Rush: The Beginning (Black Hearts Still Beat Book 1)

by L A Cotton

  “You’ll be at the show?”

  “I wouldn’t miss hearing you sing again for anything,” he said taking my breath away, his eyes so honest and intense. “Remember what I said, Eva... dream of me.” Rafe slipped out of the room and I slumped against the wall, completely overwhelmed by him.

  And almost certain I was on a one-way road to Heartbreak City.

  Like the show at Ploughton, the morning passed in a blur of rehearsals and briefings. Only this time, anticipation was replaced with tension as we waited around for the audience to fill the hotel’s impressive auditorium. Unlike the regional shows where there was a conveyor belt of performances ranging from the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, all twenty-four of us here today had earned our spot. Now we had to survive the first round of judges eliminations to advance to the aired show this evening, where the remaining finalists would compete for a spot in the top three.

  “Gather round everyone,” Colton wafted his clipboard above his head, waiting for everyone to gather in. “We’re about thirty minutes out to curtains up. You should all have the running order memorized. It’s going to be a long day, so sit tight, take a few deep breaths, and most of all, enjoy it out there. Any questions?”

  “What happens if we forget our words?” Josiah called out, earning him a few snickers.

  “No second chances. The judges know the deal. Six minutes per performer. Not a minute longer. You screw up your lyrics, that’s on you.”

  “Jeez, it was a joke,” Josiah grumbled under his breath.

  “Okay, before we get this show on the road, I just want to take this opportunity, on behalf of the production team, judges, and the people at Jamesboro County Productions, to congratulate you all on making it this far. Today is your chance to shine.” Colton’s hand went to his earpiece and he hurried off.

  “I don’t know about anyone else, but I really felt his—”

  “Do you ever quit talkin’, Golden?” Scott smirked. “You should focus less on making wisecracks and more on preparing for the show.”

  “I’m ready, Scott. Been ready my whole goddamn life.” Josiah stiffened his collar before slinking away.

  “He never learns.” Scott came up beside me. “Hey, where’s your friend?”

  “Molly? She’s gettin’ coffee.”

  His eyes twinkled. “You’ll be at the party tonight?”

  “I, uh, I’m not sure what we’re doin’ yet.”

  “You have to come.”

  “Maybe.” I highly doubted Rafe and Hunter would be at the wrap party.

  “Oh hey, Scott.” Molly strolled up to us. “Sorry it took me so long. It’s gettin’ pretty crazy out there.”

  “It’s a sellout, always is. But with Hudson Ryker on the panel things have been even crazier.”

  “Yeah, well, some of those fan girls are vicious. I almost got into a fight with two girls in the line.”

  I fought a chuckle. “Maybe you should stay back here where it’s safe,” Scott said, his eyes slowly raking down my best friend’s body. To my surprise—or not, given her current thing with Hudson—Molly didn’t seem to notice. She pulled out her cell and checked the screen, frowning. I shot her a questioning look, but my best friend didn’t take the bait. Instead, she slid it back in her pocket and pasted on a fake smile.

  “It’s almost showtime,” she said. “Are you all set?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” Nervous energy danced in my stomach. It had been the same all morning; a flight of butterflies fluttering wildly, causing havoc to my insides.

  “Just remember, babe, all you can do is your best.”

  I looked at her and forced a smile. She was right, of course. But now I was here, so close to the final, all I could think was what if my best wasn’t good enough?

  “Betsy called her the new sweetheart of country. Welcome on-stage Miss Evangeline Walker.”

  The production assistant gave me a little nudge, forcing me out of the wings. The glare of the stage lights hit me first, then the rumble of the audience, the force of their roar knocking me back like a tsunami.

  “And what have you prepared for us today, Eva?” Garth asked, cool and collected, unaffected by the sea of people behind him.

  “I’ll be singing Zombie by The Cranberries.”

  He gave a sharp nod. “Good luck, the stage is all yours.”

  Silence fell over the auditorium, like the eerie calm before the storm. I strummed the opening chords, and it only took a split-second for the rush to hit me. All the anticipation, the nerves and fear dissipating, melting into nothing as the first lyrics left my lips.

  I’d enjoyed performing at Ploughton, found my love of playing again somewhere between Molly handing me the entry letter and stepping out in front of the judges for the first time. But it was here, in Camdena, I found my reason.

  This wasn’t just a contest of vanity; of proving you were the best. It wasn’t just a platform to launch your music career.

  It was more.

  To me, it was so much more.

  It was a step toward healing; to finding my path again. But more than that, it was a chance to ease the burden on my parents. If I could win that prize check, I could give Mom and Dad back everything they lost from watching me almost die.

  As my fingers moved over the frets, as I sang each haunting lyric, I felt my resolve harden. I’d always been modest, always played down my talent. But maybe it was time I started listening to everyone around me.

  It was time to start listening to myself.

  I could do this.

  I needed to do it.

  I needed to believe I’d been given a second chance to make a difference.

  Because otherwise, the burden of getting a second chance at life was one I wasn’t sure I’d survive.

  “And the crowd goes wild.” Molly punched her fist in the air, beaming with delight as I weaved my way backstage. “You were sensational,” she added.

  “You think?”

  “Oh hush now; you know you rocked it.” Her eyes flicked to a darkened corner of the room. “You should probably... go.”

  “Go?” My brows furrowed, and she rolled her eyes. Leaning in, she whispered, “A certain guitarist is waitin’ for you.”

  “He is?” The butterflies were back.

  Molly let out an exasperated breath. “Will you just go already? Before I do.” She smiled but there was a tightness in her words. I didn’t need to ask to know something bad happened between her and Hudson, or maybe nothing had and that was the problem. Molly liked him. It was right there in her eyes every time they were together. But now she’d slept with him, and everyone knew sex changed things. People either usually caught feelings or they didn’t.

  Molly had caught feelings. But Hudson... something told me he never caught them.

  “Eva, babe, go.” Her words pulled me from my thoughts.

  “What happened to ‘we can’t live in their world’?”

  “We can’t.” She smiled sadly. “But I think you deserve to share the spotlight for a little while. Now go.” My best friend held out her hand and I slipped off my guitar strap and gave it to her. I didn’t want to be that girl, the girl chasing after a guy she liked, but the second Molly hinted that Rafe was waiting for me, the invisible rope in my stomach tightened, pulling me toward him.

  Discreetly, I crossed the room, smiling at a couple of contestants who caught my eye. Josiah looked ready to stop me in my tracks but thankfully Scott intercepted him. By the time I reached the door, my heart was pounding so hard I felt lightheaded. This wasn’t real life, sneaking into dark hallways to meet famous rock stars. But it was real.

  And right now, it was my life.

  I gripped the door handle and pushed, slipping inside. Rafe was on me in a second, pulling me further into the darkness. “You were amazing,” he whispered, his hands cupping my face, lips brushing over mine.

  My hands went to his tee, curling into the soft material. “You listened?”

  “I could listen to y
ou all day, every day.” He kissed me again. the cool sting of his piercing sending a delicious shiver skittering up my spine.

  His words softened something inside me and I melted against him. Rafe kissed me like he felt it. Felt the simmering need between us, the growing bond.

  Molly’s warning lingered in the back of my mind, but every stroke of his tongue, every time his teeth teased my skin, it got pushed further and further away, until I could barely remember why this was a bad idea.

  When Rafe finally broke the kiss, my knees were weak and my mind was mush. “Hi.” He gazed down at me, his eyes more black than gray now.

  “Hi.” I smiled, aware of how easy he pulled me in. Made me forget all the other stuff going on around me.

  “I probably shouldn’t have done that, but I couldn’t wait.”

  “I’m glad you did it.” My hands curled tighter as I leaned up to kiss the corner of his mouth. His taste was addictive, his touch like wildfire, setting my body alight.

  “The things I want to do with you,” he murmured. It was the same thing he’d said to me before. At first, the words had struck me as odd. The things he wanted to do with me. Not to me. But now I liked them.

  I liked them a whole lot.

  Until the reality of our situation edged into the corner of my thoughts. I stepped back, putting some space between us. But it only gave more room for Molly’s warning to slam into me.

  “Eva?” Rafe frowned.

  I tucked some stray curls behind my ear and forced a smile. “I should probably get back, the production team will wonder where I am.”

  Jamming his hands in his pockets, Rafe rocked forward. “I meant what I said last night, Starshine. I know it’s complicated, but you never know where this might lead. You just have to give it a chance.”

  Panic welled up inside me. He wanted this.

  He wanted me.

  I didn’t doubt that.

  But what happened when tomorrow came and he had to return to the band and I had to go back to trying to figure out how to live again?

  “I’ll see you later, okay?” I started for the door.

  “I won’t let you run, Eva. Not yet.” His words rolled off me as I hurried back to the backstage area. No one seemed to notice me, too preoccupied with their preparations.

  Molly was watching out for me though. She rushed straight over, her brows crinkled with concern. “What happened?”

  “What am I doing?” I whisper-cried. “This isn’t me.”

  “Oh, babe, come here.” Molly wrapped me into a hug, letting me have my moment of despair. Then, after a couple of beats of silence, she said the words that shook me to my core. “Maybe there’s a reason you’re both here, at this exact same time. Maybe he’s supposed to help you heal.”

  Her words sank into me.

  Was she right?

  Was Rafe really part of my healing?

  Or would he be my downfall?

  “You’re shaking, darlin’,” A woman from the Klineville regional took my hand in hers as we waited for Colton. Two hours later, after the last contestant performed, the judges had disappeared into one of the hotel’s conference rooms to deliberate over who would be commencing to the final eight. Molly had kept me company, supplying me with soda and candy while we waited for the callback.

  I didn’t see Rafe again.

  It was a good thing too, because I wasn’t ready to deal with him or how I felt about him. Not yet, at least. Not when I had the show to think about.

  The door finally opened and Colton entered the room, the four judges filing in behind him. My eyes immediately went to Hudson. If my fellow contestants knew I’d hung out with him, they might have had something to say about it. But the fact was, I still wasn’t entirely sure he liked me, and I expected no preferential treatment just because he’d slept with my best friend.

  “Okay,” Colton said, “this is it, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Some of you know the routine by now and some of you don’t. If I call your name, please step forward. Gina Denby, Jet Ollerton, Josiah Golden, Mary Sue Kinley, Evangeline Walker, Joelene Proctor, Davy Larson, and Tiffany Meriah...” I glanced down the line, trying to place each contestant and their performance. Gina had been pitch-perfect again and was shaping up to be a firm audience favorite. But I couldn’t remember at least three of the performers. Not to mention the fact, I couldn’t believe a scenario where the judges chose Josiah to progress to the final.

  So when Colton said, “Congratulations, you’re our 2019 finalists,” I almost didn’t believe it.

  Cheers broke out around me, a deafening rumble that reverberated deep in my chest. Colton was quick to usher the room into quiet. “It’s never easy saying goodbye to contestants at this stage but the judges would like to say a few words. Garth, over to you.”

  He stepped forward, offering the twenty-four of us a warm smile. “This year’s talent has been unbelievable. The level at which y’all are playing and singin’ has really blown us away. It’s never easy being told it's the end of the road. but it's all part of auditioning and tryin' to make it in this business. We've all gotten our fair share of rejections but keep doing what you’re doin’ and one day, you’ll get there.”

  “Thank you for that, Garth.” Colton checked his clipboard. “We wish you all the best and hope you’ll stick around to celebrate with the winners tonight. I have it on good authority there’s a free bar and copious amounts of fried chicken.” He chuckled. “Winners stick around as production want to run over a few things with y’all. Everyone else, if you’ll please follow Shelby, she’ll get you debriefed.”

  One by one the contestants who had not gone through filed out of the room, but the judges lingered. Colton and Garth were deep in conversation while Sarah Lou chatted to Gina and a couple of the other finalists. I remained by myself, letting the news soak in.

  “We meet again,” Josiah said.

  My eyes slid to his, silently pleading for him to leave. “Congratulations,” I replied.

  “I’d say the same to you but at this point in the contest the time for playin’ nice is over.”

  “It’s just a contest, Josiah.”

  “Just a contest?” His eyes narrowed with vehemence. “Do you know how many people would kill to be here?” He stepped closer to me and I craned my neck around him to try to catch someone’s attention.

  “You think you’re somethin’ special” he sneered, “because Ryker took a—”

  “Eva,” Hudson’s voice was hard. “Production needs you.”

  Josiah turned on his heel and dropped the intimidating asshat routine. “Hudson, my man, I was just giving Eva some tips, if you know what I’m sayin’.”

  Hudson looked right past him and said, “Eva, now.” He almost barked the words, but his sights were set firmly on Josiah. I slipped around him and moved behind the Black Hearts drummer. He was slightly shorter than Rafe but broader, his biceps bulging out beneath his tight black tee. I imagined it was from all the hours spent practicing.

  “Go,” Hudson clipped out. “I want to talk to Goldenboy a second.”

  I smothered a snicker at the fact Hudson had used Molly’s nickname for him. Josiah’s jaw clenched, but he didn’t argue, waiting for me to leave. Eventually, I inched away, making a beeline for the door. I needed air. Or better yet, a shower to wash away the feel of Josiah’s unnerving gaze.

  As I grabbed the handle, I glanced back to where Hudson had Josiah cornered. It looked anything less than friendly, but I couldn’t work out if Hudson was simply being a good human being, helping a girl in need, or whether he was looking out for me for a certain gray-eyed bassist.

  There had been no time to dwell on Josiah and Hunter; backstage was becoming a flurry of activity as the production team prepared for the final eight performances. I was primped and polished within an inch of my life. The make-up felt heavy on my skin, but we all had to wear it for the cameras; something about lighting and sheen reduction. But as I stood center stage, the lights beating
down on me, it seemed pointless, and I was convinced I would look like a melting waxwork to the viewers at home.

  “Welcome back, Evangeline.” Garth said, folding his arms on the table. “What’ll you be singin’ for us?”

  “This is a song I wrote called, ‘All It Takes Is A Second’.”

  “Whenever you’re ready.” He gave me a little nod.

  Closing my eyes, I moved my fingers into position, inhaled a deep breath, and started strumming.

  * * *

  Woke up this morning, with tears on my pillow.

  And I cried.

  Went through the motions, the questions and anger.

  And I tried.

  Told myself I’d make it, would fight ‘til the end.

  And I lied.

  * * *

  Because all it takes is a second for everything to change.

  You never saw it coming, never expected the storm ‘til it arrived

  With nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide

  All you can do is hope that it passes without too much wreckage

  Because all it takes is a second for everything to change.

  * * *

  Woke up this morning, with barely a whisper.

  And I cried.

  Fell down again, then picked myself back up.

  And I tried.

  Held onto hope, then let it slip through my fingers.

  And I lied.

  * * *

  Because all it takes is a second for everything to change.

  You never saw it coming, never expected the storm ‘til it arrived

  With nowhere to run to and nowhere to hide

  All you can do is hope that it passes without too much wreckage

  Because all it takes is a second for everything to change

  * * *