Pelham — Complete
Page 86
CHAPTER LXXXVI.
Now haveth good day, good men all, Haveth good day, young and old;Haveth good day, both great and small, And graunt merci a thousand fold!Gif ever I might full fain I wold, Don ought that were unto your leveChrist keep you out of cares cold, For now 'tis time to take my leave.--Old Song.
Several months have now elapsed since my marriage. I am living quietlyin the country, among my books, and looking forward with calmness,rather than impatience, to the time which shall again bring me beforethe world. Marriage with me is not that sepulchre of all human hope andenergy which it often is with others. I am not more partial to my armchair, nor more averse to shaving, than of yore. I do not bound myprospects to the dinner-hour, nor my projects to "migrations from theblue bed to the brown." Matrimony found me ambitious; it has not curedme of the passion: but it has concentrated what was scattered, anddetermined what was vague. If I am less anxious than formerly for thereputation to be acquired in society, I am more eager for honour in theworld; and instead of amusing my enemies, and the saloon, I trust yet tobe useful to my friends and to mankind.
Whether this is a hope, altogether vain and idle; whether I have, inthe self-conceit common to all men, peculiarly prominent in myself,overrated both the power and the integrity of my mind (for the oneis bootless without the other,) neither I nor the world can yettell. "Time," says one of the fathers, "is the only touchstone whichdistinguishes the prophet from the boaster."
Meanwhile, gentle reader, during the two years which I purpose devotingto solitude and study, I shall not be so occupied with my fields andfolios, as to render me uncourteous to thee. If ever thou hast known mein the city, I give thee a hearty invitation to come and visit me in thecountry. I promise thee, that my wines and viands shall not disgrace thecompanion of Guloseton: nor my conversation be much duller than my book.I will compliment thee on thy horses, thou shalt congratulate me upon mywife. Over old wine we will talk over new events; and if we flag at thelatter, why, we will make ourselves amends with the former. In short, ifthou art neither very silly nor very wise, it shall be thine own faultif we are not excellent friends.
I feel that it would be but poor courtesy in me, after having keptcompany with Lord Vincent, through the tedious journey of three volumes,to dismiss him now without one word of valediction. May he, in thepolitical course he has adopted, find all the admiration his talentsdeserve; and if ever we meet as foes, let our heaviest weapon be aquotation, and our bitterest vengeance a jest.
Lord Guloseton regularly corresponds with me, and his last lettercontained a promise to visit me in the course of the month, in orderto recover his appetite (which has been much relaxed of late) by thecountry air.
My uncle wrote to me, three weeks since, announcing the death of theinfant Lady Glenmorris had brought him. Sincerely do I wish that hisloss may be supplied. I have already sufficient fortune for my wants,and sufficient hope for my desires.
Thornton died as he had lived--the reprobate and the ruffian. "Pooh,"said he, in his quaint brutality, to the worthy clergyman, who attendedhis last moments with more zeal than success; "Pooh, what's thedifference between gospel and go--spell? we agree like a bell and itsclapper--you're prating while I'm hanging."
Dawson died in prison, penitent and in peace. Cowardice, which spoilsthe honest man, often ameliorates the knave.
From Lord Dawton I have received a letter, requesting me to accept aborough (in his gift), just vacated. It is a pity that generosity--sucha prodigal to those who do not want it--should often be such a niggardto those who do. I need not specify my answer. One may as well be freeas dependant, when one can afford it; and I hope yet to teach LordDawton, that to forgive the minister is not to forget the affront.Meanwhile, I am content to bury myself in my retreat with my muteteachers of logic and legislature, in order, hereafter, to justify hislordship's good opinion of my senatorial abilities. Farewell, Brutus, weshall meet at Philippi!
It is some months since Lady Roseville left England; the last news wereceived of her, informed us, that she was living at Sienna, in utterseclusion, and very infirm health.
"The day drags thro', though storms keep out the sun, And thus the heartwill break, yet brokenly live on."
Poor Lady Glanville! the mother of one so beautiful, so gifted, and solost. What can I say of her which "you, and you, and you--" all who areparents, cannot feel, a thousand times more acutely, in those recessesof the heart too deep for words or tears. There are yet many hours inwhich I find the sister of the departed in grief, that even her husbandcannot console; and I--I--my friend, my brother, have I forgotten theein death? I lay down the pen, I turn from my employment--thy dog is atmy feet, and looking at me, as if conscious of my thoughts, with an eyealmost as tearful as my own.
But it is not thus that I will part from my reader; our greeting was notin sorrow, neither shall be our adieus. For thee, who hast gone with methrough the motley course of my confessions, I would fain trust that Ihave sometimes hinted at thy instruction when only appearing to strivefor thy amusement. But on this I will not dwell; for the moral insistedupon often loses its effect, and all that I will venture to hope is,that I have opened to thee one true, and not utterly hacknied, pagein the various and mighty volume of mankind. In this busy and restlessworld I have not been a vague speculator, nor an idle actor. While allaround me were vigilant, I have not laid me down to sleep--even for theluxury of a poet's dream. Like the school boy, I have considered studyas study, but action as delight.
Nevertheless, whatever I have seen, or heard, or felt, has beentreasured in my memory, and brooded over by my thoughts. I now place theresult before you,
"Sicut meus est mos, Nescio quid meditans nugarum;--but not, perhaps,--totus in illis."
Whatever society--whether in a higher or lower grade--I have portrayed,my sketches have been taken rather as a witness than a copyist; for Ihave never shunned that circle, nor that individual, which presentedlife in a fresh view, or man in a new relation. It is right, however,that I should add, that as I have not wished to be an individualsatirist, rather than a general observer, I have occasionally, in thesubordinate characters (such as Russelton and Gordon), taken only theoutline from truth, and filled up the colours at my leisure and my will.
With regard to myself I have been more candid. I have not onlyshewn--non parca manu--my faults, but (grant that this is a much rarerexposure) my foibles; and, in my anxiety for your entertainment, I havenot grudged you the pleasure of a laugh--even at my own expense. Forgiveme, then, if I am not a fashionable hero--forgive me if I have not weptover a "blighted spirit," nor boasted of a "British heart;" and allowthat, a man, who, in these days of alternate Werters and Worthies, isneither the one nor the other, is, at least, a novelty in print, though,I fear, common enough in life.
And, now my kind reader, having remembered the proverb, and in sayingone word to thee, having said two for myself, I will no longer detainthee. Whatever thou mayest think of me and my thousand faults, both asan author, and a man, believe me it is with a sincere and affectionatewish for the accomplishment of my parting words, that I bidthee--FAREWELL!