MERLOT AND DIVORCE AND DEADLY REMORSE

by Jodi Vaughn

  “Gabby already said that Dad came by. You might as well go ahead and ground me.” Arianna looked at me with accusation in her eyes.

  “What? Why would I ground you? I haven’t even heard your side of the story yet.” I kept my voice calm despite the thudding in my chest.

  She narrowed her eyes at me.

  “What did you do, Arianna?” Gabby asked before stuffing a forkful of fettuccine into her mouth.

  “I didn’t do anything. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll be punished anyway.”

  “Arianna, why don’t we talk about this after dinner?”

  “Why? Gabby will find out anyway.” Arianna shoved her plate away and crossed her arms over her chest. “Just ask me and get it over with.”

  The hurt I saw in my daughter’s eyes cut me to the core.

  “Did you take Elizabeth Grace’s lunch?”

  “No. She took mine and dumped it in the garbage. She said I was too fat and didn’t need to eat. Then she told the teacher that I stole her lunch.”

  “She’s a mean girl who needs to look in the mirror. She’s just jealous because you are so slim, Arianna. And if I had a real dragon who breathed fire, I would burn her fat butt up with its breath.” Gabby narrowed her eyes with determination.

  “I figured it was Elizabeth Grace. She’s like her mother. Mean-spirited,” I said, low. I curled my fingers into fists under the kitchen counter. I wanted to protect my daughters from monsters like that.

  “But I bet Dad didn’t believe me. I bet he believed what the principal said. What Elizabeth Grace said.”

  “Honey, I—”

  “Don’t lie. You don’t need to lie,” she said quietly. She looked up at me with big eyes. “What about you? Do you believe me?”

  “Of course, I do.” I stood and went over to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders. She flinched when I touched her.

  “What else did the principal say I did?” She didn’t look up at me.

  I held my breath. I didn’t want to bring up the other thing.

  “Mom.” She looked up at me.

  “She also said you called Elizabeth Grace…a bad word.”

  “Like ass?” Gabby asked, her eyes wide.

  “Gabby, don’t say that word.” I glared at her.

  “Ass is in the Bible.” She shrugged.

  I looked back at Arianna. “The word started with a C.”

  Arianna’s eyes grew wide with shock. I knew without a doubt that my daughter hadn’t said that word.

  I patted her shoulder and breathed out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. Not that I ever thought Arianna had said it, but I figured she would think I wouldn’t believe her.

  “Well, I am not afraid to call Elizabeth Grace the C-word. She’s a clown, and she knows it.” Gabby slammed her fork down on the counter, making both of us jump. “She looks like a clown, and she is a clown.”

  Arianna let out a bark of laughter.

  I grinned.

  “What?” Gabby asked. “That girl is a clown.”

  “That’s not the C-word Mom was referring to.” Arianna giggled.

  “Oh, that word.” Gabby’s eyes grew wide.

  “Gabby. You better not know anything about that word.” I set my glare on her.

  “What? Our teacher uses that word all the time. We are studying animals, and cow frequently comes up.” Gabby sighed and slid off the stool. “Well, I’m headed to my room. I’m tired of all this cow talk.”

  Arianna and I watched Gabby walk towards her room. When she disappeared around the corner, we both let out a laugh.

  Chapter 14

  As I was cleaning up the dishes from dinner, the doorbell rang. I cringed. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to Khalan.

  He made a habit of showing up at my house at the wrong time. It was still daylight, and I didn’t need the neighbors spotting him on my doorstep. They’d start to talk.

  I headed to the door and peered outside. It was a woman, but she was turned away from me so I couldn’t see her face.

  I opened the door.

  “Oh, Rachel. I’m so glad you’re home.” Judith Beckett brushed past me and stepped inside.

  Judith was one of my neighbors and belonged to the book club that we hosted in the neighborhood. While we were part of the monthly book club, I wasn’t exactly close with Judith. She was always so put-together, kept a spotless house, and baked like Martha Stewart.

  Judith was perfect. And it always made me feel less than.

  “Hi, Judith. I didn’t expect you.” Judith never dropped in unexpected. She had perfect manners and always called ahead.

  Except for today.

  “I know. I did call, but you don’t seem to be answering your phone these days.” She gave me a knowing look. I cringed.

  She touched my arm and nodded solemnly. “I know about you and Miles. I heard what happened at the party.” She held up her hands and gave a firm shake of her head. “But I’m not here to talk to you about that. I’m here to talk to you about Carla.”

  “What about?” I waved her over to the couch in the living room. She was already in my house, so she might as well sit.

  I may be a vampire, but I was still a good, Southern girl with good, Southern manners.

  “This stuff with Cal has devastated her. She’s a mess. She’s not eating or sleeping. She was thin enough before all this happened, but now she’s practically a skeleton.” She looked down my body and then back up at my face. “But I guess that’s what happens when your husband betrays you.”

  I bristled. “I think what happened in my situation and what happened with Carla is a lot different. You can’t compare the two.” I crossed my arms and frowned.

  “Both your husbands betrayed you. Miles with another woman, and Cal by being a cheater and a murderer.” Judith shook her head and studied the floor. “Who would have thought that Cal could kill someone? It was bad enough that he killed that poor student, but then to forget about the body in the storage unit… Unheard of.” She grimaced.

  “He has admitted to killing the girl?” My ears perked up. The reason Cal couldn’t remember where he’d hidden the body was because I’d glamoured him to forget the events of that night. I did it purely out of selfishness. I didn’t want him telling everyone that he’d seen me half-naked and driving out of the neighborhood like a maniac when I discovered Nikki in bed with Miles. It just so happened that it was also the night he’d hidden the body of his victim.

  “Yes. Cal finally said that some of the events of that night are coming back to him. They are going to hypnotize him to see if they can get him to remember anything else.”

  I froze. The blood in my veins turned to icicles. “They’re going to what?”

  “Hypnotize him.” Judith blinked.

  I shook my head and swallowed. “Does that even work? I thought it was something magicians did or something you only saw on TV.”

  “Oh, it does.” Judith’s eyes got wide. “My sister went to a hypnotherapist to stop smoking. It’s been ten years, and she hasn’t picked up another cigarette. It works, trust me.”

  The little bit of food I had ingested threatened to come back up. I needed to talk to Khalan and find out if Cal would remember what I had done. Not only had I glamoured him, but I had also taken his blood. No one could know about that. No one could find out what I was.

  “So, what does this have to do with me?”

  “Well, I figured that we should start including Carla in our wine night gatherings.” Judith lifted her chin. She had that determined look that said she wasn’t going to budge on the topic.

  “We don’t meet again until next month. At Meredith’s house.”

  “I know, but she’s not as familiar with the other girls as she is with you. I was wondering if you could have it at your house again.” Judith gave me a pleading smile.

  “But we just had it here.” I wanted to roll my eyes. I had enough shit to deal with. I didn’t need to be pressured into being a host to the wif
e of a murderer.

  “I know, but you’re closer to her than I am. I think it would make her feel more comfortable if we met here first. That way, she can get to know the other girls, and then we can have it at someone else’s house the next time.”

  “I don’t know, Judith. I’ve already got my own issues.” I didn’t want to be mean, but damn, I was in the middle of a nervous breakdown myself.

  “I know. I know.” Judith reached over and patted me on the arm. “But I think this will be good for you, as well.” She bit her lip and looked away.

  “Good for me how?” I narrowed my gaze.

  “It will take your mind off your problems, and I think that’s what you really need right now. Instead of hiding out in your house all the time.” Her lips were pressed into a firm line.

  “I don’t hide out at my house.” I did, but I didn’t want or need her opinion.

  “Look, Rachel. No one blames you for what happened with Miles.”

  “Why should they blame me? I wasn’t the one running around town cheating. It was him and Nikki.” My voice got higher.

  I caught a glimpse of something in Judith’s expression before she looked away.

  “What?”

  She shook her head and slowly lifted her gaze to me. “Nikki called me. She was wondering if she’s kicked out of the book club.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Hell, yes, she’s kicked out of the book club. I hope you told her that.”

  “I don’t know, Rachel. I mean, since this happened, everyone in town is treating her like she’s wearing a scarlet letter. I kind of feel bad for her.” Judith shrugged.

  That stung. I stood and held my fisted hands at my sides. “Do you know who I feel bad for? My kids and myself. I feel bad that I lost someone who was supposed to be my best friend, and I feel bad that I lost my husband, the man who promised in front of God to love me forever.”

  Judith stood and nodded in quick succession. “I didn’t mean to say that what she did is right. I just meant that Nikki has always struck me as someone who isn’t as mature as you. She’s always been the kind of girl with her head stuck in the clouds. She’ll leap first and then see where she lands.”

  “She landed in my bed with my husband.” I cocked my head. “Did she tell you that? That I saw them in my bed together?”

  Judith paled and shifted her weight. I knew that Nikki hadn’t been so honest. The bitch didn’t know how to be truthful.

  “What did you tell her? About wine club?”

  “I told her we were having it at your house.” She gave me a knowing look. “She said that she would give up the club.”

  “Good.” I nodded. I wasn’t ready to see Nikki, and she sure as hell wasn’t stepping foot in my house ever again.

  “Well, I guess I should be going.” Judith headed to the door and then turned. “Rachel, since you’ve got a lot going on, I can bring snacks for the soccer game.”

  “No, I can do it,” I said.

  “I know you can, but I don’t want to put any more pressure on you and…”

  “Well, you didn’t seem to mind asking me to host wine club for Carla or trying to get me to let Nikki back in.” Then I saw it. The unspoken emotion in Judith’s eyes. “Wait. Did someone say something about not wanting me to bring snacks on Saturday?”

  Judith pressed her lips together into a firm line, but her eyes grew wide.

  “Judith,” I warned.

  She let out a defeated sigh. “A concerned mother said that she wasn’t sure if letting you be around the other moms was a good idea.”

  “Why is that?” I already knew who the culprit was. I was just testing Judith to see if she would spill any more information.

  “Rachel, you know how nervous wives get when the word divorce is thrown around.” She shook her head. “They all start acting like it’s catching.”

  My stomach dropped. Here I was the victim, and now I was the outcast.

  “I see.” I slammed my mouth into a hard line again and stood.

  Judith grazed my arm in what should have been a reassuring touch. I snatched it away.

  “No one is going to keep me from watching my girls at the soccer game,” I started. Not even the sun.

  “No one wants to keep you from seeing your girls, that’s not it at all.”

  I held up my hand, and she shut her mouth. “You know what this whole situation has taught me?”

  “What?”

  “I know who my true friends are and who the fake ones are. I’m bringing snacks, and if the moms are petty enough to keep their kids from eating them, so be it. It speaks to their character. Not mine.” I walked over to the door and turned the knob.

  “Rachel, I’m sorry.” Judith gave me a look filled with regret. But I only nodded.

  I watched her walk away.

  I realized then that I really didn’t know who my friends were, and who were my enemies.

  Chapter 15

  I quickly fell into a routine. After the girls went to sleep, I would stay up. I’d gotten out my planner and looked at the girls’ soccer schedule for the next month. I figured out how many days of practice there were, and how many actual game days they had total. I figured I could drink my blood before I took them out in the daylight. The sun would weaken me, but I was hoping that drinking the cow’s blood would boost my energy so I wouldn’t fall asleep on the sidelines. Lord knew what the other soccer moms would say about that.

  The girls had practice after school today, so I was going to test out my theory. I’d let Sheila, Lori’s mom, know I would be taking my girls to practice. I needed a trial run before the game on Saturday.

  Khalan hadn’t visited me this week, and I hated to admit that I kind of missed him. I was used to having Miles in the house every evening, and now, the nights seemed terribly lonely. When I wasn’t studying my planner, I was reading divorce articles online.

  I looked up everything I could about how to help children survive divorce. A common theme said that it was important to keep relations between the parents and children positive. Change for kids was difficult, so the parents needed to remain civil towards each other.

  My fingers froze on the keyboard, and my heart sank. Hot tears rolled down my face and soaked into my robe.

  This was not the vision I’d had for my family.

  Had I given up too soon? Had I not fought hard enough to keep my family together?

  I shut my laptop and shoved away from the kitchen island. I was too depressed to continue reading articles on the internet.

  I spotted the bottle of Merlot that sat on my kitchen counter. Since becoming a vampire, I normally wasn’t interested in drinking anything that wasn’t blood. Maybe tonight I needed something else. I grabbed the bottle and a crystal wine glass. After opening the wine, I poured myself a liberal amount and walked out into my backyard.

  It was around two in the morning, and all the sounds of the neighborhood were diminished. I had stepped into a vacuum of silence. I’d never stayed up past ten before, but after becoming immortal, I was getting used to the nightlife.

  I lifted my face to the inky sky. The stars seemed brighter and actually twinkled against the midnight-blue canvas. I felt so very small compared to all the millions of stars staring back at me.

  Fear marched up my throat, and I tried to swallow. I had never felt so incredibly alone as I did right now.

  It would be Easter soon. As our family tradition, we always attended church on Easter morning, wearing bright and beautiful spring dresses. My heart thudded harder in my chest.

  This would be the first Easter without Miles. Sweat broke out on my top lip. Could I even go into a church anymore? Would I be safe? Would I burn up?

  Was I an abomination in the eyes of God?

  I turned the goblet up to my lips and drained the rest of the liquid. And then I poured myself another glass.

  I eased myself into one of the chairs and set my glass on the concrete. I laid back and tried to regulate my breathing. I chugged the
liquid hoping it would send me into a state of euphoria.

  The wine had no effect on me and didn’t calm me down. Probably because I was a vampire.

  “What in the world are you doing?”

  Khalan’s deep voice had me sitting upright in the chair. I grabbed my chest.

  I shot him a glare but didn’t bother to stand.

  “You look like an elephant having an asthma attack.” He glared.

  I gritted my teeth and scrambled to my feet. “Are you insinuating that I’m fat?”

  “No. I’m insinuating that you look like a crazy person.” He shrugged.

  “I came out here for some peace and quiet and some reflection.” I scowled and sat back down in the chair.

  “Why doesn’t wine affect me?”

  “Because you’re a vampire. Alcohol won’t get you buzzed. Ever.”

  “Or calm me down.”

  “You shouldn’t use alcohol to calm down. Besides, it’s a stimulant.” He propped himself against the pillar on the pergola and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “Aren’t you a font of information?” I took another sip.

  “You have no idea.” He narrowed his gaze at me. “Your senses should be getting sharper. Especially your hearing. You should have heard me approaching.”

  “I heard something pounding in my head. I thought it was my heartbeat. Maybe it was your fat feet,” I snarked. “What are you doing here anyway? Trying to suck some poor fool dry? I got a couple of people on my list if you are interested.” I took another long drink.

  “Like Nikki?”

  “She’d be one.” I eyed him over my glass. “Do you know her?”

  “I know she’s the one that’s been banging your husband. I know she’s married, and she’s got a nice ass.”

  I jerked my head over to him. “Nice ass? Really?”

  He shrugged. “Do you want me to lie and say she’s hideous with saggy tits?”

  “Yeah. That’s exactly what I want you to say.” I looked down at my chest and then back up at him. “Mine are way better.”

  “Yours are real.” His expression changed. A hint of something tugged at the corner of his mouth. But it was his eyes that made me shift my weight. They darkened until he was looking at me in a way that made me want to take a step back—if I were standing.