“I was wrong,” my father says softly.
I feel a little bit like a teenager standing there about to get grounded. I’m wearing a t-shirt again. It’s a Nirvana shirt of all things and some old jeans. Because when I got that text, Olivia and I were just lounging around at my place even as I occasionally worked and harangued Finch for more details about the breakout. Now I feel as if I was about to get grounded but have been granted a reprieve.
“Were you?” I say, crossing my arms and sniffing. I feel antsy. Nice as it is to hear my father say he was wrong about something. He stands from behind his desk and walks over to me. He’s had a little bit of a limp for a long time and it seems more pronounced today. I wonder if the stress of what happened to Aaron has made him sore today and my heart squeezes a little in sympathy.
“I was,” he says flatly. He takes a breath. He’s wearing his reading glasses and now he takes them off, rubbing his eyes. “Things are changing in the clan. In all the clans, Xander. You must know that. It’s not like it was. Old men like me, takes us some getting used to.”
“What’re you saying?” I ask him. He looks even more tired than Aaron does right now. And he looks old.
“I’m saying that you have always been true to the family and to the clan,” my dad says slowly. “You are brilliant and yes, you can be hot-headed but that comes with the protectiveness that I know you feel towards those you love. You love with your whole heart and I know it’s a big heart. But you’re too loyal and too...good for me to think that whatever this is with this Olivia Hathaway, that it could possibly be wrong or a mistake.”
“Are you serious?” I say, disbelieving.
“Xander...all this with Didion and Hardwidge...it’s the ugly side of this...this code of ours. That’s what I’ve come to realize. I feel sick about it now. That line of thinking is what almost killed Aaron. It’s what tortured that poor girl and mistreated Alice and Luna. And that line of thinking has to die. Didion has declared war. But winning it won’t just be about us beating him and his men. It will be about defeating these old, hateful ideas.”
“And the company?” I ask him, expecting him to get stern again.
“The company is…” My father laughs and shakes his head. “Xander, what business have I to tell you how to head that company anyway? You’re the one who’s made it the leader in aerospace that it is today. You’ve made it into a multi-billion dollar corporation. You should have told me off for what I said to you.”
I snort at that and just look at him. He’s about four inches shorter than me but he has always loomed large.
“You’re my father,” I say simply.
He smiles at that and nods and then he hugs me, and we embrace, firmly, patting each other on the back. I don’t know what’s ahead. But I feel a little better about things now with things repaired between me and my family. All this time I’ve been thinking that all this was on my shoulders as the alpha. But in truth, I couldn’t do any of this without their support and their belief in me. It’s never been just my strength that’s kept me going all these years even as the responsibilities piled on top of me one after the other. It’s been them helping to hold me up.
“Just tell me one thing before we go in there,” he says, nodding toward the parlor. “Do you truly resent taking over the company?” He shakes his head, looking bemused and I feel a bit mortified. In my most stressed out and darkest moments I do feel resentment that I wasn’t so much given a choice as to whether I’d take over the family business. It was absolutely expected of me.
“Oh… Um.” I sigh and scratch my head, wincing. “Sometimes I do. Other times I love it. It’s just one of those things. But I don’t...I’m not bitter about it or anything.”
“We should talk about that,” my father says, still looking bothered.
“Yeah, well…” I nod at the door. “Sometime maybe. Right now, I got a war to fight.”
“Alright,” he says, squeezing the back of my neck. “But this conversation isn’t over.”
“If you say so,” I say, chortling despite myself.
First things first, we need to know who our allies are because I need to hold a meeting of all my alphas and elders but I’m not about to invite over everyone since I’m absolutely sure that not everyone is on my side. My father and I return to the parlor and my brothers and I start making calls, feeling people out. A lot of it is instinct. We start with our known, deepest, oldest allies and ask them what they know. I already know some people I can definitely skip. I’m not even going to bother calling anyone who voted for Didion to be released from Mulligan and that’s a whole bunch of people. A few people call me before I get a chance to call them, quickly hearing about the explosion through the grapevine once we start making phone calls. It doesn’t take long. But it feels good to get those calls from the diehard who swear their fealty even if it means they’ll have to fight against people they’ve casually socialized with. A few of the biggest packs are definitely on my side. That’s good. It brings the numbers up if there’s a real fight.
I can’t help but think that at some point, Didion is going to make an attack on the estate. I just don’t see it not happening. He’s trying to take us down. That much is clear.
After a lot of phone calls and long conversation and way too much coffee, we all break for dinner. Dinner is some kind of wine beef stew tonight and at first I have to make myself eat it but soon enough I’m scarfing down thirds. Weirdly, I’m feeling pretty good. I think it’s the wolf in me; the true alpha. I’m comfortable with a fight. At least fights are clear cut. You’re on my side or you’re not. Protect the pack and anyone who tries to hurt it is the enemy. It’s not complicated and it tells me at whom I am baring my teeth.
In between, I find a few times to text Olivia to make sure she knows I’m safe. I feel conflicted about her being there alone in my house now. It’s safe, sure. But I don’t like thinking of her as separate from the family. We both know she’s my mate now. It’s beyond any doubt. That means she’s family and she should be here.
“Invite her,” Mason says, nudging me at the dining room table. We’ve all got our phones out even as we try to eat and talk to each other all at the same time. The women too look as fired up as anyone else and I see Luna looking especially pissed off. I wouldn’t want to tangle with her if I was Didion or one of his men, that’s for sure.
“Mason…” I frown at my phone. “I have to stay here but… Do you think you could go pick up Olivia for me?”
“Yeah?” Mason says. It’s nearly eight now. It’s just barely dark but there’s no way I’m letting any of us travel alone right now, especially when Olivia can’t shift. “I think that’s a good idea. She should be here.”
“We all know why we’re here,” I say later, standing in front of the gathering of elders and alphas all crowded into my father’s study. My father is here too, standing right beside me with my brothers. He’s an elder but he hasn’t been involved much in pack or clan decisions for a while. I took it as him leaving me to take the lead without the intimidation of his shadow and I always appreciated that part of it. But now is a time to show Tremblay solidarity and I only feel stronger with him and my mother at my side with my brothers. Olivia is here too, though she’s sitting in the back of the room because I don’t want to make it obvious who she is or have anyone bother her. Honestly, I didn’t want her at this meeting at all for her own sake, but she insisted.
“We’re here,” I say, my voice thundering under the vaulted ceiling of the library, “because a once vaunted alpha of this clan has declared war on my family, my pack, and depending on the loyalty of all who gather here, on this clan. This afternoon, there was an attempt made on the life of my brother, his mate, and their young pup…”
Everyone’s eyes turn to Aaron and then to Michelle and Trevor sitting on a chaise near him. Michelle looks stoic and I see Aaron reach over to squeeze her hand.
“They used a powerful explosive to blow up his car,” I say, my voice shaking wit
h anger. “The only reason my brother isn’t dead right now, is sheer instinct and dumb luck. What I need to know first, before anything else is said, is if anyone here knows anything about who Jack Didion might be working with or who he has allied himself with. If any of you have information, stand up now.”
I cross my arms, looming over all the alphas and elders sitting there in the folding chairs the butler set out for them and eating the cheese and crackers that my mother put out with tea because God forbid even a war meeting occur without refreshment.
A young alpha I don’t know very well named Griffin from Bellingham gets to his feet and says, “I know something.”
The kid can’t be more than twenty. He’s got to be a pretty green alpha and Bellingham is so far up north, I can’t think it’s got much to do with Didion but that doesn’t mean he might not know somebody who knows somebody and I give him a nod. “Alfred Griffin,” I say, for all to hear, “tell us what you know then?”
The kid looks petrified but there is a fire in his eyes and he says, “I know what everyone here knows. Which is that the most powerful leader in our clan, Xander Tremblay, is mated to a human woman, Olivia Hathaway, supposed daughter of Jack Didion-”
There’s an eruption of shouts and gasps and grumbles at that and rage courses through me, especially when I catch Olivia’s gaze across the room and see her looking so troubled.
“She is not the supposed daughter of Jack Didion,” I say, clenching my fists to stop myself shifting and mauling the boy until I feel better. “She is the actual daughter of Jack Didion. Anyone who knows the details of Didion’s attempt to gain probation, knows that he did not deny keeping his daughter hostage and experimenting on her in the name of breeding shifters, torturing her for years and holding her against her will…” I see Olivia is about to cry and I stop, taking a breath. Going over and over that can only upset her more. “She is human, yes. And…”
Everyone is staring at me. I suddenly feel the weight of generations of expectation on my shoulders but I also feel my love for my mate tugging at me. I feel as if I’m being pulled in two directions, as if all of this will tear me apart until there is nothing left.
“And if the fact of Olivia Hathaway being human is enough to make you forget that Jack Didion attacked my sister-in-law and just attempted to kill my brother and her and their son, then you don’t belong here and I’ll be happy to see you go. And if I meet you on the field of battle, I will not forget the choice you’ve given me.”
There’s a kind of hush that falls over the whole room, not just because I’ve made a potential threat but also because I haven’t confirmed or denied that Olivia is my mate.
An elder named Santino from Spokane stands. Elders are always a lot more diplomatic and this one is smiling kindly before he speaks, everyone quieting so he can be heard.
“Xander,” Santino says slowly, “do we know conclusively that this was Didion’s work?”
“We don’t,” I say, inwardly calming myself. It’s a totally fair question. I have no proof at all as obvious as it all seems. “The timing would strongly suggest it, given Didion’s history with my family and that I’ve just testified against him. I’m sure you all know that he’s reported to have broken out of Mulligan as well, along with several men from the Hardwidge pack in Oregon. Obviously that pack also has a vendetta against my family. All this would seem to suggest an alliance between them.”
“I agree with you,” Santino says, looking me in the eye. “I also don’t believe that Xander Tremblay who has been an accomplished and stalwart alpha for nearly twenty years, needs to prove his loyalty to this clan for us to stand behind him. Xander, would you move to put us on a war footing right now?”
I take a deep breath. Everything in me wants to say “yes” but I know how alphas can be. We’re all a bit hot-headed. The ones who might have a problem with me but can be won over to fight a war need to be eased in. I glance at my father and his steady gaze gives me an answer. Wisdom is more important than strength, he used to tell me. That’s why we have elders in the first place.
“I think we need to return to our packs,” I say slowly, “and prepare to be on a war footing. Circle the wagons, gather our foot soldiers… I imagine if there is a target, it is this estate but if you are a close friend or ally of my family, you might send your pups and those who cannot fight somewhere safe for the time being.”
“Shall we take that to a vote?” Santino says.
Everyone agrees to vote and the decision passes. This basically means, I’m going to need to send my brothers out and find out in private who is with me and who isn’t. No one but an angry little green alpha like Alfred Griffin is going to put himself out there and risk being mauled on the spot.
When the meeting is over though, and they all start to leave, even after more than half of them waiting to speak to me and pledge their loyalty, I don’t feel much better. Olivia finds me when they’re all gone and kisses me and tells me I did great and when I thank her, I feel like a complete asshole. I didn’t stand up for her. I didn’t stand up for my mate. Yet I don’t know how I would have done so with centuries of expectation on my head.
I wonder if, by the time this is over, I’ll really have been torn in two.
Chapter Thirteen: Olivia
“I can’t believe I’m at work,” Xander says, giving me an aggrieved look as we ride up in the elevator on Monday.
“Yeah, I was wondering what you were doing here,” I say, leaning against him a little. “Thought you’d be at the estate, ya know...plotting.”
“Strategizing,” Xander says.
“Fine, strategizing.” I roll my eyes but I can’t help worrying. A lot. About all of this craziness. “This is my first shifter war. Don’t know all the correct terminology.” I shift on my feet and run a hand through my mass of curls. Since we’re blessedly alone in the elevator and nearly to the seventh floor, Xander takes advantage and slips an arm around my shoulders, kissing me on the cheek. I’m wearing trouser jeans and a black t-shirt with a colorful sweater today. It’s my compromise on work wear since Xander seems upset somehow that I wasn’t dressing like myself. I guess I need all the breaks I can get to concentrate on work today. I can’t imagine how Xander is handling it.
“My brothers convinced me come in,” Xander says, sighing. “They think I’ll go nuts if I sit at the estate waiting to either make a move or for Didion to make another one.”
“Why don’t you make a move then?” I say, raising an eyebrow.
“Well,” he says with a snort, “for one thing, I don’t know where they are. I’m also not entirely sure who they all are. My instinct is to attack first and ask questions later. That worked for saving Mica and Luna. It’s not going to work for this war.”
“Sounds wise,” I say, returning his kiss on the cheek. I pull away quickly as the doors open and we step out onto the floor. I’m still worried though. Xander has too much on his plate on a good day and Tremblay Company is a little precarious right now. “Are you going to be alright?”
Xander avoids my eyes but he shrugs and puts on his what is obviously a pretence of nonchalance. “Sure thing. Call you if I need you.”
“Do that,” I say sternly, so he knows I’m not joking. He nods at that and heads to his office and I watch him go. I have a feeling he’s not nearly as fine as he’s acting.
Before lunch, I get a memo from Xander going out to everyone in the company including the shareholders and board that the Godrun drone has been not just suspended but that all future manufacturing of it is cancelled. Something about it seems too alarming and I suck in a breath. The shareholders were already panicked enough about the suspension but he’d suggested that once they were able to work something out with a more ethically run altanium distributor or if they figured how to build it with a different metal, the drone would be manufactured and sold.
This would suggest something completely different. The Godrun drone design is so stealthy and potentially lethal, that I didn’t want i
t made at all and one glance online shows that lots of people who know about it don’t, including some shareholders. But to cancel it so abruptly via email…
Something isn’t right.
I jump up from my desk and everyone else on the office floor is looking slightly panicked and glancing towards Xander’s office which has the door shut and the blinds drawn.
I knock on the door and say, “Xander, it’s me.” It takes a minute but the door opens a crack and I slip inside, shutting it behind me.
Xander looks like a mess. He’s clearly had some kind of freak out since I left him at the elevator that morning. His eyes are wide and rimmed red and his hair is a mess like he’s been tugging at it. He turns away from me and sits behind his desk, swivelling around to look out the window.
“It was wrong,” he says quietly. “You were right. It was wrong. It’s wrong...I’m wrong.”
I take a deep breath and sit across from him. He’s muted his desk phone but I can see every single line lit up like Christmas as his cell vibrates like crazy on his desk. I can see email after email appearing in his Outlook on his computer screen.
“Did you have a panic attack?” I ask calmly.
He nods once and says nothing.
“I’m a fighter,” Xander says quietly. He won’t look at me while he speaks. He’s staring out the window at his sprawling view of Quinton. “But I hate war. Always have. It’s because I remember when I was a boy and my father had to go fight to defend some territory from some other clan… I was always so afraid for him. My mother was strong but she was afraid for him too. I was expected to be strong for my brothers...as the future alpha. But every time he had to go fight, I was afraid he wouldn’t come back. And sometimes it was one of his friends who wouldn’t come back but he did and I was happy. I hated being happy that someone else had been killed. I hated being happy that some other pup had just lost his father. Yet I love to fight, I love the rush of it. But I hate war. Both these things are true.”
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