Corset Diaries

by Katie MacAlister

  “Oh, to hell with pride,” I swore, then grabbed her thin little shoulders and hugged her tight. She stood stiff as a board for a few seconds, then hugged me back. When I let go of her, we both turned away immediately and busied ourselves with getting on the horses.

  “You tell anyone we did that and I’ll get out my grapefruit knife,” I warned a grinning Alec. He just winked at me, and it took me a couple of seconds before I was able to drag my eyes off the masculine picture of manly attributes that he made standing in the sunlight. “Right, Melody, off we go. Remember—nothing over a trot!”

  It was a lovely morning, our last day at Worston. England was enjoying a warm Indian summer, the air warm and quiet, the sky hazy above, while closer to earth iridescent blue-and-black banded dragonflies zipped about gaily. It was as close to idyllic as we were going to find, and I think even Melody, who usually spent her ride focused on her riding technique, relaxed enough to appreciate the beauty of the surroundings we rode through.

  It wasn’t until we were headed back that I wanted to strangle the little wretch.

  “Come on, Tessa, I’ll race you,” she cried happily, digging her heels into Penny, who promptly tossed her head, realized she was going back to the stables where a lovely breakfast awaited her, and took off at warp five.

  “No, Melody! Never run a horse back to its stable,” I yelled, then swore and bent low over Talisman’s neck as I urged him into a full-out gallop.

  Melody sawed desperately on the reins, one hand clinging to Penny’s mane.

  “She won’t stop!” she yelled back at me, her face twisted with fear. She evidently realized that she was no longer in control of her horse, and made an attempt to pull Penny back into a slower gait, but all that did was send Penny veering off the path we’d established and straight toward a thin line of trees bordering the outbuildings near the house.

  “Damn,” I swore, and urged Talisman faster. It was awkward galloping in a sidesaddle, but he was closing the distance on the slower Penny. Just as we came on them, Penny swerved around a tall pine tree.

  “Try to turn her,” I shouted. “Keep her in a tight circle and she’ll slow down.”

  I was so busy yelling instructions to Melody that I didn’t see the branch until it was a hair’s breadth in front of me.

  “Oh, no—aaaaaaaarrrrrck!”

  Now, here’s the thing about a sidesaddle—your right leg is crooked around a curved pommel. It’s not strapped down or anything but it is solidly wedged against the pommel, which is not normally a problem, unless you’re about to run smack into a tree, and if your horse twists to avoid a branch while you hit another one . . . well, you run the risk of injuring your leg on the pommel.

  I didn’t realize I was on the ground until Alec appeared, a weeping Melody standing behind him. “Tessa? Where do you hurt?”

  I blinked up at him, the sunlight creating a corona around his golden head, and slowly, bit by bit, my senses returned. First was vision. I could see Alec and Melody, and to the right of me Talisman cropped at the grass, the sidesaddle hanging drunkenly from his back. Then came the warm odor of the sun-baked earth and acid bite of the tall grass, a faint breeze bringing with it the scent of hay. . . . Then, unfortunately, feeling returned.

  “Bloody effing hell!” I yelled as I sat up. “Oh, my god, I’ve broken my leg!”

  Alec shoved up the long green skirts of my riding habit and looked at my legs. “Ow. Can you move your toes?”

  I could.

  Gently, he prodded the area around my right knee. “I don’t think it’s broken, but it looks to me like you’ve dislocated your kneecap. Come on, we need to get you to hospital.”

  “No, wait—” I started to protest, but he ignored me and with a really loud grunt, hoisted me into his arms.

  “That’s it, I’m never eating again,” I grumbled as he told Melody to lead Talisman.

  “You’re not so bad, just a bit on the hefty side,” he answered.

  “I’m going to get you for that, Alec, just see if I don’t.”

  He grinned, but it was a quick grin, as if he didn’t have the energy to expend on maintaining it.

  “Tessa, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” Melody said, her face blotchy and red from where she had been crying. She wiped her nose on her sleeve, and I bit back the comment that her sleeve wasn’t her handkerchief. “I didn’t know you were going to get hurt. Dad’s going to kill me.”

  “No, he’s not,” I said grimly as Alec clumped heavily into the stable yard. “Just set me down there, Alec, on the bench.”

  “Yes, he is. He’s going to be mad at me because you got hurt instead of me,” she wailed.

  “Don’t be melodramatic. Your father would move heaven and earth to keep you from being hurt, and he’s not going to kill you because he’s not going to find out this happened. Thank you, Alec. I hope I didn’t strain your back too much. Would you mind fetching Roger’s car? You can take me to the hospital while Max is out seeing the tenant farmers.”

  Alec frowned down on me, pinching his lower lip between his fingers as he eyed the knee I was examining. “I don’t think that’s wise, Tessa. Max will want to know—”

  “Well, he’s not going to, at least not until tomorrow. If he finds out what happened, he’s going to come un-glued. We have to get through this one last day, Alec. Everyone is hanging on by their fingernails; I’m not going to have Max going ballistic and ruining everything. Now go get Roger’s car. Melody, I didn’t ask—you’re not hurt are you?”

  “No.” Her forehead was wrinkled with worry lines, her eyes still red and damp-looking. “Penny stopped at the stable and Alec helped me down.”

  “Good. Needless to say, you aren’t to say anything about this to anyone. Go upstairs and have your morning lesson with Mademoiselle, and I’ll see you at tea, OK?”

  “Dad will know you’re hurt,” she pointed out. “He’ll find out and then he’ll be mad at you, too.”

  I sighed. “I know, but I’m hoping that doesn’t happen until late tonight when we go to . . . um . . . until late tonight. I think Alec’s right; nothing is broken, it’s probably just sprained, like your wrist was. They’ll tape it up just fine, and if I’m careful, your dad won’t know anything about it. You can help me by doing what you’re supposed to be doing. If he sees you wandering around when you should be at your lessons, he’ll know something is up.”

  She frowned. “That’s just an excuse to get rid of me.”

  I sighed again, getting up on my one leg as Alec backed Roger’s steel blue car into the stable yard. “Yeah, I know, it was a pretty pathetic one, too, but it’s the best I can do right now. Come on, help me hop over to the car, then you scoot.”

  It will come as no surprise, I’m sure, to know that I wasn’t nearly as optimistic as I made out to Melody. My knee had swelled to cantaloupe proportions and hurt like the very devil. Alec lectured me all the way to the hospital about the folly of trying to hide a serious injury from Max, but I ignored him after the first couple of minutes. He wasn’t telling me anything I didn’t know. Once Max found out I’d lied to him—by word or deed, he wouldn’t differentiate between the two—he’d be hurt and angry and I’d lose his hard-won trust in me. But it was that or the project, and everyone had worked so hard I couldn’t let all their sacrifices go for nothing.

  Two hours later I was back at the house, feeling pretty happy thanks to the shot of pain meds I’d been given.

  “How are you expecting to hide those, then?” Alec asked as he helped me from the car, nodding toward the pair of crutches that resided in the backseat. My knee wasn’t seriously hurt, just wrenched badly with some strained muscles, but the doctor thought I shouldn’t stress it for a couple of days.

  “Don’t need ‘em,” I said, higher than a kite. I smiled at him and may have patted him on his cheek, I’m not quite sure; I don’t exactly remember. “Have a plan. Cane. No one'll see it. Hide it in my skirt. Smart, eh?”

  I hobbled forward, Alec hovering
anxiously at my side as I one-footed my way up the front steps. My knee was wrapped and encased in a leg brace, and although it was weak and felt a bit bulky and unstable, I was sure no one would notice anything out of the norm.

  “Thanks, Alec. ‘Predate it. Gimme a kiss.”

  Alec looked startled for a minute.

  “C’mon, you know you wanna. Kissy-kissy-kissy!”

  Alec backed away, holding his hands up to keep me from vaulting into his arms. “Er . . . Tessa, no offense intended, but I don’t have a death wish, so I think I’ll get back to the stables, if you don’t mind.”

  I grinned and waved bye-bye to him as I entered the hall. Teddy, rushing through with a salver full of punch cups, paused to give me a puzzled look.

  “Are you all right, Tessa?”

  “Dine and fandy!” I said brightly, and moved with exquisite grace toward the library. “Tell Alice I’m back from . . . from . . .”

  “Your ride?” he asked, still eyeing me strangely.

  “Yessir, that’s it. Ride. Tell her I’m back an‘ I’ll be inna library if she needs me. Ever’thing OK, Teddy-pants?”

  His eyes widened. “Erm . . . yes. You haven’t . . . eh . . . been tasting the champagne for tonight, have you?”

  “Nope.” I waved to him, too, and sauntered my way into the library, plopping myself down on a long leather couch and promptly falling asleep.

  Max woke me up an hour and a half later.

  “Tessa, what’s wrong with you?” he asked as I tried to sit up, feeling groggy and leaden. “Alice said she tried to wake you up three times. Are you all right? You’re not getting sick, are you?”

  It was the anxious note in his voice that penetrated the drug-hazed hallways of my mind. “Oh, god, it’s Max. I can’t let him know. Shhh. Be quiet, and he won’t figure it out.”

  Max blinked his adorable little eyes. “Tessa?”

  I made kissy noises. “You’ve got the cutest little eye-peepers, Maxikins, do you know that? I could just suck them right out of your head, they’re so cute.”

  Max’s cute eye-peepers opened really wide. He leaned forward and delicately sniffed the air around my mouth. I made kissy lips at him, just to show him how much I loved him.

  “Tessa, what’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing’s wrong with you, you’re almost perfect,” I said, grabbing his head and pulling it down so my kissy lips would meet his.

  He let me kiss him, then gently pried my fingers from his head. “You’re not ill, are you?”

  “I’m fine, except for my knee, but you don’t know about that, so it doesn’t count, does it?”

  “Your knee?” He looked down at me. “You’re still wearing your riding habit.”

  “We went riding,” I said proudly, lying back down because it was too much of an effort to stay sitting up when I couldn’t hold on to his hair. “Melody didn’t get hurt, not one little itty-bitty scratch, no sir, she sure didn’t. I watched over her really, really carefully, Max, cause I knew you’d stop loving me if I didn’t.”

  “Tessa, I will never stop loving you, however, I would appreciate knowing just what happened.” He leaned over me, peeling back my riding habit to expose my legs.

  “Max! It’s the middle of the day! You’ve picked a fine time to get friksy.”

  He sucked in his breath. “You have a brace on your leg.”

  I frowned, concentrating hard. Somehow my tongue got twisted up on itself. “Firsky.”

  “Frisky,” Max said, his voice sounding as if he was gargling concrete.

  “Well, if you insist,” I said, and hauled him down on top of me. “Gotcha!”

  He levered himself off me, despite my cry of unhappiness. “Max! Don’t you wanna get frisky with me?”

  “I want you to tell me what happened to your leg. Did you fall off your horse?”

  “No!” I said with much dignity. “I can’t tell you what happened, because then you’ll just make a big scene about it and you’ll ruin everything and all the servants will be mad at me and Roger will yell and Kip will glare at me and most of all, you won’t love me . . . any . . . more. . . .”

  The tears of pity that burned behind my eyes spilled over my lashes at the contemplation of just how mad Max was going to be at me when he found out what happened.

  He bent down to kiss my damp cheeks. “I will always love you, Tessa. Did you happen to take any pills when you were at the hospital?”

  “No,” I said, snuggling down into the couch. My body, particularly my eyelids, felt as if it was held down by lead weights. My eyes drifted shut. “But they gave me a really nice shot.”

  “Who drove you?”

  “Alec, but you don’t know that, OK? I don’t want him to get in trouble with you.”

  “He won’t get in trouble.”

  I dragged one eyelid up enough to pierce him with a steely gaze. “You promise I won’t tell you?”

  His puzzled frown returned.

  “I mean, you promise you won’t tell yourself? Oh, never mind, it’s too confusing. I’m just going to take a little nap and then I’ll straighten it all out.”

  He said something else, but the couch was too comfortable, and I was too tired to pay attention.

  When I woke up again, it was just after three. I had missed lunch, but that wasn’t what bothered me. With consciousness my memory had returned, and I sat with my head in my hands and groaned at the memory of Max’s puzzled frown as I told him to not tell himself about Alec and my injury. “Stupid mind-muddling painkillers,” I mumbled into my wrists. “Stupid blabbermouth. Now he’s going to have kittens and everyone will kill me. Gah.”

  After a good wallow in self-pity, I got my act together and figured I’d better go find Max and see how bad it was. The ballroom was on the other end of the house, but it was still suspiciously quiet outside the library; for a house gearing up for a major party, too quiet.

  I swung my legs off the couch and stood up, almost falling when my right leg buckled beneath me. I swore and fell back onto the couch as pain lanced up from my knee. “Oh, wonderful, the painkillers have worn off.”

  “I’m not surprised; you’ve been sleeping all afternoon.”

  I stiffened for a second, then relaxed when I realized that it was a woman speaking to me and not Max. “Oh, hi, Alice. Um. You have my crutches in your hand.”

  “Max thought you might need them when you woke up. How do you feel?”

  “Worried,” I said, taking the crutches. “How is he?”

  Her eyebrows raised. “Max? Fine.”

  “No, I mean, how is he? Is he ranting and raving? Has he locked Melody away in her room? Has he ordered a litter to carry me upstairs?”

  She laughed. “Nothing so dramatic. Oh, I won’t say he’s not a little angry, but he’s actually been very helpful this morning. Raven was inclined to be a bit sulky about cleaning up the dishes, but he set her straight.”

  “So it’s still on?” I asked, slumping back in relief. A little angry I could deal with. “He hasn’t canceled it or anything?”

  “No. Did you expect he would?”

  I made a little moue. “Kind of. Where is he now?”

  “In the ballroom, overseeing the decorations.”

  I flinched. That had been on my list of chores to see to. “Ah. Since I’m sure he’s doing just fine, I believe I’ll let him do that by himself. In fact, I think I’ll just stay out of his way altogether. It’s probably better that way, huh?”

  She laughed again and started toward the door. “You’re going to have to face him sometime, Tessa. You can’t hide all day!”

  “Says who?” I asked as the door closed with a quiet click. I ran over the mental list of things I was supposed to do, the talks I had planned for the staff, the encouragement I was to give them to keep them working together as a team one last time. “Come on, Tessa, you wanted involvement. Now you have it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it. The sooner you face Max, the sooner it will be over with.”
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  The words froze on my lips as I spoke them.

  I just hope it won’t be our relationship that is what’s over.

  Friday

  October 1

  5:14 P.M.

  Max’s house, sitting room, brown-and-green striped couch (comfy)

  All right, I’m going to do this properly, I’m going to write down everything the way it happened. No foreshadowing disaster, no sudden insights into the wild events that were to come . . . Oh, pooh, I guess I just did foreshadow, didn’t I?

  OK, starting again.

  Date: yesterday. Time: afternoon.

  Eventually, Max found me. I was crutching my way out to the hall when all of a sudden he appeared at the end of the hallway, heading straight for me. I did an immediate about-face and crutched like the wind in the opposite direction.

  “Tessa!” he bellowed.

  I swear, if there is a land-speed record for walking on crutches on one leg, I broke it.

  Unfortunately, possessing the record doesn’t mean much when you’re up against a noncrutch competitor, especially one with long legs that eat up the ground.

  “Dammit, Tessa, I want to talk to you. Stop! You’re going to hurt yourself if you try to run from me.”

  I stopped, the palms of my hands burning with the unfamiliar treatment. “I wouldn’t run if you wouldn’t yell at me.”

  Max grabbed my arm, turning me to face him. He glowered down at me for a couple of seconds, then made that wonderful noise deep in his chest and pulled me up against his body, his arms holding me tight against him while his tongue went a-plundering. I sighed happily into his mouth and did a little plundering of my own, deliriously happy that he wasn’t so angry that he never wanted to kiss me again.

  Suddenly, his wonderful mouth was gone, and he was shaking me. “Don’t you ever try to hide an injury from me!”

  “Ow! Geez, Max . . . ow! You’re taking this a lot better . . . ow . . . than I thought you would.”

  He stopped shaking me and hugged me. “Dammit, I don’t know whether to kiss you or shake you.”