“Yes. I can’t imagine living my life without you. I was so scared in that van that I’d never make it back to you, that I’d never see you again or kiss you again. Thinking of you was a huge part of how I got through it.”
“I’ll call my chief tomorrow morning, but I may have to go back to work for a while. Then I want us to really talk and plan our future. I love you, Lyn. I was so scared I’d lost you to that cult and I’d never get to tell you how I felt.” Her stomach clenched at Lyn’s tears and she snaked her arm underneath her and pulled her close. “Please don’t cry. It’ll all work out.”
“These are tears of joy. I never believed I’d be free, much less find someone to fall in love with. Someone who loved me, too. Ruth and Donna both betrayed me, and I decided there had to be something wrong with me. For the longest time I wondered if Matthew was right and I was only unhappy because I wasn’t going with the program. I guess I expected some magical feelings I could call love.” Lyn trembled and Barb lifted her hand to her lips. “I need you to understand. I don’t want any question about the truth of my love for you. My aunt told me recently true love can’t be forced or denied, and I don’t want to deny myself true love. I want you in my life forever. I love you, too.”
Chapter 41
Lynette prepared two bowls of oatmeal and poured two cups of coffee, happy to feel closer to normal. Pleasantly surprised at the result of the exercises the doctor had suggested, she needed her sling less every day. Her range of motion in her shoulder might never be the same, but the pain and swelling had disappeared. As she set the table and waited for Barb to get out of the shower, she reflected on how much their lives were about to change and how much she looked forward to it. Barb would be heading to Michigan to request a transfer to an area closer to the Wisconsin border, and they’d spend time talking when she returned. She smiled when Barb stepped into the kitchen running her fingers through her damp hair.
“Thanks for making breakfast.” Barb drew her against her and kissed her.
Her body hummed with arousal as their breasts met. She slid her hands under her T-shirt and skimmed her fingers on the underside of her breasts. She loved how sensitive Barb was to her touch, but she knew there wasn’t time for what she had in mind for her. She asked anyway, “Do we have time for more before you leave?” She trembled with need.
“Sorry, sweetheart, it’s a long drive and I told Jake I’d be in his office before five.” Barb kissed her one more time and sat at the table. “I promise I’ll make up for it when I get back.” The smoldering look she gave her confirmed her intentions.
“I’ll miss you.” Lynette hated that she sounded whiny, but they’d spent the past two days in and out of bed touching and kissing and exploring each other and talking about their future together. She’d found real love and a vision of a limitless future, so she resisted separation from that even for a couple days. But Barb had obligations and would return. She repeated the thought several times. “I’m going to work later to help Claudia in the kitchen.” The thought of returning to a familiar routine helped settle her anxiety.
“Be careful. Make sure you take your sling even if you don’t think you’ll need it. And I’ll miss you, too. I’ll text or call you every day.” Barb shoved a spoonful of oatmeal in her mouth. “Are you going to talk to your therapist today?”
“I am. I have an appointment at nine. She’s going to give me names of schools to check into. I’m excited about starting classes. I appreciate your suggestion to look into becoming a licensed therapist to work with cult survivors. I think it’s something I’ll be good at, even though it might be hard sometimes.”
“You told me you connected with Ruth during your ordeal. I bet you’d be good at therapy work.” Barb looked at the clock. “I better get going. I love you and I miss you already. And when I get back we’ll do planning. Hug Jen for me.” Barb stood and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed her one more time before grabbing her suitcase and leaving.
Lynette sat at the table to finish breakfast and pondered how she’d become so entwined with Barb. When she was gone, Lynette felt as if a part of her had gone with her. She sighed, knowing Barb was on a mission to make a way for them to be together. She cleaned up the breakfast dishes and took Starr and her coffee outside.
“What do you think, Starr? Would you like to move? The only thing I’ll miss about this place now is how close it is to Aunt Jen.” Her car was in the same spot it’d been since the fated night Ruth had come for her. She shuddered at the memories. They no longer threw her into panic, but she hoped they wouldn’t linger much longer. “I have a lot to discuss with my therapist today, girl. Come on. We’ve got time for a walk.”
She relaxed as they took the familiar path and the PTSD that had a hold of Lynette for so long began to melt away. Ruth and Brother Matthew were gone. She could live her life the way she wanted to, with love and peace. She could have any future she wanted and never have to look over her shoulder again. Not only that, she could help people who had been through the same thing. The future felt impossibly beautiful, and she wanted to gather the feeling of joy in her arms and squeeze it to her.
She checked the time when they arrived back at her apartment and hurried to take a shower, looking forward to seeing Claudia and immersing herself in familiar work. She dressed, headed out the door, and settled into the comfort of familiarity as she drove. It would take time for her to ignore any white minivans, but she embraced the feeling of freedom as she drove. She’d lived with unrest her whole adult life, and she reveled in the knowledge she could choose her future, and it would include love. She pulled into the hotel parking lot and smiled all the way into the building.
She found Claudia filling pans in the kitchen. “Hi, Claudia.”
“Lynette.” She rushed to gather her in her arms and carefully hug her. “I’m so glad to see you’re okay. Are you sure you’re up to working today?”
“Oh yes. I have an appointment at nine, but I plan to be back afterward.” She stepped back to enjoy the warm reception from her friend. “I’ll get the dining area ready.”
“I’d appreciate that. I’ll carry the pans out when I get them ready—and, Lynette?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s really great to have you back.”
“Believe me, it feels great to be back. I have lots to tell you. We’ll talk later, okay?”
“Definitely.”
Lynette worked steadily until it was time for her to leave for her appointment. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours,” she told Claudia.
“See you then.” Claudia waved from the kitchen where she stirred a pot on the stove.
Lynette stood outside the hotel for a moment, surprised at her automatic reflex to scan the area for danger. She took a deep breath and strode to her car. Healing would take time, but she knew it would happen. She checked her phone for any word from Barb before starting her car. She probably wouldn’t call or text while she was driving, so Lynette sent her an I love you text before starting her car.
She arrived at her therapist’s office a few minutes early, so she checked her phone and smiled. A text from Barb. I love you, too. She had plenty to talk about today, so she locked her car and headed inside.
Chapter 42
Barb arrived at Jake’s office with an hour to spare. She sat in her car for a moment to organize her thoughts. She’d told him over the phone that she wanted to make a location change but hadn’t given any specifics. She took a deep breath and went to his office.
“Welcome back.” Jake smiled and stood.
“Thanks.” Barb would miss him and their easy camaraderie. “I need to talk to you, if you have time?”
“Of course. Sit.” Jake pointed to the chair in front of his desk. “You look serious. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. I wanted to let you know I’ve requested a transfer to Escanaba. I wanted to tell you in person before you got my paperwork.”
“Damn. I didn’t see that coming, but I’m sure
you have good reason.” Jake shuffled papers on his desk. “Did something happen on your vacation? If you need help with anything, you know you can count on me.”
“I know. Thank you.” Barb had never come out to Jake, but she always thought he suspected her sexual orientation. She wouldn’t hide who she was. He could potentially make her life miserable, but she was transferring out of his area. “I met someone.” She deliberated how much more to say, but Jake interrupted.
“Ah. I understand. If you remember, I came to this post from downstate years ago. I was happy where I was, but my chief sent me up here for temporary duty until more recruits came on board. It’s where I met Esther. I requested a permanent transfer after two weeks and we were married six months later. You’re very good at your job, and I know you love it.” Jake stood and offered his hand across his desk. “I’m proud to have had you on my team, but you have to follow your heart.”
Barb blinked back tears and shook his hand. “Thank you, Jake. I’m proud to have served on your team. Will you have enough personnel if I leave immediately?” Barb hoped she didn’t need to commute for long.
“Yeah. You go do what you need to do. I’ve got two officers and four recruits up to speed.”
“Thanks again. I’ll keep in touch.” Barb meant her words. She’d worked with Jake for ten of her eighteen years as an officer, and she valued his leadership.
“One more thing, Barb.” Jake grinned. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” She saluted before leaving his office. She took a breath once she got to her car. She hadn’t expected any resistance from her chief, but his personal disclosure touched her deeply. She stopped at the Realtor’s before heading to her house. She didn’t know how she and Lyn would work out their lives together, but she knew she wanted to, and knowing what her house was worth was a sensible step.
She pulled into her driveway, turned off her engine, and leaned her head back on the headrest. A sense of loneliness flashed over her. She missed Lyn. She grabbed her suitcase and entered her small two-bedroom cabin. The deck overlooking the woods was perfect for relaxing with a morning cup of coffee and watching the birds. She filled the feeder and went inside to send Lyn a text before beginning the process of sorting items to take back with her.
I’m home. All is well here except I miss you.
Lyn probably wasn’t home from work yet, so she put her phone on the kitchen counter and began making a list. Lyn’s text interrupted her list making.
Things are good here except that I miss you! Did it go well with your chief?
Barb smiled at the memory of how sweet Jake had been.
It went well. I’ll be able to transfer immediately. Therapy go okay?
Barb waited for a few minutes and made herself a cup of tea. Lyn’s text came within ten minutes.
Therapy was great. I can’t wait to show you all the info I got. I miss you.
I’m glad it was great. I look forward to seeing it all. Kisses.
She picked up her paper and pen and continued room by room. She finished her list and took it to her deck with her tea to watch the birds before dinner and reflect on her life since meeting Lyn. She’d expected a vacation with relaxation and communing with nature, and here she was willing to sell her house and move in order to be with someone she’d fallen for. Unexpected, but perfect. She checked her cupboards and freezer, happy that she didn’t need to run to the store. She made a peanut butter sandwich and another cup of tea and returned to her deck.
After her meal, she did a load of laundry and organized what she’d be packing in her Jeep and settled to watch TV. She sent another text to Lyn.
I sure wish you were next to me watching TV.
Her reply was immediate.
Me too. I doubt we’d be watching TV, though. Hurry home, love.
Barb took a hot shower and crawled into bed. Her thoughts drifted to Lyn next to her, vulnerable and trusting, soft and warm, gentle and loving. Her last thought as she fell asleep was how terribly much she missed her.
The next morning she awoke and automatically reached for Lyn. She sat up disoriented and remembered where she was. She got up and made some coffee and scrambled eggs before texting Lyn.
Morning, sweetheart. I sure missed you last night. And now.
She sat on the deck and finished breakfast before beginning the process of loading her Jeep. She fit as much as she could into it and locked the door to the house before leaving.
Barb took one look back at the place she’d call home for ten years and pulled out of the driveway toward Lyn. She’d miss it here, but home was where Lyn was, and they had new memories to make together.
She followed the highway toward Wisconsin but turned off halfway there. She pulled into the parking lot of Harlow’s by the Bay and hopped out of her jeep and into a hug from her friend Josie.
“It’s great to see you. How was your vacation?” Josie tugged her into the lodge.
“It was great to get away for a while.” Barb followed her into the large common room of the lesbian resort she’d opened two years ago. “Actually, it was fantastic.” Barb sat on the chair facing the huge fireplace, and Josie sat across from her.
“Something to drink?” Josie asked.
“I’m good, thanks. I’ve got a long drive ahead of me.”
“A long drive? Okay, spill it, and I want details.” Josie grinned.
“I met someone while I was vacationing, and she’s amazing.”
“Wow. That sounds serious.” Josie frowned, then rose and pulled her into a hug. “I’m happy for you. So, what’s her name? When are we going to meet her?”
Barb smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm and noted her knitted brow. “Her name’s Lynette, and I see your expression of concern.”
“Well, I’m just hearing about her now, but you’ve only known her for what? A month?”
“I appreciate your voice of reason. She works at the hotel where I stayed, so I saw her every day. We spent time together talking and doing things.” She smiled at the memory of how hard it was to get Lyn to open up and how close they’d become. But sharing the details of what they’d been through didn’t feel right, not without Lyn’s consent. “I realize that everyone’s different and no two relationships are alike, but you knew when the time was right for you and Kelly, didn’t you?”
Josie laughed. “She knew it before I did, but I think I know what you’re trying to say. Yes. I remember the feeling when I knew she was the one for me. I’m happy for you.”
Barb chuckled. “I’m on my way back now.” She looked at her watch. “I wanted to stop and let you know what was going on though. One more thing. I’m transferring to the west side area. Near Escanaba.”
“That’s not too far. We’ll still get you see you sometimes.” Josie squinted at her. “We better. Kelly will be sorry she missed you. She’s at the assisted living center visiting my grandmother.”
“Tell her I said hi, and I’ll bring Lyn over as soon as we have a plan in place. I promise.” She hugged Josie again before leaving.
Barb drove out of the parking lot toward the main road and let her mind wander. She’d grown up and lived her life in the area except when she was away at college. She expected to feel a loss at the anticipated upcoming changes in her life, but instead joy and contentment filled her heart and pushed away any lingering loneliness. She smiled and pointed her car toward the expressway and Lyn.
Chapter 43
Lynette put the tablecloth on the table and two candles before setting the plates and silverware out. She added wine and water glasses and checked the time. Barb had called to let her know she was half an hour away, and Lynette wanted everything to be perfect. She checked the Cornish hens and stirred the rice before taking the salad bowl out of the refrigerator. She grinned when she heard Barb pull into the parking lot, then she smoothed out the short red dress she’d bought for this occasion and waited for Barb to walk through the door.
“I’m home.” Barb opened the door and stopped i
n the doorway. “You look stunning.” She dropped her suitcase on the floor and gathered her in her arms.
“I’m glad you’re home.” Lyn kissed her with all her pent-up desire and shivered when Barb slowly ran her hands under her dress and discovered her panty-less state.
“Oh, God. You are so hot.” Barb’s breathing was ragged as she stroked her soaked pussy and Lyn’s knees buckled. Barb held her tight and never stopped stroking until she slid one finger inside her. Lyn rode her finger and hand until she felt her orgasm unfurl and take over her control. She clung to Barb, pumping against her hand, feeling her finger curl to stroke her inside, and she buried her face in her neck, shuddered, and cried out as she came again.
“I’m so glad you’re home.” She lightly nibbled Barb’s neck, then kissed it. “I made dinner.” Her voice cracked.
“I’m starved. Starved for more of you, that is.” Barb cupped her bare ass and lifted her to carry her to the bed. She stripped off her shirt and nearly tripped stepping out of her jeans.
Lynette loved to have Barb naked. She lifted off her dress and tossed it to the floor before she pushed her back on the bed. Barb’s nipples were extremely sensitive, and she tickled one with her tongue. Barb writhed under her touch and moaned when she sucked one nipple, then the other. She bucked on the bed and grabbed the sheets when Lyn slid two fingers through her wetness and inside her. She pushed Lyn’s hand harder against herself, and Lyn watched her orgasm take over. She was gorgeous. She flopped back on the bed, and Lyn cuddled into her when she wrapped her arm around her.
“Mmm. Shoulder?”
“What shoulder?” Lyn kissed her, then smiled. “It’s more tender than sore or painful. I’m healing.” Barb was her salve, the healing balm for her heart, body, and soul. She smiled against her breast and flicked her nipple with her tongue to hear Barb whimper. “I made Cornish hens and rice. Are we going to eat dinner?” Lyn’s bleary mind and sated body told her to close her eyes and sleep. Dinner could wait.
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