by Bella Jewel
“But what’s worse, is allowing that to happen,” I point at the newspaper she was obviously reading. “You told him about Malakai, you fed the weakest parts of him knowing he’d react. You publicly humiliated me. It may not have been directly, but you as good as wrote that article, because you knew exactly what would happen when you ran to him. That is not the actions of a mother that loves her child, or even has respect for her child. You don’t deserve me, not while you’re like this. Daddy loves you, but sometimes I wonder why. Maybe he sees something I don’t, all the same, I am done being treated poorly.”
Her mouth opens to say something, but I raise a hand.
“I’m your daughter, and I have wanted so long to just feel like you love me enough, just as I am. But you don’t. I deserve you to. So, I’m going to start doing what’s best for me. I’m going to turn around now, and walk out. I want you gone when I get back. I said it before, and I meant it, I love you. If you want to be in my life, I hope you take in these words, and you find a way to give me what I need. If not, well, I guess I never ever mattered as much as I should have.”
With that, I turn and walk out of my apartment.
For the first time, I don’t cry.
I don’t break down.
I don’t feel guilt.
I did the right thing. I did what was best for me.
It’s about damned time.
-12-
MALAKAI
Anger.
Rage.
Horror.
I stare at the picture in front of me, of the man that claims he’s Amalie’s boyfriend, a man that claims she caused an accident and ruined his life. A man that is stuck at home, crippled and broken, while she’s out blending with bikers and going on tour. A good three quarters of my body is rebelling against the idea, there is just no way she could be so cold. No way.
I couldn’t have read her that wrong.
She’s so fucking sweet, so fucking pure, how in the hell is it possible that all this time she has been running around behind her boyfriend’s back, leaving him in a carer’s hands while she carries on with her life? It doesn’t seem right, but if it isn’t, then why the fuck didn’t she just say that to me? Why, when I looked her in the eyes, and asked her if it was real, did she not simply say no?
Fucking no.
That’s all she had to say, but she didn’t.
She didn’t because it’s true.
It’s fucking true.
I put my fucking soul into her, only to find out that she’s a god damned liar.
Fuck.
God dammit.
“Prez,” Maverick says, bursting into my room.
“I’m fuckin’ busy,” I roar. “What the fuck do you want, Maverick?”
He glares at me. “Get it, bro. Believe me when I say I get it. Fuckin’ hurts, like a hot knife to the guts, but I wouldn’t interrupt you if I didn’t think it was important.”
“What is it?” I grate out through clenched teeth.
“Charlie’s gone missin’.”
“What do you mean she’s gone missin’? How can she go missin’? She’s probably looking further into the business for us and hasn’t been seen.”
“She hasn’t been seen for two days, since she was last here. She went back in, we had eyes on her, and then she disappeared. Nobody has seen her come or go to her unit, nothin’. She’s gone.”
“So she did a fuckin’ runner?” I growl, the blood coursing through my veins are making my head feel like it’s going to explode. “I told you that bitch was no good.”
“I don’t think she’s done a runner,” Koda says, walking into the room, clearly having overheard our conversation. “Mason said there were people sniffin’ around her apartment, a bunch of men went in, came out with some shit. Lookin’ for somethin’. Probably evidence of us. If I’m correct, and fuck, I usually am, I’d say our man has got her.”
God. Fuckin’. Dammit. “Trey?”
Maverick and Koda both nod.
“Yeah, Trey. She’s been askin’ questions, obviously the wrong kinds and it must have gotten back to him. He figured it out, and he took her, fuck knows what he’s doin’ to her, but I imagine he’ll send her back as a message to us,” Koda growls. “Probably beaten to a fuckin’ pulp, or worse.”
“We gotta find this fucker, can’t wait any longer,” Maverick growls. “It’s gettin’ dangerous. He’s goin’ to strike and take us all down if we don’t do somethin’ soon.”
“What the fuck do you want me to do?” I roar, slamming my fists down on the bench. “Tryin’ to find the piece of shit and having no luck. You wanted to put eyes and ears on the ground, and he figured it out. Can’t fuckin’ take down someone I can’t find.”
“One good thing we know out of this,” Koda says, eyes icy, “he’s close, he’s just doin’ a good job at hidin’.”
“He can continue to hide,” I growl, standing and shoving my chair back. “But I’m done fuckin’ hidin’. I’m goin’ to go in, guns blazin’, until that piece of shit comes out. From now on, we go bold, we make a scene, and we let him know we mean business.”
“How do you want to do that?” Maverick grins.
“Bring me some fuckin’ junkies, I’ll kill every one of them until I get a name, a location, or a dealer that works close to him. I’m done playin’ nice.”
“He’s back,” Koda smirks. “’Bout time, Prez.”
“Get me some men. I need to make somethin’ bleed.”
Both men turn and leave the room.
I take hold of my desk, and I launch it across the room so hard it slams into the wall. I let out an angry bellow.
Fuck this.
Fuck Treyton.
Fuck Amalie.
Fuck it all.
I’m done playing nice.
~*~*~*~
AMALIE
I hesitantly walk down the hall at the club toward Malakai’s office. Mason told me it was probably not a good idea, followed by Boston who told me it really wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t hold back. I need to speak with him. I need to tell him the full story. If he still hates me then I won’t argue any further, but he needs to know I didn’t lie, not in the way he thinks.
I reach his door and push it open, deciding not to knock. When I step in, my heart skips a beat when I see a pretty blond straddling him on his office chair. They’re both fully clothed, for now, but I imagine minutes later, they wouldn’t have been. He moved on that fast? Jealousy, like a raging fire, ignites in my belly and I stare, so hurt and so horrified by the scene before me.
His hands are on her ass, and he’s grinding her against him. She’s whimpering, tiny hands on his big shoulders, and I know it’s a scene I won’t get out of my head any time soon. It hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced in my life. Pain radiates through my chest, and my hurt turns into anger, wild, wild anger.
It’s as if a door has been unlatched, a door I’ve kept locked for so long. Soft, sweet Amalie. A pushover. The woman everyone pushes around. I’m tired of it. So damned tired of it. I’ll always be soft, my heart big, but I am not going to keep living this life of being too afraid to say what I think, or feel.
So I step forward, and in a voice stronger than I’ve ever used, I order, “Get out.”
The woman jerks and spins around, and Malakai’s eyes meet mine over her shoulders. He looks surprised, but he quickly wipes the mask away with a cold expression, an angry one. He can be angry. That’s fine. I’m going to be angry now, too. We can fight this one out until it’s resolved.
“See I’m busy,” he murmurs, eyes challenging mine, a darkness behind them I never noticed before.
Malakai can be dangerous.
Right now, I’m even more so.
“Get out, or so help me God, I will come over there and drag you out by your hair. The choice is yours.”
The woman gapes at me, but I hold strong. My stance. My expression. My scalding glare. She slides off his lap and mumbles something to him before sauntering out the door.
It’s clear she really doesn’t care, she’ll probably skip straight into the next room and find someone else to ride.
In the meantime, I look to Malakai.
He stands, walking toward me, face angry. He looks terrifying when he stalks toward me like this. He’s like a hungry lion. A very angry, very scary lion. Still, I don’t move. I hold my own and cross my arms.
“What makes you think you can walk in here and order my girl out?”
I flinch.
I know he didn’t mean my girl in the way it sounded, but it hurt all the same. The burning jealousy in my belly is still there, and very, very real. I push it down. I can’t react with emotion right now. He’s going to hear me out, whether he likes it or not.
I’m so damned tired of my voice not being heard.
“Because you didn’t hear me out, and damned if I’m going to sit back and take it. You’re going to hear me, and I’m not leaving until you do.”
He raises a brow as he gets closer, stopping in front of me so we’re nearly nose to nose. “Be very careful, Amalie. I don’t like being told what to do.”
I hold his eyes. “And I don’t like being judged for something you know nothing about.”
“So you didn’t cause an accident that ruined a man’s life?”
I flinch, and he notices it. One hand snakes around my hip and hauls me closer so my body is slammed against his. My breath hitches and then bursts out of my mouth in a sudden gush. My body instantly becomes alert, and my thighs clench. Having him this close does things to me, and I hate that, more than anything, because I want to be angry at him.
He’s making that very hard.
“Let me go,” I whisper.
“You like it?” he growls, running his hands down over my ass and squeezing. I gasp and try not to whimper. Try not to show him that his hands make my body come to life. “You like when you get to play with other men while he sits at home?”
Rage builds inside me, and I slam my tiny fists on his chest, but he doesn’t move. “Screw you, Malakai. You know nothing about me.”
He releases my ass and brings his hand up to my cheek, cupping it, a little firmly. “I know that I thought you were the sweetest damn thing I ever saw in my life, but I’m startin’ to think you’re just a lion hidin’ in a kitten’s body.”
“That makes no sense,” I snap. “And you know nothing.”
“I know your body likes it when I run my hands over it, even though it shouldn’t.”
His eyes are lusty, and burning with rage, and, if I’m not mistaken, jealousy. He looks like he wants to hurt me, and make love to me, all at the same time. The worst part about it, is that I want him to. And that makes me even angrier. I should hate him. I should, but all I want to do is pull him closer, and let him do whatever he wants to me.
I’m tired of fighting it.
“I don’t like it,” I breathe, eyes holding his.
“I can feel the way your skin prickles when I run my fingers over it. You’re not innocent, Amalie. You’re bad, deep down. A fuckin’ devil. How would he feel knowin’ you’re here?”
I try to shove him again, and I spit out, “Get off me!”
He drops his hand, hooking it around my waist and lifting me off the floor. He pulls me against him so hard. “I don’t like bein’ someone’s fun to avoid reality.”
“And I don’t like how you’re holding me, let me go.”
“You fuckin’ love it,” he grinds out, rubbing my body against his.
And I do.
I do like it.
So much.
“Let me go, Malakai.”
He drops his head and his mouth grazes against my neck, making my whole body burn with a desire I can no longer contain.
“Now,” I try again, but I can’t stop the breathiness that hijacks my voice.
He knows I want it.
He also knows I hate that I want it.
“I don’t want you,” I moan when his mouth trails a hot path down my neck, to my shoulders.
He raises his head and looks me dead in the eyes.
“But you fuckin’ do. That’s what you love, isn’t it, darlin’? You love the forbidden. You want me to fuck you? Knowin’ he’s wonderin’ where you are?”
“Your jealousy is ugly,” I tell him, trying to shove him off again. “You don’t know anything about him, or me, or any of it. But I can tell you that you’re wr—”
He doesn’t let me finish my sentence, he spins us around and backs me straight into his desk, leaning down, lifting me, and shoving my bottom down onto the solid timber. He steps in between my legs, using his fingers to hitch up my dress so I’m exposed to him, only my panties and his jeans between us.
“I don’t want to hear any more of your pathetic fuckin’ lies. You want this, I’ll give it in every way you want it. Then you can leave, and go back to your boyfriend.”
“You’re such a stubborn ass—” I try again, but he kisses me.
He kisses me hard and deep, and with a roughness that I’m enjoying far more than I ever thought I would. He tastes incredible, and the intensity behind his kiss makes it all the more of a turn on. I spread my legs wider, and he gets closer, hands trailing down to my panties and gently stroking up and down the wet fabric.
He growls, and I can feel it rumble through my body.
It’s the most incredible feeling I’ve ever experienced.
I shouldn’t be doing this. He’s meant to be hearing me out.
But damned if I can stop him.
If I’m being honest, which I am, I don’t want to stop him.
I want to feel him.
I need to feel him.
His fingers slip beneath the sides of my panties and find my entrance, thrusting inside. I gasp and our lips break apart as breathy moans leave my lips. He thrusts his finger in and out, driving me higher and higher, and then he pulls them out. My head snaps up and I stare at him through lusty eyes.
He brings his fingers to his mouth, and sucks them.
My body ignites, and a fire burns deep inside of me.
I hate him.
I need him.
Now.
“You can go home with the taste of me in your pussy,” he rasps, jerking his jeans down and freeing himself.
I open my mouth to argue, but he slams his mouth over mine again. He’s stopping me. Every single time I open my mouth he’s making sure I can’t speak. He’s making sure I can’t tell my story. Because he doesn’t want to hear it, he doesn’t want to listen, but he has to. Eventually, he has to. I won’t rest until he knows what he read isn’t true.
I squirm, trying to get him to pay attention, but there’s no point. He puts two big hands under my ass and tilts me, then he’s at my entrance, pressing, prodding, big length warning me of what it’s about to do. I gasp, and my words disappear. I can’t think of anything else but what’s about to happen.
What the hell am I doing?
I pummel my fists on his chest, but he pushes the tip in, and my world collapses. I can’t feel anything else. I can’t see anything else. My pathetic attempt at getting him to stop disappears into nothing as he slowly slides into me, stretching, burning, until I’m gasping in both pain and pleasure.
“I hate you,” I cry out when he pulls back out, and this time slams back in.
He raises his head and looks at me. “Fuckin’ ditto.”
Then he fucks me.
His big hands hold my ass, and his hips grind into me, slamming in and out, making my body explode with a pleasure I’ve never felt before. I gasp, taking hold of his biceps, hanging onto the thick, bulging muscle there, and trying to remember what the hell it is I’m doing.
I can’t think.
It feels so good.
So incredibly good.
“Oh, God,” I cry out, hating that he knows I like it, hating that he knows he can make me feel this good.
His eyes hold mine, and he fucks me harder, bodies slamming together, my ass burning against the desk. He’s
bringing out something wild in me, something I never thought I had, and it terrifies me. I’ve never let a man handle me like this before, I’ve never been taken against a desk. The anger and absolute love pouring from Malakai’s eyes confuse and excite me.
His emotions light my soul on fire.
He thrusts, jaw tight, eyes never leaving mine. I feel my orgasm building, starting as a slow burn deep in my belly and building until I can’t hold it back anymore. I throw my head back and whimper as the most incredible sensations explode in my body. Malakai’s thrusting gets harder, and faster, and when I meet his eyes again, he’s almost in a daze.
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I whisper, holding his gaze. “I haven’t since the accident. He hates me. I don’t love him. It was never what you read.”
His lips part and his eyes grow hooded and I can feel him pulsing inside me, having found his own release. His thrusts slow, and when he stops, I put my hands on his chest, and I push him back. “You didn’t believe in me,” I tell him. “And maybe I deserved that. Because I didn’t tell you about Caiden, and I should have. But what you read is not what happened. But you didn’t give me the chance to tell you. You took my chance away. And you hurt me. So now I’m taking your chance away.”
He steps back, eyes intense, just staring at me, mouth tight, jaw clenched.
I fix myself up, feeling the warmth of him soaking into my panties and my heart breaks. It cracks open right there and then.
“I’m taking your chance with me.”
With that, I turn and walk out the door.
He doesn’t follow me.
I think that hurts the most.
-13-
MALAKAI
It fucking burns.
Makes my heart feel like it’s being torn into a thousand different pieces.
I’m angry. And I’m fucking disappointed. In myself. I fucked her like she was some whore, because I was so angry, and so fucking jealous. But when she told me I was wrong, and that she wasn’t with that other loser, my whole body stopped working. For a few seconds, everything seemed numb.
I’m a fucking idiot.
Now she’s gone, and I don’t know how in the hell I’m supposed to get her back. I didn’t give her a chance. All this time, I told her I believed in her, but when the time came, I took that away. I took it and I crushed it. I crushed everything she believed in. Which was mostly me.
