by Danni Roan
Marissa smiled, leaning her forehead into his as tears sprang to her eyes. “I’m just a teacher,” she said.
“You’re so much more,” Trace insisted. “You have so much love in your heart. It’s why I know that you’re going to be a great mother. I just wish you could see how much more freedom you would have if you would let go of the illusion of control in your life and let God take over.”
Marissa sat up hearing Trace’s words for the first time. She had been raised to be independent, not needing anyone else, but she still felt like there was something missing in her life.
She loved her job, loved her family, and loved the baby that was growing inside her. Was it truly so easy to just turn over your life to God. “It’s too hard,” she said, standing and turning away. “I just can’t see it.”
Trace rose, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her into his arms. “I want you to know the peace and joy I have in my heart,” Trace said gently resting her head on his shoulder. “My family was torn apart by someone who thought that their rights were more important than anyone else’s. My mother tore our family apart, leaving behind not just one but two shattered children.
“When I finally came to understand the love and acceptance of God’s love, I was able to give up all of that anger and pain. It healed me. It renewed me and gave me a second chance at being happy.”
Marissa lifted her head staring into Trace’s eyes seeking the truth she knew she would find there. “Thank you,” she said leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on his lips, before turning away and walking into the bedroom.
Trace watched as Marissa set blankets, sheets, and pillows outside the door before closing the door.
“Lord, I think I made a mess of that,” he said, walking to the pile of bedding and collecting it. “I hope you can fix this mess.”
***
Marissa tossed herself on her bed burying her face in her pillow to muffle the sobs. How could she and Trace be so different? And yet she loved him. There was no doubt in her mind that she loved him and wanted to be with him.
She was thankful for everything he had done and his words echoed in her brain like a sounding bell. Perhaps he had some odd notions, but hadn’t he stepped up to help her?
Sitting up and wiping her eyes she went back over the conversation they had from a few minutes earlier. Was Trace’s heart a reflection of this God that meant so much to him?
Grabbing a tissue, Marissa blew her nose and mulled over the words Trace had shared.
Could she truly be free from her feelings of not being good enough? Could she stop hiding behind Trace and embrace her future?
“God, if you’re real, let me know it,” she said into the dark room. “I don’t understand this, but I can see how much Trace believes, and I know he’s a good man. Show me the way.”
Snuggling back into her blankets Marissa closed her eyes waiting for an answer as she drifted off to sleep.
Chapter 18
Trace woke to sunlight streaming through the window onto the couch where he’d slept. It had taken a long time for him to drift off to sleep, but he had spent the time reading scripture on his phone and praying.
Even with a heavy heart at the thought that he might have to let Marissa go after all, he was sure that he was right where he was supposed to be.
“God, give me wisdom?” he said into the golden glow of a new morning as he got up and headed down the hall to the bathroom.
***
“Do I smell bacon?” Marissa asked stepping out of the bedroom in a fussy pink robe and animal slippers. “Where did you even get bacon?”
“I ran out to the store,” Trace said flipping the eggs in the pan.
“I didn’t know cowboys knew how to cook,” Marissa said staggering through the kitchen to the coffee pot that stood steaming and full on the counter.
“I didn’t know if you had given it up or not,” Trace said nodding as she poured herself a mug.
“I only drink one each day,” Marissa admitted.
“Cowboys have to eat,” Trace continued, shaking his spatula at her. “Therefore they know how to cook.”
Marissa smiled studying his face over her mug of coffee. “And here I thought you had Mrs. Wade for that,” she teased. She was surprisingly well rested after collapsing into bed the night before.
“So what do you have on the agenda,” Trace asked dishing the eggs, bacon, and toast onto plates and placing them on the table.
“Nothing today,” Marissa admitted taking the fork he handed her. She was glad he had found his way around the kitchen. She could get used to someone cooking breakfast for her again. “Tuesday I have a doctor’s appointment though,” she said. “Would you like to come?”
Trace looked up from his plate his eyes meeting hers and holding. “Really?” he asked. “I’d love to.”
Marissa smiled seeing that generous spirit she found so appealing in her cowboy. “So what would you like to do today?”
“How about a museum,” Trace said. “If you get tired, we’ll come back.”
***
They spent the day together exploring the museum and dancing around the issues of the night before. Marissa was exhausted when they came home and happily flopped into the soft sofa cushions while Trace put even more leftovers in the fridge.
“I didn’t know my feet could hurt so much,” Marissa said kicking off her shoes and leaning her head against the back of the sofa. “And I’m a teacher so that’s saying something.”
Trace settled on the floor and took one of Marissa’s feet in his hands slowly working out the aches of the day.
“You don’t have to do that,” Marissa said lifting her head.
“I know, but I want to,” Trace said. “I’m here for you Marissa,” he added twisting his head around to look at her.
“Thank you,” Marissa said her heart filling once more with a deepening affection for the cowboy.
“Trace, tell me more about why you believe what you believe,” she finally said leaning her head back against the couch and letting someone else take care of her for a change.
***
“Are you sure you want to go?” Trace said the next morning as he served breakfast. “You don’t have to. I mean I don’t expect it.”
“I want to go,” Marissa said. “You were so good to me last night and answered all of my questions. I want to go to church with you and find out more,” she said with a smile. “Besides, I’ll be seated next to the handsomest cowboy in the place,” she finished with a giggle.
By the time the message of hope and love was over, Marissa had tears streaming down her face. She suddenly understood what Trace had been saying. But even more, the cowboy had been living the love that the preacher had talked about.
It was easy to trust Trace, and now she could understand the changes in her sister and even Phil. A strange pressure seemed to be building in her chest as Marissa joined in the closing hymn and finally surrendered stepping into the aisle, walking to the front to pray with someone. Behind her, she could feel Trace’s strong presence and her heart seemed to leap.
After praying with and talking to a very nice lady in fall pattern dress Marissa turned to throw herself into Trace’s waiting arms.
“It sounded too simple,” she whispered into his ear. “I couldn’t believe that all you had to do was ask. Thank you so much for helping me see Trace,” she finished with a sniff. “I need you to know that I truly love you,” she finishes pulling back and looking into his face hopefully.
Trace could feel his voice thicken in his throat and tried to speak. “Me too,” he managed before pulling her back into his arms.
For the rest of the week Trace gave himself over to Marissa completely, admitting that he had steadily been falling in love with her for months.
They talked for hours, often staying up late into the night as they considered a future together amidst the burgeoning understanding of faith.
Trace still slept on the sofa, but he pepp
ered their days with sweet kisses and warm embraces. He couldn’t wait until the baby was born and he could propose for real. He already loved Marissa and loved the baby, not only because it was a precious life in God’s eyes, but also because it had brought Marissa to him.
“You ready for this dinner?” Marissa asked nervously as they packed up baked goods and prepared to head to her parent’s home.
“I’m as ready as I’m going to get,” Trace admitted.
“Good, because this is going to be a weird Thanksgiving,” she said lifting her bag and heading for the door.
***
Trace gawked as he climbed out of the car an hour later, his mind trying to wrap itself around the beautiful home he was about to enter.
“This is your parents’ home?” he whispered across the top of the car.
“Yes,” Marissa said. “They aren’t here all the time though, they like to travel.”
“I see,” Trace said, raising a brow to indicate that he didn’t see at all. “Who will be here?” he asked nodding toward a rental in the driveway, as he pulled two pies from the back of the car.
“I don’t know. Mom didn’t say. She just wanted us to be here once I told her you were coming.”
“Here we go then,” Trace said with a smile.
The sound of laughter was the first sound that met Trace’s ears and he turned to look at Marissa in surprise. A shrill giggle made them both grin dropping their goodies on the kitchen counter as they hurried into the living room where an older man was tossing Kadence in the air.
“Marissa. There you are,” an older woman in a dark dress called hurrying over to kiss Marissa on each cheek. “Where have you been,” she continued turning dark eyes on Trace. “Michelle and Kade have been here for hours.”
“I didn’t know they were coming,” Marissa said. “You didn’t tell me.”
“Oh never mind about that. Bring your cowboy in to meet everyone.”
Kade pushed himself out of an overstuffed chair and offered his hand to Trace with a wink and a smile. “You look like you’re doing alright,” the big man said.
“Better than you can know,” Trace said, “but I’m glad to have you here.”
Kade tipped his head inquisitively, but Trace shook him away as the older man introduced himself as Mr. Brighton.
“Don’t take too long lingering here,” Mrs. Brighton said as the men all shook hands again. “It’s time to eat.”
Trace followed Marissa into an elegant dining room as her mother placed a large turkey before Mr. Brighton and handed him a knife.
As the food was served, Trace glanced over at Kade who bowed his head before lifting his fork.
Following suit Trace imitated the big man, smiling when Marissa and Michelle both did the same.
“What all of you?” Mrs. Brighton said. “Honestly this family is going backwards.”
“Don’t fuss Madge,” Mr. Brighton said. “Can’t you see our girls are happy?”
Mrs. Brighton looked at each of her daughters then took her seat at the other end of the table. “Kade, you might as well get it over with,” she said closing her eyes and folding her hands.
Kade Ballard closed his eyes and lifted a prayer of thanksgiving to heaven from the depths of his heart, only stopping when Kadence started pounding his spoon on his high chair.
“Trace, Kade says you work with him at the Broken J,” Mr. Brighton said after they had all started on their meal. “You like the work?”
“Yes sir,” Trace said. “I’ve been working stock most of my life, and my family comes from a long line of sheep herders and ranchers.”
“And what do you want to do next?”
Trace looked up at Marissa whose eyes met his across the table.
“Well, I was thinking I’d like to marry your daughter,” Trace said holding Marissa’s gaze. He couldn’t help but grin when her eyes grew wide.
“I thought you had already married her?” Mrs. Brighton said her voice sharp.
“Yes, ma’am,” Trace admitted wiping his mouth with a napkin. “But this time I’d like to marry her and love her for the rest of our lives.”
Marissa could feel the tears trickling down her face again. These hormone showers were starting to get old. “You mean it?” she asked.
“I mean it,” Trace said. “I think we were made for each other even if it took us a while to figure it out.”
“Can we have a real wedding this time?” Mrs. Brighton asked giving Michelle a harsh look.
“I think I’d like that,” Marissa said. “I’m happy with the ceremony we had at the court house, but it could be a celebration of love, hope, and faith.”
Trace nodded as chatter broke out again. Today was a new start to a journey he never expected. They would have to figure out everything else as it came their way, but he knew that God was with them, and step-by-step, they would get where they were going.
Chapter 20
Marissa twisted to look behind her at the mirror examining the beautiful ivory gown that wrapped her slim shape.
“It’s gorgeous,” she said smiling at her mother. “You were right, it is the perfect gown.”
“Well you did just have a baby a few months ago,” Mrs. Brighton said sniffing. “You needed something that would flatter.”
Marissa looked over at Michelle who was grinning as she fanned the simple train around her little sister.
“Mom you should be the happiest woman on this planet,” Michelle said. “You have two perfect grand babies, and a wedding that you had complete control over.”
“Not exactly,” Mrs. Brighton said handing Marissa a bouquet of ivory roses. “You all insisted on a church wedding.”
Marissa turned the rest of the way and kissed her mother’s cheek. “One day you’ll understand,” she said. “Be happy today.”
Mrs. Brighton nodded dabbing at a tear as her new granddaughter fussed in her basket.
“Oh dear, it sounds like Ashley is waking up,” she said hurrying to the basket and pulling the little girl into her arms. “She looks just like you did at this age.”
Marissa reached for the little girl who had stolen her heart the day she was born.
She’ll probably be fussy until she sees Trace,” she said. “I don’t know how he does it, but he always calms her down when she gets fussy.”
“That man has a way with babies,” Mrs. Brighton said. “I have to say as odd as he is in some ways, I do approve.”
Marissa took her daughter into her arms kissing her cheek. “You’ll have to be a good girl for Grammie,” she said looking at her own special angel. “I’m marrying daddy all over again.”
Marissa had fallen in love with Trace all over again when he’d stayed by her side while she delivered Ashley. He had never let go of her hand for even a minute, not until the doctor had handed him the baby telling him it was a girl.
“She’s day dreaming again,” Mrs. Brighton said. “We’d better get this thing over with,” she added with a tiny sniff as she took the baby back. “I know you’ll all want to get back to Wyoming to start your new life.”
“Mom, you know you can visit us anytime,” Marissa said.
“You can stay with me and Kade,” Michelle added.
The door to the little room opened and Daisy made her way into the already crowded space reaching for Ashley with a smile.
“The men are ready,” she said kissing her tiny niece.
“Ready?” she asked looking up at Marissa, a woman she had been growing to love like a sister of her own.
“Ready,” Marissa said lifting her train and heading for the door.
Daisy kissed the baby again and handed her back to Mrs. Brighton. “We’ll go first,” she said.
Marissa met her father at the back of the church and bit her lip to keep from laughing at Kadence walking down the aisle with his mother who was desperately trying to keep him from pulling the rings from the pillow he held.
“Perhaps two was a bit young for a ring bearer,” h
er father whispered.
“But it’s so cute,” Marissa said.
“Are you happy honey?” Mr. Brighton asked growing serious for a moment. “You know you don’t have to do this.”
“Dad, I love Trace,” Marissa admitted. “The more I know him, the more I love him, and the more I understand God’s plan for my life, the more I grow.”
