I move from person to person before finally Hayes pulls me into a corner.
“I just wanted to say you’ve come a long way since you guys came here. You’re a whole different person and I can see in your eyes you’re happier. I know things haven’t been easy for you, and there are bound to be details I don’t know, but I want you to hear it from me that I’m here for you. I know I’m not your father, and you don’t need a replacement, but if you ever need someone like that to talk to … you have me.”
Fuck, these people are trying to turn me into wreck. Maybe it’s all the time without alcohol, or maybe it’s embracing things, but I’ve never been more in touch with my emotions than I am now. Feeling this strongly makes things both easier and more difficult.
After my talk with Hayes I end up back with Kira, wrapping my arms around her and letting my fingers graze her belly.
“Are you surprised?” she asks, tilting her head back to look up at me.
“Fucking astonished,” I reply. I lower my head and kiss the side of hers.
Soon they’re singing happy birthday to me, and Emma—Maddox’s wife—begins cutting the cake after I blow out all twenty-seven candles.
Sitting by Kira on one of the couches, her feet in my lap, with a forkful of cake halfway to her mouth, I say, “This is one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had.”
Her brown eyes sparkle with happiness. “Good—and we have the rest of our lives to top it.”
57
Kira
“Are you staying here for senior year?” Mia asks me, sipping her iced latte in the busy Starbucks a few blocks from campus where classes are starting in two weeks.
“I mean … I’m signed up,” I hedge nervously. “Aren’t you?”
She shrugs, exhaling a sigh. “I told Hollis from the beginning school was important to me and I wanted to finish, so yeah, I’ll be here when they go back to L.A. Long distance is going to suck, but we’ll make it work.”
I stifle a laugh, because once upon a time Mia believed long distance never worked. When you find the love of your life, though, all kinds of opinions change.
She sets her plastic cup down and wraps her hands around it absorbing some of the condensation in the process. “I thought you might be heading back to L.A. with Rush and were too scared to tell me.”
I shake my head. “No … well, I don’t know exactly. We’re figuring it out.”
The last week Rush and I have had numerous conversations about life in L.A. versus here. My life has always been here, but his future is in L.A. I hate these kinds of serious talks and how they disrupt the recent bliss we’ve had, but I know it’s not something that can be avoided.
“You guys are having a baby together,” she reasons. “It’s only natural you’d live together.”
“He wants me to come with him,” I admit. “But I’m scared.”
Admitting it out loud feels like a weakness. I’ve always plowed through life like obstacles didn’t matter. I didn’t allow fear to be a part of my vocabulary, but here we are.
“You could go to school there.” She dances her fingers through the air like it’s oh so easy. “Finish your degree. You wouldn’t be missing out on anything. You might even be able to finish online, and then you could stay home with the baby.”
“You sound like you want me to go.” I raise the cup of purple colored lemonade to my lips.
“I don’t want you to go, but I’m being practical here, Kira. You guys love each other, right? You’re having a baby—naturally you should try to be together.”
I worry my bottom lip between my teeth. I know she’s right, it’s the same conclusion I came to early on, but it doesn’t mean I’m ready to accept it.
The idea of living in L.A. is daunting. I’ve never been, but I can’t imagine it being my kind of scene and more than anything I worry about Rush being thrust back into that kind of lifestyle and environment so soon after getting sober. What if it ruins us?
“I need more time to think about it,” I tell her. “He’s not leaving until September.”
“Does it really make sense for you to start classes?”
I don’t reply because we both know the answer.
She sits back in her chair with a little smirk that tells me she knows she’s right.
“Maybe I won’t go back,” I hedge. “I could take a semester off to be with the baby.”
“That would probably be smart,” she agrees. “He shouldn’t be separated from his mom so young.”
“You make us sound like wild animals.”
“Humans are wild animals. We’re barely civilized. Don’t you watch the news? People hate people for the most ridiculous things these days. It’s nuts.”
“But I’ll be alone if I go to L.A.”
She shakes her head. “No, you’ll have Rush. Hollis, Cannon, and Fox will be there too—and Calista I assume. She’s pretty cool and I’m sure she’d love to help with the baby.”
I shift uncomfortably in the chair. My back has been hurting more than usual for the last two days.
“The baby’s not even here yet,” I evade, this whole line of conversation making me entirely uncomfortable.
She sighs exasperatedly. “You’re going to pop any time.”
“He’s not due until the end of the month. He could come later,” I reason.
She narrows her eyes. “Whatever you say.”
I take another sip of my drink, wincing at a piercing pain in my back.
“See!” She yells at me, pointing an accusing finger. “You’re having a contraction.”
“No, I’m not,” I defend, breathing deeply to ease the pain radiating in my lower back. “I’m practically nine months pregnant, I can’t sleep, every surface hurts my back, and my body has had it. That’s what’s wrong.”
Not to mention my aching and heavy breasts, swollen ankles, and the fact I spend the majority of my time urinating.
And they call pregnancy beautiful.
At the thought of pee suddenly my bladder reminds me it’s time to go.
“I have to use the bathroom,” I tell her, standing up suddenly.
I feel wetness between my legs, but that’s unfortunately normal. I’ve peed myself several times—okay, more than several times—since getting pregnant. But that’s what happens when a giant baby tries to use your bladder as a trampoline.
I waddle to the back of the shop and lock the bathroom door behind me and yank my panties down hurriedly before holding up my dress as I sit down.
As I start to pee I look down, noticing redness on my thighs. It’s not much, but it’s definitely blood. I lean over, peeking into the lining of my underwear and find more blood there.
“Oh my God,” I blurt, quickly grabbing a wad of toilet paper to wipe myself clean.
There’s not much blood on the paper, which I take it to be a good sign, but the fact that there’s any blood at all means I need to get to the hospital as soon as possible.
I wash my hands and rush out to Mia. “We have to go to the hospital.”
“What?” Her eyes widen in surprise and I know I’ve completely caught her off guard even though she was the one only moments ago arguing she thought I was having contractions.
“Hospital. Now.” I bite out the words. “I’m bleeding,” I add, the fear leaking into my voice.
“Oh my God.” She hops up, grabbing her drink, bag, and digging for her keys all in the span of a few seconds.
I grab my purse and follow her to her car. By the time I’m inside and buckled I have my phone in my hand and I’m dialing Rush.
He doesn’t answer and I curse. He might be in the booth recording something.
I call Hayes instead and he answers immediately.
“Kira?” he asks in his worried dad voice. “Is everything okay?”
Sure enough, in the background I can hear drums.
“I need to talk to Rush. It’s an emergency.”
Barely thirty seconds pass until Rush is on the phone. “Kira, wh
at is it? Are you okay?” His voice is even more concerned than Hayes’s.
“It’s the baby,” I say breathless. “I went to the bathroom and there was some blood—not a lot, but enough. Mia is taking me to the hospital.” Another pain pierces through my back and I wince.
“Maybe it’s your bloody show,” he responds, and I can hear shuffling in the background. “If it is … fuck, he’s coming. Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ. It’s happening. It’s happening, people! The baby is coming!”
“Bloody show?” I repeat. “How do you even know about that?” The fact Rush knows it means a sign of labor does something to my heart.
He stops freaking out long enough to respond, “I read the baby books. Guys, I’ve got to go,” he says to them. “Where the fuck are my keys?”
Hearing him freak out would be amusing any other time. “Just get to the hospital,” I beg, my bottom lip starting to wobble with the threat of tears. “I need you.” The three words leave my throat in a broken plea.
“Fuck, Kira. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“We’re all coming.” I hear Hayes say in the background.
“I love you, Kira,” Rush says, still sounding half out of his mind.
“I love you, too.” I hang up the phone and lean back in the seat. We’re not too far from the hospital, thank God.
“Do you think your back pain is contractions?” she asks me, her eyes darting to my side as she white knuckles the steering wheel.
“Fuck if I know,” I blurt. “It’s not like I’ve done this before. I don’t even have my bag, it’s at my apartment.” I curse under my breath. “This isn’t how this was supposed to happen.”
“Calm down,” she says as soothingly as she can. “Once Rush is with you, I can go get it.”
I know the bag should be the least of my worries, and honestly it is, but in this kind of moment it’s a nice distraction to think about something so miniscule and not nearly as life changing as the prospect of having a baby.
Mia parks in front of the main entrance to the hospital, urging me to stay in the car.
Naturally, I don’t listen.
I waddle inside with her and she grabs a wheel chair, commanding me to sit down. She speaks with the people at information who call upstairs for a nurse to come get me.
“I’m going to park the car and I’ll be right up,” Mia promises. Grasping my hand she says, “I love you, you’re like a sister to me, and I know you’re absolutely going to kick ass at this.”
I send her a grateful smile before she runs outside to her idling car. She didn’t even take the keys out of the ignition. Honestly, in the few minutes we’ve been here it’s a miracle someone hasn’t driven off with it.
I’m freaked out by this entire situation and everything I’ve ever learned about childbirth seems to have decided to flee my mind. I guess nothing can ever truly prepare you for being the patient.
Mia’s only been gone three minutes, five tops, when a nurse steps off the elevator. She smiles kindly at me.
“Hi, I’m Amelia. I’m going to take you up to the maternity ward to get checked out. How far apart are your contractions?”
“I’m not sure,” I admit, feeling like an idiot for not timing whatever it is I’m feeling. “I’m feeling pain in my back, but I’m not sure if it’s contractions. I went to the bathroom and there was blood, so that’s why I’m here.”
She nods her head in understanding and wheels me to the elevators.
We reach the maternity floor and she takes me into a room. “Can you get into a gown on your own?” she questions.
“I’ll be fine,” I promise.
“Once you’re changed, we’ll check everything out and see what’s going on. Who’s your doctor?”
I tell her and she leaves the room, closing the door with a soft click behind her.
With shaky hands I change into the atrocious gown. Nerves are getting to me, because if the baby is coming today that’s huge, but if something’s wrong … it terrifies me.
I’ve gotten myself settled on the bed when the nurse reenters with Mia.
“She says she’s with you,” the nurse, Amelia, says.
“She is.”
Mia sits down on the plastic looking couch by the window. Rush should be here any minute. The studio isn’t as far as the Starbucks we were at.
Sure enough, I hear a commotion outside the room and seconds later a frazzled looking Rush bursts into the room. His blond hair is spiked in every direction from repeated tugging of his fingers and his blue eyes are frantic.
“Kira,” he breathes my name like a prayer and rushes to my side.
“I take it this is the daddy-to-be?” Amelia asks with a slightly amused smile.
“He is. Where are the other guys?” I voice my question to Rush.
“Waiting room,” he replies.
“I’ll let them know what’s going on once we have answers,” Mia says from her corner.
“Thank you.” Rush sends her a grateful smile. “Thank you for getting her here.”
“She’s my best friend. There’s nothing to thank.”
What feels like an hour later, I’m hooked up to monitors and my lady bits have been thoroughly checked out.
“You’re definitely in labor,” Amelia announces. “You’re already four centimeters dilated. Looks like you guys are having a baby today.”
Rush grasps my hand and leans his body over the bed into me. “We’re having a baby.”
Me, being my sarcastic self, retorts with, “I kind of knew that already.”
He chuckles as Amelia heads for the door. “I’ll call your doctor,” she announces. “Let her know how things are going.”
Once she’s gone Mia stands. “I’ll let the others know the baby is actually coming.”
“Mia,” I voice her name and she hesitates halfway across the room. “Thank you.” So much is laced into those two small words. “Please, come back. I want you here with me—if you’re okay with it.”
“I’ll be back,” she vows before slipping from the room.
When it’s only the two of us, Rush presses his forehead to mine. “You’re going to kick ass at this, Kira. I love you so fucking much.”
I tilt my head up and press my lips eagerly to his. Grasping his hand I say, “We’ve got this. We’re a team. In this together.”
“Till the end.”
“Till the end,” I echo.
58
Rush
Watching Kira power through contractions gives me a new and deeper respect for women. They’re powerful creatures who can do far more than men ever could.
Her contractions start coming more forcefully, lasting longer, and I can see her wearing out as the hours pass.
Her brow dampens with sweat, her dark hair slicked back.
“It hurts,” she whimpers to me, squeezing my hand as another contraction hits.
“Should I tell the nurse you’re ready for an epidural,” Mia asks, at her other side.
“Yes,” Kira cries, her nose scrunching from pain. “Please.”
Mia lets go of her hand and dashes out of the room to retrieve a nurse.
When Mia returns she tells us the nurse is putting in the order.
Kira whimpers in pain, her lips quaking. I’ve never felt so fucking helpless in my entire life. I wish more than anything I could take away her pain. I would do it in a heartbeat.
Finally the man comes to give her the epidural and I sit holding her hands as she leans forward.
“I’m scared,” she whispers to me, squeezing my hands.
“Look at me,” I command.
Her eyes raise a small amount to peer into mine.
“You’re strong, and fucking resilient, you’ve got this.”
“I’ve got this,” she echoes, letting out a breath as the needle goes into her spine. Once she settles against the pillows she gives my hand a light squeeze. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I know the words are a huge admission f
rom her. Bigger, perhaps, than I love you, because she’s admitting she’s come to depend on me.
Sitting down in a chair beside her bed, never dropping her hand, I admit with a laugh, “Even though the baby books said this could take hours, even days, I still thought it would be really quick for some reason.”
She lets out a snort. “If only.”
“Feeling better?” Kenzie, the nurse on call for the night hours, asks popping in and rubbing disinfectant onto her hands.
“Much,” Kira admits with a small smile.
She checks Kira out and then leaves like she’s done thus far.
Waiting, that’s all we’re doing now. Waiting for our son to decide to join us in the world. The sun begins to set outside the window, bathing the sky in vibrant oranges and deep purples.
“Are you okay here with Mia for a few minutes? I want to talk to the guys.”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine.”
On the opposite side of the bed Mia smiles. “I’ll take care of her, I promise.”
Exhaling a breath, I stand up and head for the door.
Looking over my shoulder at Kira in the hospital bed, her belly large and round with our child, I’ve never been more enamored. I don’t know what I did to deserve this girl, but I’ll never stop thanking the universe for it.
Her eyes meet mine, and in them I see more love than I deserve, but I take it anyway, because I know no one will love her back the way I do.
I close the door softly behind me and find my friends in the waiting room. Hayes is still there too, but now Arden has joined him, and even Calista has shown up.
“You guys should go home,” I tell them. “It’s going to be a while yet until he makes his appearance. There’s no point in hanging around.”
Cannon stands up. “We’re not going anywhere, man. We’re here for you, and we’ll still be here when your son comes into the world.”
“You don’t have to—”
“We want to,” Hollis adds, standing up too.
Fox joins them. “We’re your best friends. You can’t get rid of us that easily, even if you are an asshole most of the time.”
I shake my head. “Come here, you fucking losers.” An older couple in the corner glares at me for my use of language, but I don’t care.
Wild Flame (The Wild: A Rock Star Romance Book 2) Page 44
