Crisis of Faith by Benjamin Medrano (z-lib.org)

by Unknown

  “Pity them?” Nadis asked, shock rippling through her at the goddess’s words. “Why would you pity them?”

  Tyria paused for a long moment, studying Nadis with her lips pursed. Then she carefully walked over to the window beside Nadis, folding her arms behind herself, looking over the city as the sun’s light slowly faded.

  “Demons are mortal desires made manifest. What many call mortal sins, accentuated to the greatest extremes. When a mortal dies and goes to the lower planes, they are tormented for what seems like an eternity, either by individuals or the environment itself. That can happen in the blink of an eye from the point of view of this world, too. Slowly, that which is light is leeched away, leaving only the base desires aligned with the region they’re in… and they become demons,” Tyria explained softly, sighing heavily as she shook her head. “Even those that didn’t deserve to go there, but ended up there due to the actions of others, those who were sacrificed, misled, or even those who were branded in the war… all of them have that happen to them, Nadis. Some are changed more directly, such as what happened to Sistina when she was captured as an angel, but each demon once had the potential for great things. Each had the potential for the greatest heights of good… and they’ve lost that. Often forever.”

  “What? But—” Nadis began, then cut herself short as she shook her head, confused by what she was hearing. Many of the lessons she’d heard claimed that demons had always been there, and that they were the source of all ills, them and the dark gods themselves.

  Tyria smiled at Nadis gently, shaking her head as she spoke. “I don’t blame you for not knowing. Most of those who learn of this don’t like speaking of it. Neither do we gods, dark or light. Oh, some demons learn to rise above their natures, at least after a fashion, but it is rare. Most of them desire nothing more than to reduce all others to the same state. That is the darkness that I fear will eventually consume us all. If all demons were ever to band together against the gods… well, the results would be catastrophic. Yet I do pity them, and Wenris is one of those demons that I feel was close to rising above her nature, but the mantle she bears, that is dangerous. The Demon Queen of Chains… it’s a seductive, incredibly corrupting mantle. If Diane and all of you can change her… well, the world would change by that act. I cannot do it, though. Only mortals can.”

  “Only mortals? But… you’re here, and you’re far more powerful than we are,” Nadis said, yet at the same time her concerns were settling down. It was strange to be standing next to a goddess, speaking so easily, and yet… it also felt oddly right.

  “Ah, but we deities are not the ones who choose the path to the future. That is forbidden by divine law. It’s you mortals that make the choices that truly matter,” Tyria replied, reaching out to lay a hand on Nadis’s shoulder. “We can interact only when mortals make it possible. By faith, by prayer, or even by capturing us when we’re foolishly sleeping… mortals are the ones who allow us to help them. If you need my aid, it is up to you to call for it. I will do what I can.”

  “I…” Nadis paused, blinking and flushing a little at Tyria’s gentle touch, embarrassed by the show of affection. Tyria confused her so very often, and she looked out the window, clearing her throat before she continued. “I think I understand. I’ve often wondered why the gods didn’t intervene more, and that would explain it.”

  Tyria nodded, looking out the window beside Nadis, and neither of them spoke for a long minute, then two. Nadis wasn’t sure what to say or how to break the silence, especially since she didn’t know why Tyria was there.

  “I met Baldwin. His followers may have been behind the attack on Elissa, but they were not acting on his behalf, or the faith as a whole,” Tyria said at last, glancing at Nadis and giving a wry smile. “I also learned a fair bit more… but I’m not allowed to talk about it. Fate decided to put his foot down, so aside from when all of you call for divine aid, I’m not allowed to intervene. It’s a bit frustrating.”

  “What? Fate showed up?” Nadis exclaimed, almost yelping as her eyes went wide. “I… were you in our world? I thought the greater gods couldn’t come here!”

  “Yes, we were. As for the greater gods, well, Fate is a special case. He can go where he’s needed since he’s the one who enforces the agreements,” Tyria explained with a shrug and a smile. “Even so, the meeting was… illuminating. I was wondering about a few things, and now I have answers. How did your meeting go? Are you making progress with Elissa?”

  “I believe so. We’re currently feeling things out, but the church of Tyria will likely become a branch of the faith with her in charge of the Kelvanis region. We’re still working out a number of things, especially regarding finances and tithes, but I think we’ve come to at least tentative agreements,” Nadis admitted, growing nervous as she spoke, her mind drifting to one subject she’d been dreading bringing up. Still, there wasn’t a better time to bring it up than when her goddess was right there, so she took a deep breath and asked, “Would you be willing to become Medaea again?”

  “Of course,” Tyria replied instantly, glancing at Nadis as her eyes twinkled, sending a rush of pure relief through Nadis. The goddess continued warmly. “I’ve been expecting this, and I have been watching the negotiations from the shadows. As a matter of fact, I left my sword and armor with Baldwin, who offered to reforge them into something more practical again. Irethiel weakened them significantly, which is… annoying. I need to give Sistina a message, then see if she has any idea how to change me physically. While I am a goddess of many things, transformations aren’t one of them.”

  The sense of relief almost overwhelmed Nadis, growing even stronger as the goddess continued speaking. She hadn’t realized just how worried she was about how Tyria might react until that moment, but the knowledge she was willing to become something Nadis and the rest of her church would recognize as their goddess, though… that was a huge weight off her shoulders. Then what Tyria said fully registered, and Nadis paused, frowning.

  “Ah… not that I want to contradict you, My Lady… but if that’s the case, why did your blood change Diane and Jaine?” Nadis asked after a moment, a bit confused.

  “My blood didn’t change them. My blood was used as a source of power and as a divine blessing,” Tyria corrected, shaking her head. “Making a transmutation affect a creature permanently is difficult. Making it so that it’s their natural form is harder. Changing the body of a deity in the same way? That takes incredible skill with magical transformations and immense power as well. I might be able to power a spell to change myself, but the magical knowledge… that is beyond me. That’s why I need Sistina.”

  “Ah, well, I suppose that makes sense,” Nadis said, then paused and frowned. “Though that does make me wonder how they managed to change you to begin with.”

  “Lots of time, mana, and the use of demon blood on a variety of unfortunate mortals which they twisted into becoming demons,” Tyria replied, shrugging a little. “From what Elissa said, Ulvian’s original plan would have taken a few years to change me, but Zenith’s capture allowed him to work far more swiftly. In any case, I had best go see Sistina. I hope your night goes well, Nadis. Dream of dawn.”

  “Thank you, My Goddess,” Nadis replied, and watched as Tyria vanished briefly, then the glowing figure appeared outside, darting through the air toward the palace.

  As much as part of Nadis wanted to worry about Tyria going to Sistina for the chance to become Medaea again, she couldn’t really blame her. Short of going to another deity, Nadis couldn’t think of another who might fit the requirements Tyria had laid down, and she didn’t trust them any more than she trusted Sistina. Possibly less, in fact.

  “At least Medaea is coming back to us. We’ll lose some people, especially when Elissa and her people join us… but in the end, our goddess is returning, and we will be stronger for her presence,” Nadis murmured, bowing her head as she closed her eyes and prayed internally, feeling more at peace than she had in years.

  N
ow they just needed to finish the conference, and things would be much better.

  “…trying to determine how to control the mana. While you make it seem easy to craft golems, all of our attempts have led to them exploding,” Farris said, a hint of frustration on the woman’s stony face.

  Phynis rolled her eyes, a smile playing across her lips despite herself. Farris had once been one of her guards, right up until the healer had been murdered by Jared Falgrave. Sistina had been bonded to the woman’s soul, though, and a few months later she’d inserted Farris into her current body, a stone body made to look like an elven woman, and with several intricate carvings across her body and filled with gold, particularly around the glowing green emerald set in her collarbone, and with silver hair atop her head. The golem’s faceted green eyes glowed as well, and Farris had taken to wearing nice but durable clothing.

  “Practice,” Sistina replied calmly, taking a sip of soup carefully, then smiled at Farris. “Simple, not easy.”

  Farris glowered at Sistina, and around the table everyone else laughed, Opal the loudest of all. Phynis opened her mouth to speak, but Ruby beat her to it. “You really should know better than to expect Sistina to give you the answers, Farris. She wants you to figure it out by doing it, since that means you learned properly.”

  “Books explain how. Practice gives precision,” Sistina murmured, nodding at Opal as she smiled. “Am good. Others were better. Can be better. Practice, and surpass me.”

  “Ah, Sistina? I think that might be just a bit ambitious of you. We’re starting at a point so far behind where you are that it’s hard to fathom,” Phynis interjected, both amused and a little horrified by the thought that Sistina wanted them to be better than her. “You’ve been learning for thousands of years, and have more knowledge than most nations. I don’t know that it’s possible for us to catch up with you.”

  Sistina simply raised an eyebrow at Phynis skeptically, then spoke flawlessly. “Of course you can, if you put in the effort. I forgot a great deal, and I’m learning artificing, now. It did not exist when I was an angel or demon. You have all the tools you need to catch up with me. It’s up to you to put in the time and effort to do so.”

  Phynis couldn’t help a deep sigh, though she was amused despite herself. Sistina protected her and the others, gave them safety and love… but the dryad also was of the opinion that they needed challenges to grow. Once she’d heard Sistina mutter something about wondering how they’d deal with a polluted pond, but no one had understood what she’d meant.

  Just as Phynis was raising her glass to take a drink of wine, the wall shimmered and Tyria stepped through it, landing and folding her wings. Phynis blinked, unused to seeing the goddess without her armor, and she thought she saw a hint of anxiety in Tyria’s eyes. It was particularly a surprise since the goddess was interrupting their dinner, since she normally avoided that, even if Phynis had extended a standing invitation for Tyria to join them. She had to admit, though, she was always a little nervous around the goddess. She knew that Tyria was attracted to Sistina, after all, and the goddess’s beauty… well, it made her a touch insecure. This night it was just Phynis, Sistina, the Jewels, and Farris, though, so it was a fairly quiet night.

  Slowly the others fell silent as they caught sight of Tyria, and Phynis put down her glass, tilting her head as she spoke. “Lady Tyria! I didn’t expect you this evening, were you coming to join us?”

  “While I do appreciate your invitation, such would be inappropriate of me,” Tyria said, looking at Phynis with a slight smile. “No, I’ve come because I needed to speak to Sistina.”

  Sistina looked at the goddess and tilted her head, an eyebrow arching. “Baldwin?”

  “Yes, I met him. He asked me to meet him at the heart of the mountains, and it was… eventful. He’s not responsible for what’s going on, however,” Tyria replied, smiling nervously as she added, “I’d say more, but Fate was quite firm when he told us that we were supposed to leave mortal affairs to mortals.”

  Phynis opened her mouth at that, then shut it, swallowing uneasily as she digested what Tyria had said. The idea of Fate being involved almost gave her hives, after hearing a little about the deity from Desa. Her guard had encountered Fate while she was Emonael’s guest, and it hadn’t been something Desa had enjoyed. That incident indicated Fate had a short temper, which wasn’t something she wanted to hear about regarding a god who was in charge of people’s destinies.

  “Interesting,” Sistina murmured, sitting back in her chair thoughtfully as she ignored how the others were quietly talking among themselves, listening closely. “Why come here?”

  “Because I met someone in the process, someone I thought long dead,” Tyria said, pausing as she looked around the room at everyone, obviously thinking, then shrugged. “She said that she met you as Marin once. Do you remember the Eternal Empress?”

  Everyone fell silent, and Sistina’s eyes widened for an instant, betraying more shock than Phynis could remember seeing on her face. On the other hand, Phynis choked slightly, stunned.

  The Eternal Empress was a legend even in the chronicles of Old Everium. She was the ruler of the Eternal Wood, and Phynis had read many accounts of people who’d gone there to meet her, and they’d spoken of the immense power at the nymph’s command, as well as her wisdom and beauty. Among nobles, it’d been customary to make a pilgrimage into the Eternal Wood, and there was something about the descriptions that seemed slightly familiar to Phynis. Even so, they’d just been legends, and Phynis assumed that the fey monarch had died with her kingdom.

  “The Eternal Empress lives?” Sistina asked, carefully reaching out to pluck a grape from its vine, rolling the sphere between her fingers.

  “She does. She also asked me to give you her regards,” Tyria said, looking at Sistina closely. “Or, to be more accurate, to give Marin her regards. She was glad to hear you lived.”

  “How… how could she still live? The center of the mountains… no one has come back after going there!” Phynis protested, her voice trembling slightly.

  “No one but me, perhaps,” Tyria said, taking a breath, but Sistina spoke before she could keep going.

  “She is tied to the world tree. So long as it lives, it was said she would survive. I would not have thought she would be unkillable… but perhaps she was,” Sistina said slowly, her gaze oddly distant. “The tree could not have been fully dead. It is the source of mana, the heart of the ley lines. So it sustained her for all this time, all alone.”

  “That’s terrible!” Emerald said, her eyes widening as she shivered. “I… is she alright?”

  “I’m not sure that I could honestly say she’s alright, but she certainly isn’t injured,” Tyria replied, her expression growing slightly distant as she winced. “She is… surprisingly cognizant and focused after such a long time alone. I daresay she’s one of the few beings that I believe matches or exceeds Sistina’s magical knowledge.”

  “Makes sense. Lived before research finished,” Sistina said, and smiled in amusement as a chill ran down Phynis’s spine. “Maybe she’ll visit.”

  “Perhaps so,” Tyria said, shrugging as she continued. “However, there is another matter which I would like to consult you on.”

  “Oh?” Sistina asked, looking back at the goddess curiously.

  “Would it be possible to get your help with changing my appearance back to what it was as Medaea? Or at least most of the way back?” Tyria asked, “Permanently, of course, which I know is more difficult.”

  Sistina blinked a couple of times, then smiled and nodded. “Yes. Simple.”

  At that Tyria stopped and stared at Sistina, then asked incredulously, almost sounding a little outraged. “Simple? But… I’m a goddess! Permanently changing the fundamental nature of my appearance is—”

  “Simple,” Sistina interrupted calmly, to Phynis’s shocked amusement. “Takes mana, lots. Still simple. Just need appearance. Never met you before.”

  The near outrage on Tyria�
�s face was incredibly amusing, somehow, and despite herself Phynis couldn’t help the impulse to snicker under her breath. Her laugh seemed to break the ice, though, and the others around the table laughed softly as well, even as Tyria looked around for a moment, her expression turning more bemused than anything.

  “Farris, I think that it’s going to take you a lot of practice with the golems,” Sapphire said, smiling at the mage as she teased. “If Sistina thinks both changing Tyria’s appearance and making golems is simple, well…”

  “Is simple, though,” Sistina protested, looking around the room incredulously. “Precision, power, yes. Simple, but finicky. Has to be just right.”

  “If you say so, Sistina. I’ll look at the books again, promise,” Farris replied dryly, obviously giving up on getting more information out of Sistina.

  “I… suppose you could say that,” Tyria said, still looking a little put out as she folded her arms in front of her. “I guess I just need to try to remember what I looked like.”

  “Fortunately, while the orders I was given prevented me from speaking about your presence and what happened at the temple, My Lady, they did not include removing memories of what you looked like,” Diamond spoke up, reaching over to squeeze Phynis’s hand as she smiled. “I’m willing to project what I remember as an illusion, if you’d like. For good or ill, it mostly stuck in my memory.”

  Tyria blinked, then smiled as she nodded, sounding grateful. “That would be appreciated, Diamond. The problem for me is while I remember what I looked like somewhat, and would recognize myself… I wasn’t a goddess of beauty, and didn’t admire myself much. I was blonde, I know that much… and had blue eyes.”

  Phynis nodded slightly, looking at Diamond curiously. Her wife pursed her lips slightly, concentrating for a long moment, then raised her fingers to make short, precise gestures as she began speaking the words of a spell. It took longer than Phynis was used to for the priestess to finish the spell, though, about half a minute in total.