Liar

by K. L. Slater

  She stares back at me and our eyes lock in a brief silent battle.

  ‘Ready to leave now,’ the paramedic calls.

  I move towards the ambulance without looking at her again.

  ‘I’ll travel with him,’ I tell Ben firmly.

  ‘That’s fine, I’ll follow in the car,’ Ben says.

  I watch as he turns away from Amber. And I can’t help myself. I smile. At last, it feels like the tide is turning.

  61

  Amber

  Amber slammed her palm against the steering wheel of the car when the lights turned red.

  That bitch. That total and utter bitch. She had clearly enjoyed every second of Amber’s downfall in the eyes of her precious son.

  She wasn’t sure whether to be more furious with Judi or with herself for taking her eye off the ball so completely. She had been stupid, there was no other word for it.

  When she’d got the call from Wendy Ratner to say that a woman was down at the centre asking searching questions about her, Amber had panicked. She’d looked in on Noah and he’d been dead to the world. He’d been like it all morning; he’d never stirred once.

  In her haste, she hadn’t stopped to think that if she managed to get there in time to confront Judi, the first thing she’d do would be to question who was looking after her precious grandson back at the house. But of course the meddling cow had already left, and Amber had only stayed to chat briefly to Wendy.

  Without doubt, Amber had made a serious error that could compromise everything she had worked for so far. It was the kind of error she’d promised herself at the beginning she wouldn’t make. If Judi was curious about her work, what else might she be sticking her nose into?

  Trust the stupid kid to wake up and have some kind of seizure … with Judi ready and waiting to witness it all and exaggerate the drama in any way she could.

  It would almost serve them right if something did happen to Noah. Teach them a lesson. Not on Amber’s watch, of course. It would be so much better if Judi were somehow to blame for Noah coming a cropper.

  Both Ben and Judi treated Noah as if he were some kind of little prince, so delicate and needing to be wrapped in cotton wool. It was ridiculous.

  When Amber and her sister were kids, they were basically left to raise themselves. Their mother never cared if they were out late at night or if they had enough to eat – which most times they didn’t. She might be old and vulnerable now, but Amber often thought of her mother’s negligence when she visited Sunbeam Lodge. Kathryn had been her favourite, so Amber always suffered worse.

  She’d been all too aware that her mother wished it had been her that died that day and not Kathryn. The therapist had said that had served to compound all the negative feelings of guilt and sadness she had experienced after her sibling’s death.

  It sickened her to see how the Jukes family consistently indulged the two boys and expected everyone else to follow suit. Yes, they’d lost their mother, but plenty of people had to deal with life’s setbacks. Some kids had to deal with them alone.

  She refused to fall in line as far as that was concerned. Quite the opposite: once she and Ben were married, she intended to kick the little runts into line.

  After all, Noah and Joshua Jukes had had it far too soft for far too long.

  Life would be very different for them soon.

  62

  Judi

  When we get to the hospital and the ambulance doors open, I’m surprised to see that only Ben is there.

  ‘Where’s Amber?’ I ask, readying myself for a battle over who is going to accompany Noah inside.

  ‘She’s picking Josh up from school and waiting with him at home until we get back,’ Ben says, looking sheepish. ‘If we’d had more time I’d have made other arrangements. I realise it’s far from ideal that Amber is looking him after what just happened.’

  ‘Ben, you must keep Amber away from the boys, at least until we have time for a proper chat. There’s something—’

  ‘Mum, not here, please. Just let it go for now; we’ve got Noah to worry about.’

  ‘We’ve got Josh to worry about too,’ I snap. ‘Why don’t you go back and get him now? When you hear what I’ve got to tell you—’

  ‘Here’s Noah,’ Ben says, distracted.

  A hospital porter meets the paramedics at the door and we walk alongside Noah as he is wheeled through and into a private cubicle.

  I look down at him and feel like sobbing when I see his poor pale face. His big brown eyes are open but look unfocused and diluted somehow. I squeeze my own eyes closed and look away. It’s breaking my heart … why did it have to come to this?

  ‘I’m so sorry, Mum. I should’ve listened and let you look after Noah.’

  I nod. ‘I’m sorry too, Ben. I never wanted Noah to end up in this state. I’d have done anything to stop this happening.’

  ‘Amber’s not a bad person, you know,’ he continues. ‘It was a terrible oversight and I feel so angry with her for what she did, but just between you and me, she does care about the boys. I know what you think, but you should see how she looks out for them.’

  ‘Don’t make excuses for her, Ben.’ I glare at him. ‘She loves to tell us how she’s an expert when it comes to children, and then she does something as dangerous and wrong as this. It beggars belief.’

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ he replies, chastised. ‘It was stupid. I can’t believe she did it either. I don’t know what to do about it.’

  ‘You need to hear the full story,’ I say. ‘Before you decide what action to take.’

  He shoots me a sideways glance.

  ‘What Amber said about you going down to the children’s centre … Is that true?’

  ‘I did call at her alleged workplace,’ I say, making sure there’s no trace of regret in my voice.

  ‘You did? But why?’

  ‘Because I won’t just swallow her lies like you do. She doesn’t work there any more, and she never had an important role there like she tried to have us believe. According to the member of staff I spoke to, she was only one up from being a cleaner.’

  ‘Don’t be spiteful, Mum, it doesn’t suit you.’ Ben frowns. ‘Amber had already told me she’d left the job. She wanted to look after Noah and she’s looking for other opportunities; she’s capable of more.’

  My nostrils flare.

  ‘I’m telling you she has outright lied, Ben. She was just a temp, not a bloody lead worker or whatever fancy title it was she claimed she had. Did she tell you that too?’ I glance at little Noah, conscious that he might be taking in our conversation. ‘We’ll need to talk about this later; this is no place for us to be arguing. I’ll go with you to the children’s centre and you can hear it for yourself.’

  I shake my head in frustration when Ben looks away. She gets to him before me every single time. But I won’t let this drop. It’s important and it’s one of two lies I can prove; two lies she can’t wriggle out of.

  The curtain is pulled back and a short, slightly chubby man in a white coat appears. ‘I am Dr Kareem,’ he says, smiling at a listless Noah. ‘Now, what has been happening to this young man?’

  ‘Can you explain, please, Mum?’ Ben says, a worried look on his face. He’s leaving it up to me to reveal Amber’s neglect – or not.

  I briefly explain about the E. coli poisoning incident and how we expected Noah to recover without complications. ‘He was at home, asleep. When he woke up, he wanted a drink and I remember him saying his tummy hurt. Then he started shaking and his eyes went all unfocused, so I called the ambulance.’

  Dr Kareem nods and consults his clipboard. ‘You did the right thing, well done.’

  I smile gratefully at the doctor, basking in the glow of having done something to help Noah. Ben reaches over and touches my arm in gratitude, and it feels wonderful to have my son back on side again.

  ‘We are going to need a urine sample,’ Dr Kareem says. ‘Can you try and get young Noah to take some water?’ He nods to a glass
and water jug on the side and a small glass sample bottle next to it.

  I nod, and Dr Kareem disappears again, stating that he’ll be back later.

  ‘Thanks, Mum,’ Ben says awkwardly. ‘For not telling the doctor about what happened.’

  ‘I did it for you and Noah,’ I say shortly. ‘Social services would whisk both boys away in an instant if they found out what she did.’

  Ben swallows and draws back the curtain. ‘I’ll go and get us a couple of coffees from the café,’ he says meekly.

  I look down at Noah and smooth back the hair from his forehead, resting a warm, protective hand there.

  ‘Do you think you could drink some water for Nanny?’ I pour from the jug.

  Noah doesn’t say anything, but when I support the back of his head, he gulps thirstily from the glass I hold to his lips. He drinks half the water and I top the glass up again from the jug.

  Then I pick up the sample bottle and unscrew it. While Ben is busy getting our drinks, I make sure everything is ready.

  By the time Ben returns, Noah has used the thick cardboard bedpan provided and his urine sample is complete.

  It’s seven o’clock before we see the doctor again.

  ‘We have his results.’ He frowns. ‘It is confusing. We have found glucose in Noah’s urine, which can signify diabetes, among other conditions.’

  ‘Oh no,’ Ben groans. ‘Poor lad, don’t say he’s going to be like Dad.’

  ‘However,’ Dr Kareem continues, ‘to add to the confusion, his blood test has come back with normal levels; in other words, no high blood sugar. I am afraid we will need to do more tests.’

  ‘If Noah needs to remain in hospital, I can stay with him,’ I offer, glancing at Ben. He nods.

  ‘There should be no need for that,’ the doctor says. ‘Noah has now stabilised and thankfully there is no imminent danger, but of course you should bring him back in immediately if there are any more instances like what happened earlier today. In the meantime, we’ll make an appointment for the tests.’

  ‘So he can go home?’ Ben says hopefully.

  ‘Not just yet, I’m afraid.’ Dr Kareem hesitates and gives Ben a strange look. ‘Maybe in an hour or two; there are just one or two loose ends we are required to tie up first.’

  ‘I really think Noah needs to come home with me, Ben,’ I say when the doctor leaves us. ‘Not back to your house.’

  ‘Mum, I don’t know …’

  ‘What don’t you know?’ I pick my handbag up and let it drop on to the bottom of the bed again. ‘Are you going to take time off work to look after him?’

  ‘As much as I’d like to, I can’t,’ he replies grudgingly.

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘But Amber isn’t working at the moment and—’

  ‘Are you seriously telling me you’d leave him in her care again?’

  ‘No! Of course not, but … I worry about you coping, Mum. You seem really het up. I don’t like doing it, but I could always ring in sick myself.’

  ‘Is it any wonder I’m het up, after what she did? Noah is coming home with me and I’ll care for him until he’s better.’ I pause. ‘I only kept my mouth shut about Amber’s negligence because I assumed you’d let me have him.’

  ‘Mum, that’s not fair!’ Ben’s face reddens. ‘Are you going to hold that over my head every time I make a decision that you don’t like? I need to think about what to do. I don’t want to decide this second.’

  ‘Of course I’m not going to use it as a threat. Stop exaggerating,’ I reply. ‘Look, let’s just get Noah right again and let things settle down. You know he’ll be perfectly fine with his nanny.’

  ‘Mum,’ Ben sighs. ‘I hate what Amber did. I’m shocked and disappointed, just like you are. I’m going to have to have a serious talk about it with her, make sure it never happens again. But we are engaged and soon to be married … we’re a family now. We’ve got to work on our mistakes if we’re to make a real go of it.’

  I look at him.

  ‘Go home for a couple of hours, Mum. Just chill out a bit and rest.’

  ‘How can I chill out, not knowing how Noah is?’

  ‘He’s going to be fine. I’m not going anywhere. It makes no sense you sitting around for hours as well.’

  Our eyes meet and I know he wants some space, some time to think. I honestly feel like anything I tell him about Amber right now will just fall on deaf ears.

  I turn and pull the curtain back, walk out of the ward.

  I don’t think I’ve ever felt so unwanted, so alone.

  63

  Judi

  I get a cab back to Ben’s house so I can pick up my car. Amber’s Fiat isn’t there so I assume she’s on her way to pick up Josh. I force myself to go back to the car and drive away. I can’t confront her at school or in front of Josh. I must pick my moment.

  I find myself driving the long way home; towards the flats where I now know Fiona lives.

  I haven’t thought much about her and little Hank because of the chaos that’s ensued in my own life. Funny that. Fiona probably needs me more than anyone at the moment and I may well be the only positive influence in Hank’s life.

  My son has as good as sent me packing from the hospital and I can’t trust myself not to fly at Amber like a mad harridan if I set eyes on her right now, so there’s nothing I can do but sit it out for the time being.

  A numbing separation has crept in between myself and my son. An invisible wall of silence that has somehow sprung up that he seems not to want to acknowledge or talk about.

  They’d all have me believe it’s in my head, but I know better.

  Whatever cunning spell Amber Carr has cast on the male members of this family, thankfully I remain immune to it.

  There is something about this woman that makes me incredibly uneasy, a sort of ticking dread. I feel it in the prickle that hovers over my skin when she’s close by, the way I find myself worrying about her seemingly positive influence on Ben and the boys. And now the evidence I’m gathering seems to back up my concerns.

  As I drive towards the railway crossing and the flats come into view, it strikes me that I might as well do something useful with the day.

  I park across the road from the block and count up to the eighth floor. I’m not sure whether Fiona’s window faces the road side or overlooks the plethora of industrial units at the back. Neither view will be up to much.

  Faded England flags flutter from several balconies, while others are being utilised as temporary storage areas, stuffed with bicycles, toys and piles of unidentifiable scrap items.

  I grab my handbag and get out of the car, locking it before I cross the road and head for the entrance to the flats. Once inside, I immediately spot the Out of Order – Engineer Notified notices attached to both battered metal lift doors.

  I didn’t count them but there looked to be at least another six floors above Fiona’s level. I assume people of all ages live here; what would an elderly or less mobile person do when faced with these redundant lifts? The realities of struggling up all those stairs with shopping bags is a sobering thought that I doubt the lift repair company fully appreciates.

  I steel myself and begin to climb. I’m fine until floor two, and then the laboured breathing starts. I make it to floor three and stop to take a breather. I look out of the small, murky window at the busy road beyond.

  I can see my car from here, and the queue of traffic waiting at the crossing for a train to pass.

  I hear a door slam above and spin round at the sound of quick footsteps behind me. A little girl of around Josh’s age smiles at me as she skips easily down the stairs from the floor above.

  ‘Hello,’ I say, looking up above her and realising that she has no accompanying adult. ‘What’s your name?’

  ‘Lily.’ She beams and stops shyly on the bottom step.

  ‘And where’s your mummy, Lily?’

  ‘Home.’ She jabs her finger towards the flight of stairs behind her. ‘She’s busy feedi
ng our Ryan and I’ve got to get some bread from the shop.’

  She uncurls a sticky fist to reveal the single pound coin that nestles there.

  I know there is a Spar shop quite close, about a hundred metres from the entrance to the flats. Still, a hundred metres for an unaccompanied five-year-old is quite a distance, and certainly far enough for her to get lost … or worse.

  I wonder if I should offer to accompany her when a door flies open above us and a young woman of about Fiona’s age appears at the top of the stairs.

  ‘Lily! I thought I heard your voice. What the bloody hell are you playing at?’ She looks at me and frowns, self-consciously smoothing down her greasy topknot. ‘Who are you? Are you from social services?’

  ‘No, no,’ I reply quickly, smiling. ‘I’m visiting someone here. I was just passing the time of day with little Lily here.’

  She scowls at the girl. ‘What’ve I told you about speaking to folks you don’t know?’

  ‘Sorry, Mummy.’ Lily’s eyes widen as she looks up.

  ‘Well stop gassing and get going. I’ve got to stand up here at the window like a prat so I can watch you to the shop, remember?’

  Lily nods and smiles and continues her skip downstairs without looking at me again.

  ‘Sorry,’ I say to her mum as I start to climb the flight of stairs towards her. ‘I didn’t think. She’s a lovely little thing, isn’t she?’

  The woman glares at me and turns on her heel without answering. A few seconds later, the door to her flat slams shut.

  Another two rests and endless panting and finally I reach the eighth floor. The stairway is located up through the middle of the building, so there’s a choice of left or right, both leading to a corridor of identical doors with different numbers.

  I correctly choose left and walk past the decreasing numbers until I’m standing outside Flat 6. The door is patchily painted, blue over white, and is covered in scuff marks. I can clearly see the black outline of an entire sole of a shoe about a third of the way up.