by Danni Roan
Trace smiled at the other man, thrilled with the progress he had made since getting stepped on by a mad bull in his last rodeo show.
“You look like a man with a problem,” Red said as Chase pushed the door closed.
Trace flopped into a chair in front of an old battered desk, placing his hat on his knee and running his hands through his hair.
“You could say that,” Trace admitted it. “I just got off the phone with Marissa.”
“Is she alright?” Chase asked dropping into the antique office chair behind the desk.
“She’s doing well,” Trace said with a smile. “I’m going to see here over Thanksgiving.”
“So that’s why you asked for time off,” Chase grinned.
“Not originally,” Trace admitted not sure how to continue.
“Not originally, but you just couldn’t stay away is what you’re saying isn’t it?” Red asked with a chuckle.
Trace looked up at the older man feeling a blush tinge his face.
Jackson’s warm laugh hit Trace like a slap on the back and he shook his head knowing he was lost.
“Nothing wrong with wanting to see the girl you’re head over heels for,” Red continued. The older man smiled with a shake of his head. “When I was dating Nan, I couldn’t stay away no matter how mad she made me, or how crazy I thought she was. She had her heart in heaven and knew what her life was about. It took her a good long time to help me understand, but in the end I came around.”
“You think what I did was going too far?” Trace asked.
“That’s not for me to say,” Red continued. “You did what you thought you should, and we’ve all been praying for you along the way. God has a plan here even if it looks like a train wreck to us.”
The door opened and Kade stepped in filling the far wall with his bulk. “Who’s having a train wreck?” the big man asked.
“That’d be me,” Trace said raising a hand. “The train wreck is my relationship with Marissa.”
Kade squinted at Trace making him shutter. “I’m going to visit her next week,” Trace said before Kade could get protective.
“Is she doing well?”
“Yes, I just talked to her, and she’s tired but doing alright. Has she been talking to Michelle much?”
“They’re still knocking heads over this whole thing,” Kade admitted. “Michelle will get over it though. She just thinks that Marissa is taking advantage of you.”
“I keep telling her I volunteered,” Trace said.
“It’s a sister thing,” Kade offered with a shrug. “What do you need from us? I want Mini-Mar to be okay,” he finished.
“You know she hates that nickname,” Trace chided.
“Why do you think I use it,” Kade chuckled.
The other men laughed all turning to face Trace once more.
“Son,” Red began. “We’ll be praying for you. I can’t say what you did looks like wisdom to me, but God works in some strange ways. You boys all gather round now,” he continued raising his hands until everyone was in a tight huddle. “Let’s pray.”
Chapter 18
Marissa stood at the baggage claim carousel and smoothed her dress over her rounded belly.
She was nervous, anxious, and excited all at the same time as she watched for Trace. It had been months since she’d seen the handsome cowboy, and she was worried about how she looked.
Deep down she knew it was silly since this marriage was only a convenience, but she couldn’t seem to stop her feeling the way she felt.
It didn’t seem possible that she had fallen in love with the cowboy who had helped her all those months ago, but she knew it was true, and even if they had the marriage dissolved after this baby was born, she wouldn’t give up the hours she had spent getting to know Trace.
Even from miles away, she had learned who he really was and had let her heart go willingly.
She had so many thoughts in her head that when she looked up and saw him coming down the escalator, his familiar cowboy hat on his head it barely registered.
Trace smiled as Marissa looked up and hurried toward her only to have her throw herself into his arms a moment later.
Wrapping his arms around her Trace lifted Marissa off her feet and breathed in the scent of her. She looked radiant, beautiful, and perfect.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” Marissa said and Trace could hear the tears in her voice.
“It’s good to be here,” he said not letting go. “I’m happy to see you,” he finished grunting at her rounded belly poking into his stomach. “Did the baby just kick?” he asked lowering her to her feet.
“Yes,” Marissa said dashing the tears from her eyes. “Here,” she added taking his hand and placing it on her child’s active little feet.
Trace felt the kick and smiled. “That’s amazing!” he said kneeling in the middle of the floor and resting his hand on the baby bump.
Marissa wiped the tears from her eyes as her heart flipped in her chest. She loved the crazy cowboy kneeling before her and would enjoy every minute she had with him.
For a moment the image of Susan praying over her food in the break room flashed across her mind and she understood why the woman gave thanks. She was thankful for Trace, and knew that all of her hard work, planning, and good intentions had not been what brought him into her life.
“You ready to go home?” Trace said rising and taking her hand.
“Let’s get your bag then I’ll show you were we are,” Marissa agreed squeezing his hand as they headed for the baggage carousel. “Did you have a good flight?”
“It was too long,” Trace said looking down into Marissa’s dark eyes. “I did bring you something’s though,” he added grabbing a large black suitcase from the turntable.
“You didn’t need to bring anything,” Marissa said heading for the exit and the car park on the other side, only to stop at Traces’s chuckle.
“Trust me, I didn’t have any choice,” the cowboy said stepping out into the frigid wind of the city. “Everyone had something for you, and you try saying no to Mrs. Wade, Phil, or even Daisy,” he finished shaking his head.
Marissa’s laugh was like an electric charge straight to his heart, and he drank it in like a man dying of thirst. It felt so right being here with her, feeling her hand in his as they walked to the car park.
A harsh gust of wind blew through the walkway, and Trace released her hand wrapping an arm around her protectively. He knew he would have a hard time leaving her again at the end of the week, but he wouldn’t give up the days he had with her now.
Perhaps when this fake marriage came to an end he would have to say goodbye to Marissa, but he knew that he would forever keep the beautiful woman next to him in his heart. If only she could see the love the Father had for her, more than he could ever match no matter how he tried.
“Is it a long drive?” Trace asked loading his suitcase in the trunk of Marissa’s car and moving around to the passenger door.
“Not too far cowboy,” Marissa replied offering a bright smile. “I have to warn you though my apartment is tiny.”
“Good thing you’re only getting me and not Michelle and Kade then,” Trace teased closing the door and looking at Marissa who smiled at him.
Leaning over he placed a kiss on her cheek trying to let her know how much he cared.
Marissa felt her breath freeze in her throat as Trace brushed his lips against her cheek.
Could he care too?
Chapter 17
The short drive out of the city was filled with intermittent bursts of conversation about work and travel, but neither Trace nor Marissa seemed to know what to talk about.
Marissa felt an odd tension between them and tears threatened once more until Trace reached over touching her shoulder.
“It’s like coming home to a place I’ve never been,” he said looking around him. “I’m sorry if it feels odd.”
Marissa smiled feeling herself relax. “I don’t know what to say,”
she admitted. “We talk every day, but now that you’re here, I don’t know what to do.”
“I know what you mean,” Trace said. “I think we both have a lot of questions and thoughts we need to work out.”
Marissa nodded as she turned down a road leading out of the city.
“Give it time,” Trace said. “We have all week.”
Marissa was surprised at how much better she felt at the cowboy’s words, and she felt the familiar affect of his soothing voice on her system.
“You weren’t kidding when you said tiny,” Trace joked as they walked up the two flights of stairs to her apartment, which consisted of a combined kitchen, dining, living area, with a modest bedroom and bathroom tacked on to the back.
“It works,” Marissa said, looking around the comfortable space with fresh eyes. “I don’t need much.”
Trace smiled following her to the bedroom where he placed luggage. “How about I take you out to dinner?” Trace asked. “You can show me around.”
Marissa smiled. It would be nice to go out and be seen with her handsome cowboy, if only he were hers to keep. Over the past few months and weeks, she had grown to know Trace in a way she didn’t think she had ever known anyone else.
He wore his heart on his sleeve and though he wasn’t a push over, he had an easy manner about him that gave her confidence in who he was.
“There’s a little diner down the street,” Marissa said. “It serves a wicked pizza, and everything else is good too.”
Trace smiled reaching out to push a lock of her dark hair behind her ear. How was he supposed to give up the connection to this woman that had developed when this fake marriage was over?
“You look great you know?” Trace said as they made their way down the street as bright stars began to appear in the sky.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” Marissa said laughing as he reached over and took her hand again. It seemed so natural to walk down the street with Trace holding her hand, as if he belonged right there next to her.
“So are you sure you want me to meet your parents?” Trace asked a moment later as he pulled open the door to the eatery.
“Yes and don’t worry about them. Dad will be happy to see you, and even if Mom does think I’m being ridiculous, she won’t be too rough on you,” her soft giggles made Trace relax a little.
“It isn’t every day your fake husband meets your real parents you know,” he teased.
The restaurant was busy on a Friday night, but Trace and Marissa didn’t have to wait long for a table, and soon they were seated at a tiny table with a basket of bread sticks and drinks.
“So what would you like to do while you’re here?” Marissa asked, breaking off a piece of bread and dunking it in sauce. “There are some great museums, several interesting buildings, and even a nice park.”
“I hadn’t really thought about it,” Trace said staring at the warm bread stick in his hand. “I just wanted to see you,” he finished not meeting her eyes.
Marissa’s heart did a somersault in her chest, and she looked up trying to catch his eye. Could she actually mean something to him? Had the hours of phone conversations, silly texts, and even lengthy emails have made him discover feelings for her? She knew she had lost her heart long ago.
“Trace,” Marissa finally spoke. “I really wanted to see you too.”
Trace looked up meeting Marissa’s eyes for the first time as a smile broke out across his face. “Maybe I’m crazy,” he said, “but I really like you Marissa. I don’t want you to have to be here alone.”
Marissa reached across the table laying her hand over his. “Trace you’ve already done so much for me. You’ve helped me see that I can do this, but I don’t want to do it on my own.” She swallowed hard thinking out her next words carefully. “I care for you.”
Trace placed his other hand over Marissa’s. “I care for you too,” he admitted. “At first it was just a means to an end, but since I’ve gotten to know you my feelings have changed.
“Marissa!” A loud squeal shattered the moment like glass. “This must be your husband,” a blonde woman in a too short dress hustled over to their table gushing. “Oh and isn’t he handsome?” she said leaning over and squeezing his bicep with her hand. “Mmm, brawny.”
“Hello Angel,” Marissa said kindly. “I’d like you to meet Trace,” she continued.
“So nice to finally meet you,” the other woman said. “Marissa has told us so much about you at school. Now if she gets tired of you just whistle,” she added with a wink. “I’ll be waiting right around the corner.”
Marissa shook her head as her friend strutted off in high-heeled boots.
“I’m sorry about that,” Marissa said. “Angel is a bit of a flirt,” she finished.
Trace only shook his head. “She seems lonely.”
“Probably,” Marissa admitted as their pizza loaded with pepperoni and veggies arrived. “She doesn’t have a very good track record with men.”
Trace squeezed Marissa’s hand then bowed his head giving thanks for the food and the time they could have together. He had so much more he wanted to say, but it wasn’t time. Marissa needed to know he cared for her, and not only because of the new life she had chosen to give a chance.
Dinner was a comfortable affair but soon they were headed back to the apartment the leftovers wrapped in foil and tucked into an easy to carry bag.
For the past few weeks, Trace had been trying to figure out how to talk to Marissa more about God and salvation, but he never seemed to be able to find the words. He hoped that this trip might bring them closer than ever before with Marissa coming to accept the love of Jesus, but he still didn’t seem to have the words.
Marissa put her key in the lock and opened the door, taking the bag from Trace and heading for the fridge.
“Why don’t you get comfortable,” she said. “I’ll put these away and then we can just talk.”
Trace smiled, his fingers itching to push that stray lock of hair behind her ear once more. How had he fallen so completely for this woman when he knew she wasn’t in a place where he could make her his?
In a few minutes, Marissa joined him on the sofa and he wrapped an arm around her pulling her into his side.
“Trace,” Marissa began, laying her head on his shoulder. “You realize I only have one bed in this place right?”
“I know,” Trace admitted. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”
Marissa sat up. “But I don’t want you to sleep on the couch,” she said. “We’re both adults here, and I know you have your religious thing, but technically we’re married.”
Trace turned pulling his arm away from Marissa as he faced her. “I don’t have a religious thing,” he said gently. “I have convictions and a commitment to live the way God wants me to.”
“Yes but what does it matter if legally we’re married?”
“It matters because I know that when you’re ready, you’ll leave me behind, and I still have to live with my actions. God doesn’t want to ruin things for me, but He does want what is best for me. Sometimes it’s hard to know exactly what to do, but if we obey the word, we’re pretty much on the right track.”
Marissa felt the blood race to her head and her temper rising. “I don’t see why you want to live your life based on some old dusty book that doesn’t allow you to do anything. All it every does is tell people that they’re bad, and that they can’t do the things they want to.”
Trace shook his head placing his hands on either side of Marissa’s face. “That’s not what it does at all,” he said. “The word of God gives us freedom. Without God we’re lost and alone in this world. God loves us, and he knows what is best for us because He made us. His love gives us the freedom to be who we’re supposed to be.”
“How can you believe that? It’s just a way that society established to control us. It has kept women down for years.”
Again, Trace shook his head. “No, it was the guide to making men and women equal,” he s
aid. “The word clearly states that men are to care for their wives as the weaker sex, but that they are also supposed to be willing to sacrifice everything for them. We were made to help each other.”
Marissa wanted to protest, but hadn’t Trace given of himself to help her. She had been afraid to carry on with this baby because of how society, her family, her friends, and how she would view herself. Trace had known that in her heart she wanted this tiny person to love more than almost anything, but was simply too afraid to consider going through with it on her own.
“Like how you stepped up to help me and protect this little one,” she finally said.
“Yes,” Trace said. “I have to admit though it hasn’t been much of a sacrifice for me. I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to get to know a caring, funny, and dedicated woman who wants to make a difference in this world.”
