Tainted Rescue

by Jenn Vakey

  He was angry and was making no attempt to hide it. I just dropped my head down against his and sighed. Let him be mad.

  “Like I was going to just leave you.”

  Rhydian didn’t respond to that. I could feel his heart speeding, but I didn’t read into it. Probably just anger. Or fear, as he had no idea where we actually were.

  “Are you comfortable?” I asked after several tense, silent minutes. I didn’t want to lose this contact, but the tension was getting uncomfortable. “I can lie you down.”

  He shook his head without taking any time to think it over. “I’m okay. Are we safe here? I’m guessing we’re underground.”

  That wasn’t a big leap to make. Not with the rubble on the floor under the hole in the ceiling.

  “There are at least two doors between us and outside,” I answered confidently. “I’m guessing we’re about fifty or sixty feet down, so I don’t imagine any animals will attempt to come the way we did. Even if they do, I doubt they’ll survive. You’re damn lucky you did.”

  The thought made me uneasy. It was the third time in as many weeks that I had come so close to losing him. Even thinking that there was a chance his luck would run out made my arms reflexively tighten around him. He must have been thinking along the same lines because he gripped my arms tighter and we sank into silence again.

  “Did everyone else go back to the apartment?” he asked sometime later. He had to know that they had, but I had a feeling he was groping for something to talk about. Something to break the eerie silence.

  “Yeah. And don’t be mad about them leaving without me. I’m pretty sure Zaydan was about to throw me over his shoulder and drag me back with them. They’ll be back for us in the morning if we haven’t found another way out first. I’m not sure that rope would support us going back up.”

  Rhydian shook his head, likely coming up with a list of things to lecture me about, but he just sighed and let it go. Well, mostly.

  “Those are the rules on trips like this,” he said levelly. “They weren’t acting out of fear. Rescues are only done during the day.”

  “I know. I could tell he was telling the truth.” But I wasn’t going to leave him. That’s what I couldn’t say.

  He nodded. “Does that ever get hard? Always knowing when people are lying? I mean, some lies aren’t really that bad. Like when Linley was little and she’d ask if she did a good job drawing a picture. Sure, it was cute, but they rarely resembled what she was trying to draw.”

  I shrugged. “It’s not so bad. I’ll take the downsides over not knowing if people are being honest with the big stuff. I think it’s actually harder for other people. I always know, but they don’t have any choice but to trust what I say. And, like you said, I always know when they lie and they know it. All I can really do to even it out is to always tell the truth, even if they won’t like it. It’s only fair.”

  I could have been easily talking about anyone, but I think we both knew I wasn’t. The trust issues between us could always be an issue, no matter how hard I tried to fix them. I had earned it.

  Rhydian tensed slightly, like he wanted to say something. I just waited. Just when I thought that he’d let it go, he spoke again. “Can I ask you a question?”

  His tone was tight, almost hesitant. It didn’t leave me feeling at ease with where this was going to go.

  “Of course.”

  With a heavy sigh, he asked, “When did the plan change? How long after arriving in Alkwin did you decide not to do what my uncle wanted?”

  I was both relieved and nervous with the topic. He was actually asking, but there was no telling how he would take the answer. All I could do was exactly what I said. Tell the truth and hope it didn’t drive us further apart.

  “When you were in the clinic after bringing your sister back.” My throat was tight, dryer than it had been before. “I was so relieved when you got back, and also guilty at the thought that you could have been hurt. Because of me. I knew that, even if it made it harder to get Lillith back, there was no way I could do it. I’d never be able to live with myself.”

  Rhydian’s heart sped, but he didn’t respond. So I went on.

  “I spent that whole week getting ready. Training, planning. I was going to go back in and follow him, getting her out on our birthday. I knew I probably wouldn’t get away, but all I really needed to do was provide enough of a distraction to give Dallin and Pax enough time to get her outside the wall.”

  “What changed?”

  “I called him the day after the river. After I got back from that retrieval with Aarys,” I admitted, then smiled as I remembered the whirlwind of emotions during those two days. The way I’d felt. My first kiss. The energy that had been coursing between us in the clinic. Then I frowned, recalling how Adler had tainted it. “He told me about your father and sister. Then he mentioned he’d be shut away because of it for several days. He gave me a date to have you out. It was the morning after that night. I had planned on getting back to Alkwin before he could, then following him to her.”

  Rhydian growled. We never really talked about what happened. Nothing more than the fact that I’d killed Adler. I wanted to know how he felt, but I had a feeling I wouldn’t like the answer.

  “You really thought I’d killed them?” The question came out almost pained.

  I tightened my grip on him almost reflexively. “I don’t know how to put it that will make sense,” I said after several moments of trying to formulate my answer. “It was like you were two completely different people in my mind. There was that man, the one he said you were. Then there was you. It never really made sense in my head. It also only took me about an hour to know Linley wasn’t dead. Although, I had no idea why you’d be holding her like that. Not when everyone thought she was dead.”

  “Would it have made things clearer if you knew?” he asked softly. “If you had known who I really was?”

  I didn’t want to answer that. Saying it would mean giving him a reason to take some of the blame. This was on me, and only me.

  “Would I have included you in my plan to go get my sister?” I asked, knowing very well that I wasn’t answering his question. “Absolutely not.”

  He didn’t point out that I’d talked around it. I didn’t really expect him to. It was an answer in itself, but I had a feeling he knew me well enough to know that I wasn’t willing to share the blame.

  “It doesn’t make any of it better, but I was going to tell you,” I admitted. I closed my eyes and brushed my cheek against his hair. “I almost did so many times, but I was afraid of what would happen. That you would stop me from going after her. But I knew if I made it back to Alkwin that you would have to know the truth. Even if it meant you hated me for it.

  We didn’t talk again until the timer on my watch went off telling us that Rhydian’s bones were mended enough for him to move. He needed time to process everything. I guess I should consider it a good sign that he didn’t try to pull away from me before then.

  It was already after midnight. We still had seven hours before the others would come looking for us. I was just about to ask Rhydian what we should do when he pushed up, testing his weight on his legs, then reached down to help me to my feet.

  “The exit to the street, closer to or further from the apartment?”

  I paused, looking at the hole to remember the angle I’d come down. “Closer,” I answered. “Assuming the stairs don’t change direction after the gated barrier I stopped at.”

  Rhydian dug his fingers into the back of his neck. Thinking. “We were only a block from the building when I fell,” he said, more thinking aloud than anything else. “We have the guns from the Makers, although it’s still dangerous to be outside right now. On the other hand, I doubt either of us will get much sleep down here.”

  He met my eyes, leaving it hanging there. Silently asking my opinion. I knew the dilemma. I had no idea what had happened on the last trip, but even I was frightened by the idea of running into an animal up t
here. Still, I knew he was right about the sleep. Even if he volunteered to stand guard, there was no way I’d be able to close my eyes.

  “We could follow the stairs and see where they surface,” I offered. “Then decide from there. Turn back around at the first sign of trouble.”

  Rhydian thought about it, then nodded in agreement.

  “I’ll leave a note on the rope,” I said, moving back toward my bag. “That way they know where to look if we get pinned down somewhere else.”

  I pulled one of the larger bandage packages out, then moved to the desk against the wall. I’d seen what I think had been called a pencil sitting on it. Hopefully it still worked.

  After writing a note telling them the direction we were headed, I reached down into the bag to find something to secure it with.

  “You don’t owe me anything,” Rhydian said from where he stood behind me. “You don’t have to protect me.”

  I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “You think that’s why I stayed behind?”

  Before I could say anything else, Rhydian’s hand wrapped around my arm and I was pulled to my feet and turned to face him. It startled me, causing me to drop both the note and the bandage I was going to use to tie it to the rope.

  Rhydian’s eyes met mine for a split second before he took hold of my face with both hands and tugged me up to meet him.

  I whimpered at the shock of his damp lips on mine. This was so different than the last few times he had kissed me. It wasn’t slow and sweet. It also wasn’t in the heat of a tense situation with fear and adrenaline feeding it. No, this was more like that day in the lab. So much relief behind it, and not just mine.

  “God, I’ve missed you,” he said against my lips before pulling me back to him. And that’s exactly what his body was saying too. The desperate movements of his mouth, the way his body pressed against mine like he couldn’t get close enough.

  My eyes started watering. I couldn’t respond. Nothing more than grabbing his waist and holding him there. Still fearing he was going to step away and stop this. That it didn’t mean what I hoped with every ounce of my being it did.

  And he did step back, his hands dropping down to my sides, but only enough so that he could lift me up. I gasped at the movement, my legs wrapping around his waist all on their own. My thoughts racing over every way this could end.

  “Are you sure?” I made myself ask, pulling away so that I could see him. I had fully accepted how I felt about him. I was completely and totally in love with him. I also never thought this would happen again. That only added to my fear. What if he changed his mind? What if we did this, then things just went back to the way they had been? I didn’t think I could survive that. It would be too much.

  The way he looked at me, that beautiful smile reaching all the way to his eyes, made me feel like he could see right into me. Like he knew exactly how I was feeling. What I was thinking.

  “You’re my girl, Leeya,” he said, still smiling as one of his hands moved back up to cup my cheek. And nothing had ever sounded so amazing.

  Rhydian didn’t wait for a response. That was probably for the best, because those four little words had left me completely and totally dumbstruck. He was kissing me again as he turned around and walked back over to the pallet on the floor, lowering us down until his weight was holding me in place.

  His lips left mine so he could pull my shirt off and toss it behind him. His eyes moved over my body, chest heaving from his rapid breaths as his fingers traced over my bare skin. He smirked when the feel of it made me jerk and shifted his eyes back to mine. The heat that had been in them the last time we were together was nothing compared to what I was seeing now. Now he looked feral, hungry.

  Even looking at him like that was enough to cast away the chill in the cool room. That only intensified when his fingers trailed down and started to undo my pants. There was no hesitation this time before he pulled them off, tossing them, along with my socks and shoes, back with my discarded shirt.

  A growl rumbled through his chest, his tongue sliding across his lips as his eyes covered my body. He pulled his own shirt off, then dropped back down on top of me and covered my mouth with his.

  That nervousness from last time wasn’t there. I slid my hands down between us as we kissed and undid his button. My heart raced even faster as he smiled against my mouth. He kicked his shoes off and help me strip him of his pants.

  This was really happening. With his warm skin pressed against mine, I knew we were far beyond the point that he was going to stop this. Not with the way he was moving against me, only our underwear between us now. The feel of his hands on my bare flesh. His excitement growing, each touch more desperate than the last.

  “I don’t know if I can be slow this time,” he breathed out heavily, his hand gripping so tightly to my waist that it could bruise. He shook his head with the words, and I knew he was fighting to stay in control.

  I moved my hand up, pushing his hair from his eyes so I could see them. “Don’t be.” And I meant it. I wanted to experience all of this, everything it could be. Especially if there was a chance it would never happen again.

  Rhydian’s eyes flared like they were on fire. He kissed me hard, then started brushing kisses down my chest.

  My body practically shook as he took off the rest of my clothes. Then his. I prepared myself for what I knew would happen next, but Rhydian had other plans.

  His fingers grazed up the inside of my thighs, his eyes locked on mine. A nervous, almost embarrassed laugh shook through me when he touched me there. Then it was replaced with a surprised gasp when he did something that suddenly shot a surge of pleasure through my body.

  Rhydian smiled. He knew the full extent of my knowledge when it came to this stuff, and he appeared to be enjoying watching my reactions. I had no problem with that. In that moment, I never wanted him to stop.

  When Rhydian moved down over me, he still took the care he had last time. At least until I was ready for more. Pinning my hands over my head like he did when we were sparring. Showing me everything he had wanted to do in those moments now.

  I hadn’t thought it was possible for anything to be better than it had been in the lab. I was wrong. Rhydian had no problem reading my body and doing exactly what he needed to to build us both higher and higher until the world shattered and we fell apart in each other’s arms.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  RHYDIAN

  I would be lying if I said I hadn’t been longing to be with Leeya again. Even when I was angry with her. Of course, then it wouldn’t have really been anything more than physical. A way to make myself feel better.

  That’s not what this was. Leeya gave me the answers I had needed. She had been right. There was no way of knowing if she was telling the truth. I had to trust her, and I did.

  I had been holding on to my anger, believing only the parts of the story that I wanted to. But that didn’t make me happier. Leeya made me happy. She was one of only two people who actually did. And assuming she was telling the truth, it had been real all along.

  When I let myself really give in, that’s the only thing that mattered. I meant what I had said. She was my girl. She hadn’t come for me because she felt like it was her duty. She had for the same reason I always went after her. Because neither of us would be able to live with ourselves if we didn’t.

  Leeya tried hard not to smile after we dressed and gathered our stuff. She wasn’t very good at it. She never really had been good at hiding her emotions. I was fine with that. It was nice seeing her like this again. Actually happy. I also liked that it was because of me.

  She looked longingly at the subway car when we passed by it. That wasn’t a surprise. The girl had always been overly curious. I had to admit that it was pretty incredible. I had seen the remains of vehicles on the streets, but the weather and years had done some serious damage to them. This was different. It had been protected down here. This just wasn’t the time to check it out. So I made a silent promise to bring her b
ack the next time we were here. Then I made sure to secure the gate on the stairs to prevent animals from coming down as much as possible.

  There were two similar gates that we had to pass through before finally reaching the street level. It was almost two in the morning. One of the worst times to be out. Thankfully, we actually weren’t far from the apartment at all. In fact, the stairs let out inside of a building just a quarter block from the entrance. It was a risk trying to get there now, because the doors were supposed to be barricaded at night. I knew Zaydan, though. Even if it meant putting them in danger, he wouldn’t do it. Not after he left Leeya on the street.

  “Stay close,” I said, my eyes scanning the street before looking back at Leeya. I could tell she was frightened, but she was trying hard to hide it. “It will only take a few minutes to get there.”

  Leeya nodded, taking in a breath to steady herself, and gripped her bastons tightly in her hands. I had offered her one of the guns, but she had turned it down. She was more comfortable with her weapons.

  The air outside was much cooler than it had been during the day. It was even noticeably lower than it had been in that room. Leeya shivered but didn’t stop to acknowledge it.

  My heart raced with each step. We weren’t alone. Not even close. While I couldn’t see them, I could hear animals all around us. Stalking.

  I had hoped they would stick to that game until we could reach the building. No such luck. We were halfway there when a shadow moved in front of us. Leeya sucked in a breath, her body moving even closer to mine. Then, before I could decide what to do, a large cat moved out in front of us. It had hair the color of Kip’s, although it was thicker around its head. A lion. It likely wasn’t alone.

  I didn’t hesitate. I aimed the gun and pulled the trigger. I couldn’t see anything, but I felt the energy fill the air around us like before. The lion, who had been in the process of taking a step toward us, screamed and stumbled back like he had been struck by something powerful.