Careless Wishes

by Amy Sumida

  “You cried when you left each of them for the first time,” he reminded me. “I know because I held you during one such episode and you told me.”

  “Then you should know how much this is going to hurt. It's starting already but right now, you think you can deal with it. It's just a little anxiety. No problem. You're a big, strong dragon; you can take it. But as our carriage rolls away from the castle, it's going to sink in: you're leaving her. No one can protect your daughter like you can. What if she flies down the stairs again, smacks a wing, and you're not there to kiss her boo-boo? What if she has a nightmare? Or, in Shahzy's case, what if she has a temper tantrum? Who will calm her or comfort her? Who will remind her to put away her claws or her wings? Only you know what she's going through as a young Dragon-Djinn. That's what you'll think and all of those thoughts will only get worse the further away you go.”

  “Fucking Fairies, Seren!” Raza snarled. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

  I laughed and lifted a hand to his cheek. “No. It's supposed to prepare you. Hopefully, you won't be hit as hard if you know what's coming.”

  Raza let out a long breath. “Shahzy's perfectly safe here. We've stayed here before and Keir has proved to me that both his defenses and intelligence are worthy of caring for our daughter.”

  “I'm glad you think so. And I'll be there with you if you need to cry.”

  “Dragons don't cry,” Raza declared.

  “You cried at her birth,” I reminded him.

  “I had something in my eye.”

  “Yeah. Tears. Don't try to front, Dragon. I was there. I saw you and I heard you thanking Danu over and over when you should have been thanking me for pushing a baby with wings out of my body while you just got to stand there and watch. Do you know how much those wings hurt?”

  Raza grimaced. “Will you never cease about the wings? You had Fey healers there; if you felt pain, it was briefly.”

  “Oh, I felt pain and I'm holding that over your head forever.” I laughed boisterously at his beleaguered expression, then kissed his cheek. “Come on, Dragon, you'll be all right.” I pulled him back into the castle. “The first time is always the hardest. It will get easier.”

  “The first time?” Raza growled in horror. “That implies that there will be more!”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Because there were so many knights in our Royal Guards, we decided to only bring two apiece. The number was decided upon since Daxon had brought two of his Elite with him: Rodaidh and Sanna. He'd left Desmond in charge of things in his absence. Dax, like Tiernan and Raza, had no problem with choosing the knights who'd be accompanying him. I, however, had to be careful; my Guard was like family to me and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So, they drew lots. Conri and Torquil won. I swear, it was as if Danu was trying to teach me a lesson for leaving it up to chance. I love both men, but they are not the best of friends. In fact, Conri—one of my most casual guards and the first non-Sidhe to be knighted in any kingdom—took great pleasure in messing with Torquil—my most uptight and traditional knight. I offered Conri an out since it would mean leaving Gradh behind, but he refused.

  “We're all leaving something behind, Princess,” Con said gruffly. “I'll be fine.”

  So, we made our goodbyes and headed away from Twilight Castle in a train of carriages. All of our Guards came along with us. Those who hadn't been chosen to accompany us to HR would make camp at the realm rath and wait for our return with the horses and carriages. The carriages could pass through the planetary raths, which had been built large enough for that very reason, but the raths to Earth were much smaller in order to prevent humans from bringing armies through if a rath happened to fall into human hands. In other words, we'd have to walk the rath to Earth.

  The three Kingdoms of Fairy divide the planet into slices; Seelie and Unseelie have the outer cuts while Twilight has the strip between them. As I mentioned earlier, the rath that we needed, the one that led to India, was on the other side of the planet, directly across from where Twilight Castle stood. That turned out to be a good thing. A pair of Twilight raths had been set up to bridge the distance from one side of our world to the other and, of course, that rath had been placed near the castle for the King's benefit. After only an hour of riding, we reached that planetary rath. Once through, it was only a short distance to the realm rath we needed.

  The carriages slowed as we approached a large, rounded hill covered in a sparse grove of trees. A tunnel, guarded by a golden gate, waited in the base of the hill. I couldn't see it as we approached—what with sitting between Tiernan and Daxon (window seats are a minor sacrifice for having multiple husbands)—but I knew what it would look like: golden bars curling into swirling designs and set with a shield at their center. The shield would have a silver star upon it, hanging over a silver castle and forest—the symbol for Twilight, as far as raths go. It was meant to be a sign, indicating where the rath led. In this case, it led to another location in Twilight. Unfortunately, the planetary rath signs weren't as specific as those on the raths leading to Earth (although, those aren't all that specific either). The sign only told us we'd come out in Twilight, not where in Twilight. You have to figure that part out for yourself.

  The afternoon light darkened as we entered the rath and then disappeared completely. The horses never faltered; they'd passed through raths often enough to not be startled by the vast emptiness that laid to either side of the path and they were actually Twilight Pukas in horse form so it took a lot to scare them anyway. We came out of the darkness into more darkness. Afternoon on one side of the planet meant late night on the other. We could have waited to leave the castle and worked it so that we arrived during the day, but the Fairy Council had asked Killian to get to the Nagas as soon as possible. Plus, by the time we made it to the realm rath, it would be early morning in India—a better time to arrive than late at night.

  “The Beast Brothers ride again!” Killian declared as he laid an arm around Raza's shoulder.

  His declaration was sudden and in the quiet of the new night, also startling. But I knew why Kill had done it; Raza was starting to look upset. All of those doubts about our daughter were likely circling through that dragon mind.

  Because of Raza's mass, he only had to share his bench with Killian but he instantly looked as if he would have preferred to be squished between Tiernan and Daxon. Raza grimaced and dislodged Killian's arm by taking his wrist between his claws and lifting it as if it were covered in slime. He then released the arm onto Kill's lap with a look of distaste.

  With a condescending tone, Raza declared, “It's bad enough that I must sit beside you instead of Seren. Please do not make it worse with your foolish efforts at camaraderie.”

  Killian chuckled, not at all offended. It had nothing to do with being a Nathair-Sith either; he's always had tough skin. It comes with being a soldier. “Hey, it's not my fault that we're more muscly than Dax and T-Dog.”

  “What did you just call me?” Tiernan cocked his head and narrowed his eyes at Kill.

  “I thought that sounded kinda gansta. You don't like it?” Kill asked innocently. “How about T-shirt?”

  I burst out laughing when Tiernan glared harder.

  “T-time?” Killian went on. “T-light? T-rannosaurus Rex?”

  Even Raza snickered at the last one.

  “You know, that sorta works,” I said to Tiernan. “Cause rex means king.”

  “Seren, I beg of you, do not encourage him,” Tiernan implored.

  “Come on, guys,” Killian cajoled. “Can't we enjoy this just a little? How long has it been since any of you have seen any action outside the bedroom? Huh? When's the last time you had to gather your forces and defend your kingdom?” He glanced at Daxon's smug face, then amended it, “How long has it been for the Kings of Unseelie and Seelie?”

  Tiernan and Raza exchanged a look with twitching lips.

  “All the drama is on Earth now,” Kill went on. “And as much as I hate be
ing away from my family, I gotta tell ya' that it's... well, fun. I get to chase bad guys and investigate shit. And it feels good to make a difference. I know you guys have kingdom stuff to deal with but do you ever get to lay the smackdown on a bad fairy?”

  Raza chuckled. “My people know better; those who aren't afraid of me are afraid of Danu. She will smack them harder than I ever could.”

  Tiernan nodded in agreement.

  “There you go.” Kill waved his hand at them. “Here's your chance to flex your muscles a bit and blow off some magical steam. Trust me, this is going to be awesome. We've got the band back together!” Killian grinned broadly enough to show the tips of his fangs.

  “I might be inclined to believe you if you weren't flashing fang and staring at me with those reptilian eyes,” Tiernan muttered.

  “There's nothing untrustworthy about slit pupils,” Raza argued.

  “Great, now you're defending Killian.” Tiernan rolled his silver eyes. “That makes me even less confident in this mission.”

  “Oh, this is going to be fucking fantastic,” Daxon drawled sarcastically as he leaned back against the padded bench and stretched his legs out.

  I started to pray.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Twilight arrived as we were setting up camp. Those of us who were Twilight Fey—my Star's Guard, Killian, and I—stopped what we were doing and breathed deeply, closing our eyes to enjoy the rush of magic. The others watched us a bit enviously, but Tiernan—who had known to prepare for it—took me into his arms to enjoy it with me. As twilight sparkled through me, his mouth covered mine in a magical kiss. It was one of Tiernan's favorite things to do with me. Not the top, mind you, but it was up there.

  “You ever try that with her?” Daxon asked Raza conversationally.

  “Yes,” was the clipped reply.

  Daxon chuckled. “It's better done in private, isn't it?”

  Raza's frown cracked and he offered Dax a grin. “Indeed.”

  “Perverts,” Killian shot at them after he'd finished enjoying his own rush. Then he leaned toward them to add, “But it's even better when you're both Twilight.”

  Daxon and Raza grimaced at Kill identically.

  “Do we have time for some dinner?” I asked Killian.

  He looked at his watch, which he'd set to India time, and nodded. “Yeah, we're good. Let's eat!”

  A perimeter of tents had been erected in a semicircle before the rath door, our horses had shifted to their canine forms and roamed the camp freely. They'd provide another level of protection. Generally, there was nothing for us to fear in the Twilight Forests but Fey animals can get frisky and it's always best to be prepared. Upon Killian's command, a few knights started unpacking crates of supplies while others gathered wood and water. Soon, several campfires were burning and stew bubbling away in pots atop them. Jugs of Fey wine were passed out, and we gathered in groups around the fires, upon blankets and crates, to drink while we waited for the food. The Pukas had already been fed—Fairies know to take care of their animals first—but they perked up at the scent of more food and settled amid the knights hopefully.

  I stared at the rath door. A door, not a gate; that alone was enough to tell me that this rath led to Earth, but the silver design of an Earth engraved into the golden door was a little more specific. India was front and center on the globe. Of course, it didn't show exactly where in India the rath led. As I mentioned before, the exact destination is something assumed to be known.

  “Yeah, so what? You're like a human magician. You gonna pull a rabbit out of your ass next?” Conri's voice carried over to us.

  The Puka near my feet, who I'd been absently petting, lifted his head to stare at the commotion. I groaned and followed the Puka's gaze just in time to see Rodaidh's dark eyes flash with magic and murder.

  “Why don't you pull your head out of your ass?” Rodaidh suggested. “Maybe then you'd be able to see how powerful and beneficial my magic is. More so than turning into a horned mutt.” He glanced at a nearby Puka and added, “Pukas are not mutts.”

  The Puka huffed as if Rodaidh had just stated the obvious, then dismissed the conversation in favor of staring at a stew pot.

  “You can't even take a little criticism.” Conri waved a hand at the slim, deadly blond—one of the few Sidhe in the camp who had short hair.

  Generally, Sidhe—the most human-looking of the Fey—preferred to wear their hair long. I don't know if it has something to do with the fact that a lot of Sidhe have stunning hair in shades that humans can only achieve with the help of chemicals or if it's merely about aesthetics. Whatever the case, if you're Sidhe, cutting your hair short is considered to be a sort of rebellion, and a lot of Sidhe who live on Earth like to be rebellious. That and the fact that shorter hair helps them blend in better with humans.

  I'm not saying that human men don't have long hair—of course, some do—but long hair on a man, combined with some of the hair colors Sidhe are born with, can make a Fey man stand out more than he'd prefer. Their otherworldly beauty attracted enough attention as it was. Of course, not all male fairies are concerned about blending in with humans. In some cases—Daxon, for example—they enjoy the attention. So, why does Daxon have short hair? Because he also likes to be stylish and he thinks that short hair is more in style on Earth. As he had once pointed out to me; even women wear their hair short in HR.

  “Conri,” I didn't raise my voice, just casually spoke his name, but he heard me nonetheless. He also heard my unspoken order.

  And winced.

  “I was just having some fun, Your Highness,” Conri whined.

  “Can it, Con,” Killian said. “We haven't even left FR yet. What the fuck is wrong with you anyway? I don't remember you being quite this... feisty.”

  “Just like our princess, the Bargest needs some conflict,” Torquil noted. “Ever since we've had peace, he's had to create that conflict for himself. Thus, the fights with Desmond, the heavy drinking, and the general bad attitude with everyone who isn't Gradh or royal.”

  “Fuck you, Blue Man Group,” Conri declared.

  “That doesn't make any sense,” Torquil said dryly. “One person, by definition, cannot be a group.”

  “It was a play on your coloring,” Conri grumbled. Then he turned to Gradh to say, “You're the only one who understands me.”

  “I'm with Torquil on this one, Con.” Gradh shook her head. “He can't be a group. Now, if you added King Daxon to your insult, it might work but then you'd also be screaming and cowering on the ground like a little girl mere seconds after you said it. So, I don't recommend that. Nor would I recommend you adding me to the insult as it would mean a significant loss of sex in your future.”

  “Wow, babe,” Conri said irritably. “Way to be supportive.”

  “Don't call me babe.”

  “That's what Princess Seren calls her husbands.”

  “And that's for them to take offense to or not,” Gradh shot back. “I, however, will not allow it.”

  “Honeybun?” Conri offered instead.

  Gradh grimaced.

  “Sugar pie? Babycakes? Cupcake?”

  “Have you been spending time in the kitchens? Those are the worst endearments I've ever heard.” Torquil noted disdainfully.

  “It's called the Internet, dude,” Killian called over to Torquil. “You should give a try sometime.”

  “Actually, it's called television,” Conri said. Then he blinked. “Holy apples of Danu! You can use the Internet for more than free porn?”

  Gradh turned on her heels and walked away.

  “Sweetheart!” Conri cried as he went after her. “Dearest one! Snookiepants!”

  Gradh turned around and gaped at Con. “You made that last one up.”

  Conri grinned. “But it got you to stop walking.”

  “Why did you ever knight that imbecile?” Rodaidh asked me as he took a seat beside Daxon.

  “Because he's honorable, competent, capable, and—most importantly—
he pestered me until I gave in.”

  Everyone laughed at that. Of course, it wasn't true. Danu had knighted Conri through me. But it was funny so Con went along with it. Because not only is he all of those things I listed, he's also a bit of a ham and can never pass up the chance to work a crowd.

  “That's right!” Conri declared. “When I see something I want, I'm like a dog with... a...”

  “What was that, Bargest?” Killian asked and laughed.

  “Fuck,” Conri growled. “I knew those human sayings would bite me in the ass someday.”

  “Just like a dog defending his bone,” Rodaidh agreed.

  “Picture Book, I'm going to cut some of your tattoos off and eat them for dinner,” Conri snarled.