The Fourth Day of November

by Mark Campbell

  Night turned into day. Day turned into night.

  Maya Angelou once said: “If you don't like something change it. If you can't change it change your attitude.”

  March 3, 2014

  It would be months before we returned home. Just when I thought my wife was doing well, she would suffer a stroke. Days after getting home, I found it hard to hold myself together. More than once, I wanted to scream and shout to the heavens and beg God not to do this to me. Then, it came to me, who was I to question the Creator? My mind wondered endlessly thinking how not to let my wife of twenty plus years watch me come apart.

  Doctors confirmed the worst. A third tumor was now growing in Lee's brain, resting on her frontal lobe. I was motionless in the waiting room that was filled with family. When I heard the news, I was trying to relate to what the doctors released. Then, my emotions oozed out. I volcanically erupted and began punching the waiting room walls. I kicked anything in sight. This is what I could remember.

  Bradley finally grabbed my exhausted and limp body while doctors injected me with a sedative. I was out for several hours. I couldn’t hold it together anymore. In retrospect who could, knowing the person they loved was dying? I wanted to die too. I didn’t want to watch my wife suffer any further.

  Blurry-eyed, I made out a tall figure in front of me. Bradley stood by my beside and poured what looked like water into a transparent cup. Anne Marie took the cup from Bradley, and bent forward, gently placing her small hand behind my head moving it upright so that I could sip from the cup. I remember Bradley telling her to go home many times. Ann Marie wouldn’t hear of it. She refused to do so.

  My mouth felt like a desert, dry with the white crud forming at the corners. I tried to move and realized I had been strapped tightly to the bed. I struggled under the restraints. “Where is my wife?”

  “Calm down, little brother. She resting and so should you.” Bradley’s voice was even.

  “Why am I tied to the bed like a bloody lunatic?”

  “You don’t know your own strength.” Anne Marie answered while untying first my hands then feet without doctor or Bradley’s approval. He feared I would harm myself. Anne Marie was not afraid and understood my forbearing ire. Bradley’s facial expression, on the other hand, showed traces of heartache and sadness for his younger brother.

  I still insisted on seeing my wife. Both Anne Marie and Bradley suggested that I get more rest. “I've had enough rest! Just get me out of here, now! Do you bloody hear me?”

  A doctor and nurse rushed into the room. They wanted to know who had removed the patient restraints. They advised me to get back into bed. Unwillingly, I told them I would comply if they let me see Lee. Instead, the doctor told me that she was resting. Unfulfilled, I reluctantly got back into bed.

  ---

  Still in my nightwear, I covered the beige pajamas with a dark blue robe, and made my way to room 5551 on the fifth floor. Midway there, Ann Marie called out.

  “Where do you think your sneaking off too?”

  “I'm going to see my wife.”

  “Doctors said you were suffering from shock and lassitude. If you’re going anywhere, you’re going in that thing.” Ann Marie pointed to a nearby wheelchair.

  “There is no way I'm riding in that thing.”

  “You have no choice in the matter. It’s that thing or back to bed.” Ann Marie was in no mood for senselessness as she pointed her finger at the wheelchair.

  ---

  Inside Room 5551, mum along with other family members had stayed at Lee's bedside, taking turns watching over her.

  “Hi, dad.” Emma ran over and hugged me, almost knocking me backward as I raised myself from the wheelchair. I was worn out.

  Ellen slung her arms around me, squeezing tightly. “You had us worried. Sorry we didn’t come and see you dad. Emma and I where taking turns watching mum; although, Grandma Scott wanted us to go home. We needed to be here when mum wakes up again. She's been asking for you nonstop, even when we told her what had happened.

  “How is she?” I whispered.

  Ellen turned her head towards Emma, as if unsure of what to say. Choosing her words carefully, she started to speak before Emma came to her rescue.

  “Mum is very weak. I don’t know if she can hold on much longer.”

  Tears filled my eyes once again. My mum held me, hoping to bring consolation or hope. Either way, I fell to my knees and prayed. I begged God to take me instead. In all my years, never had I been distributed such agonizing mutilation to my insides. What mum and Lucy suggested I do next tore me apart. They said I needed to start thinking of funeral arrangements.

  “We know it's hard on you, but son you have to do this for your wife. She asked that we tell you.” my mum spoke gently and deliberately.

  In defiance, I stated that Lee and I had made a vow that one would not go without the other. I wasn't ready to throw in the towel. I desired my wife and nothing else. “Do you all think I'm going to just let my wife die? Everyday, we spent our lives fighting for a breast cancer cure; and now, my wife is fighting for her life. Nobody wants to fight for her? Well, I'm going to stay right here until she wakes up and do everything possible to not let her die.”

  Tears tricked down the faces of family. Grandpa Chang embraced me opening my eyes. “Alistair there comes a time when we must except the forces of nature. Very little can be done to stop what will eventuate in our lives. Only God has the power to impasse death. We are simply here suffering for the sins our parents, Adam and Eve, passed on to us. So, we must be careful of what we do in life. The path that you and my granddaughter chose in this lifetime has been an enthusiastic, inspiring, journey. To honor her now is to remember the way she was. Not like this.”

  “I can't let go grandpa.”

  “Yes, you can.” Lee faintly whispered. “It is my wish for you. As my husband, do as I ask please.”

  I held Lee's hand. It felt cold. “We promised, remember? Neither one was going without the other.” I sobbed.

  “Sometimes, things don’t work out that way honey.” She called the girls and Anne Marie over to her bedside. Lee made us promise to take care of each other before asking to go home.

  Lee wanted to go home. She didn’t want to die in a hospital bed. She longed for the comfort of her own home. Doctors agreed, making sure she had round-the-clock supervision from a nurse.

  We left the hospital the evening of November 2nd.

  November 4, 2014

  Autumn was moving in slower than normal. The leaves fell and the fescue grass was rich with color, unlike the Bermuda grass that grew next door.

  I sat next to Lee on our bed, peering out the window between reading emails and the many handwritten cards from well wisher. It was still early in the morning, 5:00 am, to be exact. Emma and Ellen took turns watching there mother while I took care of day-to-day business.

  Upon return from a trip to the bathroom, Lee opened her eyes and thanked me. “For what?” I asked.

  “For being a wonderful husband and being here for me.” she replied. “Tell the girls to come here, please.” Both Emma and Ellen were sleeping in the adjacent room. They were exhausted after having been up all night taking care of there mum. Both came into the room still worn out when I called.

  Lee knew she didn’t want to hang on anymore. She told us that someday she would see us again, and hoped and prayed that God would take care of us since she was no longer be able to. Lee believed in the word of God particularly Genesis 3:19. Her undying faith in God would allow us to be together once again. Lee’s last words were “I love you”. She passed away on at 7:00 am.

  Lee's body stayed in the bed for a several hours. I wasn't ready for anyone to take her from me.

  “Mr. Scott, we have to remove your wife’s body.” the voice of a chubby man dressed in black from the funeral home expressed politely.

  His politeness was shunned by my actions. I was irate and distraught. Police arrived after I locked the door from the inside and mo
ved a large dresser in front of it, ceasing any and all entry. Lee and I were safe—I thought—until I heard voices outside my bedroom window. Looking down, I saw that the police had managed to get ahold of my stepladder from the garage. With every attempt they made, I pushed the ladder from the window and shouted for them to piss off.

  Then in an eerie moment of silence, Emma shouted from behind the door. “Open up, dad!” she banged harder each time.

  Eventually, I spoke to her. “I can't let them take your mother away.”

  “Nobody is going to take mum away.” Emma found herself doing what she did for a living, only now she had to be negotiate with her father, and not some psychopathic killer.

  “You don’t know that!” I cried out.

  “Dad, it's Emma, Ellen and Ann Marie. Please open the door.”

  “I will if they leave. Tell them to go now.”

  “Okay, dad it's done, but you've got to promise that you will let us in.”

  “I promise.” I slightly cracked the door. I watched Emma escort the chubby-faced man, police and doctor out of our home.

  For almost seven hours, I held on to my wife’s body. Then, I suffered a breakdown and was taken to hospital, and was released four days later.

  ---

  New York City came to a holt 11 days after my wife’s death. People from around the globe came to pay their last respects on the day of her funeral. Media was everywhere. Pattie Labelle Tyler Perry, Oprah Winfrey, Gail King, Lucy Lu, Doctor Oz, Doctor Phil, Sandra Bullock, Eva Mendez, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Heidi Klum, Kelly Rowland, Lionel Richie, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, George Clooney, Jay Z, Beyoncé and LL Cool J were just a handful of the celebrities that attended the service. All around, people flocked the streets, shouting and throwing flowers on Lee’s passing horse-drawn casket.

  The door of the Seventh Day Adventist church on West 11th street closed as the service began. The pastor, Moses Edwards, was born and raised in Alabama. He now traveled wherever the church needed him. His home for the last three years had been New York. He dedicated his entire life to serving God in hopes to spread truth to those who wanted to know God.

  Lee and I had decided we needed more than what we were learning from our own religion, so we made the transition and converted to Seventh Day Adventist three years prior to her death.

  Pastor Edward began the sermon.

  “I recall when my family and I first came to New York and met the members of the congregation, and a young couple came to me and said, ‘Pastor, we didn’t just listen to your sermon, we felt it in our hearts and we want to be baptized.’ This was my first sermon here at this church. Do you know ten more children of God came to me one week later in search of the truth? When I baptized Alistair and Lee, you should have seen how this young vibrant duo embraced that moment with tears of joy knowing they wanted and needed God in there lives.

  “Don’t get me wrong, they knew who God was. Thy just needed to a closer relationship. Standing here today, if I say to you that I'm sad, that would be a lie. I'm happy today because sister Lee Scott found the way to let God know she is waiting to be called by him. When the trumpet sounds, the dead shall be resurrected. Sister Scott, without a doubt, will be among them who will be walking alongside the Most High.

  “God said have faith in me as small as a mustard seed. For those of you who don’t know this text and what it truly means, I'm going to tell you here today. When a mustard seed is planted its roots stay fixed underground and begin to search for the water needed to keep it alive. When it finds that source, it will keep getting stronger, deep rooting further in the ground. Why, because it's found the very thing it needs to keep existing. I'm telling you today, Sister Lee Scott believed in the word of God and she put Jesus Christ as the head of her household. I ask you here today, how many of you are willing to do that? At this time, please bow your heads as we pray for the homecoming of sister Lee Scott.”

  After ten minutes of prayer, Pastor Edward presented Yolanda Adams who broke into a song called I'm Going to Be Ready. She sung a tearful farewell. Afterwards, Gladys Knight, Beyoncé, Brandy, Tamia, Chaka and Lacy sang missing you together as the service went on.

  It was my turn to deliver the eulogy. I fought back tears as I began to eulogize. “Lee Ella Scott was my wife. I recall, ever so clearly, how shy I was to ask her out. However, it wouldn’t take long for me to find courage to do so. It was the night of a friend’s retirement party. Seeing her for the first time, in a dress and not in her work uniform, took my breath away. From that day on, we became inseparable. There was nothing that could keep us apart.”

  For a moment, I stood there in silence, trying hard not to breakdown. How does one not when they lose someone who made them complete? My brother, Bradley, walked up and stood next to me and covered the microphone with his hand. After regaining my composure, I continued speaking from my heart for twenty minutes.

  “My wife knew the true ethical value of love. We had our fair share of ups and downs, nevertheless, nothing could keep us from loving each other the way we did. And whether or not I may have agreed with some of the things my wife wanted to do, I supported what she believed in, every step of the way. Knowing breast cancer has become a great concern to all, my wife lived her life for God in hope to save lives. Now the torch has been passed on to me.

  “I'm faced with the harsh reality of losing a friend, wife, lover and soul mate at the hands of breast cancer. Although Lee is no longer here, she lives on in my heart.” I placed my right hand on my chest to emphasize my broken heart. Pausing once again to catch my breath, I motioned for Emma and Ellen to join me, as I proceeded to conclude the eulogy.

  Lee touched so many people over the years. I could never imagine being without her. Now, I have to continue the fight, honoring my wife’s legacy. The bible teaches us that Job had imperishable faith, love and respect for God. He withstood all the bad things that were done to him because he had faith. I stand here with the same faith and strength. No matter what is taken from me, I will not stop believing in the power of God.”

  Pastor Edwards stepped back up to the podium. “Brother Alistair, in all my years of doing homecomings, never have I sat and listened to such a heartfelt message.”

  Looking around, I noticed that even the eyes of the cameramen and women were filled with tears.

  Before heading to the cemetery, the hearse drove once more past our home and then made its way slowly to Pine Lawn Cemetery. There, Lee Ella Scott was laid to rest. Afterwards, family and friends were invited back to our home for refreshments and a bite to eat.

  Lee's coffin was not what everyone would have expected since we were far from being short of money. But we had agreed years ago that we would not spend piles of money on a casket when there are people in need. Lee insisted on having her casket made by a local chippy. It cost less than two hundred dollars. Some may have thought it cheap. In my eyes, it was ethically praiseworthy.

  Lee had donated her life insurance to St Jude’s Children Hospital, the breast cancer foundation, cancer research and a few other causes. She left me, our daughters and Anne Marie an excess of four million dollars out of her eight million dollar policy. We would later use that money to build the Dame Lee Ella Scott Memorial Hospital in Atlanta Georgia.

  In the days that followed, I withdrew from family and friends, hiding away in the house days at a time, locked in Memories. No one knew what pain I felt after losing my best friend and wife. To be honest, I saw no reason to live on. Suicide had crossed my mind more than once. But, the words of God from the Bible in 1 Corinthians 10:13 gave me comfort.

  “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it.”

  If I needed a reason to live, this was a very good one. God gave me this life and it wasn't mine to take, no matter what I felt inside. This was the certain tru
th of the matter. I had to live on if I wished to ever see my wife and daughters again. It would be in my best interest not to entertain such thoughts.

  Be that as it may, one afternoon my friends dropped by showing concerns for their best friend who was starting to live a life of a recluse.

  “Hi, Alistair.” said Peter. The rest of them nervously smiled.

  “Aren't you going to invite us in?” Hyacinth translated before making her way in. “I guess I'll have to invite myself in and make us a cuppa, won’t I?”

  “How are you Alistair?”

  “I'm doing okay. Thanks Ronnie.”

  “That’s good. The three of us would like to believe that.”