Forever

by Karen Ann Hopkins

  Sarah smiled and nodded. As we walked back to the barn to get the horse hitched, I worried that God might have other plans for my sister and me.

  A feeling of uneasiness pinched my soul as I watched Sarah carefully back Oscar from the tie stall. She was such a sweet girl, and the thought that my actions were causing her grief darkened my mood even further.

  Out of all of us, Sarah deserved happiness the most. I was bound and determined to make sure that she had it—even if it meant putting my own life on hold for a while longer.

  11

  Sarah

  A million butterflies fluttered in my belly as I played volleyball. Each time I glanced toward the net where Micah was, he’d be looking straight at me and I’d turn away quickly.

  His brazenness awakened my spirit, and I’d found myself thinking about him constantly. It was difficult to get my chores done properly when visions of his bright green eyes and lightly tanned face would pop up unexpectedly. It had become more difficult over the past couple of days to concentrate, and my mind had been filled with remembering each and every word he’d ever said to me. I’d replay all of our meetings, analyzing his comments to the point of exhaustion.

  Mother thought I was sick and had offered to allow me to return to bed. My younger sister, Rachel, had mocked me for being an old woman with hearing problems when I’d ignored her while we’d hung the laundry together.

  My thoughts drifted back to this morning when I’d talked to Noah. I really did understand how he felt. The longing to be with someone could cause a person to do silly things. I’d already been thinking of opportunities to speak with Micah again, but hadn’t come up with anything even remotely promising.

  “Sarah, snap out of it. You’re missing every ball that comes your way,” Suzanna scolded.

  Wisps of her pale blond hair fluttered around her face in the evening breeze, and her cap was slightly crooked.

  The game stopped when I reached over and felt along the top of her head to pull out the pin. Suzanna stood still for me to set the cap back on straight while I answered her.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t see them.”

  “And you didn’t hear me calling you?” She gently shook my shoulder and said, “Are you sweet on someone, Sarah Miller?”

  Of course, Miranda was standing in Suzanna’s shadow, and pudgy Maretta had appeared beside my elbow. All the girls stared at me, waiting for an answer.

  I nodded slowly, heat rising on my face. All eyes widened and Suzanna grabbed my arm, ushering me away from the nets. She settled on a grassy spot some distance from the games and pulled me to the ground. Miranda and Maretta followed suit, and I found myself sitting in the middle of their gawking faces.

  “It’s Edwin, isn’t it?” Maretta muttered.

  “Oh, Lord, I hope not. He’s so boring,” Suzanna put in.

  Miranda cleared her throat and said, “Hush and let Sarah tell us herself.”

  All eyes looked at me expectantly, and I whispered, “Do you swear to keep it to yourselves?”

  They nodded vigorously as I expected. Feeling a rush of giddiness, I said, “Micah Schwartz.”

  The looks on the girls went from interest to pure shock in an instant.

  Suzanna glanced around and then said, “Are you crazy? Since Noah quit Constance, Micah is off-limits to you.”

  Miranda, the most thoughtful of the group, must have pitied me when she chastised Suzanna, giving me a bit of hope. “I don’t see any reason why they can’t be together. Noah, Constance and Rose have nothing to do with Micah and Sarah. They’re both of courting age and members of our church. Once Mr. Schwartz settles down about the whole business, it will be fine.” She reached over and patted my hand.

  Suzanna stayed silent, but Maretta jumped and smiled. “Are you sure you don’t want Edwin, Sarah?”

  “I’m sure…why?”

  “I’ve always liked him. I think I’ll make eyes at him and see what he does.” She scowled at Suzanna and added, “I don’t think he’s boring at all.”

  I watched her jog away toward the nets with a deep sense of rightness. Maretta was meant to go after Edwin all along. She had just been waiting for me to make a decision about him. Now, she was free to pursue her heart.

  I was smiling broadly when Suzanna said, “I have to admit the two of them are perfect for each other. He’ll never have to talk with Maretta around, and that will suit him just fine.” Then her face became serious, and she said, “Have you and Micah discussed a courtship?”

  “No, not exactly, but he gave me a gift. Do you think he likes me?”

  “What did he give you?” Suzanna asked.

  I pulled the soft leather strap from my pocket and showed the girls. They each leaned in, and Miranda ran her fingers down the engraving of my name.

  “It’s very pretty,” Miranda murmured.

  “If he made this himself, then he definitely likes you,” Suzanna said with sureness.

  Her words made me feel lighter, but the worry was still present in my heart.

  “I’m afraid to say a word to my parents about it. They’re so worked up over the matter with Noah and Constance that I don’t want to burden them further.”

  Suzanna flicked her hand. “Two people falling in love shouldn’t be a burden. Old man Schwartz is overreacting if you ask me.”

  After another quick search of the area and seeing that the games were over and the boys were taking down the nets, I said, “Have either of you spoken to Rose? I do miss her so.”

  Suzanna and Miranda shook their heads, but even as darkness was setting in, I could see the twitch of excitement on Suzanna’s face and I was suddenly very worried.

  12

  Sam

  I tried to kiss Summer, but she wiggled out of my arms and said, “Where’s Rose?”

  “She’s upstairs, clutching her puke bucket to her chest as usual. She’s managed to hide the fact that she’s always sick from Dad—probably because he’s never around. She even convinced him to let her finish up her classes online so she doesn’t have to do the few weeks until the end of school here in Meadowview. You know, I’m close to the point of taking matters into my own hands.”

  Summer’s face tightened, and she pointed her finger at me. “You wouldn’t dare. You promised to give her some time to know for sure.”

  I left Summer in the foyer and went into the family room, saying, “I’m just worried about her health.”

  I wasn’t surprised that when I flopped on the couch, she was right beside me.

  “This is serious. Rose needs to be checked out by a doctor. Dad needs to know. Hell, Noah should know.”

  “You don’t even like Noah,” Summer nearly shrieked. She was cute when she got riled up. I just wished what we were discussing wasn’t so damned important.

  “He’s still the father, and he needs to step up and help Rose out.” It made perfect sense to me, but whenever I broached the subject with Summer, she always went into hysterics.

  Summer’s eyes narrowed, and she lightly punched my arm. “You better not say a word to Noah about this, Sam, or…”

  I cut her off. “Or what? It will be over between us? Please, don’t throw that one at me. You’re stuck with me and you know it. Besides, you’re way off base on this one.”

  Surprising me, Justin, who I thought was in a video game haze in front of the TV, spoke up quite clearly, “You’re both wrong.”

  “Spit it out, kid. What do you mean?” Summer asked, focusing her anger on the back of Justin’s head.

  “It’s Aunt Debbie who should be told. She’d know what to do to help Rose, and she can keep a secret, so none of us would be breaking our oath to not tell Dad or Noah.”

  I looked at Summer, whose face was scrunched in thought. When her gaze met mine, she shrugged
and said, “What do you think?”

  Never a day went by that I didn’t think about Mom and wish that she was still alive, but this was one of those moments when I really wanted her to walk through the door and take charge of the hysteria that our lives had become. But that was impossible, and the next best option was her sister, Aunt Debbie. She was more of a free spirit than Mom, but she still had a commanding way about her. I trusted her to handle a family crisis like this one.

  “As usual, you surprise me, little bro. We’ll give Rose a few more days and then make the call.”

  The knock at the door brought me and Summer quickly back into the foyer. It wasn’t very often that we had company after dark, living in the boondocks.

  I hadn’t gotten the door open more than twelve inches when Summer squealed and pushed me aside to open it more quickly.

  There was a flurry of drab-colored dresses and white caps bouncing around for a minute before things calmed down.

  I recognized the blonde girl who’d flirted with me the night on the road, but not the slender girl with the black eyes and pale skin. The healthier-looking girl with the brown hair and lighter eyes of the same color seemed familiar.

  “I didn’t think you ladies were allowed to go visiting your non-Amish neighbors after dark.” I couldn’t help smirking, even though Summer shot me a look that would have killed most men.

  The blonde answered with a tilt to her head, “We’re sorry to come by unannounced. We’d like to visit your sister, if we may.”

  For a second I was without words. All that could be heard was the tapping of Summer’s foot while the girls looked expectantly at me. I wasn’t used to girls asking me before they did something. At that moment, I could almost understand Noah’s insistence on staying Amish.

  I was careful not to look at Summer’s face, but I had the feeling she was glaring when I said, “Sure thing. Stay as long as you want. She’s upstairs. You know the way.”

  The girls brushed past me, following closely behind Summer.

  It was an odd sight, and Justin obviously agreed when he finally roused from his gamer chair and peeked around me to watch the girls heading up the stairs.

  “Ever since we moved here I’ve felt like I’m caught in the middle of an insane reality show version of Little House on the Prairie,” Justin said before he turned and disappeared back into the family room.

  I mumbled to myself, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

  13

  Rose

  I was expecting to see Summer walk through the door, but when Suzanna, Miranda and Sarah followed her in I leaped from the bed right into Suzanna’s arms. In turn, I hugged Miranda and then clutched Sarah even more tightly than the others. A couple of minutes later, the five of us were all cross-legged on the bed.

  “I still can’t believe you shot Levi,” Suzanna exclaimed.

  “And jabbed his eye out,” Miranda added with a look of awe on her face.

  The mention of Levi brought a flash of images through my mind that I didn’t want to see or think about. I shrugged and gazed out the window into the dark.

  Sarah must have sensed my reluctance to speak of it. She coughed lightly and said, “We’re relieved that you’re all right, Rose. I envy your strength. If I’d been in the same situation, I wouldn’t have been so brave.”

  Turning to Sarah, I had to admire her subtle beauty. Her brown hair with its golden highlights was similar to the rest of the Miller kids, but her wide-spaced eyes were a lighter brown than those of her siblings. Those eyes were deep pools that seemed sad most of the time. Noah’s sister always spoke kind words in a soft voice. I wished I was so naturally nice.

  “I’m sure if you were faced with a life-or-death situation, you’d be able do the right thing, too,” I said quietly.

  Sarah nodded and then reached over to squeeze my hand.

  I looked at Miranda with reservation. She was Levi’s sister, although she certainly had no reason to love him after the sick things he’d done to her when she was younger. But still, I’d nearly killed Levi when he’d come to Cincinnati to attack me. Could she really forgive me for doing such a thing?

  “Miranda, I’m sorry about what happened with Levi, but he left me no choice.”

  Miranda scooted closer and hugged me. “Don’t you dare apologize—he would’ve killed you for sure.” She whispered into my ear, “I’ve been taught the way of grace, and I forgive Levi…but I’ll never forget what he did to me. He deserved the punishment you served on him.”

  When she pulled back, her eyes were moist, and she hurriedly wiped them with the back of her hand.

  In an attempt to lighten the dark mood that had descended on the room, Suzanna giggled. “Have you heard, Rose—we all have suitors now.”

  “Hush now, that’s not true!” Sarah exclaimed with wide eyes.

  Summer finally woke from her silence and said, “Whoa now, did Sarah finally tell that Edwin dude how it was going to be?”

  I was surprised when I saw the clear distress on Sarah’s face. Her voice rose to a level I’d never heard from her when she nearly shouted, “It’s not Edwin—it’s Micah!”

  Summer and I exchanged a confused glance. I said, “Who’s Micah?”

  The amused smirk on Suzanna’s face contrasted greatly with Sarah’s worried frown.

  Sarah murmured, “Oh, just a new boy in the community.”

  “Not just any boy, either.” Miranda paused and looked to Suzanna for approval of what she was about to say. When Suzanna nodded, Miranda added, “He’s Constance’s brother.”

  Hearing Noah’s ex-fiancée’s name spoken sent a ripple of instant anger coursing through me.

  “When did you begin dating him?” I asked, trying to keep the level of my voice calm.

  “Oh, we aren’t official…and we probably never will be, anyway.”

  Sarah shrugged. I saw the glint of moisture in her eyes before she turned away.

  My heart suddenly went out to her, fearing that I might be the cause of her problems.

  “Why would you say such a thing?” When Sarah wouldn’t meet my gaze, I looked at the others. Suzanna and Miranda both shook their heads sadly, and Summer gave me a knowing look.

  After a long, uncomfortable silence, Sarah finally said, “Elijah Schwartz doesn’t want his children mingling with the Miller family in the future.”

  Suzanna and Miranda exchanged unsure glances when Sarah looked straight at them.

  “I guess you girls already know about Rose and Noah being together again, right?”

  My heart stopped, and I held my breath. I didn’t think anyone besides Noah’s parents knew.

  Suzanna breathed a sigh of relief. “We learned about it by accident.” She looked at me and smiled. “Your guy is kind of dumb about being secretive. We overheard the news. I couldn’t be happier for you.”

  “I came down to the kitchen late one night to get a drink when I noticed the lamp on. I wasn’t being sneaky or anything, but I didn’t want to intrude, either. When Mother spoke of it to Father, I heard. Looks like we’ll be sisters, after all,” Sarah said as she patted my leg.

  A roll of nausea passed over me, and I swallowed. I wondered at Sarah’s words—would we really be sisters one day? Then I thought of the baby inside of me, Sarah’s own niece or nephew. What would Sarah think if she knew about my pregnancy?

  “Reckon, it’s better we get it out in the open, so we can move on to other drama,” Summer said. She turned to Sarah and asked, “So you can’t date this Micah guy you have the hots for, because Noah broke it off with Constance?”

  Sarah nodded.

  “That is a sticky situation. I’m sure in time, it’ll all sort itself out and his family will be fine with it,” Summer said.

  Sarah muttered, “I hope so.”
<
br />   Hearing the depression in Sarah’s voice, I realized that this was yet another reason for Noah and me to delay being together. If we hooked back up right away, it would make it even worse for Sarah and Micah. Maybe this was another aspect of the situation that Noah was considering when he’d told me that we needed to take our time.

  My heart felt lighter, and the angst I’d been carrying toward Noah disappeared. There were more people being affected by our decisions than I’d known. Glancing at Sarah’s worried face, I was determined to do whatever I could to make sure that Noah and I didn’t ruin her chances at being with the guy she loved. Of all people, I could never do that to a friend. I understood too well how awful it was to be kept away from the person you wanted to be with.

  I picked up Sarah’s hand and said, “Noah and I are doing things differently this time. I promise we’ll be discreet and keep our relationship hidden until you work things out with your Micah.”

  Summer cleared her throat and said, “Ah, do you think you can do that?”

  I shot her a warning look that would have wilted most girls. Not Summer, though. She sat up more confidently. “Because I’m not so sure.”

  “Yes, I can.” Staring into Summer’s green gaze, I knew she was talking about the baby. I said, “Especially with the help of my friends.”

  Summer shook her head and looked away.

  But her aggravation was worth the wide smile that Sarah’s face now held.

  “Oh, Rose, I don’t know if it will work or not, but it’s worth hoping for,” Sarah breathed with renewed life.

  “And, since we are your good friends, we’ll make sure you and Noah get some alone time, in secret,” Suzanna promised.

  Not being able to see Noah would be hard, but until I told him about the baby, being around him might be even more difficult.

  “It won’t be easy to get us together. Everyone will be watching extra closely now,” I said.

  “Don’t underestimate me. I’ve got a plan for everything.” Suzanna grinned. “Like right now, I’ve already got your next meeting arranged.”