by Deb Stratton
I could tell by the way he fumbled with the stick. While he warmed the meat I asked him to wait there and ran for my chocolate stash in my backpack. I was hoping that there was nothing forbidden in my bags that would upset him. He seemed so full of trust to go out and collect them for me without looking inside. He had no concerns about my caring for him. I think he felt confident and self-assured that he was a good provider and would always treat me right.
I ran across the room with my new energy from the excitement and asked him to close his eyes. Of course he did not listen. He looked at me and grunted. I took my hand and gently passed over his eyes to show him what I wanted him to do and he left them closed. I took a piece of my candy bar and broke it off into smaller pieces and asked him to open his mouth. I touched his lips with my hand and pushed the piece in and pinched his mouth shut.
“Now just taste it. Let it melt in your mouth.” I said.
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He sat there for a few minutes without moving and while it melted I started eating mine. I laughed at him a few times because he had still not opened his eyes.
There goes that trust again. He never doubts me for one moment. I really like that a lot. It is really enjoyable.
“Open your eyes and let’s eat.” I said while laughing a little more loudly. It was funny and for a moment I think he understood why I was laughing.
Because he smiled.
Chapter Fifteen
More days and weeks had passed by. His family had still not returned and my journal calendar now says January. We had spent the majority of the new winter months swimming and sleeping. It seemed that the colder it got the more he slept. I was ok with that. I liked the time alone to write and craft things with my private stuff. I had given up trying to get a signal for the phone. I had tried so many times and spent so many hours looking through it at photos and the files that the battery was very close to shutting down completely.
That made me a little angry and sad at the same time. I was mad at myself all of the time for landing myself in that well. I was sad that I accepted my new life and never really gave a fight.
There had been no Thanksgiving or Christmas tree. New Years was completely nonexistent. It was winter and we were cozy and warm. The fire was always burning and the warm water steam kept the area nice. It will always feel damp to me. I think that is due to the lack of sunshine. I would give anything to just sit in a chair outside in the sun. There could be snow right now.
The hunting trips were scarce now. He had only left once since he found out I was having his baby. We had more than enough food and my stomach was increasing
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in size quickly. I estimated that I was about 4 months now and with the fifth month approaching I looked much further along. I felt the baby move a lot. I had no complications and was eager to see Barka more frequently. She would come to see us now. I am spared the long walk.
I let my mind wander more and more about how I will be in a few months with a new baby. There is no hospital and no tests. There is no medical care. Unless you count the moss tablets that I get every visit.
I lay down on my blanket by the fire and count the kicking. I raise my shirt to look at it. I see the guard look in. He keeps turning his head to watch me. I feel like the sight of my bare belly is intriguing to him and I pull my shirt down quietly and look at the fire.
I have learned one very important thing since being taken by the crazy Bigfoot and that is to not provoke or antagonize them. If I kept it up I could easily find myself being bred by a guard and possibly witnessing Stem becoming very violent with him. What a vision that is stuck in my head. I would hope at this point that would never happen.
I stood up to walk for a while and took my dog back to the water. She had her favorite spot there and the guards could not see us. It was private there and
peaceful. I really enjoyed soaking my feet in the water and lying on the rock slabs with a thick blanket.
Suddenly I hear a large boom. It sounded like an explosion. Small pieces of the roof and walls were dropping everywhere. It was nothing major. But it was enough to signal me that an earthquake could be happening. It is not tornado season. I am not sure what it could be.
I hear Stem jump to his feet in the next room. I had learned that sound a long time ago due to his size there was never a quiet moment when he started to move around.
He says to me that he will be right back. He heads out towards the doorway to speak with the castle guards. I just dried off my feet and slipped my shoes on enough to scuffle to my cot. I would take a rest for a while, while the men out there locate the source of the loud noise.
It was really quiet except for the noise of Stem talking out there. I could not hear his words but heard a lot of going back and forth about something. I laid still and hugged my dog. I was comfortable and content. I felt the baby move again inside of me. I wondered if it
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would be a boy or girl. I started thinking of names. I could lean towards the natural side like most of the Bigfoot individuals I have met. Maybe something that was similar to Bushy or Vine. Or a name like Leaf or Stick. No those sounded silly and I would spend some time with my journal in the next few days making lists of great names.
I started to hear more noise after I had slept for a few minutes and decided to go take a look. I walked closer to the doorway and seen Stem over near a large pile of dirt. It was huge. I asked what was happening and seen the guards over by the pile also. We did not always have the same guards. They switched out and even though their sizes were different and hair color I could still barely tell which was which. The two with Stem this afternoon were concerned and looking around quickly.
Stem said, “Em stay back while we are working here. There has been a collapse and the tunnel is gone.”
No pathway? How would we leave? I was concerned. How would Barka get here to see me this week? How would the guards go home?
“Ok I will go rest for a while.” I said.
I really had no other words. I had never really entertained the idea that all of our areas could cave in at any time. Thank goodness it was just a path. What if it
would have been my room? I snuggled under my blanket and once again I found myself in the soundest of sleep when I heard noise again. This time it was not a boom. It sounded like tools. I think they were shoveling. Maybe they were trying to dig through to the path.
I hoped that it was not as bad as it seemed. I felt my baby. I hugged my dog and wished for a new day. I had seen a long night ahead going through my bags looking for more ideas to entertain myself.
It turned out to be a very long night of noise and work for them while I sat by the fire. I marked the day off on my homemade calendar and drew some trees and a little house. I escaped into the drawing I created for just a moment. It felt like a vacation.
For a moment I was away from this place and even though I was safe I had a new worry. I had the worry of being trapped more profoundly than I had felt before.
I listened to the digging and the frustration they had out in the large domed area. It was hard to stay put and not lend a hand. I liked being involved and just letting Stem carry all of the stress from it was hard. I hoped they had encountered this before and would be able to
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work through it quickly. Maybe residents on the other side were digging as well.
Suddenly I heard another big boom. It did not sound like it came from above but from the dirt filled pathway that had already caved in. I heard yelling and one of the guards yelled for help. I ran faster than I ever thought I could across the great room and seen a larger pile and only Stems hand. He was completely covered by hundreds of pounds of dirt and there was no sign of movement. I fell to my knees and starting digging with my bare hands. I dug and threw dirt as fast as I could. The guard kept digging and the other was also missing.
I tried to uncover the area near his head first. I knew he would not have any air to breathe. He was still not moving. I was ab
le to dig deep enough to uncover his arm and I felt his warmth. I was then making my way up towards his shoulders and head after several minutes. There was so much dirt in his hair. We spent a few more minutes to get his face uncovered and I touched his cheek.
“Stem I am here with you, we will get you out.” I said gently.
He did not open his eyes and the guard and I dug for another hour until he was uncovered enough to pull from the dirt. I could not lift him. Even the weight of
his arm was too much. He rolled him over and went back to dig more to find his friend. I was crying over Stems face. I was terrified that he would not make it.
The thought of being trapped with no more food and no more companionship is too much to take for me at this moment.
I begged him to wake up. I continued to pick the dirt off of his face. I brushed him off and ran back inside to get my water and a towel. I could feel him breathing and his chest was rising from him taking in air. I splashed the cold water on him and kept telling him I was there.
I asked the guard his name. I felt it was time to know this. I needed to feel friendship from someone while this terrible tragedy was going on.
“My name is Ash and I will stay with you and help as long as I can. We have a long way to go. This is very bad.” he said.
I appreciated his offer and his serious take on the situation. I continued to wash Stems face and hold his hand.
After several hours, Ash was still digging to look for the other guard and I was exhausted. Stem was still unconscious. I asked if there was any way he could help
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get him through the doorway near the fire. I would be more comfortable there and could care for him more easily. I went in and cleared my things away. My journal and blankets were in my favorite spot.
As Ash brought him in I rolled up a towel to put under his head and put a cool wet cloth on his forehead. I made my bed and lit the fire and lay there with him all night.
I woke to the sound of moaning. Stem was moving his head back and forth slowly while lying on his back. I reached over and touched his hand. He turned to face me and opened his eyes.
“There was an explosion of some kind and you were buried in the dirt. I was so worried about you. Ash and I dug you out and he brought you in here so you could rest.” I said.
In an exhausted voice, he said “I am not sure what happened. Thank you for staying with me. Where is Ash?”
I explained to him that Ash could no longer dig. He became so tired. He was resting in another room. He then sat up and headed to the crate room. He was limping just a small amount but other than that he was ok. I was relieved. When he came back out he told me that the pathway caved in. It was hard to say why unless
he was able to go up above and check the area. If that was stable then he would be able to decide if someone had intentionally done this.
Since we were hidden well in our area I doubted that anyone was on the other side. I know the other guards come this way to work for Stem and they may be trying to dig through. I expressed my concern over being trapped and having enough supplies. I did not mention the baby. I was very concerned about that though. What if I needed help from Barka? I was alone without her.
He patted the top of my head and went to look for Ash. I decided to take the dog back by the water and wash my face. Her bathroom area is back that way and I keep it cleaned up daily to avoid any additional smells around me.
Lately my senses were really getting to me. Things that normally do not bother me were starting to. I was feeling sick to my stomach easily from it all also. After some crate time, dog time and wash time I headed back to the fire. I stopped on the way to grab some snack bars I had been saving. I just did not feel like eating the meat this morning. I made small amounts of coffee with my shirt filter invention many times and today was
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not a good day for that. I just did not feel well.
I decided to let them do what they were going to do out there and just relax. I ate and went to my cot. It was closer to the crate and I had been eating and drinking more. I was gaining a lot of weight in my abdomen and not so much anywhere else. I felt healthy but starved. I needed junk food. I needed a big cake.
I covered up with my hoodie and blanket and just rested like I used to on a Saturday morning. I just let my cares float away. I trusted that Stem and Ash would solve the problem as soon as they were able to check it out again.
My dog jumped up and lay at my feet. What a comforting morning.
All was well at this moment.
I felt it.
Chapter Sixteen
I walked through the great room and heard no noise. I did not see Stem and his family was still away. I was feeling very tired and had marked my journal to show that I was closely approaching my late stages of pregnancy.
I felt big and miserable. I was alone and sad. Stem had been digging his way out of the tunnel for so long that I was starting to lose hope in ever seeing Barka again. I walked through the doorway only to see light through the top of the dirt.
There were no guards or sign of any activity. I pulled my sweatshirt hat over my head to keep the chill away and walked towards the mound of dirt. It was easy to see that they had climbed through and made it to the other side.
Just then my dog ran past me and sniffed her way up the dirt hill. I called her back to me and she just kept returning. I begged her to come back to me and she went over the mound. The past frustration of dog ownership came over me like a flashback. Days in my old home when I had let her out and she bolted through the yard running. The more I called the faster she ran from me. I was not in the mood for a dog chase. I was not in the mood for much on this day and I was feeling close to losing it mentally. I was at a breaking point. I could feel it.
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“Solstice, please come back here.” I said.
I used my mean voice and demanded that she get back over the hill. I whistled and held out my hand as if I was offering her a treat. I felt my heart drop as she disappeared over the hill. I then seen the tip of her tail vanish as she dropped out of sight and I felt sick.
I tried to climb the dirt as quickly as I could and kept calling her with all of the voice I could find. Please. Please don’t go. I was sliding down and climbing back up in a panic. I got to the top and had to lie down to slide through on my back to fit. I slid down into the other side and she was gone. There was no sign of her that quickly. There was no one including Stem or my dog. Everything that was close to me here had vanished.
I sat down at the end of the pathway and broke down into tears. I cried like I had never cried before. I just could not go on one more day with this feeling. The feeling that nothing was ok. I walked a few more feet just wiping my tears with my hands until my eyes were so foggy that I could not see. I wanted her back and I was scared.
I called to her. I prayed in my mind that something would make this ok. I wanted to feel the softness of her fur and to look into her big brown eyes. She was just such a big piece of my heart that I just could not let go of the idea that she may never come back.
I remembered the day that I first got her. She was just 7 weeks old. She was chubby for a lab pup and loved a belly rub. Her belly was so round and cute. She could not even roll back over by herself she was so plump. Years went by that were filled with belly rubs. I discovered something very beautiful about my connection with her and that was this. She woke up every day with the best job in the world. She spent all of her days loving me and that was what she lived for.
She watched my every move. She begged to go for a ride. She loved it when I got the leash out to let her know that it was our time to spend together.
I walked and searched in despair. She was so fast. She could have made it very far by now. I had no idea where these pathways led. I was afraid to go too far. I decided to keep going. I would walk until I found her or found Stem. I felt the dirt on the walls as I walked through letting my fingers leave a mark. I was afraid of getting los
t. But I was more afraid of never loving that dog again and feeling her at my feet while I slept.
I came across small empty rooms. A much needed crate room and a maze of pathways. I kept going. I was calling out to her over and over.
Still as I walked there was no sign of life. Not one sign. I felt like I was in an abandoned mine. Where did
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everyone go? Forgetting everyone else, where did my sweet girl go? Was there an end to these trails of dirt? I walked and walked until I ended up in a large common area that had a worker in it. He looked younger and was stacking rocks. I must have frightened him a little with my appearance and he coward back a little. He did not know what to do or say.
