Wild Flame (The Wild: A Rock Star Romance Book 2)

by Micalea Smeltzer

It’s not that I can’t love her, it’s that I already do, and I’m too fucking scared to admit it to myself or her.

  25

  Kira

  Sitting up suddenly, I blink around the now dark room. The TV is off, no lights are on, and Rush sleeps soundly beside me beneath the covers.

  I look down and find his coat spread over me like a blanket. Gingerly, I touch my fingers to the soft fabric and a small smile graces my lips.

  My bun has flopped over, turning my hair into a complete rat’s nest. I pull the hair tie out and run my fingers through my knotted hair.

  With a sigh I lean over and look at the digital clock on Rush’s side of the bed. It’s barely after five. I flop back down and let out a hefty breath.

  I feel bad I bowed out of whatever was planned last night, and therefore Rush stayed behind with me. Normally I’d be all about going out and living it up, but now that I’m pregnant I’d rather relax, watch movies, and stuff my face with food like we did last night.

  I’m turning into such a bore.

  Beside me, Rush stirs slightly and his sleepy eyes blink open slowly.

  “Hey,” he says around a yawn. His voice is so much deeper and raspier when he’s half asleep. I’d be lying if I didn’t say it turns me on. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I feel like I got all the sleep I need though,” I admit. “What time did I crash?”

  “Early,” he answers. His nose wrinkles as he thinks. “A little after seven I think.”

  I snort in disbelief. “I bet you wish you had gone out with everyone. I’m not much of a party animal these days.”

  His face softens, his eyes widening a bit more. “I want to be with you, Kira. Wherever that is.”

  I sit up, drawing my legs up to my chest. I wrap my arms around them as his coat falls to a heap on the bed. “Rush…” I begin, unsure where I’m going with this.

  He shakes his head. “Don’t say anything to ruin it, please?” He begs brokenly. “There’s nothing wrong with us spending time together. There are no expectations. Not on my part at least.”

  I nod, but I’m not sure I believe him. Some of the things he’s been saying, the looks he’s been giving me … it says things I’m scared to believe.

  Growing up, the love I witnessed was toxic.

  My father was a drunk asshole who beat my mom and spent most of his time yelling. I’m not sure I have a single memory of him speaking at a normal volume. Then, my mom was attracted to nothing but assholes. Men who bruised and abused her and she was willing to let them do that. She spent her time getting high and bedding whoever she could. I was an afterthought. Something tossed aside as carelessly as the bills she continuously let pile up.

  “What are we doing today?” I ask, desperate to change the subject. It doesn’t solve anything for me to dwell on things I can’t change.

  “I think Hollis wants to go to Liberty Island—see the Statue of Liberty.”

  “Really?” I’m shocked. I was expecting something different, I don’t really know what, but sightseeing was not on my list of things Hollis would want to do for his birthday. I guess I have to remember my best friend has changed him. He’s not the playboy he once was. “That sounds fun,” I add as an afterthought because of my surprise.

  Rush stifles a yawn and rolls over onto his stomach, clutching the pillow to his chest. The muscles in his back flex with the motion and I have to suppress a moan.

  I’m fucking horny, okay.

  I already love sex, and now my hormones are all over the place, so with Rush flashing his gorgeous body all over the place I can’t be held responsible for my fantasies … or what I might do about them.

  I shake my head rapidly at my thoughts.

  I can’t sleep with Rush again. I need to keep distance between us. We’re having a baby together and we need to be responsible adults.

  “Go back to sleep,” I tell him. “I’m going to run down to the lobby and see if I can get some juice and a bite to eat or something.”

  Before I can blink he’s rolled back over and hops out of the bed. “I’ll get it for you.”

  “Rush,” I begin, saying his name slowly. “I can get it myself.”

  He grabs his sweatpants from the floor, tugging them back on, and over his boxer-briefs. “I’m aware you can take care of yourself and get your own shit. I don’t think you’re helpless, Kira, not at all. But I do think you need to learn to sit back and let others be there for you.”

  “But I don’t need any more sleep,” I defend. “I’m sure you’re still sleepy.”

  He crosses the room to his bag and digs out a t-shirt, tugging it on. I’m kind of sad when his perfect chest disappears but at least the tattoos on his arms are still visible. He pushes his hair out of his eyes and the slim silver ring in his right ear sways.

  “I’m up now,” he explains. “I’ll be back in a few.”

  He disappears around the corner and the door shuts softly behind him, and I know he purposely eased it closed instead of letting it slam shut behind him. He’s incredibly considerate of others. I don’t think he notices he does it.

  I look around the room, not quite sure what to do with myself with him gone. I showered last night so it’s not like I need to do that, and it’s way too early to get dressed or bother doing my hair and makeup.

  Suddenly, my bladder decides for me.

  Definitely time to pee.

  I pad into the bathroom and empty my bladder. Like the room it’s mostly white, but the tile in the shower is bright orange. This place has a strange vibe, but I like it. It’s unique and the world always needs more of that.

  Rifling through my makeup bag on the counter I go ahead and put my moisturizer on my face.

  Back in the room I open the curtains on the large window that overlooks the street below. Traffic is busy, shocker, and it’s incredibly lit up. It’s beautiful in a strange way.

  The door opens and I look to my right to see Rush entering the room.

  “Jesus, what is it with you getting so much food?”

  He shrugs and closes the door behind him, carefully balancing the tray in one hand. “Figured we should have options.”

  I shake my head. “You’re crazy.”

  “Sanity is for pussies,” he responds and I roll my eyes.

  He sets the tray on the bed and drops his room key on the table.

  I grab the plastic bottle of orange juice and twist the cap off before taking a sip.

  “They didn’t have any with pulp,” he says apologetically.

  I raise a brow and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. “How could you possibly know I like pulp in my orange juice?”

  “Again, I notice shit, Kira. You always have it in your fridge.”

  My breath catches slightly. He truly does notice everything. I think he’s the first man I’ve ever encountered that’s observant. Every guy in the past has wanted the same thing I wanted from them—a quick fuck and that’s it. Besides, I think most guys are pretty clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. Not Rush.

  “You really do,” I mutter, staring at the bottle of orange juice like it holds all the world’s answers.

  I pick up an everything bagel he got and spread some cream cheese onto it.

  He grabs a banana and bites into it. “I think I’m going to run down to the gym after we eat. Are you okay here or do you want to join me?”

  I frown. “Honestly, the gym sounds like the last place I want to be, but I haven’t been going, so I should. You heard my doctor, I need to stay active.”

  He nods, chewing a mouthful. “It’s not like you have to go full out. Do what you can.”

  We sit together side by side on the bed, eating our breakfast, and I can’t help but laugh to myself.

  “What?” he questions. “What’s so funny?”

  I finish munching my bite of bagel and swallow. “I was thinking about how…” I pause, gathering my thoughts. Looking at him face to face I finish, “I’ve never spent so much time with a guy befor
e. Ever.”

  He cracks a grin. “I’ve never spent this much time with a woman before. I guess we’re even.”

  I bump my shoulder against his. “We’re kind of friends, I guess.”

  He looks slightly hurt by my words, but I don’t take them back. Friendship wasn’t something I ever planned to offer him, he should be thankful I’ve come this far.

  Finishing our breakfast in silence we get ready to head to the gym. He switches out his sweatpants for basketball shorts and I decide to go as I am since I wasn’t anticipating working out. I’m lucky I packed my tennis shoes—I wanted to be prepared since Rush wouldn’t tell me where we were going. I’m glad now for the surprise. Coming to New York City is something I’ve always wanted to do, but never had the cash for. Mia asked me to come along once when her family came during the holidays, but I couldn’t get away from work.

  It’s a little after six when we leave the room and head to the hotel’s gym.

  “Well, this is anticlimactic,” Rush blurts, opening the door to the gym.

  I snort in disbelief. “You’re right.”

  There are two treadmills, an elliptical, a stationary bike and a puny selection of weights.

  “It’ll have to do.” He waits for me to go in first. I head for the bike, because I figure that takes the least amount of effort for my lazy ass.

  Rush heads over to the treadmill, muttering something about warming up.

  I settle on the bike and bring up my reading app on my phone. Exercise and time to read my steamy romance novels? Yes, please.

  Rush takes a moment to stretch before getting on the treadmill and you bet your ass I watch him. Just because I’ve told myself I can’t touch, doesn’t mean I can’t look.

  He leans over and grabs his toes and I mirror him, getting a great shot of his ass. I nearly fall off the bike in the process and a choked scream leaves my throat as I catch myself.

  He straightens and I quickly look away. He chuckles and I know I’ve been caught. I smile confidently back at him, owning it.

  He merely shakes his head and hops on the treadmill.

  “Warm up, I call bullshit,” I mutter when he begins to jog and then speeds up further.

  I’d be flat on my face at that speed.

  Forcing myself to look away from him, I focus on pedaling and turn my attention to my book. It’s almost time for the hero to ravish the heroine—my favorite part. I love reading the quick historical romances where there’s lots of dirty forbidden sex.

  I’m so into the story I don’t notice when Rush gets off the treadmill.

  “He guides his velvet covered sword into her warm sex … what the hell are you reading?”

  I let out a scream and nearly break my neck when I flip toward the sound of his voice.

  “Don’t sneak up on me. That’s rude.” I swat at his shoulder as he peers over me, squinting his eyes at my lit phone screen.

  “I take it sword means cock? Can I poke you with my sword, Kira?” He grins at me, his blue eyes playful and teasing.

  My cheeks heat. “Don’t mock me.”

  “You’re the one reading about velvet swords.”

  “Well, I can’t help it. Now that I’m abstaining from sex, this is all I have.”

  He raises his brows as he moves over to the bench with weights. He sits down so he’s facing me.

  “I’d be happy to help you un-abstain.”

  I roll my eyes. Sweat dots my skin and I don’t think it’s from the bike.

  “I’m sure you would,” I reply in a higher than normal voice. “That’s the problem.”

  “Why?” he asks, picking up one of the weights.

  I exhale heavily. “I think things are complicated enough without adding sex into the equation again.”

  His arm flexes as he lifts the weight and I nearly whimper. Why am I saying this to him? We need to find the nearest closet, stat. Actually, he could just fuck me here and I’d be okay with it. I’m desperate. Why did I ever think us not having sex was a good idea?

  I shouldn’t listen to me. I’m done. I make stupid rules for myself and then I have to suffer. I shouldn’t be allowed to control my own life.

  “Kira?” he prompts.

  “What?”

  He nods toward my chest and I gape in horror at my nipples pebbled against my tee. I grab my boobs, hiding the signs of my arousal.

  “I think your body is disagreeing with you.”

  “Yeah, well … it’s wrong.”

  Why is it wrong again? I forgot.

  He laughs at me, entirely amused. I know I make no sense. I’m not sure I even understand what I’m saying, but it seems like not having sex with him is the only thing I can do to protect myself.

  “Keep telling yourself that.” His blue eyes sparkle with laughter he does his best to keep contained.

  “I will,” I snap. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, Lord Barnell is about to take Miss Georgina against his desk.”

  Laughter bursts out of him. “You should let me read that when you’re done. Maybe it’ll help me with my blue balls, but your mouth would be better.” He winks.

  How dare he wink at me like that? I’m already vulnerable enough as it is. Don’t guys know a cute grin and a wink sends panties flying? Or maybe it’s just me.

  “Fat chance,” I mutter, forcing my eyes to the screen.

  I can’t see the words anymore. Instead, as I pedal, my mind plays fantasies of him taking me up to the hotel room and fucking me in the shower, then against the window, after that he’ll—

  Get a grip, Kira Elizabeth! This is ridiculous. He’s just a guy. Pleasure yourself why don’t you and get over it. You have fingers for a reason.

  Rush laughs to himself like he knows what I’m thinking. I’m tempted to toss my phone at him, but he’d probably keep it and start reading the book.

  An hour later, and after starting another romance novel, we head back to the room.

  Rush hooks his thumbs into the back of his sweaty shirt and yanks it over his head as soon as we’re through the door. He turns around and faces me with a cocky grin.

  “Should we…” he nods his head toward the bathroom. “…conserve water, together?”

  “Nice try.” I roll my eyes, but dammit if I wasn’t fantasizing about the same thing earlier.

  He grins rakishly. “Your loss. You can go first.” He gestures to the bathroom.

  “Nah, you go ahead.”

  “You sure?” He raises a brow.

  I nod. “I need to catch my breath,” I lie.

  “Okay.” He tosses his shirt over his shoulder where it lands in a heap on the floor. “But remember, I offered.” He warns, pointing a finger at me.

  I smile. “Noted.”

  He steps into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

  A moment later the shower starts up.

  I count to sixty and when I’m sure he’s not coming out any time soon, I hurry to the bed. Between the book, his sultry gazes, and his comments I’m in desperate need of release.

  I kick my shorts and underwear off, lying on my back across the bed with my legs slightly bent, my fingers skim down my body finding my center. I let out a small moan, finding myself already wet and pulsing with the need for release.

  Coating my fingers in my wetness I find my clit and rub it in slow circles. A small moan threatens to escape my throat and I bite down on my lip. It feels good, not as good as what I know Rush could do to me, but getting off is all that matters to me right now.

  I move my fingers down to my center, slipping them inside. I bite down on my lip again as I ride my fingers.

  My body is a taut live wire, waiting for a spark to ignite it.

  Close.

  Riding my fingers harder, I grab my breast over my shirt with my other hand.

  My heart beats faster and faster.

  Almost there.

  I can see my orgasm shimmering on the edges of my vision. I have to get this taken care of before Rush finishes his shower. He can’t
catch me like this. I’ll never hear the end of it.

  My pussy throbs and I know I’m almost there.

  I toss my head back, my eyes shutting as I cry out. My orgasm shudders through me, my whole body pulsing with the shocks.

  “Fuck.”

  My eyes shoot open, my legs twitching with the remnants of my orgasm, and I find Rush standing beside the bed. His towel lies forgotten on the floor and I’m helpless as the small whimper leaves me at the sight of him stroking his cock.

  My heart jolts, beating even more rapid than before. I’m not sure the poor organ can withstand the sight of him. He’s fucking magnificent. A work of art. A feast for my eyes. A—

  “Fuck, you’re so hot, Kira. You have no fucking idea.” His voice is a low guttural rasp as he continues to pump his hand, his eyes on the wetness between my legs.

  “Rush.” My voice shakes and my brain empties of all common sense. I should close my legs, tell him to stop, hide in embarrassment. Something.

  But I can only stare back at him.

  I want to sit up, to move his hand out of the way and replace it with mine. I want to drop to my knees and wrap my mouth around him. But I’m frozen, my eyes locked on him, his movements, his expression, the pleasure evident on his face.

  More wetness floods my pussy and I let out a helpless cry.

  I start stroking my center again as he watches and he growls low in his throat. His blue eyes are the deep stormy blue-gray color of the ocean as he watches me.

  Me.

  I’m doing this to him.

  He’s getting off on me.

  On my body.

  On what I do to him.

  My fingers slip easily inside my body and I bring them back out, rubbing my clit with their slickness.

  “Please,” he begs brokenly. “Please, let me touch you. Please, let me get you off. That’s all I want. To pleasure you. I won’t fuck you, not yet. I promise.”

  “Rush.”

  “Please, Kira. All I want is for you to feel fucking good.”

  I nod once and he lets go of his cock, dropping to his knees in front of me. He spreads my legs further and I cry out when his tongue licks in one swipe from the bottom of my pussy all the way to my clit, which he sucks into his mouth, swirling his tongue.