Potions and Pageants

by R K Dreaming

  “I was not going to!”

  “Good.”

  “So you really think they… Tried to murder you?” She said the last part hesitantly, as if she still didn’t fully believe that this could have been true.

  “I think that whoever it was — and we both know exactly who I mean — was furious at me for practically accusing them of murder on stage yesterday, and right when they conveniently almost had Judge Emma’s death put down to being an accident. Somebody wanted me to be quiet, but if they thought that they were going to shut me up so easily, they’ve got another think coming!”

  Nan was eating her sandwich half-heartedly. “I still can’t believe it,” she said in a quiet voice.

  “Then what are you doing here?” Percy said almost savagely. “Why aren’t you running around the assembly hall getting the stage ready for your precious next show on Friday?”

  Nan gave her a hurt look.

  Percy felt heat flood her face. “Sorry,” she said quietly.

  Nan was quiet for a while and then she said, “I did what you wanted and checked my mum’s workshop. Remember you said you thought Bella had taken something?”

  Percy sat up and leaned forward eagerly. “And?”

  “And there was something missing,” said Nan hesitantly.

  “Ha! I knew it!” said Percy jubilantly.

  Nan added quickly, “But it was only a bottle of love potion. Or two bottles actually. Although I don’t know why Bella would need it. Succubae don’t need love potion to get boys to like them. They can just use their Allure.”

  Percy frowned. “Why does you mum have love potion? I thought your mum didn’t make frippery stuff like that. Just healing potions and things.”

  Nan blushed. “We’ve been a little short of money for bills and things. Dad’s hours got cut back at work. The house needed some repairs and... London prices you know.”

  Percy didn’t know what to say.

  “So anyway,” said Nan a bit more brightly. “One of mum’s friends said she knows this wizard with a shop in London who is making a lot of money from love potions. A range for teenagers. Girls mostly. And mum can do a much better one than him.”

  “So your mum’s been making them?”

  Nan nodded. “And mum’s friend has been selling them, but only to people who won’t misuse it. And it is just really harmless stuff that wears off really quickly.”

  “And a bottle of it was missing?”

  “Two,” said Nan. “I checked the inventory. But even if Bella did take them, it’s not like she could use them to poison people. They really are completely harmless.”

  She looked at Percy almost pleadingly, as if she was desperate for Percy to believe her.

  Percy heaved a sigh and nodded. “And are you sure that nothing else was missing? Your mum’s got hundreds of bottles and jars of ingredients and things in there. How could you really know if anything was gone?”

  “That’s true. But Bella’s not a witch. Even if she did take some ingredients, there’s no way she’d be able to brew up a potion herself. And the only ready-made potions mum had were the love potions. She’d made up some batches in advance in case her friend got a rush of orders.”

  “Does your mom have any ingredients that could make something dangerous?”

  Nan’s face went pale. She nodded. “I suppose. But that’s only because even good potions need some of the same ingredients as dark potions. And mom would never make anything dangerous. Never!”

  “But your mum’s grimoire was in there,” said Percy quietly. “And all of those books. I saw Bella looking at the bookshelf. What if she found a recipe for some sort of strange, dark potion, and then stole the ingredients for it? What if she knows someone who could make the potion?”

  “But dark potions are usually really hard potions,” protested Nan, clearly fearful at the idea that her mom’s magic books and ingredients might have anything to do with a murder. “Really complex. It takes years and years of study to be able to do them And I can’t think of any grown witch or wizard who would be willing to make something like that for a teenage succubus.”

  “Not even if Bella paid a lot?”

  “Would you?” said Nan bluntly. “Would you sell a dark potion to someone like Bella and then trust her to keep it a secret? The Conclave of Magic doesn’t allow dark magic, remember?”

  “I suppose not,” said Percy glumly.

  Nan seized on this little ray of hope. “And if it was Bella who attacked you yesterday, then why would she use a potion on you? She’s a succubus. She could have just drained your life force away with her Hunger. In fact, she could have done that to Nilgun too!”

  Nan looked immensely relieved at this logic.

  This was something that Percy had not considered. Succubae and incubae fed on the life energy of other beings in order to stay alive. The same way as vampires fed on blood.

  But just like most vampires, most succubae and incubae were not killers. They took only what they needed. Percy loved eggs, but that didn’t mean she killed chickens to get them. The idea was horrific to her. Just like the idea of murdering another being was horrific to most succubae and incubae.

  Percy certainly could not imagine Bella doing such a thing.

  “Darnit,” she muttered.

  She sighed and then rubbed her eyes tiredly, and then winced as this caused her fingers to brush against her tender nose.

  “Maybe she used poison potion because it’s easier than draining them of their life energy,” she said. “Or maybe she just didn’t want to leave any evidence that a succubus had done it.”

  But there was no conviction in Percy’s voice as she said it.

  “It could have been anyone,” said Nan. “It could even be either one of the other judges. Because I can’t believe that a student would want Judge Emma dead.”

  Percy groaned in frustration. She hated that Nan was right about this. She admitted, “I was watching Bella most of the time yesterday anyway and I didn’t see her go anywhere near Judge Emma’s handbag.”

  “Someone did do it though,” said Nan quietly but intensely. “Someone hurt you yesterday and tried to force a potion down your throat. Why would they do that if they weren’t scared that you knew something?”

  “Do you believe me then?” said Percy. “You believe me that someone murdered Judge Emma?”

  It actually hurt to ask that question, because she was afraid that even now Nan might say no.

  But Nan didn’t. Nan nodded, looking grim.

  “But why should they be scared of you?” she said. “Even after you told everyone you thought it was murder, everyone still believed it was an accident. Some of them even saw it happen. I don’t understand why you screaming murder frightened someone so much that they attacked you.”

  And then she sucked in a shocked breath. Her eyes opened wide. “Unless they saw you,” she breathed. “Unless they saw you take that green juice!”

  The two girls stared at each other. Percy gasped, and seized Nan’s hands tightly. “Which means the poison potion really was in the juice!” they both said together.

  17. A Draught Of Doom

  Wednesday after school, Nan came home with Percy. She insisted that the preparations for Friday’s beauty pageant final were well in hand.

  “I need a break from them anyway,” she said. “And the sooner we finish that aviary, the sooner we find out what was in that green juice.”

  On the way home Percy told Nan about the effect the murder had had on Lucifer. Even the soul-eating part.

  Nan sighed. “I figured as much,” she said. “He’s the only reason you’d have suddenly got a bee under your bonnet about solving this whole murder thing.”

  Percy looked at her anxiously. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

  “Of course not,” said Nan. “He’s as much my problem as he is yours. After all, we’ve always been in this together.”

  A sudden wave of emotion washed over Percy. She had to swallow hard to get
rid of the very large lump that had appeared in her throat.

  “Hell-parents. Earth-parents, what are you gonna do?” said Nan lightly, as if she too felt awkward about all the emotion floating around in the air.

  She linked arms with Percy and they walked the rest of the way in amicable silence

  “Does Mr Bramble really know a hegwitch?” she whispered very quietly as they let themselves into the house.

  Percy nodded. “He let slip about it once by accident, and then he never spoke about it again. But I didn’t forget. Even when I asked him to take the green juice to her yesterday, he wouldn’t admit that he really knew her.”

  “Wow!” said Nan. “A real life hegwitch. That’s incredible. And kind of scary.”

  “Nah,” said Percy. “Mr Bramble is a really good sort. He wouldn’t know a hegwitch if she wasn’t a good sort too.”

  “Can you imagine Councilor Strickt’s face if he knew that you had a heg living at the bottom of your garden?” said Nan with a chuckle. “And that he actually knows a real life hegwitch? He’d have an apoplexy! He’d probably demand for her to be exterminated.”

  “I bet he would,” said Percy darkly. “And poor Mr Bramble too for not reporting her. It’s so unfair how the Eldritch Council persecutes hegs. They’re so misunderstood.”

  “The Conclave of Magic doesn’t trust them much either,” said Nan. “I kind of asked my mum.”

  Percy looked at her in alarm.

  Nan said quickly, “I didn’t tell her about Mr Bramble of course. I would never.”

  “Do you think he’ll mind you helping me?” said Percy thoughtfully.

  “Oh he won’t mind that,” said Nan airily. “As long as I don’t use magic, then we can say it was fair. And Mr Bramble loves me, remember?”

  Percy rolled her eyes. This was very true.

  As they walked through the kitchen, Percy was surprised to see Jeeves floating around in there. His eyes lit up when he saw Nan.

  He swept towards her, his arms outstretched, shrieking, “Cherub!”

  He must have forgotten to turn on his ability to touch physical things, because he swooshed right through her, and Nan shrieked in surprise at the shock of cold.

  Looking embarrassed he came in for a second try, and they hugged.

  She laughed. “Gosh, Mr Jeeves. It hasn’t even been a week.”

  “I know,” he cried. “But before that week it was years and years, and I feared it might be years and years again. How wonderful to see you, Cherub. Would you like some rice pudding?”

  “I would love some,” said Nan.

  “Suck-up,” said Percy under her breath.

  Jeeves crossed his arms and glowered at Percy. He tapped his feet against the ground, though they made no noise at all.

  Percy made a face. “Sorry, Jeeves. I was really horrible to you, wasn’t I? I promise to never ever throw your rice pudding away again. And it would be the saddest thing I can imagine if I never got to taste it again. Please can I have some too?”

  Looking mollified, he ruffled her hair. “Of course you can. But what happened to you, Percy? Your poor face!”

  “It was just an accident,” Percy said quickly. “Nothing to worry about. It’s fine really.”

  “You look an absolute horror! Oh, if your mother were only here to fix it!” he lamented. “I’ll make you some chicken soup to make you feel better. Oh no, you don’t like soup. How about some of those fishcakes you love again? And some tasty pad thai noodles?” He rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “Oh, that does sound wonderful if I say so myself.”

  He swooped away, and began busying himself with pots and pans, and then buried his nose inside the cooler.

  The two girls went outside to the garden, fighting their way through the brambles, and picked up on building the aviary where Percy had left off yesterday.

  It was much easier with two people, and a lot more fun too. Especially since Nan loved to read instructions, and figured out the several places where Percy had gone wrong the previous day, and took over the job of fixing those particular bits herself.

  They were making excellent progress when Jeeves swooped straight through the brick walls out of the house, and came to investigate what they were up to.

  “The aviary is it?” he boomed. “Old Bramble has been complaining about that. How he went on! I thought I’d never hear the end of it.”

  To their astonishment, he snatched up the hammer and another weird little metal tool that had come inside the aviary packaging, and said, “Let me at it!”

  He began busily arranging pieces of wood, and hammering away rapidly, and applying screws and bolts and who knew what. And before they knew it the aviary was finished.

  He glided backwards, and then floated up above it to examine it. And then he soared all around it, and clapped his hands and beamed, declaring, “It’s looking wonderful, if I do say so myself.”

  It looked like a palatial little home for wild birds who didn’t need it, was what Percy thought. What a waste of her time!

  “Jeeves, if you knew how to build this thing yourself,” she said, “how come you never helped Mr Bramble with it?”

  “He complained so much that I knew it would be a chore,” said Jeeves with an impatient flourish of his hand. “And you’d better not tell him that I helped you, or he’ll forever be demanding for me to build all sorts. I have my hands quite full with my own duties. Come along now, dinner is ready.”

  He swooshed back towards the house, and Percy shouted after him, “We’ll be there soon. We just have to talk to Mr Bramble first.”

  She and Nan picked their way across the path to Mr Bramble’s door, and when they knocked on it, he opened it immediately.

  “Done, is it?” he asked eagerly.

  Without waiting for a response, he tottered on his short little legs very quickly towards the aviary, and gave a cry of delight when he saw it.

  The aviary was a peaked structure which was tall enough to enclose the small tree entirely. The robins in all of their nests would have been trapped inside it, but for the fact that there were some very tiny little round holes right at the top which were just about large enough for the birds to fly out of.

  They flocked out now when they saw Mr Bramble, and flew this way and that over his head, doing a little dance. A few all landed on his shoulders, twittering in what sounded very much like glee.

  “Oh my little birdies!” he said almost tearfully. “My little birdies’ babies! Oh those horrid crows and mean magpies will never raid your nests and eat your babies again! I’ve asked and I’ve asked and they will not listen and this will teach them the lesson they need!”

  He turned around, and flung his arms around Percy.

  She hugged him back, feeling more than a trifle guilty. She had been completely unaware that Mr Bramble was having such a trauma about his baby birds.

  Mr Bramble did not seem to hold it against her. He was busy wiping his eyes. Then he saw Nan was with her and his eyes widened with joy.

  “Cherub!” He rushed forward to throw his arms around her. “Cherub! You came back! To think I had not a moment to speak with you when you came last time. It made me so sad. But that terrible man from the Eldritch Council was here, and I was all in a flutter. I should have spared a moment to greet you properly!”

  Nan returned his hug, looking somewhat guilty that she had earlier expressed her doubts about his friend, the hegwitch.

  “Mr Bramble, do you want to join us for dinner?” Nan said.

  “I will,” he declared. “Of course I will! But first, I have something. Let me run and get it.”

  He disappeared back into his little underground house, and reappeared a few minutes later, holding a scroll and a small glass jar in his hands. He handed the jar to Percy.

  “What is it?” she said, eyeing the sticky black paste inside suspiciously.

  “Unguent,” he said. “To fix the horrid horror that’s happened to your face.”

  “Ah! Thanks, Bra
mble. I forgot you were a genius with that kind of stuff.”

  He unfolded the scroll of parchment he had bought with him and examined the scrawl of writing on it.

  “Draught of Doom,” he read out.

  “Huh?” said Percy. She was busy unscrewing the unguent and tentatively sniffing it.

  “What?” squeaked Nan, looking astonished, but not in a good way.

  “That was what had horribly corrupted the green juice that Percy gave me. My friend says it was the Draught of Doom. A very strong one. Much too strong. A different Draught of Doom to any she had encountered before.”

  “Different?” squeaked Nan.

  He nodded, looking grim. “Powerful and complex, she said. One of the most excellent Draughts of Doom she had ever encountered. Does that help your investigations?”

  Percy looked at Nan, because Nan seemed to know exactly what a Draught of Doom was. Percy had not heard of it.

  Nan nodded, and said grimly, “It does. Thank you, Mr Bramble.”

  “Mr Bramble,” demanded Percy. “How did you get that so soon? You said you wouldn’t send it to your friend until after I had finished the aviary!”

  “I always knew that you were capable of keeping your promises, Persephone prince,” said Mr Bramble fondly. “And now you have.”

  Percy shook her head at him, but he only beamed. He followed them up to the house for dinner.

  Unable to discuss this discovery fully with Nan in the presence of Jeeves and Mr Bramble, Percy was impatient throughout the whole of dinner, and eager for the eating to be over and done with.

  Nan on the other hand seemed to be enjoying her dinner very much.

  “Oh Jeeves, you cannot imagine how much I have missed your cooking!” she said with a great sigh, as she helped herself to another plateful of pad thai noodles.

  “Leave room for rice pudding,” he admonished her.

  When they had finished their mains, he swept away their plates, and happily served up three large bowlfuls for them all. Mr Bramble ate the rice pudding almost furtively.

  Nan laughed. “Stop looking so guilty, Mr Bramble. There’s no harm in eating rice pudding!”

  “You must never ever tell another heg that I ate this!” he insisted. “Oh how I have been corrupted by the city ways.”