The Guy in the Window

by Cara Dee

  He chuckled huskily and slid his hand down my chest. “What happened to no acts, no role-play, no extra indecency?”

  Maybe it wasn’t an act. Maybe it was plain desire and diving into something dark and forbidden I hadn’t known existed, much less thought I’d be into.

  “Right now, I’m thinking of sucking my uncle’s cock,” he murmured. “Of tying him to the bed and fucking myself on him until he comes deep inside me.”

  I moaned and pushed a finger into him harder.

  “More,” he demanded, out of breath. “Two fingers.”

  I obeyed him as I pressed my erection against his thigh. “You’re so tight.”

  “Imagine how you’ll stretch me out to fit your cock.” His voice came out like gravel, the rasp turning me on beyond belief. “Imagine coming into my room at night, slowly lifting the covers, and seeing me naked.”

  I fingered him deeper and couldn’t help but grind against him.

  “Imagine standing there,” he whispered, “in the dark, jerking off and watching me sleep.”

  Fuck! His fantasies hit so close to what had been reality for me.

  He kissed me with brutal force, teasing the edges of my waistband but never releasing me from my boxer briefs. It was pure torture. Just when I thought he was going to touch me, he moved away and ordered me to insert a third finger.

  When I did, he moaned into the kiss and began stroking himself.

  I had to look. I had to.

  His breathing picked up as mine did. “Are you needy, Ev?”

  “So fucking needy,” I groaned.

  “Do you wanna fuck your nephew?”

  I nodded and couldn’t wait another second. “I have to. I have to be inside you.” I rolled on top of him and hurriedly pushed down my underwear. “I’m sorry, I can’t wait.”

  “Shh, it’s okay, baby. Take your boy. Take me.”

  Driven by a frantic urgency, I rubbed the head of my cock through the slickness of the lube, stroking it into my skin, then started pushing. Not carefully enough. I apologized. I apologized over and over, but I couldn’t stop. I had to take him; I had to fuck my boy.

  All the air left my lungs when I buried myself to the hilt.

  Adam let out the quietest whimper, and the sound turned my world upside down.

  I’m so sorry.

  You feel too good.

  I had to have you.

  I pulled out slowly and watched him through hooded eyes. His neck strained with a hard swallow, and he ghosted his palms along my biceps. Even though it was clear that he was in pain, I pushed in again.

  “Oh God,” he groaned.

  “I’m sorry.” I kissed his neck. I liked the spot below his ear, then sucked his earlobe into my mouth.

  “Don’t apologize,” he croaked. “Take me, Ev. I need it too.”

  “But I’m hurting you.” And yet…I set a pace he wasn’t ready for.

  He shook his head, eyes closed. “You’re not the only one being brought back to life. The burn—fuck me harder. I wanna feel you for a week.”

  As if I hadn’t already lost the last shred of composure. All I could do was obey him. I fucked him deep and hard, and his hands roaming my back in an oddly affectionate and comforting manner sent shivers upon shivers through me.

  “I won’t last long.” I gathered his legs around my hips and drove in deep at a better angle, and that did something to Adam. He cried out and immediately lifted his head to kiss me.

  “Just like that,” he panted against my mouth. “Keep doing that until you come. Oh, fuck.”

  Spurred on by his evident pleasure, I grabbed on to the headboard and began fucking him in earnest. The new angle also gave me a better view of him. I stared hungrily as he reached for his cock and stroked himself quickly, features drawn tight, his cock hard as a rock and leaking arousal.

  He was the sexiest, most beautiful human being I’d ever laid eyes on.

  And I was losing my battle fast.

  Without the ability to stop, and with my orgasm already looming over me, the end was in sight. Along with it, anxiousness. This couldn’t be a one-time thing. He wasn’t a rebound. Life couldn’t be so cruel.

  Moments later, Adam tensed up and sucked in a sharp breath. Time slowed down, and I got to experience the most erotic sight. Adam coming. Spurts of come shot out of his cock and landed on his chest, flooding the air with a scent that pushed me too far.

  My mouth watered, and then I lost. I groaned and felt my eyes flutter closed. Explosions of pleasure set off within me, and I rocked jerkily into Adam’s tight ass and came. Thick pulses of come made my cock throb inside him, and he clenched down. Hard.

  If this was what sex was supposed to be, I’d never had it before.

  The unbridled euphoria, the passion, the animalistic behavior he’d drawn out of me…were things I didn’t know existed.

  I was possessed.

  Ev looked so peaceful lying there on his stomach. One arm under his pillow, his back exposed, and one knee poking out from under the duvet.

  Shell-shocked was a more fitting term to describe my state.

  There was something seriously wrong with me. He’d made it perfectly clear that I was his first experience with a man, and what had I done? Gone zero to sixty after one kiss.

  I wanted to join Ev in bed again; I wanted to cuddle up in his arms and pretend we were some happy-go-lucky couple, but I couldn’t. I’d crossed some fucked-up lines with him tonight, and so I stayed here, sitting in the chair in the corner of his bedroom, which I suspected he mostly used for draping ties over.

  Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees and tented my hands in front of my face, and I kept staring. I kept wincing too, whenever I thought of something I’d done to him. Good Christ, that wasn’t how you gave one a special first time. He was confused and completely new. I didn’t know what he and Melinda had done to each other, but Ev was taking his first breaths after twenty-five years of existing in a soul-sucking void. Or however long it’d been. I assumed they’d been happy at some point.

  “Fuck.” I looked down and let my fingers disappear into my hair, and I tugged at the ends.

  I’d pulled his fucking hair. It was an inch or two too short to get a good grip, but that hadn’t stopped me from yanking on it. And the way he’d responded to me… Holy hell.

  But we could get on board with some crazy shit when we were drunk.

  He was likelier to regret everything in the morning, and I would be here, remembering our chemistry, how he’d pulled at my heartstrings without realizing it, how he’d seduced me, how he’d made me lower my guard and reveal so much of myself.

  In retrospect, I understood that the friends I’d had who’d fallen for straight men at some point were better off. Because they’d known it wouldn’t lead anywhere. There was no more definite way to get closure and try to move on. Meanwhile, I’d be here for-fucking-ever, wondering maybe, maybe, maybe.

  Ev was too much for me to be able to resist. He was kind and professional, sweet and dirty, affectionate and rough, hella smart and fucking clueless. His tentative approach to life made me wanna be there to hold his hand. And spend my nights pushing him the way I’d done…

  I blew out a frustrated breath and peered over at him again.

  Just thinking about the way he fumbled sometimes had me fighting a smile. He’d done well for himself career-wise. He’d made partner and was good at what he did. He had the biggest heart too. But he was just like the rest of us who didn’t have our shit together, and I fucking loved those imperfections.

  Behind the thin veil of an uptight businessman was an awkward, loving man who was rediscovering life, who wore the biggest smile when he told you he’d had a hot dog for lunch, who didn’t hesitate to babysit, and who’d made some mistakes in his life that he wanted nothing more than to fix.

  I was royally screwed.

  Eight

  Everett

  I woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee and the slow rush of the memo
ries from last night.

  Stretching out on the mattress, I indulged in a smile to myself before my gut tightened with uncertainty. The questions came at me much too fast. What happens now, how do I feel, how does Adam feel, has everything changed, was this a mistake to him, why isn’t he here with me? I cursed and lifted my head off the pillow to check the time.

  9:13

  The headache was next. I didn’t know when we crashed last night, but it didn’t feel like we’d gotten enough sleep. Especially not Adam if he’d been up a while to make us food.

  I left my bed and winced at the headache, then located a pair of sweatpants and ducked into my bathroom. After relieving myself, I washed up and brushed my teeth and threw back two painkillers. I had half a mind to take a shower, but that would have to wait.

  I padded toward the kitchen.

  Thank fuck, he’s still here.

  He’d put on his jeans from last night and his undershirt, and the bed head gave him a freshly fucked look. I had fucked him. I shivered at the wildest memory of my life.

  “Good morning.” I eyed him for signs of regret and prayed I wouldn’t find any.

  He glanced at me over his shoulder, and his small smirk wasn’t quite enough. “Morning, sunshine.” He plated the last of the bacon and grabbed two mugs from a cupboard. “How are you feelin’?”

  “Like there’s way too much space between us.” I couldn’t say it in more of a jumbled rush, but it was the one thing I didn’t want. Adam meant too much to me. I needed him.

  I could tell he hadn’t expected me to say that, and he quirked a more genuine smile before walking over to me.

  “This better?”

  “Yes,” I whispered, touching his cheek. I leaned in hesitantly and kissed him, hoping everything was good with us.

  Adam sighed and deepened the kiss, tasting of bacon and orange juice. I shifted my hands down to his ass, reveling in having him close, and he slipped me his tongue.

  “Careful.” He winced and let out a chuckle. “Someone tore me a new one last night.”

  I backed away, worried. “I’m sorry—”

  “Oh, shut up.” He smacked another kiss to my lips. “It wasn’t a complaint.” He backed away and poured us some coffee. “I’ll get outta your hair soon. Just wanted to make sure I didn’t traumatize you last night.”

  “You have plans today?” I tried to hide my disappointment. I didn’t acknowledge the other nonsense he’d said.

  “Not really.” He shrugged and handed me a plate. Other than crispy bacon, he’d also prepared scrambled eggs and sliced tomato. “I figured you’d need space to process or something.”

  “You figured wrong.” I frowned and sat down at the table. “But I suppose I can practice not being clingy until we see each other again.”

  Adam took a slow sip of his coffee, his eyes glinting with amusement and curiosity. “Is that how you feel? Clingy?”

  I lifted a shoulder and shoveled some eggs into my mouth. “I don’t know how I feel, only that I would prefer not to know how I feel with you still next to me. Last night was…” I released a breath and shook my head. There was no proper word for it, but I went with the best one I could think of. “It was incredible. And if you’re waiting for me to regret anything, you’ll be waiting a long time.”

  He bit into a strip of bacon and watched me pensively. “You really wanna spend the day with me?”

  God yes. He couldn’t possibly miss the hope in my expression.

  “Of course I do, Adam.”

  He exhaled a laugh and sent a skyward glance, as if he were asking for strength, then faced me with a shake of his head. “You really have no clue how most dudes act the morning after.”

  I merely stared at him and bit off a piece of bacon. Of course I didn’t know how most guys acted the morning after. I’d never had a one-night stand in my life. I’d had two high school girlfriends, one in New York, and then I was with Melinda. And all my relationships had started with a date. This was completely new territory for me, though that didn’t mean I wasn’t aware of other routes to take. Being attracted to a man had thrown me off-kilter, I couldn’t deny that, and it’d given us a backward start to something I couldn’t determine. I knew, however, that had Adam been a woman, I would’ve asked him out to dinner weeks ago. Because I was drawn to him long before I saw him getting undressed in the window.

  “You do feel our chemistry, right?” I had to ask. “For me, it’s been there since day one. Actually—okay, fine, I was too nervous the first time, but after that…”

  Adam was good at shaking his head this morning, but the wonder in his eyes was reassuring. “I’m sorry, I’m still waiting for you to freak the fuck out about last night. Of course I feel it, Ev. It’s just…you’re not normal.”

  I wagged my fork at him. “Bella informed me it’s called limited edition.”

  He laughed. “Then you go and bring her up.” Sucking bacon grease off his fingers, he pushed out his chair and stood up. “You like her, don’t you?”

  What an absurd question. “She’s a wonderful girl.” I smiled and scooted back my chair when I realized he wanted to get on my lap. No one was happier about that than me. “She reminds me of when Grace was little.”

  He hummed in response and straddled me, then dipped down and kissed me unhurriedly. Just like that, all was well in the world. This was what Adam did to me. With him close, I felt…I felt whole. Sweet Jesus, that was truly how I felt. It was one puzzle piece fewer to find a place for.

  Perhaps that was a better way to start. This wasn’t only about my feelings for this young man. It was how he made me feel about myself too. And I was thoroughly enjoying getting to know the person I wanted to be, post-divorce, post-coma.

  “I wanna stay here today,” he murmured against my lips. “Bella isn’t coming back until tonight.”

  I shivered at the possibilities. An entire day—hell, he could make me lose my mind a dozen times.

  But when Adam broke away to yawn, I filed away those thoughts for later. I’d been too preoccupied with my own crap to notice how tired he looked.

  “Didn’t you sleep well?” I touched his cheek, and he turned to kiss my palm.

  His eyes glistened from his yawn. “There’s a small chance I was up most of the night thinking about how much I like you.”

  I thought my face was going to split with my smile, and I couldn’t describe the magnitude of sheer joy those words brought me.

  “Don’t give me too much hope, Ev. You’re gonna be a flight risk for a while.” He kissed me chastely and moved off me. I frowned but knew he wouldn’t take my protesting seriously. Or rather, he was in a position where history spoke louder than me, so he would be careful in the nearest future. I couldn’t blame him for that.

  I, for one, wasn’t ready to consider much of anything for the future. I wanted to live in the present. With Adam.

  The weeks leading up to Thanksgiving started off downtown with a meeting between Melinda, me, and our lawyers. With the paper trail of my ex-wife’s spending habits growing at every meeting, she and her lawyer became less confident about taking our matters to court. As we left the elevator and crossed the lobby of the firm, I knew I hadn’t heard the last of Melinda today. She was positively seething.

  “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” she accused.

  I frowned and adjusted my tie before shrugging on my coat. “Enjoying what? Making sure you can’t squeeze more money out of my pockets? Absolutely. You heard everyone upstairs. You’re getting 68% of my net worth with that house, and you haven’t worked a day in ten years.”

  The most rattling part about our divorce was seeing everything in numbers. Melinda and I had always gone fifty-fifty as parents. Whether it was taking Grace places, helping her with homework, or…whatever. One way or another, we had shared the responsibility. While Melinda certainly had taken Grace shopping for clothes and school supplies most of the time, I had attended more of the meetings at school. We’d been a good team, i
n my opinion. The difference was, I’d worked a full-time job at the same time, and I wasn’t trying to get paid retroactively for being a parent.

  I harbored a lot of resentment about this, though the majority of it was aimed at myself. Somewhere along the way, Melinda had made me fucking miserable, and I hadn’t said a word. I’d entered a fog of some sort and just moseyed along on autopilot. It infuriated me. So, regardless of what Melinda had caused, I couldn’t—and wouldn’t—hold that against her. I just wanted to leave this behind me once and for all.

  “You were right about one…” The words died on my tongue when I noticed she wasn’t next to me anymore. She was several paces behind, stewing silently and putting on her scarf.

  She’d heard me either way. “Right about what?” she muttered.

  I waited until she’d caught up. “I did leave the building while we were married. I went through the motions without being present.”

  Melinda gasped and narrowed her eyes. “I told you, Everett. And who suffered for it? Me. That’s who.”

  “No. Grace suffered.” I put on my own scarf as we reached the exit. The temperature had dropped significantly this weekend, and it was frigid outside. “You knew I didn’t want to leave the Bay Area, Melinda. Especially not permanently—and don’t bring up your goddamn grandmother. You visited her once a week when we moved back here, but you made sure to make it sound like she would depend on you.” A spark of anger flared up within me, a stark contrast to the icy cold that blasted us when we hit the busy street. “I’d have been an asshole husband if I didn’t go along with the move.” Truth be told, I felt betrayed. She’d known exactly what to say to get me to agree.

  Not that it mattered now. I’d let things go on, and I was paying for it. My daughter barely wanted to see me.

  Melinda bitched at me for painting her as the villain, which was ridiculous because I’d been the villain since she asked for the divorce. Then she’d moved on to play the woe-is-me card. She claimed I was throwing my “lifestyle” in her face, and I didn’t even know what she meant by that.