I Am Unworthy
Page 21
I channelled every bad memory; every fight, every hunger pain, every ounce of fear I’d ever experienced, every last drop of resentment. It was like I could feel it all powering through my veins, coming to my aid.
“I. WILL. KILL. YOU!” I roared at him, grabbing the chair and swinging it like a baseball bat. He was caught off-guard and there was a satisfying crack as it collided with the side of his skull. He crumpled to the floor, grabbing a hold of the kitchen worktop to stop him from falling completely. He was on his knees, shaking his head to try and clear his vision. I launched a kick at his face, catching him across the jaw and causing him to drop to all fours, blood dripping from his mouth. I tried to kick again but he grabbed my foot at the last minute, forcing me away from him. I lost my balance, landing hard on my arse. It was a race to see who would get up first.
Chapter 31
Isabel
“What do you mean, it was their father!?”
“He...he was beating them…” I sobbed, my tears out of control now. I was imagining every horrible scenario possible, sickening scenes flashing through my head.
“When I found out, I wanted to tell you...but Josh made me promise...he didn’t want...he didn’t want…” I couldn’t get the words out. I couldn’t breathe. I really couldn’t breathe.
“Sammy, calm her down!” Tires screeched as we went around another corner at a terrifying speed. I was vaguely aware of horns blaring, but it sounded distant. I couldn’t see anything beyond what was in my head. Couldn’t hear anything anymore. I only saw Josh’s lifeless eyes staring at me.
I felt a sharp pain in my knee, pulling me out of the darkness in my head. Mum’s hand gripped it tightly. She was twisted so that half of her body was almost in the back of the car with me.
“Look at me.” She let go of my knee, only to grip my jaw. Hard.
“We are going to fix this. We are going to save them. I am not going to let anything happen to them. OK, Izzy? Do you hear me? This is not your fault. Everything will be OK.” There was no way she could know that. How could she know that? But the fire in her eyes was blaring in full force. I believed her. I did. They were going to be OK. They had to be OK.
Chapter 32
Joshua
He was a fraction quicker than me and he used his height to his advantage, jumping over Ryan’s body on the floor to grab my head and slam it against the worktop. The pain was instant and almost unbearable. Almost. My vision was darkening, but then I saw Ryan’s immobile form out the corner of my eye, and I roared back to life. He wasn’t expecting my knuckles to connect with his nose and I felt a flash of satisfaction as I watched as, once again, blood spurted from it.
“You fucking shit...you…” his voice garbled as the blood sprayed into his mouth. I didn’t hesitate. There would be no mercy tonight. I started raining punches on him, throwing all my weight into every. Single. One. There was a sharp pain in my left hand, but I kept going. I was winning. I could see it. He was faltering. He wasn’t fighting back.
Chapter 33
Isabel
“Try calling Georgie again,” Dad shouted above yet another car horn.
“I have been! He’s not fucking answering! Shit!” Mum slammed her hand into the dashboard. She never swore. It was strange to hear her swear. This was bad.
“How much longer, Charlie? HOW MUCH LONGER?”
“Five minutes honey. Five minutes.” Five minutes Josh, hold on…
Chapter 34
Joshua
Fuck. This was bad. I thought he was going down. He wasn’t. He was just waiting for the right time. I thought that was it. I slowed down. A crucial mistake. Between my punches as I started to slow, feeling my energy traitorously starting to dissipate, he sprung forward and pushed me as hard as he could. I hit the back of my head on the hard, cold tiled floor, feeling the impact rattling through my brain. The open front door was swinging slightly in the wind. I was inches away from my vomit.
Big Mike turned his back to me, reaching for something on the side. I struggled to a sitting position, but the room was spinning. It was like trying to move through mud, I was so slow. I could see him creeping towards me, but there were five of him. And they were swaying, blurry. I frowned, concentrating as hard as I could to see what was in front of me. He was a foot or two away when my vision snapped into focus, a renewed punch of adrenaline kicking in as I saw what he was holding. A knife. A fucking big one.
“No…” I scrambled to my feet, stumbling and flinging my arms out to hold onto something. Anything. He started to laugh.
“It’s over. It’s always amused me that you thought you would ever beat me. Every time you fought, I could see the hope in your eyes. Pathetic. I am bigger. I am stronger. I am better than you, you worthless piece of shit.” His face was a mask of red. It seemed like blood was dripping from every crease in his face. But I could still see his eyes. I could see the hatred. I glanced at the front door, briefly considering running. I caught sight of Ryan again and shame and guilt racked through me. I couldn’t leave him. And where the fuck was Georgie? He couldn't have hurt him too, no way. Please God, no.
“Where’s...Georgie…?” My voice sounded weak even to my own ears and I cringed, not wanting him to know how bad I was hurt. How weak I felt.
“Why do you care? You’ll be dead soon,” he laughed, spit flying from the corner of his mouth. He was closing in and I still couldn’t see properly as I desperately tried to fend off unconsciousness. He sprung forward, jabbing the knife at my abdomen. I twisted, narrowly avoiding the blade. He stumbled, not prepared for the lack of impact. I tried to kick out at his wrist, but it wasn’t good enough. My aim was off and it lacked power. I connected with his elbow but he barely flinched. He whirled, thrusting the knife again. This time I felt a sharp pain under my ribs. No, no, no. Not like this. I clutched my side, feeling liquid stream through my fingers. I wouldn’t look, I couldn’t. He expected me to go down, already smiling in triumph. In victory.
I pictured Izzy. Her smile. Her eyes. My sunshine. I demanded every last bit of strength to flow into my right arm and threw the hardest punch I possibly could. I felt bone crack under my knuckles, unsure if it was his cheek or my fingers. I heard the knife clatter to the floor. I fell to my knees, feeling my strength leave me again. Get up. Get up, Josh. I thought I could hear Izzy begging me to keep going.
“YOU’RE DEAD!” He growled, staggering towards me. He pushed me to my back, straddling me. His fingers wrapped around my neck. And he squeezed. And squeezed. I’m sorry Ryan, forgive me. The darkness was starting to take over and all I could do was stare at my brother’s bloody, still body on the floor. He hadn’t moved the entire time. We’ll be together soon, brother.
Chapter 35
Isabel
“Get out of the way, you moron!” Dad leaned on the horn, shouting more abuse at the elderly lady in the tiny hatchback as we overtook her on the wrong side of the road.
“There, there! It’s that road, Dad!” I pointed out West View and he swerved.
“STOP!” I shouted and Dad slammed on the brakes, the car screeching to a stop a couple of houses away from Josh’s.
“Stay here, Izzy!” Mum shouted as she and Dad unclipped their seat belts, throwing them off them and launching out of the car. Sod that. I needed to see him. I needed to see he was OK.
Chapter 36
Joshua
“NO!” Was that Georgie? My eyes fluttered, trying to see whose voice it was. Suddenly air started filling my lungs again and the weight on my chest lifted. I couldn’t move straight away. And my eyes wouldn’t open. But I felt someone shaking me.
“Joshy...please...stay awake…” It was Georgie. I willed my eyes to open, feeling a surge of relief when I saw my little brother kneeling next to me. I was vaguely aware of Big Mike lying face down behind him, blood pooling. I blinked, seeing blood on Georgie’s hands. I frowned, not understanding why he was holding the knife now. But wait, wasn’t that the knife over there on the floor by Big Mike?
“I�
��m sorry...I should have come out sooner...but...I was...scared…” he was sobbing, raw pain racking through his little body, causing him to gasp and tremble.
“You’ll be OK now.” Could he hear me? Was I even speaking aloud? I couldn’t save him. I’m sorry. But you’re safe now. Live. Live your life, Georgie. And look after Izzy for me, OK? I need you to be a big, strong boy and look after her for me.
“Josh? Josh! Wake up!” I should have done better. I should have tried harder. I failed you, Ryan. I am so sorry.
“Please… please...Joshy. Don’t go. Stay.” I don’t deserve to live. I failed. He was right all along. I am worthless.
I am unworthy.
Coming Soon
Part 2 of Josh and Izzy's story...
In the meantime, want to read more from your favourite characters?
Check out www.angelamackwriter.com for unseen chapters from Ryan's point of view and more.
About the Author
Angela Mack lives in Suffolk with her husband, a mini Batman-wannabe, a troll princess and two dogs. She likes to blast pop punk when writing, much to the disdain of her neighbours. She can't swear in front of her kids, but she sure makes up for it in her books. She never thought she'd have the courage to publish her innermost daydreams, yet here we are!
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Acknowledgements
A huge thank you to...
My husband, who has always encouraged me to follow my dreams, even if that meant sacrificing his own.
My mum, for reading the early draft of this book, brainstorming possible titles (even though I ignored your advice, sorry!) and for always believing I have what it takes to become a writer.
My best friend Nicola, for confessing that she cried whilst reading my draft for the first time - there's nothing a writer loves to hear more than that her characters created an emotional response in a reader!
You, the reader. I can't express my gratitude enough. I hope you love the story as much as I do.
You are all my everyday heroes.