by Deb Stratton
“Do you know Stem? Have you seen a dog run this way? Is there anyone here that I can talk to?” I said frantically.
Please say something. Say anything. I will not hurt you just talk!
He looked at me and said, “Stem was here very early today and went that way. I have not seen a dog or anyone else.”
I let the tears roll down my cheeks. I had walked all of that way and this was the way I had chosen. Stem had been here but my dog had not. I thanked him with my shaky voice and went back to find another pathway that Solstice could have taken. I walked for hours and turned around at another dead end. My hope left me. I knew that it was too late. She was gone. My heart was empty. I continued on crying until I reached the dirt hill again. I did not know what to do. If I went over and back in I was giving up and letting her go.
So again I sat at the bottom of the dirt. I ran my fingers through my hair. I looked at my dirty broken
nails and nervously went through each one to get the dirt out. I looked at myself in a different way. I felt different and I knew that it was time to make a stand. I could no longer feel this way. I had been kind and submissive to all that were here for my own reasons. It was mostly due to wanting to survive.
I could not do that any longer. I had to become a fighter. I had to find a way home. I had to get out and breathe again. I had to stop crying and be strong. I climbed that hill and headed for my room.
I grabbed that old backpack and filled it with my journal and snacks. I gathered some meat and water. I took dry socks and other items I treasured from those bags.
I held the cellphone that I had given up on and tucked it into my pocket. I threw the backpack on and headed out. I was heading out to take back my life and to also continue searching for my dog.
I felt huge and tired. I walked and walked until I found a place to rest. I hid in a crate room just to close my eyes for a few minutes. I hid because I was not sure if someone would come along that would hurt me. That crazy Bigfoot was still out there. I had not seen Broken or any others since Stem took me to his family’s area.
I knew that there was a way out. There was a way
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other than the wells because Stem was able to go above. There is an opening or a way. I was determined to find it.
While I lay resting I had no idea that above ground my dog ran through the woods. She had found her way out and as I spent my time searching for her she was running for freedom. I did not know how far we were from my home and she was making progress to town again. I had only hoped if she had escaped that she could find a way back to my neighborhood and that the kids or Dave were there to see her and call her in.
I had a braided fabric collar on her that I had made from old clothing in those bags. I had hoped if she returned they would see this and try to discover where it could have come from.
I continued to stay in the crate room and cry. I cried so much that I knew I was on the brink of just losing my mind. I knew all of the tears would not bring back my family or my dog. I knew too well the feeling of loss. It is so hard sometimes to accept it. I feel for others that have great loss. I know that each day must be so very hard to even get up and move forward for them.
I felt that I was stronger than this. I was not the person that was sitting here in the dirt crying. I was a woman that always knew what she wanted and I was the woman that could fix anything. I lived to solve problems and make a better life for myself.
But here I sit. Broken. Defeated. No one knows how I feel inside. I have no one to talk to. My story cannot end here and yet I have no idea what to do.
I wanted to keep going and searching for a way out. I wanted to find my dog. I needed to know where Stem had gone. I propped my backpack under my head and tucked my arms and hands inside my sweatshirt. I would just lay still and take a short break while deciding what I should do next.
I listened while I rested and there was nothing but silence. No loud footsteps were around me. There were no sounds of voices. I listened for a rumble or noise from above. Today was proof that this underground city was endless and linked together by pathways that were not used by the others regularly.
I knew that it must have led somewhere. I could walk for hours only to discover more uninhabited areas. I also could land myself in a group of unfriendly neighbors.
I sat up and pulled my arms out of my shirt. Tossed my backpack on and used the crate. I sipped some water and stood in the doorway looking at the dirt walls. If I went right I may lead myself to a place where I could not return easily. If I went left I would eventually end up back at Stem’s.
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I walked to the right and took a bold leap into the unknown. I knew better than to try my own judgement. It was questionable. I walked for almost 2 hours and seen the most beautiful sight that I had seen in months. It was sunlight. There was sunlight beaming out from a hatch door on a dirt wall. The hatch was open just enough to fully light the path well and it had been hard to see most of the way. I walked towards it light it was a victory. It was more than I could have ever hoped for.
As I Looked through the crack I saw rocks. I pulled the hatch door open and had a glimpse of recollection of the first well I fell into and also the second well I had hid in. I was almost too big to fit through the hatch with my belly so large. I managed to get through enough to scoot across the bottom and stood up. I was looking up at the sky. The clouds were so beautiful. It was getting close to late afternoon and the sun was starting to set behind the tops of the trees.
I tried to think of a way out. This well was obviously not in a busy area or it would have someone in it. That seemed a bit out of the ordinary for this place.
Everything was monitored and routine. Why would they leave a well unattended that someone could fall into and slip out of the hatch? I looked around at all of the leaves and sticks and thought I may be able to make some type of ladder to climb up if I could get enough limbs. I could use some strips of my shirt to tie around the corners to secure them. I am not sure if this would
really work but anything was worth a try. I gathered as many as I could and made a pile.
I squatted down to get back through the hatch and found a corner to lie in. I would spend some time manufacturing something that would get me to the top. I also wanted to explore the area I was in to look for any items that could also help with my plan.
I went back and forth getting sticks and tying them together with the fabric I was ripping off in strips. I wound it around trying to make it as solid as I could. As the makeshift ladder became longer I pulled it through the hatch door. I knew that it would be too long to fit if I waited until it was finished. I squeezed back through the hole and worked on it some more while sitting in the bottom of the well.
I suddenly had felt very happy and energetic. I sang a bit. I enjoyed the fresh air. I felt that this could be my greatest craft project ever. I would be lying if I did not say that I was terrified of what was going on around me. I was scared but driven. I had mixed feelings about the sadness Stem would feel if I was to leave. I was also afraid of leaving and attempting to go home while I was expecting this baby.
There were so many things in my head that I could not think about it any longer. I put it all aside and focused on my project. My body hurt. I was tired and
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lost. I continued braiding the fabric around the wood. I had to make a decision to use my own shirt to have enough to finish this. I could go without. I had a sweatshirt on over my shirt so I would not have been completely cold and bare.
I was very sure that I had enough fabric with my shirt that I would be able to reach this ladder up to the top. I left the ladder and wandered out into the common area. I looked around for any items that would help me secure the ladder to the wall. I could place a few rocks at the bottom so it does not slide. That seemed easy enough. I collected the rocks I had seen around the area and also stopped back in the corner to sip some water and have a snack.
My baby was movi
ng and that sent me to the crate room I had seen around the corner. I really did not need to go there. There was no one around I could easily just urinate anywhere I wanted. I had said it before when I had walked through the woods and will say it again. This is my day. This is my journey. I am going to enjoy my adventure and do what I want to do. If only I could believe myself when I say it. I have let my confidence sink to an all-time low in my life.
I tied the last knot on my rustic ladder and pushed it up the wall. I leaned it across to the back side so that it could not fall or slide. By doing it this way it may be too short. I would need to get it straight up and down. I looked up into the trees and listened to the birds and
the wildlife. I was on my way to walking through the area above. I was so close.
I grabbed my backpack and items to avoid leaving evidence that I had been there and crawled back through the hatch. I pulled the hatch door closed to be sure that I would not be seen if anyone was to go down a path in my direction.
I looked up at my hand tied ladder. I grabbed the branches and stepped on the first step. I wiggled a bit to be sure it felt stable. I placed my foot on the second step and then the third. With each step I wiggled and tested the strength. I had 4 steps left to reach the top of the well. Slowly I took each one until I could get my hands on the top of the stone to pull myself out. I made it! The ladder stayed in one piece and I was sitting at the top of the well. It was a beautiful evening. I stood up to look around and was in an area where there was no sign of others.
There were no buildings. There were no smells of pollution or burning. I was in the center of the woods with nothing surrounding me but trees. There were so many that I was sure this must have been a conservation area or state park. I could have easily been on a farm though. I saw some rock ledges and limestone walls. This was very common for Missouri. I had previously walked through many woods while on trips that had
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very similar bluffs. They always captured my attention due to my interest in caves and the mystery they hold. I had found my own real life mystery.
My cave searching days were now officially over. Someday I had hoped that this would all be behind me. I would be happy to live to tell my story and cherish it all as my greatest adventure in life.
I walked around in circles afraid of leaving the well. I did not want to get lost and end up in the hills without food or water. It was a very hard decision to make. At that very moment my mind was made up quickly when I hear the leaves moving. I heard sticks breaking. I heard something around me. There was no sight of what it was but it was there. I am afraid to look as the sun is almost gone. It would be nightfall and I was sure it was a bear. I could be a deer but the noise sounded more like a big heavy animal. It did not sound like a graceful doe or a big beautiful buck coming out for a late evening meal. I walked back to the edge of the well and moved the ladder to be sure it was still stable and decided to go back down.
With each step down I felt my hope slip away. I had found a way out and had nowhere to go. I could just leave and take my chances. I would be risking my life greatly by doing this. I stepped down slowly until I had about 5 steps left. After having just a few more I suddenly heard a crack. I heard something break and I fell to the bottom of the well.
I landed on my right shoulder and felt roughed up a little but uninjured. I saw blood on the sleeve of my hoodie. I looked under me and there was none. I looked on my pants and there were no signs of blood there either. I felt my face and my hair. I found the source quickly.
My ear tag had been ripped from my ear. I was still dripping steadily. I looked around for the tag and did not see it. I had no extra cloth or fabric in my bag to press to my ear. I used my sleeve and squeezed my way back out to the large room. It was almost dark out so trying to see at night in these tunnels is much harder than it is with peeks of light here and there. I had been lucky to have found those small lights in the bags Stem had brought to me. I pulled one out of my bag and shined it down the pathway.
I decided to head back to Stems and wait there until he was to return. It would take me a few hours to find my way and fortunately I am the type of person that is pretty good with directions. I must have some type of internal compass that leads me in the direction I need. I would consider that a wonderful gift.
I walked and searched for my way back to Stem. I continued on until I was back completely. I had made it to the large dirt pile and it was different. The pile looked smaller. They must have been working on digging it out while I was away. I did not have to lie down or crawl
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through it. I was able to step up and over to climb across. I saw right away the guards! I ran towards them while still holding my sleeve to my bleeding ear. I said hello and ran past. Stem was standing past the fire area. He looked upset. I ran through the doorway and went straight to him. I put my head on his chest and cried. I had to cry. It was the only way I could soothe myself after what I had been through for so long here.
I was happy to see him because I felt safe again. I asked him where he had been. I told him my dog had run away over the dirt pile and that I was searching for her. I continued to ask where he was and what had happened to cause the dirt to explode. I was back to my usual rambling. He could sense that I had been scared and worried. He rubbed my head and looked down at my ear. He looked worried and just then he picked me up and carried me to the water area. He sat me down on the rock ledge and used the water to clean my ear.
I did not give him any real details about what happened. I kept the secret of my ladder and adventure to myself. He was concerned that my dog had run off. He offered help to find her. I was grateful.
We ended the night by the fire. I had thoughts about my sweet girl and my family. I looked at Stem while we sat there and touched my growing stomach.
I was soon to have a child. I was soon to have his child.
Chapter Seventeen
The final days had arrived. I was not well. I felt sick and sad. I had spent the past few weeks relaxing and enjoying time spent with Stem. I had made a baby bed and during a few more hunting trips he had managed to bring me back a few more bags which helped me have additional fabric and items to create some baby diapers and covers.
It is such a mess for me to try to figure out all of this without going to a real store or doctor. I had a few visits from Barka over the past few days to check my progress. I was so large that I was not sure that I could deliver. I was beginning to think that she may be concerned about the same thing.
I started walking around the rooms more to try to start labor. I went for multiple swims and was cleaning up the best that I could. How does one really clean dirt floors and walls? I kept blankets on my floor areas and washed them to keep them nice and clean. I was fortunate enough to have asked Stem to keep his steps outside of the area. He could really stir up some dust as he moved around.
Just as I was ready to go for a swim Barka came in with her big smile. I asked if she would like to talk back by the water and she agreed. She followed me back and we sat on the rock to talk for a few moments. It was nice to lie on the towels and watch the steam float
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overhead. I really enjoyed talking to her. She asked me to get into the water so that she may demonstrate how to check myself to see if the baby was close. I had some cramping lately but nothing really major. It had been a while since I had been to a real doctor. It was easy to remember how they checked to see if the baby was close. I just never really understood how they did it.
So I ventured out as usual to try to discover what could be a sign. I felt around. Nothing. I was clueless. I moved slowly out of the water back to my towel and Barka asked if she may check. This may have been the most awkward moment in my entire life. I laid back and let her feel my stomach and other areas. I was looking forward to having my body back and the next step of my journey here.
And there it was. Whatever she had just done caused a big rush of fluid. It was not a small amount. I kn
ew now it was time for something to happen. Perhaps this would be the start of an incredible day. I really did not know what to do next. I knew that incident indicated that my water had broken. It was such a heartbreaking moment for me. I was actually very frightened.
My excitement was greater than the fear and I was immediately ready to go through this experience to get to the next step of my life path. I cried some and Barka said that she would stay with me. She also preferred that we stay near the water.
I sat alone while she went out to talk with Stem. I knew that he would be so thrilled. I wonder if he would be the pacing father type. I was still not sure if he had ever been through this type of situation before. He had never directly said whether he had been in this type of relationship in the past. I assumed that he had not. Considering that he still stayed close to his family and that he does not live away from them. I wondered how he would get word to his family after the baby was here.
