“Call Mommy!” his tabloyd shouted.
“Gah!” Leo swatted the kiddie app away as the other four tabloyds chimed in unison.
“System schematic synced,” they simultaneously intoned.
“Wait, hold on,” Leo said. “My thing didn’t do the thing…”
He poked at his band. The cruise itinerary appeared, advancing through activities with each increasingly frantic swipe. Swooch gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Dude, you know you can sit this one out if you want.”
“Because I’m the captain?” Leo offered.
“Yeah, let’s go with that,” Quartermaster said.
Comfit nodded. “You can help by not helping.”
“Enough chatter,” Burlock barked. “Everyone split up and start scanning.”
The crew acknowledged the order with a sharp “Yes, sir” and started to step away.
“Wait!” Leo cried. “I give the orders around here!”
Comfit sighed. “And what are your orders, sir?”
Everyone looked to Leo, awaiting his command.
“Uh, right,” he muttered. “Everyone split up and start scanning.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, American!” Praz shouted.
The rest of the crew didn’t say it, but it was etched in their expressions as they went to work. For some it was defiant, for others pitying, but the sentiment was ubiquitous. Leo swatted the floating itinerary off his arm and held his chin high as he marched through the broken-off door into the dynamo chamber. He needed to put some space between himself and his crew. Partially because he was angry at them, but mostly so they wouldn’t see his imminent emotional collapse and ugly cry.
His boots clanged against the metal steps as he raced up a spiral staircase and onto a high catwalk. The magnetosphere dynamo screamed its ghostly wail below as it spun at preposterous speeds, lashed by enormous pylons of pure energy. It was like a force of nature created by mortal hands, but Leo was too overwhelmed by his own drama to be impressed. He leaned on the rail, gazing into the sphere as Madame Skardon’s words echoed in his mind.
“It’s sink or swim time, bucko.”
Leo didn’t know how to swim. He didn’t know how to do anything. He was in over his head and everyone knew it. But he couldn’t give up. He also couldn’t fix an engine. But he had to do something.
He trudged down the catwalk, eyeing a dizzying array of plumbing and wiring, dotted with gauges and meters and little sparking things and windows into chambers of percolating goo in various colors. He had no idea what any of it did. How was he supposed to know if it was broken? Everything seemed to be in place and—
His toe cracked against something hard, drawing a pained hiss from his throat. He staggered back and looked down to see a waist-high metal cylinder standing on its rounded edge, blocking the catwalk. A pulsing yellow light glowed from rings etched around its circumference.
“Hmm. Weird.”
He crouched to get a better look. A circular hatch in the disc’s side was open with a thick mass of cables pulled taut from its innards and clamped to a power junction on the wall. A small readout on top of the cylinder flashed a repeating error.
Surge detected. Core corrupted. 15% efficiency.
Leo’s first instinct was to call the others. There’s no way Praz would know what to do, but maybe one of the bridge crew could deal with this. But as soon as he had the thought he shoved it aside. The blinking message was crystal clear, even to him. Whatever this was it had something to do with power. And it was broken.
And he found it.
A manic giggle of joy and relief escaped his lips. He found it! He found the problem with the engines! All by himself! It was sink or swim time, and he was Michael hucking Phelps.
Leo was aglow with self-confidence as he grasped the release latch on the wiring clamp and immediately lurched back with a hiss and a whiff of singed meat.
“Hot!” he gasped, shaking his scorched fingers. “Hot hot!”
He took off his captain’s cap and put it over his hand, then gave the release a sharp poke with his shielded digits. The heat seared the white fabric, but the latch popped open and the wiring harness retracted into the cylinder like the end of a tape measure snapping into place. In the same instant, its illuminated rings went dark and the rest of the lights in the dynamo chamber brightened. Before Leo’s eyes had adjusted to the change, the force of the retracting cables sent the disc rolling toward the edge of the catwalk.
“Ack! Stop!” He made a grab for it, slapping a hand on both flat sides as it rolled under the railing and teetered over the edge. Pain sizzled through his palms. “Ow! Right! Hot!”
Reflex yanked back his arms, and the cylinder plunged from the catwalk into the roiling ball of the magnetosphere dynamo below. Leo watched it splash down in the superheated plasma shell with a heavy ripple.
“Well, that could have gone better.”
Everything in his body tightened as he pulled a breath and waited for the inevitable explosion, implosion, meltdown, or whatever lethal reaction was about to transpire. But the magnetosphere core swallowed the object without so much as a sizzle or jet of black smoke. It was just gone.
“Oh my gosh!” a female voice gasped. “What did you do?”
Leo whirled around to see Comfit approaching from one side of the catwalk with Quartermaster right behind her. He tried to back away, but Burlock and Swooch rushed up from the other side.
“I, uh… okay, listen,” Leo stammered. “I can explain…”
“I can’t believe this.” Comfit tapped at her unfolded tabloyd, her mouth hanging open. “The glitch is gone!”
“Look, I didn’t mean… come again?”
“I was just trying to brute-force a system sweep and suddenly everything came online at once. Full power to the engines and all systems. As soon as internal monitoring was up I could isolate the problem to this sector, but only the residual traces of it.”
Quartermaster checked the schematics on his device. “I can confirm that. The abnormal power drain was coming from this junction, but now it appears to be working perfectly normally.”
Swooch smiled and slouched against the rail. “Daaang, Captain Fix-it. The rest of us were just derping around and you just went right at it. How did you know to come up here?”
Leo blinked. “Oh, uh. You know…” I ran away from you guys before I could have a breakdown. “Just instinct, I guess.”
“It looks like there was a malfunction in the main cross-lateral power junction.” Quartermaster’s mouth stalks wheezed in disbelief. “These components are so complex, it would have taken me a month to isolate the problem, let alone troubleshoot it.” He turned to Leo. “Seriously, how did you do this?”
I have absolutely no idea, Leo thought.
“I just tried some… normal techie stuff. No big deal.”
“It is, actually,” Quartermaster said. “There’s enough voltage here to spontaneously ignite organic material if handled improperly.”
“Really?” Leo fingered the scorch mark on his hat. “I mean, yes. I knew that. Of course I knew that.” He noticed skepticism creeping into the Screetoro’s three eyes and forced himself to stand tall. “But, uh… I’m willing to take personal risks for the good of my ship and her crew.”
Comfit’s expression went soft. Her voice was an awestruck whisper. “So brave!”
Leo puffed out his chest. “I guess it was, wasn’t it?”
Burlock just stood there, glaring, arms crossed and mechanical eye twitching. “Well the important thing is that it’s fixed. I’ll report in to Admiral Skardon.”
“Yes, you do that.” A broad smile spread on Leo’s face. “And be sure to mention exactly who fixed it, and how quickly and expertly the job was done.”
Burlock’s teeth ground. “My report will state the facts accurately, sir.”
“Well, that’s just five gallons of awesomesauce.” Leo put on his burned captain’s hat
and swaggered in a slow circle, orbiting his first officer. “I guess now you can see that I’m pretty valuable around here, am I right?”
“I have to admit, I’m impressed,” Quartermaster said.
“More than impressed, honestly,” Comfit added breathily.
“You’re the shizzle with the technizzle,” Swooch drawled.
Leo turned to Burlock. Burlock said nothing.
“I’m sorry, do you have anything to add?” Leo asked.
Tensed servos whined in Burlock’s arm as his whole body trembled. “I do not.”
Leo smiled and waved him off. “Okay then, you’re dismissed. I’ll see you up on the bridge. Don’t keep my seat warm.”
Burlock stomped off, his face boiling a murderous red, followed by the rest of the crew. Leo leaned on the rail, smiling ear to ear and basking in the glow of his accidental triumph. But despite the swell of victory, he couldn’t help but wonder exactly what that thing was that he had disconnected and subsequently destroyed. He looked over the railing at the thrashing plasma storm of the magnetosphere dynamo.
Eh, it was probably nothing.
Chapter Eleven
Kellybean stood alone in the shade of the private WTF cabana overlooking the clear water of the Haliiloa Sea. She’d finished ushering her excursion group through their tour of historic Port Ardoba, herded them onto the hovercoach, and set them loose on the beach. In two hours she’d load them back onto the coach, feed them their box lunches, and escort their happy, sun-weary bodies back to the ship. In the meantime, all she had to do was breathe the fresh, seaside air and relax.
She leaned on the rail and gazed over the black dunes nestled in the cone of the extinct volcano. Her family of Krubb tourists played in the crystalline surf, scuttling like trash-can-shaped crabs on their tiny legs. A Screetoro couple on their honeymoon rubbed sunblock on each other’s mouth-stalks for significantly longer than necessary. But she barely registered them. They were all harmless.
She was keeping an eye on the troublemakers.
Jassi, Stobber, and Hax had found a set of broad paddles and were batting a ball back and forth. Stobber lobbed it to Hax. Hax volleyed it to Jassi. Jassi hit it as hard as she could into Stobber’s face. He shouted and cursed at her before picking up the ball and passing it back to Hax. Hax paddled it to Jassi. Jassi spiked it into Stobber’s face again. He roared and charged her like an enraged rhino. She raised her paddle in both hands, ready for a brawl. Hax rushed between them, arms out, always the peacekeeper.
Kellybean rolled her eyes. At least if they were fighting each other they weren’t bothering anyone else. She still couldn’t believe someone on her staff had actually hired Murderblossom to perform on this cruise. Hopefully their music was better than their interpersonal skills. That girl Jassi was the rudest, most disrespectful plant she’d ever met. Why were the hot ones always such a-holes? She shook her head. It didn’t matter, she had a job to do, and she wasn’t going to be distracted by—
“This is an outrage!” a brittle voice roared. “I paid good money for this trip!”
Kellybean recognized both the voice and the complaint. Not far from her cabana, Horman Gwapwaffle stood on a floating dock next to a small passenger boat, jabbing his finger at a muscled Halii man below, wading waist-deep in the shallows. Clermytha was by her husband’s side, arms crossed and shaking her head, tag-teaming his gripes. Kellybean sighed and muttered to herself. “Time to get back on the clock.”
She hurried down to the waterfront to find a collection of rusty tools spread on the dock. The Halii had the boat’s engine compartment open and was pointing into it, trying to explain something to the Geiko in his native language.
“Hello, friends,” Kellybean said calmly. “Is everything all right over here?”
“Hardly!” Horman snapped. “This con man won’t take us on our sightseeing cruise. We bought tickets! I have them right here!”
He swiped his tabloyd, producing a WTF excursion ticket for a private sea cruise. The most expensive add-on available for this port, paid for entirely in frequent cruiser points. Kellybean turned to the local in the water. “What seems to be the trouble, sir?”
“Habbo shinda molt bolt,” he replied.
Kellybean cringed and said the only phrase she knew in Halii. “Zimba nok Quipp?”
The man gave a hesitant nod and pointed at the engine. “Um… Boat not. Go. Engine is…” He scratched his head with a tarnished wrench, searching for the foreign word. “Hucked.”
Kellybean nodded. “I see.” She turned to the two Geiko. “I’m sorry, folks. It looks like our tour partner here is having some technical difficulties. But don’t worry. I’ll give you a full refund, plus additional WTF travel vouchers for your inconvenience.”
“I don’t want vouchers!” Clermytha howled. “I want to go on a sightseeing cruise!”
“What kind of a shoddy operation are you running here, missy?” Horman turned on Kellybean, wielding his complaining finger. “I’m reporting you to the management! Unlike Gellicles, the Ba’lux care about customer service!”
Kellybean’s ears flicked back, hot with rage. Her smile wavered at the edges into a toothy sneer. “Again, I do apologize, and I’ll be happy to do whatever it takes to make you—”
“Gah damn, are these two motherhuckers up your arze again? Give it a rest, ya wrinkly prune munchers.”
Kellybean gasped. The Gwapwaffles gasped. The Halii blinked, unfamiliar with most of the words. Everyone looked over Kellybean’s shoulder at a Verdaphyte girl, slouching with her hands on her hips.
Clermytha’s jaw trembled with outrage. “How dare you speak to us that way, you… bark-skinned trollop!”
Horman hitched up his pants and fumed. “I’ve got half a mind to take a belt to you, girly!”
Jassi snorted and cracked her knuckles. “Try it and see how that works out for you, gramps.”
Kellybean sprang between them and hissed at Jassi. “Get out of here! I’ve got this under control!”
“Do you?” Jassi asked. “It looks like you need some backup.”
“I do not,” Kellybean said firmly. “I was just going to give the Gwapwaffles a refund, plus travel vouchers, and also a free VIP dinner in the ship’s most exclusive restaurant. Doesn’t that sound great?”
“Bah!” Horman growled. “We want our gall dang boat tour!”
The Halii nodded. “Yes. Boat is hucked.”
Kellybean winced. “So you’ve said.” She turned to the couple with a tense smile. “I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do here. The boat is having mechanical trouble.”
Jassi snorted a chuckle. “Wait, is that what all this bishing and moaning is about? Pfft. Step aside, moth balls.”
She shoved her way past the tourists and stepped off the edge of the dock, plunging into the sea, boots and all. Water glistened off the arch of her lithe, verdant body as she surfaced and flicked her wet pink scalp leaves back over her head. The heat of Kellybean’s frustration spiraled with the heat of her libido in a way that only made her angrier.
Gah damn this rude, stupidly hot girl!
Jassi waded to the boat and scratched at her exposed belly. “Lemme take a look at this.” The Halii moved aside as she peered at the engine. “Well, shix. There’s your problem right there. The torsional pivot spring is locked up.”
Kellybean blinked. “You know how to fix boats?”
Jassi shrugged and grabbed a huge pipe wrench from the dock. “I spent my seedling years in a spaceport repair shop. Machines are all basically the same when you get down to it.” She slotted the long wrench into the engine, wrapped both hands around it, and pulled. Supple, vine-like muscles flexed down her lean arms and through her exposed torso. Kellybean’s whiskers twitched hungrily. With a creaking of rusted metal on metal, the wrench moved. Belts jerked. Pistons trembled. Then, all at once, the engine roared to life. Jassi yanked the enormous wrench free and tipped it over her shoulder as the aquajets ch
urned the water to foam around her sodden skirt.
“You fixed it!” Kellybean gasped. “That’s amazing!”
Jassi shrugged. “Meh.”
The Halii smiled and closed the compartment. “Thanks you for removing huck from engine.” He climbed onto the dock and grinned at the two Geiko. “Tour is ready for much boat fun!”
“Well, it’s about time.” Horman adjusted his fishing hat. “You see? The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”
Clermytha turned to Kellybean. “I trust our inconvenience still entitles us to all the perks you’ve promised.”
“Yes, of course,” Kellybean said wearily. “As always, your satisfaction is my number one priority.”
The old woman patted Kellybean’s arm. “That’s a good kitty. Maybe I won’t report you to the Ba’lux after all.”
With that, the Halii guide escorted the Gwapwaffles onto his boat and puttered away from the dock. Jassi hauled herself out of the water and shook herself off. Kellybean averted her eyes and bit her lip. “Hey, thanks a lot. I really appreciate the help.”
Jassi swept her wet leaves off her face. “Good. Because I was trying to make you all appreciative and indebted to me.” She grinned and thumbed toward the boardwalk bars. “What do you say we go grab a drink and talk about how you can express your gratitude.”
Kellybean smirked and shook her head. “I don’t drink on duty. Also, I’m not allowed to fraternize with the guests.”
“I’m not a guest,” Jassi noted. “I’m an entertainer. Totally different.”
It was a gray area, Kellybean couldn’t deny that.
Jassi slapped her own wet backside. “And you know you want to knock a few leaves offa this.”
Kellybean couldn’t deny that either. But she was here for a reason. She couldn’t let Admiral Skardon down. “I’m senior hospitality staff. You’re technically my subordinate. It would be inappropriate.” She straightened her back and smoothed out her uniform polo. “So, thanks again for fixing the boat, but I’ve got to get back to work.”
Galaxy Cruise: The Maiden Voyage Page 13
