Pelham — Complete
Page 4
CHAPTER IV.
Oh! la belle chose que la Poste!--Lettres de Sevigne.
Ay--but who is it?--As you Like it.
I had mentioned to my mother my intended visit to Garrett Park, and thesecond day after my arrival there came the following letter:--
"My dear Henry,
"I was very glad to hear you were rather better than you had been. Itrust you will take great care of yourself. I think flannel waistcoatsmight be advisable; and, by-the-by, they are very good for thecomplexion. Apropos of the complexion: I did not like that green coatyou wore when I last saw you--you look best in black--which is a greatcompliment, for people must be very distingue in appearance, in order todo so.
"You know, my dear, that those Garretts are in themselves any thing butunexceptionable; you will, therefore, take care not to be too intimate;it is, however, a very good house: all you meet there are worth knowing,for one thing or the other. Remember, Henry, that the acquaintance (notthe friends) of second or third-rate people are always sure to be good:they are not independent enough to receive whom they like--their wholerank is in their guests: you may be also sure that the menage will, inoutward appearance at least, be quite comme il faut, and for the samereason. Gain as much knowledge de l'art culinaire as you can: it isan accomplishment absolutely necessary. You may also pick up a littleacquaintance with metaphysics, if you have any opportunity; that sort ofthing is a good deal talked about just at present.
"I hear Lady Roseville is at Garrett Park. You must be particularlyattentive to her; you will probably now have an opportunity de fairevotre cour that may never again happen. In London, she is so muchsurrounded by all, that she is quite inaccessible to one; besides, thereyou will have so many rivals. Without flattery to you, I take it forgranted, that you are the best looking and most agreeable person atGarrett Park, and it will, therefore, be a most unpardonable fault ifyou do not make Lady Roseville of the same opinion. Nothing, my dearson, is like a liaison (quite innocent of course) with a woman ofcelebrity in the world. In marriage a man lowers a woman to his ownrank; in an affaire du coeur he raises himself to her's. I need not, Iam sure, after what I have said, press this point any further.
"Write to me and inform me of all your proceedings. If you mentionthe people who are at Garrett Park, I can tell you the proper line ofconduct to pursue with each.
"I am sure that I need not add that I have nothing but your real good atheart, and that I am your very affectionate mother,
"Frances Pelham.
"P.S. Never talk much to young men--remember that it is the women whomake a reputation in society."
"Well," said I, when I had read this letter, and adjusted my best curl,"my mother is very right, and so now for Lady Roseville."
I went down stairs to breakfast. Miss Trafford and Lady Nelthorpe werein the room talking with great interest, and, on Miss Trafford's part,with still greater vehemence.
"So handsome," said Lady Nelthorpe, as I approached.
"Are you talking of me?" said I.
"Oh, you vanity of vanities!" was the answer. "No, we were speaking of avery romantic adventure which has happened to Miss Trafford and myself,and disputing about the hero of it. Miss Trafford declares he isfrightful; I say that he is beautiful. Now, you know, Mr. Pelham, asto you--" "There can," interrupted I, "be but one opinion--but theadventure?"
"Is this!" cried Miss Trafford, in a great fright, lest Lady Nelthorpeshould, by speaking first, have the pleasure of the narration.--"We werewalking, two or three days ago, by the sea-side, picking up shells andtalking about the 'Corsair,' when a large fierce--"
"Man!" interrupted I.
"No, dog, (renewed Miss Trafford) flew suddenly out of a cave, undera rock, and began growling at dear Lady Nelthorpe and me, in the mostsavage manner imaginable. He would certainly have torn us to pieces if avery tall--" "Not so very tall either," said Lady Nelthorpe.
"Dear, how you interrupt one," said Miss Trafford, pettishly; "well, avery short man, then, wrapped up in a cloak--"
"In a great coat," drawled Lady Nelthorpe. Miss Trafford went on withoutnoticing the emendation,--"had not with incredible rapidity sprung downthe rock and--"
"Called him off," said Lady Nelthorpe.
"Yes, called him off," pursued Miss Trafford, looking round for thenecessary symptoms of our wonder at this very extraordinary incident.
"What is the most remarkable," said Lady Nelthorpe, "is, that though heseemed from his dress and appearance to be really a gentleman, he neverstayed to ask if we were alarmed or hurt--scarcely even looked at us--"("I don't wonder at that!" said Mr. Wormwood, who, with Lord Vincent,had just entered the room;)--"and vanished among the rocks as suddenlyas he had appeared."
"Oh, you've seen that fellow, have you?" said Lord Vincent: "so have I,and a devilish queer looking person he is,--
"'The balls of his broad eyes roll'd in his head, And glar'd betwixta yellow and a red; He looked a lion with a gloomy stare, And o'er hiseyebrows hung his matted hair.'
"Well remembered, and better applied--eh, Mr. Pelham!"
"Really," said I, "I am not able to judge of the application, since Ihave not seen the hero."
"Oh! it's admirable," said Miss Trafford, "just the description I shouldhave given of him in prose. But pray, where, when, and how did you seehim?"
"Your question is religiously mysterious, tria juncta in uno," repliedVincent; "but I will answer it with the simplicity of a Quaker. Theother evening I was coming home from one of Sir Lionel's preserves, andhad sent the keeper on before in order more undisturbedly to--"
"Con witticisms for dinner," said Wormwood.
"To make out the meaning of Mr. Wormwood's last work," continued LordVincent. "My shortest way lay through that churchyard about a milehence, which is such a lion in this ugly part of the country, because ithas three thistles and a tree. Just as I got there, I saw a man suddenlyrise from the earth, where he appeared to have been lying; he stoodstill for a moment, and then (evidently not perceiving me) raisedhis clasped hands to Heaven, and muttered some words I was not abledistinctly to hear. As I approached nearer to him which I did withno very pleasant sensations, a large black dog, which, till then, hadremained couchant, sprung towards me with a loud growl,
"'Sonat hic de nare canina Litera,'
as Persius has it. I was too terrified to move--
"'Obstupui--steteruntque comae--'
and I should most infallibly have been converted into dog's meat, if ourmutual acquaintance had not started from his reverie, called his dog bythe very appropriate name of Terror, and then slouching his hat over hisface, passed rapidly by me, dog and all. I did not recover the frightfor an hour and a quarter. I walked--ye gods, how I did walk--no wonder,by the by, that I mended my pace, for as Pliny says truly: 'Timor estemendator asperrimus.'"
Mr. Wormwood had been very impatient during this recital, preparing anattack upon Lord Vincent, when Mr. Davison entering suddenly, divertedthe assault.
"Good God!" said Wormwood, dropping his roll, "how very ill you lookto-day, Mr. Davison; face flushed--veins swelled--oh, those horridtruffles! Miss Trafford, I'll trouble you for the salt."