All the Tides of Fate

by Adalyn Grace

  I open my eyes to Ferrick, whose tears fall freely now, no longer trying to stay strong. I reach for him, breathless, but my hands go through air.

  A moment later I wonder … Who was I even reaching for?

  And whose blood is it that stains my hands?

  CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

  Spring is here, and change has come with it.

  Placid wind greets me as I stand on my balcony, staring past the winding rows of rainbow eucalyptus and far down at the waiting sea. It glitters like a thousand crystals in the sunlight, the most magnificent blue.

  “This is a big decision.” Behind me, Bastian sets a steady hand on my shoulder. “I hope you’re proud of yourself.”

  I close my hand over his, enjoying the warmth that diffuses through me at his touch. Because this time, he has no sway over me. Finally, we’re free to be our own people.

  Today, Bastian wears the same striking ruby coat he wore when we first met. It reminds me of the truest version of him—a roguish pirate with a hunger for adventure. It reminds me of the man I first fell for, and the one I hope to have many more adventures with. If only we can get through today.

  Though the sight of him in that coat fills my heart with warmth, it can’t distract me from the lingering sadness weighing my bones. A sorrow for something I only wish I could explain.

  As glad as I am to have things returned to the way they were with Bastian, I can’t ignore the gaping hole in my memory from the day both of my curses were broken. I can’t ignore the palace bedroom across from mine that’s sat empty for a week, lined with rapiers and herbs, with a closet full of emerald-green clothing. I can’t ignore how my eye catches the door every time I walk by, waiting for someone to go in or come out, though I can’t for the life of me remember who that should be.

  No one can remember who it should be.

  Something happened the day Blarthe was dragged into the sea. Someone must have used the serpent scale to break the Montara curse, but none of us can remember who did it or what happened.

  All I remember is that there was blood on my hands, and that none of my crew was bleeding.

  “Don’t you feel like we’re missing something?” I smooth my hands over not a sapphire gown, but loose linen pants. Today I wish not to look like Visidia’s queen, but as one of the people. “It was too easy.”

  Bastian wraps strong hands around mine, steadying them. “You call this past year easy? We faced the legendary fire serpent. The Lusca. We took down Kaven. We were poisoned and cut open more times than I can count. And still, we won.” His fingers press into my palms, warm and reassuring. “Yes, one of us must have used the scale to break the curse, but all that matters is that we’re all still here. The crew is alive and well. Our curse is broken, and we have everything we wanted. This year’s been hard enough; I’m taking what I can get.” Leaning forward, he peppers featherlight kisses onto my cheek. “You should do the same.”

  I know I should; I want to. If I was the one who broke the curse, whatever I lost that day is gone, taken by the gods themselves. I will never get it back, no matter how hard I try to remember. But my magic is back, and the Montara curse is no more.

  I’ve gotten nearly everything I wanted most—but what was the price? My family and crew are safe. My love for Visidia remains whole.

  I couldn’t have been the one to use the scale. So who did?

  “Amora?” Mother’s voice comes from the doorway. “It’s nearly time. Casem will be here, soon.”

  Freeing me from his hold, Bastian presses one last kiss to my forehead before placing a hand to the small of my back, ushering me into the room. “I’ll meet you out there, all right? You’re going to be amazing.”

  I nod, though my body stills when I notice it’s not only Mother waiting for me, but Vataea, too.

  I wasn’t the only one who changed that day on the beach. Her eyes are darker now, her words colder. I love Vataea, and I want to be there for her the way I wasn’t before. But I can’t undo what I’ve done. I can only try to move forward and hope it’s enough.

  The moment Mother spots me, she grabs my hands. Hers are bonier than they used to be, but they’re getting stronger day by day.

  “Are you sure about this?” The words are out of her so fast I can barely make out each one. “It’s not too late to change your mind.”

  But it is. After everything I’ve been through—after everything I’ve seen in this past year—I know clear as a night sky what I must do. Tonight, Visidia will finally be free.

  “We’re going to be okay.” I squeeze her hand, just once, and let the weight of Father’s absence settle between us. No longer is it an anchor upon my heart, but a reminder of all we had to sacrifice to bring Visidia the freedom it deserves.

  Though she’s coiled tight with tension, Mother nods and pulls me into her, pressing her forehead to mine. “You are the queen this kingdom has always deserved, Amora.” Her warm lips press against my cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”

  There’s too much emotion in the room. Too much pain. With a final kiss to my hand, Mother excuses herself. In her absence, Vataea seems taller, her shoulders squared and sharp chin held high and proud. She’s radiant in a sleek sapphire day gown, but there’s a look in her eyes that tells me this might be the last time I see her in Arida’s color.

  “You’re leaving,” I say, not as a question. But it stings all the same when she nods.

  “You won’t see me after your speech. Goodbyes are … messy. And they’re difficult. But it’s time for me to go.” Each of her words is a crack in my heart, one after the other. I fist my hands into my shirt, needing something to hold on to.

  “Where will you go?”

  Tears wet her dark eyelashes, but they don’t fall. “I’m not sure,” she says. “When I’m ready, I’ll find you. But I can’t be a sidekick in your adventure. I’ll remember our time together, and I’ll cherish it. But there’s an entire world out there, and I intend to see it.”

  I can’t be selfish, and I cannot cry. Because Vataea deserves this more than anything. She deserves the world, and I need to let her have it.

  “One day, I hope you’ll tell me all about it.” I reach forward, hoping, praying, that she’ll take my hand. When she does, it takes everything in me to curl my fingers around hers without letting myself fall apart completely.

  “I will.” She’s slow to draw her hand back, but it’s a relief when she does. Because if it were up to me, I’d never let her leave.

  “I’ll miss you, Vataea. But I hope you have the best adventures of any of us.” Every word is a dagger stabbing through me, over and over again until I can’t take it any longer. I’m the first to turn away, because this pain hurts almost as bad as when I lost Father. Vataea may not be dead, but she’s leaving. Another piece of my heart, gone just like that.

  I don’t turn back even at the sound of her footsteps. Not even as the door cracks open. Not even as her voice comes from the doorway, quiet but firm. “Amora?” I want to remember that honeyed voice forever. I want to embed it deep into my memory, and never let it disappear. “Call me V.”

  The door shuts and I grab hold of the bedpost to steady my trembling. This is what she wanted, and as a hesitant knock sounds at my door seconds later, I tell myself to be grateful that she gets the chance to live out her dream. Even if I’m not part of it.

  Casem waits outside, hands folded behind his back. His blue eyes watch me from beneath long blond lashes. The royal emblem that marks him as Arida’s leading adviser burns as brightly as the sun upon his sapphire blazer, almost matching the gold of his hair. He tries to smile, but his mouth skews with worry when he notices the tears in my eyes.

  “Everyone’s waiting for you. Are you ready?”

  I think of Vataea and the thousands of adventures she’s about to live. Taking his arm, I decide it’s time for my own adventures, too.

  After today, no matter what the outcome of this meeting, everything will change. But as I take one look back out m
y window to see Keel Haul waiting for me in the distance, ebbing upon pleasant spring tides, I know this is the right choice.

  The gods created me to lead Visidia—I grew up with that belief. They were some of Father’s dying words to me. Now, I believe them more than ever.

  Back in Valuka, the godwoken had warned me I’d soon be making a choice that would either lead Visidia into the future or be its demise. Today, I know our future is bright.

  We make our way farther up the cliffside, into the garden that rests at the peak of Arida. Hundreds of flowers stretch oversize petals to greet us, beautiful in the sunlight, but waiting until the light of the moon to truly flourish and reveal their bioluminescence—a sight people come from all over the kingdom to see.

  Once, I considered these gardens a calming place. Somewhere to seek refuge and beauty that doesn’t seem as though it should belong to this world. Now though, I can’t fall into their beauty so easily; too much has happened, here. This is where my journey started, and this is where it will end.

  Every color of the kingdom stands before me in the crowd, the Kers’ amethyst included. Gossip and whispers reverberate through the garden so heavily that even the plants tremble with the anticipation of today’s meeting.

  Every island’s adviser is lined up behind the throne, which sits erected in a clearing surrounded by sprouting pink mushrooms and purple flowers that have fallen from the tree above, where they hang like a crown over the gardens. Mother is there too, and Casem takes his place among them as Bastian watches from the waiting crowd. I draw a breath as I pass and take my place upon the throne. Mother fits the High Animancer’s crown atop my head. Her hand brushes gently across my cheek as she does, and our eyes lock.

  Make this life everything it should be. I hear Father’s voice in her smile before she bows and takes her place at the left of the throne. The giant eel crown sits too heavily, eating me alive as I search the crowd for the faces I need to see.

  Vataea and Bastian, standing side by side. Bastian watches with pride burning his eyes, while she offers the smallest nod.

  Mira stands nearby with Yuriel and Aunt Kalea, whose presence makes my throat tighten. Her body threatens to wilt beneath my gaze, but the time for that anger is over. I cannot blame her for what happened with Father; now, more than ever, we need to stay together. It’s time I accept she’s hurting as much as I am.

  I don’t see her true face in the crowd, but when a blond woman with blood-red eyes winks at me, I know Shanty is watching, as well.

  I try not to smile at her and begin to search for one more face. Only I don’t realize until a moment later that I’ve no idea whose face I’m looking for. In my mind’s eye, I see eyes green as emeralds and hair red as fire.

  But I don’t know who they belong to. Whoever it is, they’re not here.

  “Welcome.” I find my voice after a hesitant moment, pulling my focus back to the waiting crowd. “I’m glad for all those who could make it today, especially our friends in Kerost. I know our kingdom hasn’t been the kindest to you, so know that your presence here is truly appreciated.”

  As the many faces of my people peer up at me, the first sting of nerves settles into my bones. Gripping the arms of the throne, I let their curiosity sink into my skin and fuel my words.

  I will not waver. Everything I’ve done—every struggle and every obstacle I’ve faced—has been for this moment.

  “For centuries you’ve put your faith in the Montaras, trusting us to protect this kingdom to the best of our ability. You were told that a fearsome beast lived within the blood of my family, and that it was put there because my great ancestor, Cato Montara, the first ruler of Visidia, risked his life to save this kingdom. You were told to obey him by practicing only one magic, because otherwise that beast would rear its head and destroy Visidia.”

  I find Bastian’s face in the crowd and draw a breath at his tiny nod of encouragement before continuing. “But I’m here today to tell you the truth, because as much as I love my family, Visidia deserves better. Cato Montara was no hero; he was a thief and a liar—practicing multiple magics was never dangerous, and there was never any beast involved with soul magic.”

  I push on through the growing whispers, telling them the truth behind Visidia’s creation and the lies our kingdom was built upon. I tell them how Cato stole multiple magics through Sira, and of her cursing the Montara bloodline.

  I tell them everything, my body lighter with each passing word.

  “For everything my family has done, and for every one of my own lies, I am sorry. I can’t take back the harm that’s been done, but I believe there’s a way for us to move through it.”

  I anticipated anger and yelling. But to my surprise, the eyes of Visidia look on in anxious silence, hanging upon my every word. With shaking hands, I lift the crown from my head and cast one final look at the eel bones. For centuries this crown has been worn by nothing more than deceitful liars—Cato, Father, me.

  Never again will it sit upon the head of a Montara.

  “Let today be the day that we take back Visidia and restore this kingdom to the land it once was.” I stand with the crown in hand. “As of today, everyone can practice soul magic. All magic is freely available. As of today, no one else will ever wear this crown, or sit upon this throne! After today, there will be no king or queen. There will be no monarchy!

  “We are a kingdom of seven islands.” Each word is fervent, coming with a passion I cannot control. “And so seven leaders are what we must have. Collectively, we will work together to rule this kingdom. There will be no more blood ties—no more royals. Every two years, our people will vote for the representative they want to have leading their island, and together we will lead Visidia into the future every one of us deserves.”

  I turn to the advisers behind me, who stand with their shoulders back and chests held proud. “All those in favor, say aye.”

  “Aye.” Casem’s the first to respond, his blue eyes sparkling with pride.

  Azami echoes him immediately. “Aye.”

  Down the line it goes, one adviser after the other. Only Lord Garrison hesitates—but, not one to make himself look bad before others, he nods and answers “aye” in his gruff baritone.

  And then it’s back to me. I’m breathless, the crown trembling in my hands—at once, I know what I’m to do with it.

  With hands that hardly feel like my own, I send it crashing to the ground. The ivory-plated bones shatter into a thousand pieces, and with it goes everything I’ve ever known. Every day of my life so far.

  But it’s also the start of a new life. Not only for Visidia, but for me.

  Perhaps Mother will be Arida’s adviser. I’ll help them get started, but I won’t be in charge. My job is done, and my future belongs to the sea.

  I don’t realize how hard I’m breathing until I pull my gaze from the shattered bones to my people. They’re no longer standing. Each and every one of them is on their knees, heads bowed, cracking any remaining resolve I was desperately trying to withhold.

  This is more than I deserve, but I don’t have it in me to stop them.

  “Thank you,” I tell them through the tears I finally let fall, coming hot and fast. Our troubles are not yet over. A new Visidia is on the horizon, and with it comes a foreign new future we’ll have to figure out. Together.

  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Visidia’s future begins now.

  “Thank you for allowing me to be your queen.”

  EPILOGUE

  This day is made for sailing.

  Balmy spring air bloats the sails, and I tip my head back to savor its breeze.

  Bastian stands behind me at the helm, gathering breaths of the briny air with a grin spread wide across his face. “Where to?” His eyes burn brightly enough to challenge the stars themselves. “To challenge the Lusca to a rematch? Hike the trails of Suntosu? Drink ourselves silly in the taverns of Ikae?”

  I brush my fingers against the grainy wood of the deck, tr
ying to memorize everything about this moment, from the mist brushing against my skin to the words Bastian speaks. I lean into them, letting myself imagine the adventures that await us.

  Imagine learning to alter my appearance in Mornute. Imagine sailing to Valuka so that Azami can teach me how to create a dragon made from water. Imagine spending time with Ephra in Kerost, learning to change the ways my body interacts with time as we rebuild the island.

  The world is open to me now, and so are its magics. And I intend to learn them all.

  A whisper of winter’s memory rests in the cool air, and I shift to pull my coat around myself and sink into my comfort. But as I adjust, something in my coat crinkles and draws my attention. I reach into my pocket, to a small, folded sheet of parchment that’s been tucked away inside.

  Bastian’s still listing off all the places we should visit—Shanty in Ikae, across the sea to finally see Suntosu, and even to find a way to reach the clouds so that we might chase the legendary kingdom rumored to exist upon them. But his words are drowned out as I peel back the edges of the parchment. It’s folded so tightly that I’m careful not to rip it, even despite my trembling hands. Though I try to calm them, they won’t stop even as I hold the parchment open before me.

  Amora,

  If you’re reading this, know first that I’m sorry. I knew from the moment I saw Nelly’s memories that this is what had to be done. Visidia needs to be free, and it’s up to you to get it there.

  So I’m sorry for what I had to do. But if I’m right, I’m glad to know you won’t remember any of it. And if I’m wrong, well, I suppose I owe you an explanation. They say you must offer what you love most to get what you most want, and I can’t think of anything I love more than the time I’ve spent with all of you. My crew.

  I’d be lying if I said I don’t want you to remember me, but this is for the best. You don’t need to mourn anyone else; I don’t want you to. All I want is for you and Visidia to finally have the freedom you deserve.

  So take my gift, and be happy for it. But in return, you must do two things for me: