Abandon

by Meg Cabot

  “And now there are Furies after me,” I said.

  Now that bright silver gaze finally turned full on my face.

  “There aren’t any Furies after you,” he said. He looked genuinely puzzled. “Why should there be?”

  “Well,” I said. Because you chose me, I wanted to say. Like Hades chose Persephone. I opted to play it safe, however, in case he accused me of flirting again, and settled instead for saying, “Because you gave me the necklace.”

  “And you threw a cup of tea in my face,” he reminded me drily. “Then you left. I’m fairly certain even the Furies got that message loud and clear. They’re hardly likely to come after someone who hates me just as much as they do. In fact, the Furies probably consider you one of their closest allies.”

  I moved my hand away from his, stung…even if most of what he’d said was true. Well, the tea part, anyway.

  “I told you, I only did that because I was scared,” I said. “And I’m not a Fury. Although I don’t think it would hurt if you checked yourself a little more often, before you went around wrecking yourself.” When he just stared at me, uncomprehending, I explained, “You could be slightly more hospitable to guests when they arrive in your world, and you could also not go around trying to murder innocent people all the time, like that jeweler you almost killed.”

  He looked indignant. “He wasn’t innocent. He was an ass. He should never have touched you. He deserved everything he got.”

  I lifted my gaze to the stars, which burned cold and clear above us, now that the clouds had parted. Because Isla Huesos was so small and so far from the mainland and any major city, I could see way more stars in my backyard here than I’d ever been able to see in my backyard in Westport. Sometimes I even caught glimpses of the Milky Way.

  “John,” I said, fighting for patience. “Mr. Smith told me Furies can possess any human they want to, if they have a weak enough character.”

  “They can,” John said, sounding skeptical. “But they hardly ever do unless it’s to punish me somehow. So I still don’t understand why you think they would come after you, when you’ve made it so clear you want nothing to do with me.”

  I lowered my gaze from the stars to look at him. He was so frustrating.

  “Why else do you think that old man was so interested in the necklace?” I demanded. “If he wasn’t a Fury?”

  “Maybe because he was a jeweler,” he pointed out.

  I buried my face in my hands. How was I ever going to get through to him?

  “What about my teacher, Mr. Mueller?” I asked from between my fingers. “Are you trying to tell me he’s not a Fury?”

  “You just admitted to me last night that you put yourself in that danger,” John said. I saw, when I lowered my hands, his expression darken. “You willingly walked into it in order to trap him. He didn’t come after you.”

  I wanted to correct him. Mr. Mueller had very much come after me, by going after my best friend.

  But he hadn’t killed Hannah. She’d killed herself. Still…

  “What he did to Hannah was wrong,” I said. “Someone needed to stop him.”

  “But you didn’t really want him dead,” he said. In the dancing blue light cast by the pool, his expression was half grave, half amused. “You know how you are, Pierce. You came out of the house at midnight to scoop a lizard out of the swimming pool to save it from dying.”

  “How do you know that?” I asked wonderingly. “Unless…” I broke off, staring at him, realization dawning at last. “Wait. You threw that lizard into the pool. You knew I’d see it and come out here to save it, and then you could talk to me. Didn’t you?”

  He didn’t even bother denying it. Instead, he leaned forward until his face was just inches from mine to counter, “If Richard Smith told you so many terrible things about that necklace, like that it killed a thousand people, and that Furies would come after any girl I gave it to in order to hurt me through her — which you obviously believe or you wouldn’t be asking me all these questions — why are you still wearing it? I thought you hated me because I’m such a jerk.”

  My pulse gave a violent leap. Was it because of the question — he’d seen right through me — or his sudden proximity?

  “I do,” I said, climbing to my feet in what I hoped looked like an indignant manner, though inwardly, I was shaking. “In fact, I’m going back inside. In the future, John, I would appreciate it if you would stay on your side of the island, and I will stay on mine. Also if you didn’t try to kill people — or lizards — to get my attention. Good night.”

  But I hadn’t gone more than a single step before my hand was seized. The next thing I knew, he was pulling me back — just as I’d taken him by the hand and pulled him earlier.

  Only he hadn’t even bothered to get up. He merely pulled me into his lap.

  I was so surprised to find myself there, at first I could only stare up at his face in shock, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

  “John,” I started to say. “You really can’t just —” Then his lips came down over mine. And all of it — the sound of the waterfall, and the croaking frogs, and the whine of the cicada, and the lights at the base of the palm trees, and the wavy blue reflection of the pool water over everything — went away, and it was only about John and the hardness of his arms as they tightened around me, and the wood-smoke smell of him, and the softness of his hair beneath my fingers, and the way I could feel his heart drumming against mine, and the fact that I couldn’t believe any of this was happening, couldn’t believe it had never happened before, couldn’t believe I’d never allowed it to happen before, never wanted it to stop.…

  “Wait,” I said breathlessly, pulling my mouth away from his. “John. Wait.” I had to put a hand to his chest and physically push him back. “Wait a minute. ”

  “What?” His arms hadn’t loosened their hold on me one iota. “What’s wrong?”

  What was wrong? Everything. Nothing. I didn’t know. I couldn’t think. I felt as if the Milky Way, hovering above our heads like a celestial pitcher, had suddenly overturned, pouring suns and planets down my throat. Stars seemed to be shooting out of my fingers and toes, the ends of my hair.

  “We can’t do this,” I said, even as he was kissing my throat.

  “Yes,” he said, a glow in his eyes I’d never seen there before. “We can.”

  “No,” I said. “I mean, I can’t.” My pulse was racing so fast, I thought my heart was going to explode right out of my chest, the way it had seemed to when I’d run down those steps away from him. Only now it was definitely not from epinephrine. “I need to think about this.”

  He lifted his head to look down at me.

  “I’ve given you long enough to think about it,” he said. “Almost two years. You wore the necklace that whole time. You even took it back after I gave you a chance to be free, by throwing it away. Now you know what it is, and you’re still wearing it. You know what that means, Pierce.”

  I realized now what the glow was in his eyes. It was triumph.

  No wonder my heart was beating so fast. He was fire, and I was kindling.

  I was doomed.

  “All that means,” I assured him, struggling to wiggle out of his arms, “is that it’s possible you aren’t as big a jerk as I may once have accused you of being.”

  To my relief, he let go of me. He didn’t look happy about it, just like the time I’d made him let Mr. Mueller go. But he did.

  “It means you care about me,” he said.

  “I care about everyone,” I retorted. “You said so once yourself. I’m a very caring person.”

  “When can I see you again?” he demanded.

  Of course he’d seen right through me. My sarcasm was just a defense mechanism to hide how truly unnerved I was at my body’s reaction to his.

  I’d known from the fact that I hadn’t been able to keep away from the cemetery that I was drawn to him.

  But I’d been telling myself it had just been becau
se of the unfinished business between us. And the fact that he kept going around trying to kill people on my behalf. How could I ever have anticipated what I’d heard in Richard Smith’s office? Or this…the immediate chemical reaction that seemed to occur when our lips met? My mouth was still tingling.

  What did any of it mean? Where could it go? He was a death deity. I was a senior in high school.

  This was never going to work.

  He didn’t share my pessimistic views.

  “Tomorrow,” he said, climbing to his feet. His gaze seemed to consume me. “I will see you here tomorrow. At dawn.”

  “John,” I said, shaking my head. This was happening way too fast. “No. Not dawn. That’s when normal people are still sleeping. Plus, I have school.”

  “Dusk, then.” The silver eyes flashed. “Meet me here at dusk.”

  “John. We need to talk about this rationally. You warned me last night,” I said, “not to go back to the cemetery. That it wasn’t safe for me there. Was that just hyperbole?” I had looked up the word. It means an exaggerated statement not intended to be taken literally. “Or did you really mean it?”

  He stepped forward, wrapped an arm around my waist, pulled me against him, then kissed me some more.

  It was impossible to think about the cemetery or Furies or Coffin Night when he was kissing me. It was impossible to believe anything bad could happen, ever, when he was kissing me. All I could think about was him.

  He let his mouth linger on mine, neither possessively nor sweetly…like his mouth just belonged there on mine.

  And he was right. It did. It always had.

  I couldn’t believe I hadn’t known this before. Maybe I had.

  Maybe that had been the problem all along.

  When he finally let go of me, I felt as if my skin might actually be giving off the same shimmery reflection as the pool water.

  “You should very, very definitely stay out of the cemetery,” he said in a slightly raspy voice. “That is not hyperbole. I’ll meet you here tomorrow night at seven o’clock. I won’t wait a minute longer. Wherever you are then, I’ll come looking for you.” He looked down at my pajamas and frowned a little. “Wear that dress you had on last night, the one with the buttons.”

  And then he was gone.

  And as the wings of starlings bear them on

  In the cold season in large band and full,

  So doth that blast the spirits maledict…

  DANTE ALIGHIERI, Inferno, Canto V

  The next morning, I didn’t get up so much as float up.

  “You’re in a good mood,” Mom said as I poured milk on my cereal.

  “What?” I asked her distractedly.

  “You’re humming,” she said with a smile. “You seem like you’re in a good mood.”

  “Mom,” I said. “You know that guy Tim?”

  She raised her eyebrows. “Yes?”

  “You should totally go to the boat show with him. I think it would be good for you.”

  “Really?” she said, looking amused. “What caused this change of heart?”

  “Oh,” I said. “I don’t know. You should be happy.”

  “Well,” Mom said. “Thank you, Pierce. That is so generous of you to give me your permission to be happy.” She looked thoughtful. “Maybe I will give him a call later, though. I was thinking the New Pathways kids might like a tour of the marine lab. You know we’ve made a lot of strides in —”

  “You do that, Mom,” I said, and patted her on the shoulder. I wasn’t so blissed out that I wanted to hear about the strides the marine lab was making.

  In the car to school, Alex wasn’t so amused by my good mood.

  “I’m still mad at you for yesterday,” he said, honking at a chicken that wouldn’t get out of the middle of the road. There were chickens and roosters all over Isla Huesos. They ran wild around the island. “It’s just not cool. Seth and those guys — they’re bad news. You just don’t know.”

  “I do know,” I said. Alex had no idea what I knew. But he’d reminded me of something. How was I going to see John if I had those stupid A-Wingers in my house, building that coffin?

  And what about Uncle Chris? He was supposed to give me driving lessons after school.

  Oh, well. I didn’t care. Everything would all sort itself out somehow. It always did. What did it matter, anyway? For the first time in the longest time I could remember, I was happy. Didn’t I deserve to be happy? I certainly thought so.

  “Are you even listening to me?” Alex demanded. We were pulling into the parking lot at school.

  “I’m sorry, what?” I asked him.

  “Jesus,” he said. “What is wrong with you this morning? Did you not take your pills?”

  “I’m sorry, Alex,” I said. “I’m listening. It’s just…well, there’s something I should probably tell you. But you’re not going to like it.”

  He swung into a parking space and pulled on the brake. “I swear to God, Pierce,” he said. “If you tell me you’re going out with Seth Rector, I’m going to throw you out of this car.”

  “No,” I said. “What? Don’t be stupid. But those guys kind of invited themselves over to my house to build the senior coffin this year.”

  He stared at me for what had to be a full minute. For a few seconds, I actually got scared, thinking he might be having a stroke or something. His eyes looked as if they were starting to cross.

  “Look, Alex,” I said hurriedly. “Don’t be mad. I only told them they could do it if Mom said yes, because you saw how happy she looked when everybody was talking about Coffin Night in the New Pathways office yesterday. And then they just showed up with the wood before I even got a chance to talk to her. She let them in. You know how much she wants me to fit in here. I can totally tell them to come pick up the wood if it really upsets you —”

  But by then he was already shaking his head. “Pierce,” he said. “Pierce, Pierce, Pierce.”

  “What?” I asked anxiously. “Please don’t tell me anything about how they burned down the garage of the last guy whose house they built the coffin in, because I already know that, Alex. I know what I’m getting myself into, okay?” I reflexively touched my necklace. “It’s going to be okay.”

  It was going to be more than okay. At least, I hoped so. But I couldn’t tell him that, of course.

  He was still shaking his head. But he was grinning, too.

  “You know what?” he said finally. “You’re right.”

  I stared at him, not sure I’d heard him correctly. “What did you say?”

  “You’re right.” He shrugged. “It’s going to be okay. It’s going to be great, actually. It’s kind of perfect.” He reached out his right hand. “Put it here, cuz. You’re my girl.”

  I looked at his hand warily. But I stuck mine into it and let him do some complicated things to my limp fingers.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked him as we made our way into school along with the rest of the hordes. “How is it kind of perfect? I thought you’d be mad at me.”

  “It just is,” Alex said. There was actually a bounce in his step. “Don’t worry about it, all right? Forget you even told me. It’s all good. Hey,” he said to a guy who’d greeted him with a cry of “Yo, Cabrero.”

  “But…” My bubble of happiness wasn’t entirely shattered. Though it was slightly tarnished. “I don’t get it. I thought you hated those guys.”

  “Oh, I do,” he said. “But here’s the thing.” He slung an arm around my neck. “If they’re at your house, I’ll always know where they are. Because you’ll let me know when they’re there. Right?”

  “Of course,” I said. “If you want me to. But why do you need to know where they are?”

  “Don’t you worry about it. Like I said.” He grinned down at me. He really did look happy. “We’re good.”

  “But you’re not going to tell, right?” I still had a slightly bad feeling about all of this. “Where the you-know-what is? Because that would reflect badl
y on both of us, I think.”

  “Oh, you do not have to worry about that, cuz,” he said, and gave me a wink. “See you at lunch? Don’t screw it up this time. At the flagpole in the middle of the Quad. It really couldn’t be simpler, Pierce. I don’t know how even you could have messed it up yesterday.”

  Yeah. Neither did I. Except that I’d been scared of the cafeteria.

  Today, I didn’t think I’d have that problem. Today, I couldn’t see myself feeling scared of anything.

  My happiness restored, I floated through first, second, and third periods. I was sitting in fourth period — which happened to be econ, the class I shared with Kayla, who’d greeted me with a smile and a “Hey! How you doing? So you and Alex made up, huh? I just saw him in English. Why is he in such a good mood?” — when there was a knock on the classroom door.

  That was what roused me from the little doodle I’d been making of a girl in a coffin rocket ship that shot flowers at people. That and the teacher saying my name.

  “Pass for you.” She handed me a pink slip of paper with my name written on it. “You’re wanted in the office.”

  The New Pathways office. Everyone in the class began to hoot, knowing I’d probably accrued an ISS or OSS somehow. Though for the life of me, I couldn’t think what I’d done. Unless…

  “Stop it,” the teacher — I hadn’t been in there long enough to remember her name — chastised them. “Take your things, Pierce. It’s close to the end of the period. You probably won’t have time to come back for them before lunch.”

  I scooped up my books and bag. Kayla made a questioning face at me. I shrugged. I had no idea what it was about.

  Except of course I did. I only hoped my fear didn’t show in my face.

  What had John done now? I’d thought things were finally better. Better? I thought things were good.

  And okay, maybe I’d only been fooling myself. Maybe a girl — not even an NDE — can’t have a normal relationship with a death deity.

  But why does she have to be punished for trying?

  Because as I approached the office, I saw through the windows around it that things were even worse than I’d imagined. Worse than those hoots back in the classroom had indicated.