Pelham — Complete
Page 81
CHAPTER LXXXI.
Pectus praeceptis format amicis.--Horace.
Est quodam prodire tenus, si non datur ultra.--Horace.
With all my love of enterprise and adventure, I cannot say that Ishould have particularly chosen the project before me for my evening'samusement, had I been left solely to my own will; but Glanville'ssituation forbade me to think of self, and so far from shrinking at thedanger to which I was about to be exposed, I looked forward with theutmost impatience to the hour of rejoining Jonson.
There was yet a long time upon my hands before five o'clock; and thethought of Ellen left me in no doubt how it should be passed. I wentto Berkeley-square; Lady Glanville rose eagerly when I entered thedrawing-room.
"Have you seen Reginald?" said she, "or do you know where he has goneto?"
I answered, carelessly, that he had left town for a few days, and, Ibelieved, merely upon a vague excursion, for the benefit of the countryair.
"You reassure us," said Lady Glanville; "we have been quite alarmed bySeymour's manner. He appeared so confused when he told us Reginald lefttown, that I really thought some accident had happened to him."
I sate myself by Ellen, who appeared wholly occupied in the formationof a purse. While I was whispering into her ear words, which broughta thousand blushes to her cheek, Lady Glanville interrupted me, by anexclamation of "Have you seen the papers to-day, Mr. Pelham?" and on myreply in the negative, she pointed to an article in the Morning Herald,which she said had occupied their conjectures all the morning--it ranthus:--
"The evening before last, a person of rank and celebrity, was privatelycarried before the Magistrate at--. Since then, he has undergone anexamination, the nature of which, as well as the name of the individual,is as yet kept a profound secret."
I believe that I have so firm a command over my countenance, that Ishould not change tint nor muscle, to hear of the greatest calamitythat could happen to me. I did not therefore betray a single one ofthe emotions this paragraph excited within me, but appeared, on thecontrary, as much at a loss as Lady Glanville, and wondered and guessedwith her, till she remembered my present situation in the family, andleft me alone with Ellen.
Why should the tete-a-tete of lovers be so uninteresting to theworld--when there is scarcely a being in it who has not loved. Theexpressions of every other feeling comes home to us all--the expressionsof love weary and fatigue us. But the interview of that morning, was farfrom resembling those which the maxims of love at that early periodof its existence would assert. I could not give myself up to happinesswhich might so soon be disturbed, and though I veiled my anxiety andcoldness from Ellen, I felt it as a crime to indulge even the appearanceof transport, while Glanville lay alone, and in prison, with the chargesof murder yet uncontroverted, and the chances of its doom undiminshed.
The clock had struck four before I left Ellen's, and without returningto my hotel, I threw myself into a hackney coach, and drove toCharlotte-street. The worthy Job received me with his wonted dignity andease; his lodgings consisted of a first floor, furnished accordingto all the notions of Bloomsbury elegance--viz. new, glaring Brusselscarpeting; convex mirrors, with massy gilt frames, and eagles at thesummit; rosewood chairs, with chintz cushions; bright grates, witha flower-pot, cut out of yellow paper, in each; in short, all thatespecial neatness of upholstering paraphernalia, which Vincent usednot inaptly, to designate by the title of "the tea-chest taste." Jonsonseemed not a little proud of his apartments--accordingly, I complimentedhim upon their elegance.
"Under the rose be it spoken," said he, "the landlady, who is a widow,believes me to be an officer on half pay, and thinks I wish to marryher; poor woman, my black locks and green coat have a witchery thatsurprises even me: who would be a slovenly thief, when there are suchadvantages in being a smart one?"
"Right, Mr. Jonson!" said I; "but shall I own to you that I am surprisedthat a gentleman of your talents should stoop to the lower arts of theprofession. I always imagined that pickpocketing was a part of yourbusiness left only to the plebeian purloiner; now I know, to my cost,that you do not disdain that manual accomplishment."
"Your honour speaks like a judge," answered Job: "the fact is, thatI should despise what you rightly designate 'the lower arts of theprofession,' if I did not value myself upon giving them a charm, andinvesting them with a dignity never bestowed upon them before. To giveyou an idea of the superior dexterity with which I manage my slight ofhand, know, that four times I have been in that shop where you saw meborrow the diamond ring, which you now remark upon my little finger; andfour times have I brought back some token of my visitations; nay, theshopman is so far from suspecting me, that he has twice favoured me withthe piteous tale of the very losses I myself brought upon him; and Imake no doubt that I shall hear in a few days, the whole history ofthe departed diamond, now in my keeping, coupled with your honour'sappearance and custom. Allow that it would be a pity to suffer pride tostand in the way of the talents with which Providence has blest me; toscorn the little delicacies of art, which I execute so well, would, inmy opinion, be as absurd as for an epic poet to disdain the compositionof a perfect epigram, or a consummate musician, the melody of afaultless song."
"Bravo! Mr. Job," said I; "a truly great man, you see, can conferhonour upon trifles." More I might have said, but was stopt short bythe entrance of the landlady, who was a fine, fair, well dressed, comelywoman, of about thirty-nine years and eleven months; or, to speak lessprecisely, between thirty and forty. She came to announce that dinnerwas served below. We descended, and found a sumptuous repast of roastbeef and fish; this primary course was succeeded by that great daintywith common people--a duck and green peas.
"Upon my word, Mr. Jonson," said I, "you fare like a prince; your weeklyexpenditure must be pretty considerable for a single gentleman."
"I don't know," answered Jonson, with an air of lordly indifference--"Ihave never paid my good hostess any coin but compliments, and, in allprobability, never shall."
Was there ever a better illustration of Moore's admonition--
'O, ladies, beware of a gay young knight,
After dinner, we remounted to the apartments Job emphatically called hisown; and he then proceeded to initiate me in those phrases of thenoble language of "Flash," which might best serve my necessities on theapproaching occasion. The slang part of my Cambridge education had mademe acquainted with some little elementary knowledge, which renderedJonson's precepts less strange and abstruse. In this lecture, "sweet andholy," the hours passed away till it became time for me to dress. Mr.Jonson then took me into the penetralia of his bed-room. I stumbledagainst an enormous trunk. On hearing the involuntary anathema thisaccident conjured up to my lips, Jonson said--"Ah, Sir!--do oblige me bytrying to move that box."
I did so, but could not stir it an inch.
"Your honour never saw a jewel box so heavy before, I think," saidJonson, with a smile.
"A jewel box!" I repeated.
"Yes," returned Jonson--"a jewel box, for it is full of precious stones!When I go away--not a little in my good landlady's books--I shall desireher, very importantly, to take the greatest care of 'my box.' Egad! itwould be a treasure to MacAdam: he might pound its flinty contents intoa street."
With these words, Mr. Jonson unlocked a wardrobe in the room, andproduced a full suit of rusty black.
"There!" said he, with an air of satisfaction--"there! this will be yourfirst step to the pulpit."
I doffed my own attire, and with "some natural sighs," at the deformityof my approaching metamorphosis, I slowly inducted myself in theclerical garments: they were much too wide, and a little too short forme; but Jonson turned me round, as if I were his eldest son, breechedfor the first time--and declared, with an emphatical oath, that theclothes fitted me to a hair.
My host next opened a tin dressing box, of large dimensions, from whichhe took sundry powders, lotions, and paints. Nothing but my extremefriendship for Glanville could ever have supported me through theoperation I th
en underwent. My poor complexion, thought I, with tears inmy eyes, it is ruined for ever. To crown all--Jonson robbed me, by fourclips of his scissars, of the luxuriant locks which, from the pamperedindulgence so long accorded to them, might have rebelled against thenew dynasty, which Jonson now elected to the crown. This consisted ofa shaggy, but admirably made wig, of a sandy colour. When I was thuscompletely attired from head to foot, Job displayed me to myself beforea full length looking glass.
Had I gazed at the reflection for ever, I should not have recognizedeither my form or visage. I thought my soul had undergone a realtransmigration, and not carried to its new body a particle of theoriginal one. What appeared the most singular was, that I did not seemeven to myself at all a ridiculous or outre figure; so admirably hadthe skill of Mr. Jonson been employed. I overwhelmed him with encomiums,which he took au pied de la lettre. Never, indeed, was there a man sovain of being a rogue.
"But," said I, "why this disguise? Your friends will, probably, be wellversed enough in the mysteries of metamorphosis, to see even throughyour arts; and, as they have never beheld me before, it would verylittle matter if I went in propria persona."
"True," answered Job, "but you don't reflect that without disguise youmay hereafter be recognized; our friends walk in Bond-street, as well asyour honour; and, in that case, you might be shot without a second, asthe saying is."
"You have convinced me," said I; "and now, before we start, let me sayone word further respecting our object. I tell you, fairly, that I thinkDawson's written deposition but a secondary point; and, for this reason,should it not be supported by any circumstantial or local evidence,hereafter to be ascertained, it may be quite insufficient fully toacquit Glanville (in spite of all appearances), and criminate the realmurderers. If, therefore, it be possible to carry off Dawson, afterhaving secured his confession, we must. I think it right to insist moreparticularly on this point, as you appeared to me rather averse to itthis morning."
"I say ditto to your honour," returned Job; "and you may be sure that Ishall do all in my power to effect your object, not only from that loveof virtue which is implanted in my mind, when no stronger inducementleads me astray, but from the more worldly reminiscence, that theannuity we have agreed upon is only to be given in case of success--notmerely for well meaning attempts. To say that I have no objection to therelease of Dawson, would be to deceive your honour; I own that I have;and the objection is, first, my fear lest he should peach respectingother affairs besides the murder of Sir John Tyrrell; and, secondly,my scruples as to appearing to interfere with his escape. Both of thesechances expose me to great danger; however, one does not get threehundred a year for washing one's hands, and I must balance the one bythe other."
"You are a sensible man, Mr. Job," said I; "and I am sure you willrichly earn, and long enjoy your annuity."
As I said this, the watchman beneath our window, called "past eleven,"and Jonson, starting up, hastily changed his own gay gear for a moresimple dress, and throwing over all a Scotch plaid, gave me a similarone, in which I closely wrapped myself. We descended the stairs softly,and Jonson let us out into the street, by the "open sesame" of a key,which he retained about his person.