Tell Me No Lies (Bright Lights, Dark Secrets Collection Book 4)
Page 10
But at least that kept Bennett mostly out of my mind. Even thinking his name hurt. It wasn’t like I was a schoolgirl pining for his affections. I wasn’t in love or anything like that. But I was still reeling from our exchange because he’d made me feel so small.
Bennett left me in the bathroom without a word. It had felt like the most honest sex of my life, but it also felt like I would never see him again, at least not for another booking.
Maybe I’d run into him again the next time I was stalking Ryan.
But at least I knew I’d made the right decision to accept Victor’s offer. Seeing Ryan with Jess Lindley drove that home like a spike through my heart.
He’d been quietly reconfiguring his life to get rid of me.
My client was waiting when I arrived.
Berto Reyes wasn’t as famous as Bennett, but he was a celebrity on the rise, having elevated himself as a small-time actor in his teens on a web series called F the 90s! to writing, directing, and starring in a series of blockbusters, most of them featuring a man in his late twenties who suffers from smoking way too much pot.
Just like Berto in real life, except few would say he was suffering.
This was the actor’s second call, and if it was anything like the last time, my stomach would be hurting from laughing by the time I left. The only thing I hadn’t enjoyed during our first go-round was that Berto kept calling me Mom. He thought it was hilarious, both before and after we started smoking.
But Berto was otherwise a blast. His droll punchlines had me laughing hard, and he was an easy client to please. He wanted to get baked, make jokes, order room service, and fuck. I couldn’t tell if he was more interested in Adult Video: The Movie! streaming on the hotel TV, or my tits swaying in his face as I straddled him. He paid ample attention to both, managing to laugh, while indulging my body like he actually cared.
Hollow fun that left the client happy. Berto even paid me to finish watching the movie with him. Since it was cash and off the books, neither Olivia or Victor needed to know.
I wished all my clients could be like Berto, but unfortunately my next one, Guy Vernon, wasn’t fun at all.
Victor had pitched the guy as an easy client -- a Hollywood agent who had more stress than time, and was always in need of relief. “I hear he’s fast. Twenty minutes, and you should be out of there.”
But the man was a monster, who only wanted to hear himself talk.
I tried to greet him as I entered, but his glare shut me up.
I tried to entice him with the same dirty talk I’d been using to great effect with other clients, but he ordered me to shut the fuck up.
I tried to tell him I was sorry, and that I would be happy to please him however he wanted, but he told me if I opened my upper cunt again he’d fuck it until I was tongue-tied for good.
Guy wasn’t just uptight and controlling, the man was a beast. He made me undress, then kept me on my knees for half an hour while he paced circles around me in his ten thousand dollar suit, ranting and raving about actors and contracts and things I didn’t understand, saying nothing specific, but all of it came with an angry spittle that flew from his lips to dampen me.
I hated him and desperately wanted to leave. So I did some math in my head and figured that even with Victor and Olivia’s cut, I was still making more than twenty-six dollars for every minute I spent on my knees.
But I also didn’t want this asshole bitching to Victor, and I wasn’t willing to stay a minute longer than he’d paid for. I still had to get the guy hard, and I wasn’t sure if that would require me to read Variety while twiddling my twat and telling him that he was the greatest agent in Hollywood or something. So forty minutes in I dared to speak into a lull in his diatribe.
“You seem so stressed. Are you sure there isn’t any way I can help?”
Without a word he marched over, unzipping as he approached, and shoved his cock into my mouth.
He apparently didn’t mind the sound of my gagging.
Guy was also fast like Victor promised, but only after he got started. After three minutes of barely being able to breathe, he finally unloaded and I was able to swallow while he walked away, zipping up his slacks and muttering something ugly under his breath.
I thought he was going to be my worst client, until I met the third one for the day.
Damon Pierce, money man to the stars. He wasn’t a misogynist or a terrible person like Guy. But Damon was a family man, and thus sent me into the deepest place I’d had to travel so far. A bit like my time with Bennett, but so much blacker. He wanted me to role-play a cheating wife who hated her husband and wanted to vent her anger during sex.
In other words, I was supposed to act like I was revenge-fucking my husband.
For the first time I could scream all the things I’d been keeping inside. My rage for Ryan sent angry words flying out of my mouth like knives, but they cut me as they left. I had to pretend that everything was about Damon, stoking the embers of my client’s fantasy, keeping him at arm’s length while showing him the ugliest side of myself, hoping he couldn’t tell that I meant everything I shrieked.
I yelled and yowled and bellowed as he bucked.
You’re a selfish liar and this is all your fault.
You’re not just cheating on me, you’re doing this to our entire family.
Then one for him: You’d rather be an accountant to the stars than a decent husband and father.
You could have been home with the children and spending more time with me, but instead you’re sticking your dick into every slut you can find.
And another: You have to pay women to fuck you. (He asked me to say it, but to me it felt like just another way to call me a whore.)
You’re a lying piece of shit who broke all of his promises and broke our family.
I can never trust you again!
I’m leaving!
By the time he finally came, I was crying real tears of anguish. It was like I’d had a wound in my soul that he’d ripped open so he could stick his dick into it. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
As I snatched the envelope from his hand, I swore I was going to earn the money I needed to be safe — to keep my kids safe — as fast as I possibly could, and I was going to get the hell out of this business.
Move to another part of the country, someplace where the cost of living was less and I could live for years on what I’d earned. The kids would adapt, once they got over the shock of the divorce, and we’d be happy together.
That’s why I was doing this.
On my way home from Damon’s I gave Victor a call.
“Thrilled to hear from you,” he said after the first ring. “It’s always the other way around.”
“Don’t book me with Guy Vernon again. Or Damon Pierce.”
Victor laughed like an asshole. “I’ve heard stories. So he likes to hear himself talk
and—”
“I’m serious, I won’t see either of them,” I repeated, firmer this time.
“Fine. What can I say? I’m thrilled with your work. Or at least the clients are, and that’s what matters.”
“What else do you have for me?”
Victor said, “You want some fast money?”
No hesitation. I needed to get through this as fast as I could stand to. “Yes.”
“It’s not the sort of thing I would normally offer you because you’ve been clear on your preferences, and Guy is now noted, but I could send you on something tomorrow if you’re interested.”
“I already said that I was.”
“Yeah, but there’s a lot not to like on this one … even though the money is good.”
“Get to the point, Victor.”
“They’re two guys, and they’re both nuts. Not dangerous, just loony. Oddest pair you’ve ever seen. One is skinny and pale. The other one is a few hundred pounds.”
Great, so now I’m going to be fucking Laurel and Hardy.
But what did I expect if I asked for fast money
?
“Okay, fine. Whatever. How much does it pay and how long will I need to be with them?”
“They always book three hours, so you’ll clear over 5K for the time, and they’re generous tippers. You know I don’t touch what’s yours.”
“What do they want that’s loony?”
There was a pause, and I pictured him shrugging. “Different stuff, I dunno.”
“You don’t know, or you don’t want to say?”
“All I know is that they regenerate fast, and take turns. And you’re not allowed to clean yourself until it’s all over.”
Ewww. But five grand would get me a lot closer to moving out before Ryan could screw me. For all I knew, he was already working with a divorce lawyer.
“Right. Fine. Sign me up. I can handle them.”
“Ha. You continue to impress me.”
“Thanks. And Victor?”
“Yeah?”
Don’t say it. You’re better than this.
But my bank account wasn’t.
“Never mind what I said about Guy.”
“Good girl,” he said.
I hung up, exhausted from the labor of taking strangers inside me, and the harder work of not hating myself for it.
My mind drifted until I found myself pulling into my driveway.
The house was silent as I entered.
I paid Anna and apologized for being late. She told me that I was fifteen minutes early.
I checked on Alec and Lena, both of them sleeping and looking like angels, making me feel like the devil’s wily daughter.
I went to my room, taking the phone out of my purse on the way, then turning it back on now that Elle was off duty and Natalie was back.
Four missed calls from Lynette.
What could she possibly want?
Whatever it was, it wouldn’t get me away from Ryan faster, so it didn’t matter.
Wednesday Night, Six Days Later …
JADE
I couldn’t believe it.
I sat on the edge of my bed, in the room I shared with one of the other girls here at Victor’s. I’d just finished my first real job, and to make it feel even realer, I’d fanned out all the money in front of me.
I shook my head, staring down at the most money I’d ever seen in one place.
I was filthy rich and just getting started.
My dreams were about to come true.
I had a place to stay and money in my pocket.
I was safe.
And trying not to cry.
I had a new name — Jade.
But before I celebrated any more, I needed a shower. Like, asap. I felt disgusting. Not the sex part, though that wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be.
It wasn’t my first time. I lost my virginity to one of the kids that worked with my dad at the shop. He was twenty and an artist -- the first person to ever buy me a box of colored pencils. They were the expensive kind, the kind that lasted a long time and didn’t sound all scratchy when you used ‘em.
But it was my first time getting paid for it.
I was getting two grand, minus a fair cut. That was a life changer.
Still, I felt sorta hollow and was trying hard to pretend like I wasn’t. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I left for Los Angeles. I’m not stupid; it’s not like I thought I would slide down a rainbow into a river made of chocolate, then find myself the star of some Hollywood fairy tale. But I hadn’t had much of a plan, thinking that being eighteen and a day was enough. So I got on a bus after cashing my last paycheck from Wendy’s — 237 dollars — thinking I’d figure out what to do next once I was in sight of the Hollywood sign.
But maybe it was fate. Maybe if I had stayed behind a little longer and planned a little better, I would never have needed to do the thing that was going to make everything else come true. Maybe Victor was right, and this really was like getting one of those FastPasses, except that I would be skipping to the front of my Hollywood dreams.
I met him outside an open audition. He was sweet and handsome. He looked like one of the guys who would hang around my father’s shop, either looking for work or just getting off a shift. I was hoping to land the lead in some much-too-serious indie film that I didn’t even really want, anyway. Victor bummed a smoke, and then he sorta took my breath away.
“Mind if I …?”
He didn’t finish his sentence, but he nodded all sexy toward the cigarette, dangling from lips I’d painted to get told I was wrong for the part. I handed him the pack.
It was in his mouth like magic. Victor moved so fast, the pack was back in my hand before I knew what had happened. Then it was lit and he said, “They have no idea what they just lost in there.”
He eyed me up and down, taking a drag, then he exhaled with a shake of his head. “Damn shame. You radiate everything that matters.”
I shrugged, not sure what I should say to a sudden rush of compliments from a total stranger. “They’re right. I’m wrong for that part.”
He smiled in a way that seemed to light his stubble, turning the blond nubs brighter. “But I’d bet my life that you’re perfect for something.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Are you hungry?”
Starving.
“I could eat.”
“How about we grab a burger?”
Thank God for that. After four days of living off ramen and breath mints, I was starving times ten.
Victor could tell. He let me order whatever I wanted, and I wanted a lot. We went to Perfect Burger and I ordered everything, meaning a burger and fries and a drink, except he said I could order a shake so I got that instead of a Coke. He seemed really concerned about me.
“Crashing on a couch isn’t a permanent solution, Amanda. What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I stuffed several fries in my mouth.
I’d known I was ill-prepared for life in Los Angeles, but sorta expected to figure it out. But if it wasn’t for Victor I’m not sure what would have happened. We spent the whole day together. He took me everywhere. We even got donuts from that place with the big giant donut on top of the shop. He paid for everything, and didn’t try anything, even though I would have been okay if he did. I even kind of wanted him to.
I didn’t know what to think when he called me his girl, except that I liked it.
Then he offered me a job and a place to stay. Of course I said yes.
I didn’t know what the job was until we got back here, and by then it was too late to back out. I didn’t want to disappoint him; that wasn’t any way to say thank you to someone who’d saved me. It’s not like he needed me. He already had so many beautiful girls working for him.
Yeah, I realize that he played me, but I also know that he helped me.
I could be hoarding a roll of breath mints right now, stretching them out to last all night and wondering if my parents would buy me a bus ticket home, if I begged.
“Knock knock,” Victor said as he entered.
He came in and stole all my nerve. I didn’t know what to do. My hands were like giant pancakes.
I looked down because it’s too hard to look at him.
I can’t believe that I ever thought he might want me. He’d probably laugh if I asked.
Yes, I’m his his girl, but he has a houseful of ‘em. As nice as this room is, it’s just one of many.
I glanced at him sideways.
I watched him reach for the bills, counting them, take his share, and toss the rest back onto the bed.
I was one deep breath away from crying.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Then Victor’s finger was under my chin, tipping it up. “There’s my girl.”
My eyelashes fluttered, something they’d never done before.
“You made Mr. Welty very happy tonight, you know that? Most of the girls who come through here, they’re all looks. But you?” He shook his head, and looked for a second again like he really cared about me. “I know you’
re special. I want to be the one to show you how special you are.”
He crouched down and met my eyes.
“I can’t imagine what it’s been like for you. I bet where you come from, nobody ever appreciated you. I bet you’ve spent a lifetime being treated like a girl with a beautiful body. Let me guess …”
I was already trembling, but then he leaned in and made me tremble harder.
“You just got used to your daddy’s friends staring at you like they wanted to fuck you, finding excuses to be alone with you, touching you?”
Now I was frozen.
“Well, now you’re my girl. I’m going to make all your dreams come true. Do everything I say, and you’re going to be my star. You—”
“I don’t believe we’ve met,” said a voice from the doorway. “I’m Natalie.”
NATALIE
The girl looked young enough to break my heart twice.
She had to be eighteen because Victor was way too careful for her to be even an hour less, but she barely looked legal, which, I supposed, only added to her value.
I didn’t like the way Victor was looking at her, or the way the girl — Jade, I thought her name was — glared at me, like I was being inappropriate for interrupting.
Maybe I was.
It was hard not to imagine that she was judging me.
You’re pathetic. Gross. You’ve got kids, lady. And a husband. Go home.
But I wasn’t there to see Jade, I just wanted to give Victor his cut and get the hell out of there.
I gave Jade a friendly nod, but she ignored me, if that’s what you can call a barely perceptible rolling of her eyes.
Victor didn’t even count the cash I handed him. He just folded the bills and slipped them it into his pocket with an appreciative smile.
“Always good to see you, Natalie.”
I didn’t like that he was so frivolous with my real name. But I liked to believe that everything happened for a reason, and maybe the poor girl sitting on her bed, looking lost to all the world, needed a friend. If that was the case, then our friendship shouldn’t start off with a lie.
I walked over to Jade, holding out my hand to her.