Thoughts from the Rock
Page 5
As Anne sat there, she stared at the curtains. Every time she studied them, she swore she discovered a new flower she hadn’t before. Today, she noticed a small pink budded rose just along the edge of the curtain. It seemed to bloom in direction of the sunshine trying its hardest to shine in through the edge of the window where the curtain didn’t quite fit to fully close out the light. As she admired the rose for some time, a nurse came in to let her know it was time for her to be moved back to her bed. Anne made eye contact with the nurse, the first time in months. She managed to mumble something that sounded similar to the word ‘please’ and pointed to the curtain.
The nurse, clearly shocked, smiled and brushed her hands on her jersey knit pants. “Well of course! And here I thought you would never see the light of day again!”
Anne knew it was time. The nurse pulled back the curtains, and a bright ray of sunshine immediately flooded the room with light. Anne smiled, closed her eyes, and let the warmth embrace her. She took her last breath… In. And out.
______________________
THE END
IN ITS OWN SWEET TIME
by Becca Tracey
Verse 1:
She said, Grandma
I've been waiting for what seems
Like forever
And it feels like
I'll never
Have a boy who can
Call me his own
Oh, Grandma
I keep going to all
My girlfriends’ weddings
And no boy has asked me
To take his name
Oh, Grandma
Her grandma said
Chorus:
Honey child, it'll happen
In its own sweet time
Ain't gonna happen
A Day before
Ain't gonna happen
By you prayin more
Honey child, it'll happen
In its own sweet time
Verse 2:
Grandma looked at her and said
Honey child, I'll tell you it'll happen
When it'll happen
I wish I had a better answer for you
But sometimes the best things
Are the things that you don't plan
Oh honey child, it'll happen
When it’s supposed to
Just trust that is its own sweet time
It'll happen, honey child
In its own sweet time
*Chorus
Verse 3:
Grandma said, you know some
Get love sooner than others
Then they wish that it didn't happen
Quite so fast
And here you
You are longing for it and
When it finally comes maybe
That'll help you make it last
Oh sometimes it'll feel like
You're waiting forever
Oh sometimes it'll feel like it will never come
Honey child, it'll come when
You least expect it
It's gonna happen
In its own sweet time
*Chorus
Off my drugs
by Becca Tracey
Verse 1:
I wanna have your baby
I take pills to help me be less crazy
And I'm scared because if I wanna have your baby I can't be on all my drugs
Chorus:
Would you hold my hand
So I can go off these drugs I take
I might be a different woman than the one you fell in love with
Could you stand the me
That gets crazy
Having part of you
Growing in me might help me stay sane
Would you still love me
Even if you had to hold
The part of me that's crazy
Verse 2:
My doctor told me
Pregnancy might keep me from losing my mind
But I'm still scared because I've been out of control at times
*Chorus
Verse 3:
Before you and me
I almost died doing some dangerous things you see
And I'm worried what if I fell again into madness or despair
Bridge:
I want a healthy baby more than anything I wanted before and I'll try to be strong but I don't want to do it alone
*Chorus
painting her dreams
by Becca Tracey
Verse 1:
She was down
She could barely eat
All she wanted to do was sleep
People talked she hardly heard
What they said
Her heart was heavy
Her muscles ached
And she knew
She didn't want to feel that way
She tried to think and asked herself
When was the last time I felt happy and free
She thought back until she was in high school
In art class
And she was painting
Painting her dreams
Verse 2:
She was painting shimmering snow
And glistening waters
She was painting flowers
And green grass
She was painting smiling children
And fruit that was too good to eat
On the table with flowers
And she was painting
Painting her dreams
Verse 3:
Other times she painted black on the canvas
And she painted purple and brown
And baby blue
She painted any color that came into
her mind and got it out there for all to see
Oh she was painting
Painting her dreams
Verse 4:
So she got paints and a canvas out
She felt better and she let her emotions
Out on the canvas
And she said I never want to put my paints away
No I never want to put my paints away again
Cause she was painting her dreams
Out on the canvas
Painting what she saw
Out on the canvas
Oh she was painting
Painting her dreams
The sun and the moon
by Leeann Severson
The sun
And the moon
The moon
And the sun
Two hearts
That beat as one
Torn apart
By time and space
They’ll never be
Face to face
Bodies dancing in the sky
Torn by the day and the night
They cast their lights
On their faces
Fastened in
To their places
The moon
And the sun
The sun
And the moon
They’ll never be
They’ll never be
They’ll never be
But they’ll wait
Patiently
Patiently
Bodies dancing in the sky
Torn by the day and the night
They cast their lights
On their faces
Fastened in
To their places
Cast their lights
On their faces
Fastened in
To their places
Cast their lights
On their faces
Fastened in
To their places
You and I
Dancing in the sky
The moon
And the sun
The sun
And the moon
THE CAGE
BY LEEANN SEVERSON
Your hands
Your hands
They open
All that was closed before
Your hands <
br />
Your hands
They’re knocking
Knocking on my door
Your feet
Your feet
Walk on
Mysteries of war
Your feet
Your feet
They’re treading
Softly on my floor
Your finger-tips
Brush
The hair ‘round my
Neck
Your finger-tips
They break
The bones inside my chest
The cage has been opened
And you control the fate
Of all that lies within
My heart
My heart
It’s lying
Lying on the ground
But your ears
Your ears
Don’t like it
When they hear that pumping sound
The cage has been opened
And you control the fate
Of all that lies within
So don’t let me down
So don’t let me down
THE FLARE
BY LEEANN SEVERSON
Do you believe in ghosts?
I’ll tell you that I most
Certainly do not
Though God knows that I have tried
I’ve been charged with the homicide
Of the person I dream to be
So when I’m on the stand
And I raise my right hand
And swear on the Bible and God so help me
Should I tell the truth?
I’ll continue this confession
Of my long lived depression
Though God knows it all too well
I have quite the obsession
I’m possessed by my possessions
But not so much that you could tell
So when I’m on the stand
And I raise my right hand
And swear on the Bible and God so help me
Should I tell the truth?
Should I tell them what I’ve done,
Pick up my pieces and run
Should I tell the truth
Should I tell the truth?
Temporary
I’ll tattoo it on my forehead
So I won’t lose and I won’t forget
Who I am inside
The numbers on your back
Don’t mean that you’ll go far
You can wear a thousand jerseys
And still not know who you are
Oh the time of our lives
Will slip by before we know it
Oh the time of our lives
Is slipping by
And we don’t notice
The time of our lives
Will slip by before we know it
The time of our lives
Is passing by and we don’t notice
I’ll tattoo it on my forehead
So I won’t lose and I won’t forget
Who I am inside
The money that you’ve made
Doesn’t mean that you’ve gone far
You could spend a million dollars
And have no clue who you are
Leeann Severson’s songs can be downloaded for free at the following web addresses:
https://soundcloud.com/leeann-severson/the-cage-original
https://soundcloud.com/leeann-severson/sun-and-the-moon-original-take
https://soundcloud.com/leeann-severson/flare-original
non-fiction by emily polglaze
When you’re 18, you’re supposed to feel like an adult with the world ahead of you right? And you go off to college, start your own life and become an independent person, isn’t that the way? Well what happens when your plans don’t work out and you’re only left with one option: moving back home?
My college experience started out as more of a nightmare than anything. Less than 24 hours after moving in, I was calling my parents telling them how lost I felt, and that despite my feeling like an idiot for thinking so, I needed to come home. This has got to be one of the worst decisions some kids have to make. I was supposed to be doing my own thing, finding myself, being a real adult. However I found myself back in my bedroom, amidst all of my childhood memories, feeling like an overgrown kid riding a carousel of uncertainty.
Needless to say, my parents were not entirely happy about the move either. They thought I was off to the college of my dreams and that the last thing I would want to do was come home. They had moved nearly all of my belongings two hours away only to move them back in the blink of an eye. Even though they only wanted me to be happy, and were thrilled to be saving on the hefty $40,000 tuition, they thought I was too smart and capable to be spending my precious time in my less than productive hometown.
My semester home has been filled with its own ups and downs. Unfortunately when I applied to colleges, I thought that the one I chose was an absolute fit for me. So much so that I did not even apply anywhere else. This was my first mistake. Had I actually applied other places I probably would have been able to attend for the fall semester, but instead I was stuck, three days before classes at most colleges started, with nowhere to go.
I was given two choices, go to school or get a job. Even though I could use the extra money now, I opted to take classes at the college I am at now. It’s a good school, but the limited availability at the time of my enrollment meant little class selection, and I’m only able to attend part-time. I’m taking three classes that I like a lot, but seeing everyone from high school I hoped to never see again in the halls is a little irritating. I’m definitely not in the most ideal situation when it comes to schooling, but it’s good enough for now. My family has supported me throughout the semester, and I feel better knowing than I won’t have extreme debt for at least one college semester that I attended.
At home, it has been quite the learning experience. Even though I’m living at home, I’m trying to be independent, and do things that I didn’t do in high school. I’ve found a happy medium in it all. I try to help my parents out around the house as much as I can, and I do my own laundry and cleaning to save them the hassle. However, my inner adult is beginning to come through. Even though I’m more than grateful to my parents for letting me come home, I’m starting to realize that it’s time for me to leave the nest. I love my parents, but sometimes as they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Even though I respect my parents’ wishes, I feel 12 again, constantly being asked to clean my room and do chores. Even though these are things I will always have to do, no matter where I live, a part of me just really wants to have my own space, to make as messy as I want, without anybody having anything to say about it.
Nearing the end of the semester, my feelings are pretty mixed. I don’t really want to stay, but at the same time, being at home comes so easily. The calm of familiarity is a lot simpler to deal with than the craziness of the unknown.
As much as I tend to get annoyed with being treated like a kid at home, it’s an experience you could never replace. Sometimes the last place I want to be is at home, but this has given my parents the ability to trust me and respect me in a way they couldn’t before. I think in some ways I have become even more independent than I could have if I were away. The house is all my own while they’re working, so I have had to do a lot more to take care of it and keep it the way they would want. In high school, I was gone all day, so I had little chance to do things for myself around the house. Also, I get to spend time with others members of my family that I wouldn’t get to if I were away at another college. These are memories you could never replace. And even though my hometown is less than appealing to me most days, this is where everything is comfortable for me. My friends are here, my family is here, and as long as they’re around, anything seems better than before. Without their support throughout this difficult period in my life, I don’t know how I would have made it. One call from my grandparents or a lunch date with my friends makes it all seem worth it.
More and more students are coming home, whether it be after graduation, or for a semester to ease their mind from the pressures of school. In my experience, though, I wouldn’t tell anyone not to do it. There’s a bit of shame that comes with moving home. Kind of like, “I really can’t take care of myself at 18? Really?” But there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Coming home is one of the more independent things one can do. It says you know yourself well enough to know that you need help, and aren’t afraid to say so. If I would have stayed in that small, blank dorm in Chicago, I’m fairly certain I would’ve had emotional breakdown by now. I did, and still do feel like a bit of a failure, but I know that there’s nowhere else I should, or would rather be at the moment.
The best thing about home is that it is the most permanent, or least permanent place, depending on how you choose it to be. But it’s always home. You can always go home and know that everything is the same as you left it. You can stay one semester, or for several years, but it’s still the same place, with probably the same people.
I know it’s time for me to move on, and I’ll probably be leaving home for good in a couple months, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I’m more ready than I was before. I feel like I could actually take care of myself if I was on my own, but my semester at home has shaped the rest of my educational career. I had a little extra time to prepare, to explore, and to adjust. I know I’m going to be just fine.
“The chosen one”
by Courtney Gies
I woke up in a daze, familiar to this feeling since I had been getting little to no sleep the past few months. My senior year of high school was dwindling down and the stress of finding the right college next year was weighing heavy on my conscious. I looked at my phone and sprung out of bed, 7:45! Shit, I thought, I'm going to be late again. Mr. Evan had been on my case lately about being late, even though I had a decent grade in his class apparently coming in two minutes late is a huge disruption.
I walked over to my wooden dresser, still rubbing last night’s sleep from my brown eyes. I pulled out one of my favorite sweaters, a white one my Nana had bought me from New York last Spring. I had this thought that every time I wore this sweater my day had to go perfectly.
I pulled out some dark denim jeans, slipped on my moccasins and quickly went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I even had five minutes to spare. Not too bad, I thought to myself. I made my way downstairs, and took a quick glance in the mirror to assure my appearance was at least presentable. “Mornin' mom!” I yelled, but received no response. Before getting offended I noticed she was on the phone. “So you haven't seen her at all? She didn't come home last night,” I heard her say. Great, my sister Olivia was out gallivanting all night with her boyfriend again. Ever since she got kicked out of college she’s been doing nothing but causing headaches for my family.