Midnight Soul

by Kristen Ashley

  “I’ll be back to go shopping.”

  I was certain she would.

  “Until then,” I said to her back.

  The door closed.

  I smiled.

  That task complete, onward to the next.

  Whatever that turned out to be.

  * * * * *

  One of the palace servants came to me to share that Kristian had arrived.

  I didn’t pay any heed to what it might communicate that I abruptly rose from my seat and left Cora and Circe alone in the sitting room as I dashed out the door.

  The hallways seemed interminable.

  But finally I made the front hall and there he was, allowing his cloak to be taken by a footman while his wife’s cloak was taken by her own maid.

  She saw me first.

  Brikitta Drakkar.

  A mouse of a woman with nondescript hair and features and a too-thin frame, my brother was far more attractive than she.

  That said, except in her presence, I’d never seen Kristian smile as much.

  Or laugh.

  I saw the frozen look on her face I knew was her attempt to hide the fear she had of me.

  It was safe to say I had been far from kind to her.

  I had not at first because I didn’t wish her with my brother. Not because she looked a mouse of a woman. Because she behaved as one. I wanted him to have a strong mate by his side who could help him endure the threat he lived under and get beyond the suffering of his past. But also to bolster his tendency toward leading with his heart, not thinking with his head, something in our world, and especially in our House, that was considered a weakness and thus preyed upon.

  Though it was more.

  She made my brother smile and laugh. She had kind eyes. She spoke softly and didn’t hide her affection not only for my brother, but her family, with whom she was close. She was even demonstrative with her servants.

  My parents could break Kristian.

  If I had ever fallen and they’d turn to Kristian and his own, they would have destroyed her.

  I’d wanted to scare her away. When I’d failed at that, I’d wanted her to develop a thick skin.

  But now I’d done nothing but make her fear and likely detest me.

  In the few days I was sure they’d remain at the palace, I could do nothing lasting about that, of this I was relatively certain.

  But that did not mean I shouldn’t try.

  Well thought, mon ange, Antoine said in my head, and I very nearly tripped over my own slippers, his voice was such a surprise as I hadn’t heard it in days.

  I’d thought he was gone.

  I’d even so far as hoped he was gone, a hope that caused me guilt as well as angst.

  “Brikitta,” I greeted, not quite warmly because I did not yet have the skills to pull that off.

  “Franka,” she replied stiltedly.

  “And where is Timofei?” I asked, glancing around as my brother rounded his wife to come toward me.

  It was Kristian who answered me.

  “Your nephew fell asleep in the sleigh right before we arrived. He’s having a difficult time sleeping so we didn’t want to rouse him. He’s under furs outside with his nanny.”

  I looked up at my brother, into kind blue eyes that had never been anything but, even when they rested on me.

  “Brother,” I whispered.

  “Sister,” he whispered back.

  Bloody hell.

  I was going to weep.

  Right in the grand hall of the Winter Palace, for the first time since I was a wee child, I was going to weep.

  My brother there, tall, handsome, healthy and safe.

  Me with him, perhaps not healthy, but also safe.

  Our ordeal over.

  The relief of it all surged over me and I didn’t know if I could withstand it.

  I needed to escape.

  Immediately.

  Before I could do so, Kristian tore his glove from his hand and lifted it.

  Cupping my cheek, he moved close to me, dipping his face to mine.

  “Franka,” he said softly.

  “I’m glad you’re well,” I forced out in a voice that was not my own. It was hoarse and unpolished.

  He continued to speak in his quiet voice as if he only wished me to hear.

  “It was bad.”

  “It was,” I affirmed, wanting to touch him, to pull him to me, to wrap my arms around him and have him wrap his around me like we did when we were youngsters, before my mother and father put a stop to it.

  Now his voice was gruff. “Sister.”

  “I endured,” I shared the obvious.

  His eyes started to get bright with tears when he replied, “You always did.”

  I delicately cleared my throat and stepped back far enough away from him so his hand dropped.

  “You need to settle your family. Rest. Have some luncheon. We’ll talk more when you’re revived from your journey.”

  I included Brikitta in this invitation and noted she was staring at me like she’d never seen me, or indeed anything like me before.

  “Yes, Franka. Of course,” Kristian said.

  “Ah, they’ve arrived. Excellent.” We heard from behind us and we all turned to the voice to see Queen Aurora moving our way.

  Brikitta and I dropped into curtsies. Kristian bowed.

  “Rise, rise,” Aurora murmured. “Delighted you made it safely, Kristian, Brikitta,” she stated, sweeping them with her glance. “Your room awaits, one of the rooms with a nursery attached. Thus Timofei’s cot also awaits.”

  “Our gratitude, your grace,” Kristian replied.

  “Not at all,” she stated, turning and motioning to a hovering footman. “See them to their rooms and please see that their trunks are brought up and send a maid to them.”

  “Yes, your grace,” the footman replied, doing a slight bow then extending a hand out to Kristian and Brikkita.

  “We’ll sit together later, yes?” Kristian asked as he put his hand to his wife’s elbow.

  “Of course,” I replied. “Pleased you’re all here safe.”

  Brikitta nodded and her eyes skittered away. Kristian gave me a smile and then turned to Brikitta’s maid, “Please would you see how Nanny’s faring with Tim?”

  “Yes, Lord Kristian.”

  She promptly made her way to the front doors.

  Kristian and Brikitta followed the footman.

  Aurora made her way to me.

  “You’re well, Franka?” she asked.

  “Very well, my queen,” I answered.

  “Lovely,” she said and began moving away, declaring, “Much looking forward to your lively discourse at dinner.”

  I stood still and stared after her.

  Then I felt the mirth bubble up my throat and only just managed to swallow it down.

  I barely said anything at dinner. During the first dinner I’d been commanded to attend once I was well enough to do so, this was because I had no intention to. Last night it was because the conversation was so fast and furious between the men and women, I couldn’t get a word in.

  I had a feeling that was my queen’s subtle way of telling me to fit my words in.

  She really shouldn’t press for that. There was much surprising me recently and most of it had to do with my own behavior.

  Therefore even I didn’t know what would happen.

  * * * * *

  It was surprisingly not me who caused a stir at dinner that evening.

  It was my always mild-mannered brother.

  This happened promptly after I informed him, once he and his family left the Winter Palace, I was journeying with Josette and our new acquisition across the Green Sea.

  He was my dinner partner, sitting to my right, and I thought we had a cocoon of privacy thus it was safe to share this information without others inputting their opinions.

  Until he shouted, “Have you gone mad?”

  “Kristian,” I murmured, shocked at his reaction, including the shee
r volume of it, and acutely aware of all eyes coming to us, particularly Noc’s, who was sitting directly across the table from me, his dinner partner Brikitta.

  “The very idea is daft, Franka,” my brother bit out (still loudly). “I’ll not allow it.”

  My surprise faded and I felt my jaw tighten.

  He’d not allow it?

  Kristian would not allow me to do something I wished to do?

  It was not I who had gone mad. It was him.

  No. That was inaccurate.

  The entire world had gone mad all around me, taking me with it.

  My parents were imprisoned, never to breathe free again.

  I was being kind to my maid, asking her to call me my given name and calling upon her to make decisions on matters of great import, like who was going to attend my person and my clothing and my bedchamber.

  I was allowing Noc to interfere in my life at any given moment, these moments chosen by him.

  My cousin Frey liked me. His wife also liked me. Further, their friends liked me.

  Those friends, the female and male ones, had accompanied me on a trying engagement simply in order to be near should I become upset.

  My dead lover’s voice sounded in my head.

  The queen of the entire bloody country had spoken to me like she was my nanny and later teased me like I was a fond friend of her daughter’s she’d known since they were in the schoolroom.

  And worst of all, it seemed I had no control, not a whit, over any of it.

  “What’s this?” Aurora queried.

  I opened my mouth to intervene in hopes I could get my brother to remain silent, but he spoke before I could make a sound.

  “My sister wishes to journey across the Green Sea,” he declared. “She intends to leave right after Brikitta and I depart for home, your grace.”

  Queen Aurora assumed a severe expression. “Franka, is this true?”

  I clenched my teeth, managed not to grind them and turned my torso to face the head of the table.

  “Yes, my queen.”

  “She won’t be doing it,” Kristian railed on, looking from Aurora to me. “If you don’t wish to return to your apartments after you’ve lost Antoine, which his understandable, Sister, then you’ll travel back with Brikitta and me. You can stay with us until you’ve made a sane decision about where you wish to go next. Hell, you can stay with us for good, as far as I care. The house is big enough and I know you like it, no matter what you’ve said.”

  Brikitta made a noise during my brother’s latest that I deciphered as fear and panic, and I found myself intervening not only on my behalf but on hers as well.

  “Brother, you know that’s not a good idea. I’m much better living on my own,” I replied swiftly, wishing I didn’t have to and further wishing that such private matters weren’t being shared in public.

  But again having no choice.

  “You’ll turn over a new leaf,” he sniffed, looking to his consommé and dipping his spoon into it, stating, “And that’s a matter sorted.”

  “It is not,” I retorted, doing my all to keep the snap out of my voice and not exactly succeeding. “I’m quite keen on my plan and have no intention to alter it.”

  Kristian rudely dropped his spoon in his consommé and turned back to me. “I believe you’ll change your mind when the pirates board your vessel.”

  “No pirates will board the vessel,” I scoffed.

  “Tell that to the many sailors who never returned, who likely felt the same before the pirates boarded their vessels,” Kristian retorted.

  “Merchants make that journey often,” I replied.

  “Merchants try to make that journey often,” Kristian responded and didn’t allow me time to counter. He looked to Frey. “What say you, Drakkar? How many go and how many come back?”

  Frey was looking amused, which I was certain made me look annoyed since I felt that but didn’t feel like hiding it, as he answered, “I’d like to say the stakes are fifty-fifty. But I’d wager it’s more like thirty-seventy.”

  I blew out an exasperated breath before I asked my cousin, “Have you been across those waters?”

  “Yes,” he answered.

  “How many times?” I inquired.

  “Twice,” he stated.

  I sat back in my chair smugly. “Then I’d say the stakes are far better than thirty-seventy, surely.”

  “I’m a good seaman,” Frey retorted. “I’m handy with a variety of blades. Not to mention bows. My men are arguably better than me…at both. My ship is fast. And I have less scruples than a pirate when it comes to saving my men and my necks.” His lips formed a slow, superior grin. “Oh, and there’s the small fact I command dragons.”

  I huffed and took up my spoon, requesting, “Can we please move on from this topic? I’m sure we all agree it’s no one’s business but my own.”

  “My sister taking, at best, a fifty percent chance with her life to cross an expanse of water only to perhaps best that challenge, if she’s fortunate, to arrive in lands most of us know nothing about?” Kristian asked, his tone dripping in disbelief. “I think it’s anyone’s duty to talk her out of such foolhardiness.”

  I didn’t even attempt to keep the snap out of my, “It’s not foolhardy.”

  “It is,” Kristian returned heatedly. “Sheer folly. And reckless. And, frankly, absurd.”

  It was me who rudely dropped my spoon in my consommé as my voice rose when I demanded, “How dare you!”

  “I dare very easily when I’ve finally gotten my sister back only for her to decide to do something rash and idiotic that might make me lose her again,” he replied.

  I snapped my mouth shut as my throat completely closed at his words in a way it was a miracle I didn’t immediately start gasping for air.

  “You’re going to come home with us,” Kristian decided. “You’re going to get to know my wife and my son and the child my wife now carries once he or she comes,” he went on and my gaze flew to Brikitta who was now blushing.

  But my brother had not finished.

  “And if you don’t, you’ll be somewhere near, the furthest away Fleuridia, so you can visit us or we can visit you. I’ll hear no more talk about your ridiculous impulses. In fact, I’m determined you return with us. It’s clear with all you’ve endured recently your mind isn’t right and you need time to get it right again.”

  I had many cutting retorts on the tip of my tongue.

  But the new Franka turned her gaze to her sister-in-law and inquired, “You’re with child?”

  “I…” more blushing from Brikitta, “yes.”

  “I’m pleased for you, sister. Very.”

  Her eyes grew large.

  “As for you,” I looked back to my brother, “we’ll finish this discussion later.”

  “We won’t, for the discussion is already finished,” he decreed.

  “It is not.”

  “It is.”

  “It is not.”

  “It is so.”

  “Not!” I cried.

  “So!” he shot back.

  I heard laughter erupt all around us but through it I also heard Queen Aurora’s shuddering with amusement (shuddering!) command of, “Franka, no more talk of this nonsense. Kristian is right. Your plans are far too risky and you’ve decided them at a time when you’re vulnerable to making poor decisions. I forbid you to cross the Green Sea. At least for a year. Should you continue to wish to do so, perhaps it can be discussed again after that time.”

  I stared at my sovereign, speechless.

  The Queen of Lunwyn was not speechless.

  She carried on.

  “Your choices are to return to your brother’s home with your family or journey with me to Rimée Keep. With Frey, my Finnie and my wee Viktor off to Bellebryn, I’ll be quite alone and you’ll be lovely company.”

  I would be lovely company?

  Me?

  I remained speechless.

  Aurora did not.

  “You have unti
l Kristian and Brikitta depart five days hence to make your decision. Now,” she looked around the table, “that’s done. Allow us to toast Kristian and Brikitta’s lovely news and move on from sibling squabbles.”

  She picked up her wineglass and all followed, including me. When a queen toasted, you didn’t demur.

  But I was fuming because, apparently, the unexpected end to my parents’ years of torment caused me to be uncertain of my feelings and my future and my entire bloody nature and grow soft. However it caused my brother to grow a backbone. Not to mention an open willingness to engage in inappropriateness by drawing me into what could be described as none other than what the queen had deemed it.

  A sibling bloody squabble.

  At the royal bloody dinner table.

  I sipped my wine, ignoring the smiles all around that I was sure had something to do with the fact my brother’s family was growing, but more to do with mirth at my brother and my antics.

  Thus I did this frowning.

  However, I noted the only one not seeming to have enjoyed our display was Noc. He was not smiling. He was regarding me intently.

  When I caught his eyes, he mouthed, “All right?”

  “Fine,” I mouthed back.

  He continued studying me before he nodded.

  “I do hope,” Aurora called out as everyone resumed eating, and I looked to her to see her attention set on Brikitta, “that your wee Timofei was able to get a good nap in this afternoon. Prior to Franka taking her maid shopping, she was quite thorough in addressing the servants to request that they practice quiet around your rooms as your wee one has been having trouble sleeping recently.”

  By the goddess Adele, were my cheeks flaming?

  Brikitta’s eyes darted to me and they were again large.

  Yes, my cheeks were flaming.

  Blast!

  “A phase, I’m sure,” Aurora went on. “He’ll stop fretting and return to good sleep soon, mark my words.”

  “I say, Franka,” Kristian began after the queen finished, speaking in my ear. “It’s too strange, gazing upon this gentleman who’s the vision of Prince Noctorno. Uncanny. I’m glad the prince has a scar or I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.”

  I turned my head and blasted my brother with an icy glare, stating without words I, unlike he, was not over our very recent spat.