Heaven's Loss (Hell Yeah!)

by Sable Hunter

  “You’d think.” He laughed and moved forward to help her, giving her a kiss while he was there. “Let’s clean this up and I’ll buy you a breakfast sandwich on the way to the ranch.”

  “At least I didn’t mess up the crock pot meal. It looks good,” Seren murmured as she swept up the flour from the floor.

  Canyon peeped into the pot. “It looks fantastic and it smells even better.”

  This seemed to pacify Seren who patted her powdered hair. “Thanks. I apologize for making such a mess.”

  Chuckling as he wiped down the cabinets, Canyon reassured her, “Don’t be. I appreciate you trying. And this was funny as hell. I can’t believe you said a bad word. Aren’t you afraid a lightning bolt is going to strike you from the blue?”

  Now, Seren laughed. “Damn isn’t really a bad word and I was frustrated. Doing things here requires much more coordination than using mental telepathy in the spiritual realm. I’m truly out of my element.” After sweeping the mess into the dust pan, she emptied it. “Let me go change clothes again. I’ll be quick.”

  Without looking back at him, she took off, leaving Canyon to wait. Once he was alone, he stood at the sink and stared out into the woods behind his house. “Funny. Everything looks normal.” The sun was shining. The grass was green. The wind blew gently causing a few leaves to fall to the ground. His gaze moved up to stare at several wispy clouds as they floated across the sky.

  Reaching for a glass, he filled it with water from the tap and took a drink. “I wasn’t dreaming last night. I really saw what I thought I saw.” He shook his head, marveling at this monumental revelation and what it meant. First off, everything he thought he knew, he now knew was wrong. There were angels. There was a heaven – which meant, there was a God. More importantly, it meant his son’s spirit survived somewhere in the universe. And…he could see him again one day. This epiphany gave him a deep and lasting sense of peace.

  Second, and on a completely different note – there was Seren. Beautiful Seren. He no longer could doubt her claims. She was the real deal. Wings and all. And yet…she was warm and alive. Soft and touchable. Sweet and kissable. Everything he’d ever desired in a woman. Kind. Funny. Wise beyond imagination. Sexy beyond belief. And she wanted – him! She made no bones about the fact that he, Canyon Brady, was the center of her world.

  What in the hell was he supposed to do with that?

  Every cell in his body demanded he take her. Possess her. Claim her.

  She wouldn’t resist – he knew that without a doubt.

  But…did that make it right?

  So many questions clawed in his brain. Questions he needed to be answered.

  “I’m ready.”

  Her gentle voice broke Canyon’s daze. “Oh, good.” He flipped the slow cooker off, then took two dishcloths in hand to remove the interior pot and store it in the fridge for later. “We’ll warm this up when we come home. Don’t want to start a fire.”

  “Good idea.” She tugged on the hem of one of the new tops he’d bought for her. “Do I look okay?”

  Seeing her uncertainty, he melted. “You look gorgeous. You always look gorgeous.” He admired the pink lacy top paired with the soft faded blue jeans. “Come on. Let’s go.” He held out his hand and she happily took it, walking beside him toward the door. Before he knew what was happening, she edged ahead of him and went out, looking all around. “What are you doing?” he asked, knowing full well what she up to.

  “Checking for danger.”

  He grasped her upper arm and squeezed gently. “Sweetness, your heart is brave. But if you haven’t noticed you’re a creampuff. On the other hand,” Canyon muttered as he stepped in front of her and went into a standard weightlifter pose, “I am mighty and I will protect us both.”

  Seren moved a bit closer to him to do something any red-blooded American girl would do – she felt his muscles. “That you are. I’ve always admired your body. You are very handsome.” She blushed. “Of course, that information seems to mean something different to me than it did before.”

  Yea, Canyon was fishing. “In what way?” Every man loved compliments on his body, but he wanted to hear from Seren’s lips how she felt about him.

  “Umm.” Seren looked up at him. “Since I, uh, materialized and became real…”

  “You’ve always been real.”

  “I have.” His adamant assertion filled Seren with joy. “My feelings for you have magnified. I still want to shelter and protect you…but I’m also incredibly attracted to you.” She glanced down, placing a hand on her chest. “My body and heart want you.” She inched a bit closer to him until they were almost touching. “I ache to be one with you. All of my adoration and concern for you has coalesced into this…hunger.”

  When she licked her lips Canyon almost went to his knees. “I share your hunger.”

  She gave him a sweet smile. “So…we can have sex?”

  Sex? God, yes. He wanted to say. “That’s what we need to talk about.” He took her by her arm and led her on to his truck. A squirrel sat nearby chattering his displeasure at their intrusion into his nut gathering.

  “Phooey.” Seren pouted a little as they climbed in to leave. After fastening her own seat belt, she watched him fasten his. “Don’t pull the shoulder strap down under your arm like you’ve done in the past. If you crashed you could be thrown from the vehicle.”

  Canyon grumbled but did as she asked. “Fine.” He adjusted the belt. “Happy?”

  She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “To be with you. Always.” She gave him a saucy little wink. “But I could be happier if you’d do me.”

  Shaking his head, Canyon laughed as he started the truck and headed to town. “You’re killing me. You know that, right?”

  She placed a soothing hand on his arm. “I don’t mean to. While I’m here with you, I want to experience the ultimate blessing of being human. Love.”

  “Love?” Canyon swallowed a bit of emotion. “I thought we were talking about sex.” He pushed aside the tugging sensation in his chest at the notion she might not be here with him much longer.

  Seren shrugged. “Sex is supposed to be an expression of love.”

  Canyon shifted gears and took a deep breath. “I want to tell you something. I’ve never had a conversation like this with a woman I wanted to bed.”

  “I know. Together, we’re different.” Seren nodded, smiling at his admission. “Now, what did you want to talk about?”

  Shifting uneasily in his seat, Canyon kept his eye on the road ahead of him. Everything looked so normal. The spreading oak trees he’d passed every day for years still looked the same. The glimpses of the Guadalupe he could see as it meandered next to the road were as familiar as the back of his hand. Yet…what he was about to say was so fantastic, he bit the inside of his jaw to make sure he was awake. “You said yourself that you don’t know how long you’re going to be here with me like this.”

  “That’s right.” Seren felt a spear of sorrow shaft through her chest. “I’m torn about it too. I love being tangible with you. I also worry that I can’t protect you like I should in this state.”

  Canyon shook his head. “Don’t worry about that part. I can take care of myself.”

  Seren snorted. “Yea, right. If you knew how many times I’ve kept you from harm, you’d never go out of the house again.”

  He rolled his eyes at her. “Back to my questions. So, you have free will?” What a question to ask. Part of Canyon’s brain still rebelled at the crazy situation.

  “For the most part, yes. I’ve never tested the theory, I know nothing other than being obedient.”

  “If we sleep together and you have to return to your…duties, won’t you get into trouble?”

  “Ah.” Seren understood his concern. “Maybe. I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. Sex is only a sin when it is used to hurt other people. To make them jealous. Done against their will. In its proper context, intimacy is the closest thing people can know of heaven on Earth.�
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  He’d always loved sex. Craved sex. He also knew there was no pain greater than being betrayed by sex. “Okay. I’ve never thought about it like that, but you’re making sense. So, this wouldn’t be wrong for you?”

  She laughed wryly. “I’m sure I’d get a few demerits, but…they chose to make me human for now. For some reason I’m here with you. I have to believe these feelings were created and given to me for a purpose. Expressing how I feel about you in such a magnificent and beautiful way can’t be wrong.”

  Hearing her impassioned words, he only took a moment to make sure he was thinking with the right head. “All right. You’ve convinced me. I can’t resist you. Tonight, we make love.”

  “Yay! Yes!” She pumped her fist in the air. “I can’t wait!”

  Her exuberance made Canyon happy and he laughed with joy. “Me either. I like being with you, Seren, and I’m going to love making love with you.” He’d been alone so long, he hadn’t even realized he was lonely.

  A few seconds later they made it into town, he did as he’d promised and turned into a drive-thru. After purchasing two breakfast sandwiches and drinks, he headed toward Tebow. “Good?” he asked as he watched her bite into the cheesy biscuit.

  “Yummy,” she acknowledged, nodding her head.

  “Here.” He laid his sandwich on his knee and reached across to brush a crumb from the corner of her mouth. “You’re so cute.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad you think so.” After swallowing the bite, she glanced at him. “Did it scare you when you saw me transfigured?”

  “No. Not at all.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “I was in awe.”

  “I wasn’t aware I had any vestiges of glory left.” She sighed. “As far as I can tell, I’m fully human.”

  He took her hand. “That’s not a bad thing at all. I’m grateful you’re here. I wanted to believe you for many reasons. I lost whatever faith I had when Matty died. You gave it back to me. I also wanted to believe in you. Being attracted to you when I thought you might be…ill was uncomfortable for me. I wouldn’t hurt you for the world.”

  “I know. I’ve always known what a good man you are.” She winked at him. “I know all your secrets.”

  He chuckled, feeling happy. “I don’t mind. I want to know all of yours too.”

  She spread her hands. “I’m an open book. Ask me anything.”

  While they drove the rest of the way to Tebow, Canyon let his imagination run wild. “Tell me what heaven is like.”

  “Well, it’s nice.” She gave him a cocky grin. “More like earth than you’d think. Just more perfect. Nice weather. The flowers never fade. The grass never dies. Nobody sits on clouds and plays harps.”

  “So, no golden streets? No pearly gate?”

  Seren laughed. “Pearly gate? Yes. The golden street is a metaphor, teaching how gold means no more in heaven than the dirt under our feet means here.”

  “Wow. Huh.” He thought about it a minute, then couldn’t resist asking. “So, what kind of things does Matty do?” His heart lurched at what she might say.

  “Well, he’s with people who love him. Your mother especially. He plays. He’s happy. He goes to school…”

  “What?” Canyon exclaimed. “What kind of heaven has school?”

  Seren giggled at the terrified expression on Canyon’s face. “People work in heaven too. They have jobs. Go figure.”

  “Sounds more like the other place if you ask me.”

  “Actually…” she began, then pointed to the side of the road. “Hey, isn’t that Cruz walking down the road?”

  “Looks like it.”

  “Stop and pick him up,” Seren said as she rolled down the window. “Hey, Cruz! Do you need a ride?”

  Canyon frowned, but pulled over to check on the young ranch hand.

  “Hey! Thanks. Appreciate it.” Cruz opened the back door of the double cab truck and crawled inside. “My dang truck broke down. I didn’t want to be late for work.”

  “Glad to do it,” Seren told him, glancing at their passenger over her shoulder. “At least it’s a nice day for a walk.”

  “Yea, would have been nicer with company.”

  When Cruz winked at Seren, Canyon felt his blood pressure rise. “Maybe you should consider getting a dog.”

  Picking up on Canyon’s emotions, Seren studied his face, a tiny furrow between her brows.

  From the back seat, Cruz was oblivious to Canyon’s reaction. “Good idea, Mr. Brady.” So…” He pointed between them. “How long will your daughter be visiting?”

  Daughter? Canyon visibly bristled. “I’m not her father.”

  Seren placed a calming hand on Canyon’s arm as she spoke to Cruz, “I belong to Canyon. I’m his girlfriend.”

  “Oh, hell. I see.” Cruz held up his hands and chuckled. “Sorry, bud. Didn’t mean to tread on your territory. You’ve got good taste. Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

  “Actually. I can.” Canyon eyed him in the rearview mirror, passing on a volume of warnings. “Watch yourself.”

  “Message received, big guy.” He looked out the window. “I’m just going through something myself, seems like I’m always looking for a distraction.”

  “Seren’s not a distraction,” Canyon stated, reinforcing his point of her importance.

  “Do you need some help, Cruz?” Seren asked him. “I’m a good listener.”

  “Maybe. Someday.” The young man pushed his long hair from his shoulder. “We’re here,” he announced as they drove under the Tebow sign. “Thanks for the ride. I need to hurry and meet Aron. We’re taking some cattle to the sale barn today.”

  Canyon didn’t respond to Cruz’s comment. He parked in his regular spot and held Seren’s arm as the other man climbed out, shut the door, and went on his way.

  “Did I do something wrong, Canyon?” Seren asked as she sat still, letting him detain her.

  “Yea.” He unfastened her seat belt and hauled her against him. “You’re irresistible. Sweet. Reckless. Beautiful. Brave.” He punctuated each word with a kiss. “And mine. Mine. Mine.”

  Seren accepted each caress of his mouth with absolute joy. When the torrent of passion subsided and he held her tight, she stroked his neck. “I’ll try to do better.” Following a compelling urge, she nipped his strong neck. “Tonight. Okay?”

  “You do that.” Canyon cradled her close, wondering how he was going to survive this onslaught of feelings. It had been so long since he knew anything but sorrow and the struggle to get through the day, he didn’t know how to handle these tender emotions. “All right. Let’s get out of here before somebody near and catches us again.”

  “I don’t mind.” She gave him one last hug, then held out her arms for Canyon to lift her to the ground. “What’s on the agenda for the day?”

  “Work and more work,” he told her with a smirk as he raised his hand in greeting to Jacob and Noah McCoy. “You just find some place comfortable to rest and look pretty while I get busy.”

  Of course, Seren didn’t do what Canyon asked. She didn’t sit still, she shadowed him, staying out of his way but ready to lend a helping hand when the opportunity arose.

  To Canyon’s surprise, she made work fun. Seren didn’t get in his way, she seemed to know when to back off and when to be Johnny-on-the-spot if he needed her. As the day progressed, his cheeks began to ache from smiling. The woman was witty, loving, and funny as heck. “So, what did you do?” he asked, amused at the tale she was telling about learning how to fly.

  “Like a baby bird, the elders use reinforcement and reward. They stood by while we jumped off this tall spire, ready to swoop in and save the day before one of us splatted on the ground.”

  “What was the reward?” He recalled Seren’s beautiful wings and imagined how majestic she must be in flight.

  “Everyone who made a successful figure eight and landed on their feet were allowed to speak to anyone they wanted.”

  Seeing her dreamy-eyed look Canyon felt another flash of
jealousy. “Who did you pick? Clark Gable? Casanova? Elvis?”

  “Oh…Elvis. Good one.” She snapped her fingers. “Dang it. I wish I’d thought of him. He’s still singing like a dream with the angelic choir as his back-up band.” His expression of disquiet made Seren giggle. “Instead, I picked Jeanne d’Arc, the Maid of Orleans.”

  “Oh, Joan of Arc. Why?” he muttered as he plunged a red-hot piece of metal into the tank of oil to quench.

  “I was about to commit my entire existence into the act of caring for someone.” She waltzed up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “You.” When he made a grab for her, she whirled out of his reach, giving him a come-hither glance. “I wanted to connect with someone who loved others so much she would sacrifice herself for them.”

  Canyon took a quick break, mainly to watch Seren sweeping, sashaying around the shop with the broom. “Well, what was she like?”

  “Brave. Beautiful. Fierce.”

  “Well, you patterned yourself after her just fine. Those words certainly describe you.”

  His praise made her beam. “They burned her as a witch, you know. She really died a martyr’s death. Not many people can see angels, but she could. She was just a regular peasant girl when the archangel Michael came to her. He saw something unique in Jeanne. Something he could use. With his guidance, Jeanne d’Arc led an army to protect her country.”

  “I seem to remember something about her from school.” His recollection of history was fuzzy. Probably because he couldn’t keep from eating her up with his eyes. She moved like a dream and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on her.

  Seren stopped and leaned on her broom. “Michael told her she could do anything, but her strength wouldn’t be her own.”

  “What did she tell you?” Yes, there were times when he couldn’t quite believe what was coming out of his mouth.

  “She told me she didn’t regret a moment of her life. Or her death.” Seren smiled. “She wasn’t any bigger than me. Yet, she commanded an army and stood up to her accusers unafraid.”

  The idea of Seren facing such danger made Canyon’s blood run cold. He leaned against his worktable. “Doesn’t make sense, does it?”