"How do you know that name?" Izume's eyes were wide from fear. It was the first time Suzume had actually seen her mother afraid.
"I came to bring you back." She threw out her hands, fire erupting from her digits. A crowd of priestesses had come to watch. They whispered behind their hands to one another. Izume watched them from the corner of her eyes.
"Let's speak alone," Izume said.
"There's nothing to say. Let's go."
"There are some things we must talk about first," Izume said.
"There's nothing you can say to try and redeem yourself," Suzume said, glaring at her mother, daring her to try and fight her on this point.
"Don't make that face. It’s ugly," her mother hissed.
Suzume only scrunched her face up more to spite her mother, who only rolled her eyes in response.
"I did what I had to protect you," her mother said in exasperation.
"Protect me from what?"
"Your power. It was never meant for you."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"It was meant for me."
There was a murmur from the crowd, and Suzume glanced at them. She should have known her mother would have turned this into a performance. She was always good at entertaining a crowd. But it was too late to make their conversation private.
Izume lowered her gaze, her expression wistful. "I met Ryuu when I was a girl. He was sent by the emperor to serve my father. It was love at first sight, for me at least. I was a scrawny girl, prone to falling over my own two feet. I doubt he knew I even existed at first."
Suzume scoffed. "Is this really time for a story?"
The priestesses had drawn in closer to better hear Izume's story, standing back only just enough to leave Suzume and her mother in the center of the circle. If Izume was anything like how she had been at the palace, she'd likely wooed all of these women to love her—perhaps by telling them stories of love. Suzume shook her head. They were all fools.
"I convinced him that I wanted to learn swordsmanship in an attempt to get closer to him. I was miserable at it, and we both knew it. But he was patient and never gave up on me. Little by little my skill improved, much to my father's chagrin." She smiled to herself. It was an alluring gesture, one that Suzume had seen her use before. Izume was a master of manipulation. She was drawing them all in with her tale, with her sly glances. But Suzume wasn't going to fall for it. This was her way of buying time. She didn't want to leave and Suzume needed to find out why.
She kept her arms crossed over her chest and glowered. "Are you done with your sob story?"
Izume continued on, ignoring her daughter. "I told myself on the day I beat him in a sparring match, I would confess my feelings for him. But the day never came. Your grandfather had other plans for me—the crown prince, your father." Izume was trying to win her over.
But Suzume only rolled her eyes in response. There was no stopping her it seemed. She should have known Izume would make a scene.
"He was looking for a wife and I was put forth as a candidate. You see, once you become a candidate you belong to no one else." She said this for the benefit of the priestesses who practically had hearts in their eyes. They were all hanging on her every word. Then to Suzume she said, "Your grandfather thought that I would be made empress. Oh, how I fought him on that." She shook her head.
"Fate is cruel because in the end, I lost both the man I loved and the crown, becoming the emperor's second wife."
The girls murmured their disappointment to one another. Izume stopped, giving her story dramatic pause, letting the listeners feel her sorrow, her lowest moment.
"What does this have to do with me?" Suzume asked, impatient with her mother's sad love story. She may have swayed these girls, children really, but Suzume knew her real intent, Izume was painting herself as the victim of fate.
Izume waved off her temper. "I was getting to that." She smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in her hoari before continuing. "Though I was second wife, I found a second chance at love with the emperor. During the competition to become empress we'd drawn closer. And as the years went by our bound became only closer. But the empress was jealous of us and when I became pregnant with you, Suzume." She nodded toward her, "At first she spread a rumor that the child was not the emperor's. But I had been with no other man. When the emperor refused to believe that, she took more drastic measures."
The priestesses had moved very close now, any sense of propriety forgotten as they crowded around Izume bumping against Suzume's shoulders. She shoved a girl who glared at her before turning to Izume to hear the next part. They were devouring her every word as if it were a rare delicacy. The fools.
"The empress bribed a servant to put poison in my food. As a result, my labor pains came too soon. I labored for over a day, making no progress. I began to bleed and they feared I would die." She took a shuddering breath. "I can still see it all when I close my eyes." She closed her eyes as she said this. "And then as I lay dying, Ryuu came to me. My beloved. He had a stone in his hand which glowed with spiritual energy.
"'If I give this to you, it will save your life, but you may lose the child,' he'd said. I refused. I'd rather die that you should live." Her voice rose with dramatic emphasis and a false motherly affection. Suzume couldn't meet her gaze and turned away from her. She wasn't going to fall for her lies. Never again. "But he insisted that if I did not take it we both would die. He forced me to swallow the stone, it fused with my body and I was on fire. I was a living inferno, blazing with heat." She clutched at her chest, reliving those phantom pains before them all. Then her hand slowly fell to her side, and her eyes were closed. "But as quick as it had come, the fire passed through me and in a few more moments you were brought into the world. Screaming and kicking, full of passion." She reached out to brush Suzume's hair behind her ear. Suzume moved out of her reach and Izume's hand fell to her side once more.
"For the first year of your life everything was wonderful. The empress had a second son, but it did not matter to me. I had my beautiful girl and I was happy. But around the time of your first birthday, things took a turn. The true nature of the stone revealed itself." She turned her head to the sky. "One night, I woke to the smell of smoke. The palace was on fire. I tried to reach you but the flames were too high. I was forced out into the night and watched as the fire burned. I wept, thinking I had lost you." She placed her head in her hands as if she were reliving the memories.
It wasn't until Ryuu came out with you in his arms that I realized he was not human, and you were different as well." She met Suzume's gaze. "That was when Ryuu told me that the flame stone he had used to save our lives had fused with your soul and unless we bound your power, you would continue to destroy unchecked. I feared for your life, so what else could I do? I let him bind you. And from there on out, you were as a normal child should be. At times I forgot that you were any different."
There was a hush that fell over everyone as Izume finished her story.
Suzume clenched her hands into fists. "And you never thought to tell me any of this before?"
"What difference would it have made?" she asked, her voice rising with accusation.
"All the difference. At least I would have known why I am this way! Is that why you sent me away, because you couldn't stand the sight of me anymore?"
Izume shook her head. "It's not like that. Things were changing at the palace. I had to protect you."
"Protect me how?"
Anger blazed on her beautiful face. The priestesses were whispering to one another. Her illusion of a loving mother shattered. "You are as ungrateful as ever. I gave up everything to keep you safe."
"You never cared for me at all. That entire story was to paint you as a loving mother. But all you wanted was your own happiness. I know you traded me to Akio to win the emperor's heart."
Izume froze, caught in her lie. "I did, but I would never have given you to him."
She shook her head. "Why was Ryuu there? The night of the fir
e?"
Izume's face lost some of its color.
"You were together, weren't you?"
"I hardly see how that matters."
Suzume's flames erupted from her body. "It matters because your affair ruined my life. And have you once apologized for it?"
"Please, you have to understand. I love Ryuu."
She shook her head. "I don't need your excuses."
Suzume turned and ran away from her mother. Everything that had happened to her was because of her mother's own selfishness. She'd known it all along but it didn't hurt any less.
37
The temple was an interconnected series of buildings. There were barracks where the priestesses lived, meeting rooms where they congregated to meditate, and a place where they cooked and ate their meals. There were also gardens where they grew their own food. And at the center of the temple, a shrine. She was so distracted by being angry at her mother, she'd almost forgotten why she'd come there at all. And if her mother's melodramatic tale was any indication, she would likely not be leaving willingly. Instead Suzume walked around, hoping her temper would cool enough that she could reason with her mother. Eventually she found herself standing outside the shrine. The entire place vibrated with power, and being this close to the center of the shrine, and the heart of power here, Suzume found herself drawn to it. Kazue, as always, was seeking more power.
As a general rule, she stayed away from temples or shrines. She had too many unpleasant experiences at any place of power. Suzume turned to leave, but as she did, she felt like something was calling out to her, leading her into the temple. Curious, she walked up the steps to the shrine.
The outer-most room was empty but for a young girl who was bent over polishing the floor. When Suzume entered she stopped her cleaning. The girl appeared to be close to Suzume's own age, maybe a bit younger. But there was something in her gaze; her eyes were ancient and powerful. Perhaps it was a trick of the shrine, or the lingering power of the gods who dwelled here, but Suzume found herself drawn to the girl.
"Have you come to pay your respects to the kami?" she asked.
From her time at the mountain shrine, she knew how seriously priestesses took their worship of deities. If she refused she'd insult her. I guess it couldn't hurt to at least pretend to pray.
"Uh—sure."
The girl set aside her rag and stepped aside so Suzume could approach the inner sanctum. The inner sanctum was separated by doors which folded back. Unlike most other shrines Suzume had visited there were eight effigies depicted. Eight paintings on the wall. It seemed strange that there would be a shrine dedicated to so many kami.
"Who do you worship at this temple?" Suzume asked.
The girl gazed lovingly at the eight portraits of the gods on the wall. "The Eight."
"I thought the gods were jealous of one another. I've never heard of them sharing a shrine before."
The girl laughed, and it was a sweet sound. "Perhaps if they knew they would not be pleased."
Suzume raised her eyebrows in question. At the mountain shrine where Suzume had briefly served, the priestesses there were devout believers that the god of the mountain dwelled in their shrine. Suzume, though not necessarily a religious person, assumed all priestesses thought the kami to be present in their shrines.
"What do you mean they don't know?"
The girl turned to Suzume. "The Eight were defeated by our founder, Fujikawa Kazue. They no longer walk this earth but we pay our respects to them here."
The paintings depicted the first eight gods. They were the most powerful and those that Kazue had captured in her quest to become immortal.
"We believe she will return to us someday, and lead our people once more." The girl pressed her hands together and bowed her head in prayer toward the kami.
Suzume scoffed. If only Kazue could come back and clean up this mess.
Her face was so young but when she looked at Suzume it was if she could see more than the surface of things.
"Sorry. I have something in my throat," Suzume lied. There was something about this young priestess that put her ill at ease.
She seemed appeased and walked up to a small pedestal beneath a painting of an imposing man. She'd seen him depicted before, the Lord of the Sea, Kaito's creator and Ai's father. Waves burst from the ocean beneath his feet, and his expression was fierce and thunderous. The girl filled the basin beneath his painting with a pitcher of water that had been set down on the ground.
"You do not believe and yet you are touched by the divine," the girl said as she filled the basin.
The painting in front of Suzume had caught her attention. Though she had never seen her face before, she knew who it was meant to be straight away. The kami depicted in the painting was serene yet powerful, flames burst from her hands, and her bright crimson hair seemed to burn. The Lady of Flame, the goddess whom Kazue had bound the flame of her soul with. Her power was within Suzume, along with Kazue's soul.
The girl lit a stick of incense beneath the painting.
"It's not that I don't believe. I just wonder what she would do if she came back," Suzume replied.
The girl continued to fill the different bowls with offerings like fruit and meat. The final painting depicted a dark figure. Almost his entire face was obscured in shadows and only his eyes were visible as two glowing orbs. The priestess placed bones in his basin. The darkness of that painting made her think of Hisato. A cold chill ran down her spine. She knew she shouldn't have come into this shrine.
The girl finished placing her offerings and then bowed her head, her hands pressed together. Even though Suzume knew the gods were no longer among them, she still felt a touch of power in this place. Perhaps Kazue had imbued it with her power before she left, because Suzume felt her body crying out for it.
"I think she would want to heal the world," the girl said after she finished her prayer.
Suzume scoffed again.
"You doubt that as well."
She shouldn't destroy this woman's beliefs. It wasn't her place. But she was feeling bitter about her situation lately and she said, "Kazue only craved power. If she were to return, I am certain she would continue on her quest to become immortal."
"There are many facets to every person. What you see is only one side of the story from your own perspective."
Suzume rolled her eyes. She was being lectured by a child. "Sure."
"You should give your mother a chance. She does not show it but her heart aches over what she has done to you."
Suzume stood up. "Thanks for your advice, but you don't know anything about me and my mother."
"I may not know Izume well, but I am gifted at seeing people's hearts. And I can tell both you and she carry many wounds that together you could heal."
Suzume crossed her arms over her chest as if she could stop the girl from peering into her soul by doing so. "Any wounds I have she inflicted upon me! You want me to feel sorry for her?" She forced a laugh. "You're insane."
"And so her father did to her. The expectations of our parents can weigh heavy on the child."
"Did my mother put you up to this?"
The girl shook her head slowly. "I saw your heart was hurting and I wanted to help you heal."
"You can't heal me. I'm too broken to fix." The ugly truth spilled from her mouth without her meaning to. This went beyond her mother's selfishness, that was only a part of it. She was terrified of the power inside her that she could not be freed from and the fate she couldn't escape.
There was a long silence, and then the priestess said with a sigh, "Humans are flawed. It is what makes them beautiful. Once you see that your mother and you are more alike than you think, you will understand. She has lost much as well."
"I won't ever see her as anything other than a selfish monster."
"You don't mean that."
"I do." Suzume stamped her foot and flames erupted. But before her fire could catch flame, spiritual energy poured out of the girl, both calming and famil
iar. It wrapped around Suzume like an embrace, extinguishing both her flame and her anger. She was left staring at the singed floor. There was a momentary confusion in her expression. But she shook it off quickly.
"I'm sorry. The Head Priestess tells me I shouldn't use my power in that way, but I-"
Suzume shook her head. "No, I'm glad you did it." If she hadn't Suzume would have lost control entirely.
"I should go." She turned to walk away, but it turned into a run. She didn't want to face what the girl had said, or the truths about herself she had uncovered. As she fled the temple, however, she found Izume where she had left her, sitting under a large tree with her head tilted up watching the leaves fall gently downward. It would be easier to walk away and ignore what the priestess had said but she needed Izume to leave with her.
She marched up to her mother, who tore her gaze away from the tree. There were tears along her lashes and she turned away to discreetly wipe them.
"Ah, Suzume, I was coming to find you."
"Spare me the theatrics. I came here to bring you back to the White Palace, so let’s go."
She shook her head. "I cannot go back there."
"Why not?"
Izume faced the river, which was burbling just on the far end of the garden. "Your grandfather is trying to make your brother emperor. He'll kill the emperor to have his way. If I go back he'll use me to find your brother and carry out his plans. Hiding was the only way to stop him."
Ryuu had said that her grandfather was ambitious, and she knew he'd made the deal with the yokai and likely Hisato. Maybe it was due to what the priestess had said, but she wanted to believe her this time.
"What about the rumors about your affair, are they true?"
"Don't be crude."
"That's the least you could do for me after everything that's happened."
"Yes." She wouldn't meet Suzume's gaze.
"Is the emperor even my father?"
Izume stood up and smacked her hard against the face. Suzume reeled backward from the blow.
The Song of the Wind Page 26
