turned off the flashlight and set it down next to the candle.

  He looked at me over his shoulder and winked, and I tried not to melt into a puddle of goo right there on the floor by his feet.

  There was only so much sexy Ezra that I could take…

  “I guess that’s good enough,” he murmured. “Let me go grab the blankets and pillows from the couch. From the sounds of it, we’re going to be here a while.”

  I cleared my throat and said, “Do you mind if I, uh, use the facilities while you’re gone?”

  He snorted. “Hurry. I don’t want to get picked up by the tornado.”

  I did hurry, because the thought of no longer having Ezra’s pretty face to look at actually had my heart panging in my chest.

  I may not ever have Ezra, but at least a girl could look.

  After washing my hands and yanking the door open, I was surprised to see Ezra standing there with an armful of blankets and pillows. “Where did you get all this?” I asked. “I only saw the one comforter.”

  He grunted. “I raided my sister’s hall closet.”

  Grinning, I backed out of the way and allowed him to throw every last bit of his burden into the floor of the shower. “Come on,” he urged.

  I followed him down into the makeshift pallet, and then laughed when I saw him pull out his comforter and bring it over the top of us.

  After some situating, he ended up with his back against one side of the tub, and me with mine against the other. His legs were tangled up with mine, and he was chuckling as he tried to find a more comfortable position.

  “How does someone as tall as you get into this tub?” I wondered aloud as I scrunched up my feet.

  Finally, I just gave up and stretched my legs out over his chest, which he gladly allowed me to do because it gave him way more leg room—legs in which he stretched out on either side of me, one foot going up under one armpit, and hanging out on the other side.

  “I am much shorter than you and I barely fit in here.” I grinned teasing him. “I take it you don’t take baths very often.”

  He snorted. “I don’t have time to take baths. I’m lucky enough to find time to take a shower.” He paused. “Sometimes I have to take them at the school.”

  I could imagine.

  “I know you’re busy.” I giggled. “That’s why I had to take over your sex-ed class, remember?”

  He scooted himself over a little more, and then he leaned his head back and watched me.

  “My nephew told me you were scared to death to teach that class,” he said hesitantly. “Are you?”

  The blunt honesty in his question had my belly dropping.

  I hadn’t realized that I’d been that transparent.

  “I…” The loud boom of thunder overhead, followed by what sounded like a tree falling, had both of us tensing.

  “Shit,” I whispered. “Does your sister have any trees?”

  Ezra shrugged. “No. Not any that would make that sound when it fell.”

  Both of us waited to see if we could hear more, and while we were waiting, Ezra absently took one of my feet—which were bare—into his hands and began massaging it.

  I couldn’t help it.

  I moaned.

  I’d worn my prettiest, sexiest pair of shoes that I could find. However, the downside of the cuteness of those shoes was how freakin’ uncomfortable they were.

  My toes curled when he hit one particularly sore spot.

  “Sore?” he questioned.

  I peeked open one eye and nodded at him. “Those shoes I wore today kill my feet.”

  “Then why do you wear them?” he persisted.

  Because they make my ass look good, and my legs look less stumpy.

  “Because they matched my outfit,” I lied.

  He made a sound of amusement in his throat, and I shifted again, feeling the stirring of arousal once again hit me.

  God, I wanted the man more than anything.

  “I never understood the appeal,” he murmured. “When I went pro for that first year, they forced us to wear suits and shit. The shoes were the worst. I swear to Christ, I dreaded game days just because I’d be forced into them.”

  I smiled, which was followed shortly after by a shiver as the building around us started to shake.

  I swallowed as fear started to clog my throat.

  “Swear to God,” I murmured, seemingly to myself. “I never wanted to die a virgin.”

  Everything froze.

  His breathing. My breathing. The pounding rain and the ear-piercing wind.

  Hell, I couldn’t even hear the tornado sirens anymore.

  What was meant to come out barely a whisper sounded like an atomic bomb being dropped in the middle of Ezra’s miniscule bathroom.

  I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and started to count down from twenty in my head.

  I wanted to bang my head against the tiled wall behind my head to beat some sense into my godforsaken brain.

  Only, before I could do that, Ezra’s hands were on my hips, hauling me over the top of him.

  I gasped, surprised at the sudden movement.

  Then I found his mou
th slanting over the top of mine, and shit you not, I orgasmed right then and there.

  I felt things inside of me clench, and the fever pitch I’d been at all night went from a slow burn at around a five on the holy shit scale, to a full-on fifteen.

  I moaned into his mouth as things in my lower body started to pulse, and my pussy clenched on nothing.

  There was no time to gain control of myself, though. Ezra wouldn’t let me.

  We went from kissing to stripping our clothes off in a matter of seconds.

  I don’t know what happened after that with the storm, because the storm inside of my body was trumping anything that happened on the outside.

  Things started to happen at a fast pace.

  First, I became naked before him, mostly because I was on top of him, and he was trying to free his jeans from his hips while I was still firmly planted on top of him.

  Second, I might or might not have slammed my head into his chin once or twice on accident.

  Last, and this was the most important, I got an eye-full of Ezra’s penis.

  “Jesus Christ,” I breathed.

  My gaze turned to the side, and I stared at his cock’s—which was sticking straight up and pointing at the ceiling—shadow. With the candle positioned as it was, his penis, as well as both of our bodies, were silhouetted along the wall to our left.

  And the thing looked bigger than life.

  I held up my arm in comparison and swallowed.

  That was when he started to laugh.

  “Jesus Christ, you make a man feel good,” he murmured.

  Then he was running the tip of one finger along the tan areola of my left breast.

  I looked at him, and his eyes were hot and captivated—by me.

  “You’re really big,” I accused.

  His eyes lifted to mine.

  “You’re holding your arm about four inches from my cock. Of course, it’s going to look big in shadow,” he teased.

  I looked down at the real thing and shook my head. “No. It’s big.”

  I’d never been this close to a penis before.

  In fact, all that excitement that was running through my veins just a scant minute before was now gone. In that excitement’s place was trepidation.