When Suzume's laughter faded away she shook her head and said, "On second thought, don't tell me why. Whatever your motivation was I don't really care. But the least you can do is take this from me." She slammed her hand against her chest.
Ryuu glanced over his shoulder, as if making sure there was no one who could overhear them. The only people around were the guards, but they were too far away to hear anything they said.
"I'm sorry-" Ryuu started to say. Suzume shook her head. She should have known.
"Don't lie to me!" she shouted, her voice echoing back at her bouncing off the walls. The guards turned in her direction now, and Ryuu stood up straighter, scanning the horizon.
"Please, if you'd just let me." He tried to grab her again, but she shot a flaming ball at him. He dodged it, but it caught onto the nearby building.
"Fire!" the guards shouted as they rushed to put it out. The flames caught quickly, spreading up the side of the building but neither Suzume or Ryuu moved. They were locked in place. Orange light and long shadows blanketed them both. Dark and light played against one another as Suzume's anger manifested in the flames she had created.
"I can't take her away. It would kill you."
She scoffed softly. "I should have known. If it doesn't help your purposes, then you won't do it. Well I'll find my own way to be free of your curse."
She turned and ran out the gates before her grandfather's men could stop her. She was never going to be free of this curse, it was obvious now. Kazue would eventually consume her or Hisato would use her. There was no escaping it, no matter how far she ran—through the fields of rice, toward the forest, or along the road. Distance and movement used to give her some sense of peace. She could fool herself into believing it made a difference.
Maybe if she kept on running, she could run all the way back to the palace. But even that didn't feel like home anymore. She was trapped between worlds now. She belonged nowhere. Still she kept on running, though she had no real direction in mind. She just wanted to be away. Running was what she was best at and maybe if she ran for long enough she wouldn't be under Hisato's control, maybe she could fight his command to kill Kaito. Suzume tripped and stumbled onto the ground. She caught herself from face-planting with her hands, but scraped her palms. She didn't even care.
She stayed like that for a moment, beating her hands on the ground until they were bloody.
She felt Noaki approach from behind without having to lift her head. Her spiritual perception was getting stronger. Just as the cuts on her hands were already scabbing over and in a few minutes would be gone as if they never existed. She was getting stronger, but she was also losing her humanity.
"Do you enjoy seeing me this way?" she asked the ground.
Noaki didn't answer. Suzume stood up and flung a flame in his direction. He dodged it with ease, and the fire burst apart in sparks on the night air. The light it created dispersed into darkness in an instant.
Out of desperation she asked, "How can a bond be broken?" She wasn't even sure what bond she meant anymore. The one that forced Kaito to do her bidding? The one that Hisato was using to make her his puppet? Or the one she despised most—her connection to Kazue, which was slowly eating away at her, turning her into something else entirely.
He didn't answer straight away as usual. The wind rustled through the trees and night animals called out to one another.
"Tell me!" she said.
"I assume this has something to do with Kaito?"
She clawed her nails into the earth. She couldn't even say it. It was as if Hisato's command forbade her from even speaking his name. She tried to nod her head but her neck remained stubbornly stiff.
"A bond is formed when a yokai's true name is invoked. And then it can only be broken if the holder of the name returns it to the yokai. Or if the other dies."
She gave a bitter laugh. Of course. I cannot be free unless I'm dead.
"How do you return a name?" It hurt to force the words out, as if Hisato was there choking her, trying to still her tongue.
"In the same way it was taken—the holder speaks the name and orders them to be free."
"Is that how Kazue captured you, by learning your name?"
"I was given to Kazue," Noaki replied. He so rarely showed any emotion, but she could see his discomfort. It was subtle, a small tightness around his lips.
Then Hisato had told the truth, Kazue really had traded Kaito for Noaki. But what was so special about the swordsman that she'd trade love for him?
"Why did Kazue need you?"
"I served the gods and she hoped to make herself into one."
"Could I free you?" She did not want to keep him bound to her anymore. What if Hisato forced her to use him against Kaito?
Noaki shook his head. "For you it is different. Our bond is unique. All yokai have a name given to them at their creation, known only to them and their creator. To have that name binds them to those who hold onto it. Kazue knew my true name, you do not."
"But I don't know Kai-" her throat closed up on his name and she corrected herself saying, "I don't know his true name. Which means we shouldn't be bound at all." Perhaps there was hope she could avoid him forever.
"What you share is different. When you absorbed his energy, a part of him fused with you. It is not so much a bond as you are imposing your will on him. He could fight it if he chose."
It has to be the same with Hisato. I just have to fight his command. I don't have to obey! But how do I do that exactly? It was a small spark of hope in an otherwise dismal situation, but she was willing to cling to it if there was a chance.
They headed back to her grandfather's palace together. When they returned, her grandfather's guards were waiting outside for her with Ryuu at their head.
Suzume braced herself for the confrontation she knew was coming. She'd set fire to her grandfather's palace after all. Noaki stepped in front of her to protect her. But she wasn't going to run away from what she had done.
"Are you going to arrest me for starting the fire?" Suzume asked him, tilting her head defiantly.
"Your grandfather was livid, but I managed to convince him to let you go," Ryuu said.
She scoffed. "Do you think I'll forgive you just for that?"
"I don't deserve your forgiveness, Suzume."
"I guess we agree on one thing at least."
"We're leaving tonight. It would seem we've worn out our welcome here." Ryuu looked around at the crowd of soldiers and Suzume's distant relatives. All of them were staring and whispering. She held her head high. Let them gossip, it didn't make a difference to her.
"Good and when we get back to the palace, I'm going to talk to the emperor about getting you removed as my guardian."
"Do as you wish, but first we must go find Izume."
"I'm not going anywhere with you."
"It is the emperor's order. You have no choice."
Had the emperor really sent her here to find her mother, or was this Ryuu's plot? She had no further reason to stay at the palace now that she knew it was impossible to remove Kazue.
"I don't take anyone's orders."
"Help me and I will teach you how to stop Kazue from taking control over you."
She narrowed her gaze at him. She couldn't trust him, could she? But he controlled a yokai and maybe there was something he could teach her that could stop her from killing Kaito.
"I'll do this, but it doesn't mean I trust you."
He bowed his head. "It's all I can ask for."
Suzume and the rest of her friends climbed into the palanquin and headed out in search of Izume. Suzume dozed intermittently throughout the night, her dreams haunted by visions of what she had seen in the forest guardian's palace. She awoke with a start come morning by a knock at her palanquin door. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and saw Tsuki smiling at her.
"Morning, sleepyhead."
Suzume gave him a dirty look before climbing out of the palanquin and giving a stretch. The soldiers h
ad made a fire and were cooking their breakfast. The scent of cooking meat wafted toward her, but it only made her stomach turn.
"We were talking while you were asleep," Tsuki announced. "We think it's time to leave the palace. We've learned all we can for now."
Suzume froze. She couldn't tell her friends she needed to get back to the White Palace to train more with Ryuu to fight Hisato's influence.
All she could manage in reply was, "What?"
Hikaru rubbed the back of his neck. "I should have told you this before, but Ryuu was the one who brought me to the White Palace and I have reason to believe that he's the one who made us this way."
She stared at him. She wasn't really mad he was keeping secrets from her, she was keeping her own, but her tone was accusatory just the same.
"And you didn't tell me."
"We weren't certain." Rin came to his defense.
Suzume waved it away. "Well I'm not going anywhere."
"We know why we are this way, but it hasn't told us how we can stop Hisato. I think it's time to focus on how we can defeat Hisato," Hikaru said.
It was the logical next step, but Suzume couldn't defeat Hisato when he had control of her.
"Not yet. I need more time at the palace."
"For what?" Akira asked. "We know why you are this way, and even with you and Hikaru it's not enough to change us back to how we were. Souta tried as well. For now, we need to focus on improving your ability. That's how we're going to set everything right."
"We can do that at the palace," Suzume replied.
"It can be done anywhere."
"We have to find my mother."
"Your mother doesn't make a difference." Akira's voice rose with impatience.
"It's my decision." Suzume stamped her foot on the ground. Her friends all saw her as a spoiled child.
"Is this because the emperor is favoring you? You have everything you've ever wanted and now you don't want to go back."
"That's not it, I-" but she choked on the words.
"I thought you were better than this," Akira said.
"Just give me more time, I promise we'll go and look for the last piece soon."
Akira shook her head, disappearing from view, and leaving Tsuki in her place. He did not seem impressed.
"I'm going to sharpen my blade." He turned to walk away.
Rin did not disguise her displeasure. "I thought you were serious about this. You left Kaito behind because you wanted to learn to control your powers. But all we've been doing is running errands for the emperor. Do you care about anyone other than yourself?"
"Of course I do!" Suzume snapped. "Do any of you care about me, and what I might be going through?"
"All we do is for you," Rin said. Hikaru placed his hand on her shoulder and they too left her behind.
Suzume crossed her arms over her chest. Let them think she was selfish. She didn't need them to stop Hisato. She'd learn how to control her power and then she'd show them all.
Noaki watched her. Though he knew a portion of the truth, he had not spoken up in her defense. She wanted to be angry with him, but it wouldn't change anything. Suzume climbed back into the palanquin and slammed the door shut. She didn't care what any of them thought. Really. She didn't. She would solve this problem on her own, as she always did.
36
According to the map, the place where her mother was hidden was less than a day from the palace in a nearby valley. There was a road that led most of the way there, but the road ended and beyond that was nothing but forest. It was a little after midday when they were getting closer to the place marked on the map. As they did, Suzume started to feel strange. The closer they got, the more her head started to spin. They had to take more breaks because she became tired easily. The fire seemed to be close to the surface as well. Rin could not maintain her humanoid form and reverted to her true kitsune form.
Tsuki and Akira were unstable, their form settling on a mixture of both their features—Tsuki's stubble, with Akira's lips and eyes. When they spoke, it was a combination of their voices overlapping one another.
"We cannot go any further," they said, leaning against a tree.
Noaki was the only one who seemed unaffected. "There are strong enchantments here. Yokai cannot get any closer." His eyes scanned the horizon.
"I think I've heard of this place," Hikaru said as he massaged his temple. "There is a hidden shrine, tended only by priestesses. I think the closer we get, the harder it will be."
Hikaru's face appeared to be bleached of all color. While Suzume felt a little light-headed, she seemed to be faring better than the others. The warrior priests and even Ryuu were not faring much better.
She would have to go on alone it seemed.
"I'll go on. You can follow if you're able," she told the group. The sooner they finished this, the sooner she could get Ryuu to teach her how to stop Hisato's commands.
"Are you sure?" Rin was panting for breath, her tongue lolling out of her jaws.
Ryuu stumbled forward and his footsteps were sluggish. "Be careful," he said.
She tilted her head up as she turned away from him. "Don't you forget your promise once we're out of here."
As she went deeper into the forest the tingling sensation only began to grow. Everything around her vibrated with power. Even the leaves on the trees seemed to be greener, and more flowers bloomed. The fragrant air smelt of earth and flowers. A river ran through a fork between two of the hills that made up the valley, and Suzume followed its twisting path to its source, which marked the shrine where her mother was supposed to be.
A thick mist rolled in and obscured her vision. Suzume had to rely on the sound of the river to find her way. After wandering around practically blind for what felt like an eternity, she emerged at the river's shore.
The shrine was on the other side of the river. Torii arches guarded a bridge which separated the valley entrance from one side, while high walls encircled it. From a distance, the temple seemed to be equivalent in size to that of the White Palace temple, which was surprising, considering this was in the middle of the forest. As Suzume started to cross the bridge, two women bearing spears stepped out from thin air to block her path.
They wore the clothes of a priestess with armor overlaying it.
"What is your business here, woman?"
Suzume sized up the two women. She could feel their spiritual energy crackling off of them, like fire. It drew her like a moth to a flame and she had to suppress the desire to take the power from them. She might be able to beat them in a fight if she wanted, but she decided the peaceful route might be better for now.
Suzume approached the women, her hands up to show she was harmless.
"I'm looking for my mother, Izume," Suzume replied.
The women shared a look. It was clear from their expressions her mother was here.
"Come with us." They gestured for her to follow across the bridge. As soon as she passed under the torri arches she felt a tingle of power.
One of the warrior priestesses nodded her head. "You were not lying."
"Of course not," Suzume said indignantly.
"If you had, the barrier would have sent you flying," the second warrior priestess replied.
She was led into the courtyard of the temple where an old woman was waiting for them. Priestesses hurrying about their chores stopped to stare. She imagined it was like the temple shrine she had been briefly training at. They probably rarely had outsiders here.
One of the warrior priestesses went up to the old woman and whispered in her ear. The old woman's hair was completely white, and she wore it in the traditional way of the priestess with a single white tie. She watched Suzume as the priestess whispered in her ear.
"So, you are Izume's daughter."
"I am, and I would like to see her."
"You will, but that is not how things are done here. There are impurities on you. Before you can enter the inner shrine, you must be cleansed."
"Are you
saying I'm dirty?"
The old woman turned to walk away, while another priestess came and directed Suzume to a nearby building where a large trough of water awaited. Suzume was stripped down to her underclothes despite her protests and then dumped with icy cold water.
"Was that really necessary?"
The priestess who'd done the dousing made no comment as she handed Suzume clean priestess garb to change into. With her only privacy being the priestess’s back turned, Suzume changed her clothes.
Once she was purified, Suzume walked through a second torri arch into an open garden beyond. A large tree dominated the center of the space and seated beneath it, wearing the clothes of a priestess, was her mother. Izume glanced up at her. As Suzume approached, her expression was perfectly serene. Knowing she was here hadn't prepared Suzume for their reunion. She hadn't seen her mother since her selfish actions had banished her. And meeting Ryuu, knowing what she did, it only made her hatred of her mother grow.
"What are you doing here?" Izume asked.
"That's all you have to say after you've ruined my life?" Suzume spat after her.
"What would you have me say?" Her words cut through her like a hot knife. There was no caring or affection in her tone. Not like her father who she'd been ripped from by this woman.
"Maybe you could show the least bit of concern for your child? Or do you only think of yourself?"
Her mother stood and strode toward her, hand raised to slap her for her insolence, but before she could the fire erupted along Suzume's skin.
Izume stared at the flames that were engulfing her oldest child. "Then it's true. You've broken the seal."
"Then it's true you knew all along." It only fueled her anger further. A part of her had been hoping Ryuu lied and that her mother had been innocent in everything.
"Of course I knew," Izume said with a shake of her head, as if Suzume was the world's greatest fool. And maybe she was for holding onto any faith in her mother.
"Did you and Ryuu plan this together? Were you hoping I'd be born a son and you could put me on the throne?" Now she could see every horrible thing said about her had been true. Her mother was nothing but a power-hungry, selfish monster.
The Song of the Wind Page 25
