Hexes and Exes

by Sarina Dorie

  She pressed her wand to my neck, leaning in close enough I could smell her stinky perfume. “If you ever volunteer our room for students to sleep in again, I will dismember you. I will poison your lunch. I will turn you into a sparrow and feed you to my plant.”

  I glanced at the potted plant on her wardrobe, a Venus flytrap on steroids.

  “You will never do that again. Am I clear?”

  I nodded. She released me.

  “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’ll be out for a bit. You can pack up your things for the night. You’re going to be sleeping in Josie’s bed with her.” She strolled out of the room, leaving me pinned against the wall.

  “Are you going to undo this?” I called after her.

  She didn’t answer.

  “Hello? Is anyone else out there who can help me with this spell?”

  No one answered.

  Where was that damned invisible man when I needed him?

  I struggled and fought against the bonds of her spell. After a couple of minutes, it weakened and dissipated. I packed up my toothbrush, hairbrush, and makeup. I selected my clothes for the following day: a black-and-white striped long-sleeved shirt to go under a polka-dot blouse and a plain black skirt with striped leggings. Screw Thatch and his fashion advice. It was exactly what I imagined a witch should wear.

  I closed the door and grabbed my pink My Little Pony pajamas from my bed. As I ducked behind the changing screen in the corner, someone cleared his throat.

  “Ahem,” a male voice said.

  I whirled and peeked out. As usual, no one appeared to be there.

  Realization sank in. “Ugh. It’s you. Leave me alone, you pervert.”

  “I’m not a pervert. Would I have warned you I was in here if I was? What did I ever do that would make you call me that?” The invisible man’s voice sounded indignant, hurt.

  I crossed my arms and gave the spot where I thought he was standing my most withering glare. “What do you want?”

  “It’s because of that stupid movie with Kevin Bacon,” he said. “You think because I’m invisible I spend my time doing immoral things like molesting women. That’s a stereotype, I will have you know.”

  “Perhaps some stereotypes are based on reality.” My temper flared. “You’ve groped me and molested me. And you do other immoral things all the time. You steal my stuff—”

  “Only things not allowed at school, like electronics.”

  “—You lie and you spy on me—”

  “There’s calling the kettle black. You lie all the time, especially to Mr. Thatch. And don’t act like you haven’t spied on other teachers using the hall of mirrors. I don’t do that.”

  I snorted. “Sure you don’t.”

  “I’m just doing my job—above and beyond my duties at times. That time you were teaching and some student threw a hex at you. Who deflected it and hauled the student off to Mr. Khaba’s office before you had even turned around from the chalkboard? Me. I should be a hero, but no, the invisible man never gets recognition for his good deeds. They’re invisible. Just like I am.”

  I wasn’t sure what to think of him now—if he was telling the truth. My anger fizzled to a low heat on the backburner, ready to explode should I need it.

  “Do you watch me while I’m asleep?” I asked.

  “No, that would be creepy Twilight stuff. I’m just the normal kind of pervey invisible man: I watch you while you’re in the shower, getting dressed, and on the toilet.”

  My jaw dropped.

  “Just kidding,” he laughed.

  “That isn’t funny. You could be here any time, and I wouldn’t know it.”

  “Don’t you think Vega would sense me and curse me if she thought I was in the room at night? And I’m not going to spy on you at inappropriate times. Typically, I only watch you during the work day. I have to sleep too, you know.”

  “So you’ve never seen me naked?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “You watch me undress, don’t you?” I threw a book at him.

  It landed with a satisfying thump. “No! Ow! Shit! Watch it.” The book remained suspended in midair. “What are you always telling the kids? Violence isn’t the answer. Maybe you should practice what you preach and not be such a hypocrite.”

  I lifted another book. “Tell me when you saw me naked.”

  “It was an accident. You were in Thatch’s room and burned pretty badly. I didn’t know you would be in there. He was livid when he realized I’d walked in. You thought he was angry with you today—ha! You should have seen him that time.” The wooden floorboards creaked under his feet.

  “He can see you?” I asked. “Thatch, I mean.”

  “No, but he can sense me. If he’s not distracted. But he’s been pretty distracted lately. He has this big spell he’s working on—something secret—and wards and glamours for that siren student, and he leaves on evenings and sometimes after school to go observe potential students in the Morty Realm.” The springs of my bed groaned. A concave half circle pressed into the edge of the bed where he sat down. “Thatch was the one who recruited me. He’s not as bad as everyone thinks.” He scooted back farther on my bed, his hands leaving impressions in the surface of the gray blankets.

  “Why are you here?” I asked.

  “I wanted to talk to you about your unicorn problem. He’s a tough one to shake. There are only a couple ways to get rid of unicorns.”

  I groaned. This was the sort of subject that required sitting down. I dropped onto Vega’s bed. “Okay, what do you suggest?”

  “I was doing some reading up on this. Unicorns are very sensitive about their horns. You could cut off the unicorn’s horn, and he’d hate you.”

  “I will not cut off his horn.” My muscles tensed at the idea of hurting Bart that way. “He’d lose his powers.”

  “Yeah, I know. It would be a rotten thing to do. But if you just pretended like you were going to chop off his horn, he’d feel betrayed. He might be indignant enough to leave you alone. But it’s risky, considering he might impale you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “That’s not all. You could have sex with him. I know it’s kind of—”

  “Gross!” I made a face. “That would be bestiality. Plus, he would lose his powers.”

  “You could ask him to shapeshift, so technically that wouldn’t be bestiality.”

  “No,” I said firmly. Bart would never be my type, no matter what form he took.

  “Your last viable option is to resolve the reason he wants you. He’ll stop coming onto the school grounds to see you the moment you stop being a virgin.”

  I considered that. The silence stretched between us like taffy on a hot day, uncomfortable and unwanted.

  I swallowed. “Um. . . .” I said. “Are you . . . were you trying to say—I mean—um. . . .”

  “No! Oh, gosh!” He laughed, and he sounded uncomfortable. “I wasn’t trying to imply you should sleep with me. I mean, sure, you’re cute, but we hardly know each other. I’m just a creepy invisible man who you think watches you in the shower.” He rambled, nervous energy resonant in his words. “I figured you’d probably get together with Mr. Thatch.”

  I laughed now too. “Thatch? No way!”

  “Aren’t you two. . . ?” He cleared his throat. “I thought you were close. Dating or something.”

  “No, why would you think that?”

  “Well, you know how he is, crabby and in a bad mood with everyone. Sometimes he’s nice to you. And he went to Eugene three times at Christmas. That’s where you’re from, right? He brought back cookies from your mom’s house. He seemed almost . . . happy.”

  “Huh.” I had thought he’d been even grouchier than usual. Especially after I’d kissed him. Shame flushed to my cheeks at the memory. “I don’t know what to say about Thatch. I think our relationship is professional.” Professionally complicated. I didn’t want to make it worse.

  I thought about Derrick and felt guiltier than ever. I’d
been trying to kiss Thatch during Christmas break while Derrick had been cursed and imprisoned. For all I knew he was imprisoned and ill from his curse.

  The bed across from me creaked. “There’s plenty of other teachers and staff members you could have illicit relationships with. Satyr Sam thinks you’re hot. Sebastian Reade would do anyone. Professor Rohiniraman wouldn’t touch you with a six-foot pole. But he might touch you with a six-inch one.”

  “Ha ha.” I kicked an invisible leg, not hard, just enough to make contact. He kicked me back.

  He coughed. “And then there happens to be an extremely sexy invisible man on staff. Not that I can prove this since it’s not like he can look in the mirror or anything, but it is a possibility.”

  “Thanks for the selfless offer. But I think you’d be safer if you found someone else to flirt with. My boyfriends have a tendency to die.” Maybe that was an exaggeration. I’d only electrocuted one. The others had been accidents: electric shocks and heart attacks.

  He tapped a foot against the floor. “If you’ve always been as bad of a judge of character as you were with Julian Thistledown, I suspect they deserved it.”

  That hit hard.

  I stared into my lap. It wasn’t so much surprising that he knew—he was an invisible spy. He could go anywhere and see anything without anyone else knowing—but I didn’t know if he knew whether I had killed Julian on purpose and in self-defense.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have joked about that,” he said. “It’s a sensitive topic.”

  I nodded. My chest felt tight, and I tried to ignore the rising anxiety when I thought of Julian.

  I tried to make light of it. “Well, anyway, if I tried to solve all my problems with sexual intercourse, that means I would never be able to call the unicorns again. And who knows? Maybe an emergency will come up and I’ll need unicorns in my life.”

  “I doubt anyone needs those horny ponies harassing them. But, yeah, it’s a big decision. It means it would be time to give up childish innocence. In the Morty Realm it would be a symbolic sacrifice. In this world, there’s power in a sacrifice.”

  It sounded like he was playing the part of the sage wizard now.

  “Why are you . . . helping me?”

  Fabric rustled, and his shoes creaked on the floor. “At first I was doing it because Thatch told me he’d pay me a bonus in addition to what Khaba pays. He wants me to make sure you don’t get fired, killed, or have any accidents. But I guess, now I’m doing it because I don’t want you to get fired.”

  “Oh.” I didn’t know if Thatch’s meddling was flattering or it just proved he thought of me like a child who needed a babysitter.

  “I know I’m just some invisible man you pretty much had no idea existed until I took your phone, but I’ve known about you all year. I see you trying to help those kids. They need a teacher like you who isn’t burned-out, who hasn’t given up on them, and finds it intolerable to let them become fodder for the Fae.

  “Maybe it’s because all of this is new to you, so you aren’t like that yet. You don’t take magic for granted or blindly play along with the rules of this world. You make me see the world new again, and you make me care. I want you to succeed. I don’t want you to get kicked out.”

  His words warmed my heart. Embarrassed, I looked away, but I couldn’t help smiling. I wasn’t used to this much praise, especially after how stingy Thatch was with it. I wanted to bask in his words and let them sink into me, building a layer of protective skin to help me endure the judgment of the other staff members.

  “Well, um . . . thanks.” I felt more awkward than usual, the ability to form words escaping me. “How are your hands? I . . . didn’t mean to burn you with the phone.”

  “No hard feelings. I’m fine. The scabs are mostly gone. You can see—well—you can feel how they’ve healed up.” The bed groaned under his weight as he shifted across from me.

  His fingers touched mine. It startled me, but I didn’t yank my hand back. He lifted my hand and brushed my fingers over his palm. The skin felt smooth like new skin. Only one section was rough. As I smoothed my fingers over his skin, I noticed the way the air around my hand grew pink and opaque.

  “What is that?” I asked. I touched the place I thought I saw something, but his hand was in the way. Where I touched him, he changed from invisible to visible.

  “That’s strange. How is that happening?” he asked.

  I took one of his hands in both of mine and rubbed my fingers over the surface. His flesh changed from transparent to visible. His scars were still bright pink, but the rest of his skin was a tint of raw sienna. The longer I pressed my hand to his, the more his appearance solidified.

  Wonder filled his voice. “What kind of magic are you using?”

  I wasn’t using magic. Not on purpose. It had to be my affinity, something related to touch magic. His skin faded back to invisible when I released him. I reached out to touch his face, wanting to see what he looked like.

  Vega burst through the door, dragging Maddy behind her.

  “What are you doing on my bed?” Vega demanded.

  I jumped to my feet, collided into the invisible man, and fell back onto the bed.

  “You don’t look like you’ve even finished getting ready,” Vega pointed an accusing finger at me. “What have you been doing all this time? Daydreaming?”

  I shrugged Vega off and packed my pajamas.

  Maddy’s eyes were wide with horror. Having to spend the night in the same room as Vega was probably a far worse punishment for her than for me to spend the night with Josie.

  Jeb was back the following day. The boy Maddy had drained was sent home to finish up high school in the Morty Realm. I felt bad for him. I would have hated the world if I had learned I had magic and then it had been taken away from me.

  As predicted, Jeb encouraged us to forgive Maddy for her careless magic and for us all to be strict, but nurturing educators with love in our hearts. He sentenced her to two weeks of detentions, which I volunteered to oversee. The way everyone tried to forget about the incident and pretend it had never happened unsettled me. Nothing was resolved.

  It was going to take more than tough love to solve Maddy’s problems. I just didn’t know what that was.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Teacher’s Pet

  Over the next few weeks, the weather warmed up just enough to tease us with the promise of spring, even though it was the end of February. Many students went to Lachlan Falls for the afternoon. My usual flock of bookworms sat in my classroom on Friday studying after school. Imani, Greenie, Hailey, and Maddy sat with books open, practicing Latin. Chase Othello dropped in for a short time with Maya Briggs, the two of them glaring at Maddy the entire time.

  Hailey stood up, lifting her chin. “You got a problem or something?”

  “Yeah. Your face,” Chase said.

  I leapt up from my desk and raced between them before Hailey hurled a fire spell at Chase.

  I liked Chase and Maya. I didn’t want siren magic and rivalry over boys to ruin their friendship. Maya and Chase left without being told. Maddy hugged her arms around herself.

  The cold wind whistled through the cracks in the window frames and crevices in the stone walls. Even wearing my sweater over a long-sleeved shirt, I was cold. The girls huddled together, spell books open to review for their midterm exams. Third quarter was flying by, and we were approaching fourth quarter in just a couple of weeks.

  Greenie showed Maddy how to light up the tip of a wand. I still didn’t have a wand, so I kept trying to use a pencil. The girls giggled, and we helped each other review the spells they needed to pass Vega’s beginning-level Charms and Minor Spells class.

  “I think it’s time for a break. We need to do something fun.” Hailey stood up and stretched.

  “How about that spell to change hair color?” Greenie asked.

  “Ooo! I want to learn that one,” I said. I had touched up my pink hair over winter vacation, but I wouldn’t mi
nd learning a spell for it since the shops in Lachlan Falls didn’t sell many products with chemicals in them.

  “Ugh. I’m tired of magic. Can’t we run outside for five or ten minutes?” Hailey asked.

  “No,” Maddy said. “We’ve only been reviewing for forty-five minutes. We need to keep doing charms.”

  Imani sorted through the books in her backpack. “There’s a long incantation to go with that hair-color spell. I don’t have it memorized.” She stacked her books on her desk. “I think I left my book in one of my classrooms. Probably Mr. Thatch’s.” She jumped to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’ll come with you.” Maddy ran after her, laughing and pulling on Imani’s ponytail.

  I pointed to her seat. “No. Sit back down. You are not going anywhere without me.”

  “Everyone is in Lachlan Falls. No one is in the halls,” Maddy said.

  “Plus, we can use the stairwell in your closet. Only Mr. Thatch uses that, right?” Imani asked.

  That was true about only Thatch using it. The passage ended outside Thatch’s office in the hallway to his private quarters. No one went in that hallway but him. Their plan sounded safe. “Okay. As long as you stay together. Be back in five minutes.”

  Imani nodded emphatically. I unlocked the closet for them and left it open.

  Greenie continued helping Hailey with the flashlight spell. The group of girls had grown closer over the break at my fairy godmother’s house, and then in the days that followed at the school. Hailey’s grades had been improving, and she was attending my classes more regularly.

  “Look!” Hailey waved a hand at me. “I’m doing it without any heat.”

  A faint glow ebbed from her wand.

  “Oh, it’s gone.” Her shoulders sagged in disappointment.

  “That was good. You got it started,” Greenie said.

  “Yeah, it would be better if Imani was around,” Hailey said.

  Greenie laughed. “Are you saying I’m a bad teacher?”

  Hailey locked eyes with me. She knew, and she knew more than she’d overheard in the girl’s bathroom from that guilty look she gave me. She understood my secret. And Imani’s. She couldn’t speak about it, but she knew we were Reds. Somehow she’d figured out that amplified her magic.