Killian

by Ryan Michele

  “Ellie…” he warned.

  “Killian…” I warned back.

  He ran his hands over his face. “We go raw. You in my bed, and no one else will come close to me.”

  “How do I trust that?”

  “Just like you trust me to keep you safe. Just like you trust me to take care of you. Just like you trust I didn’t poison the damn sauce.”

  I gasped. “You didn’t!”

  He shook his head as he went to the stove, stirring the pots quickly before he came back to me. “Woman. Told you. That shit you heard about me was right at one time. It isn’t anymore. You don’t know that, but I’ll fuckin’ show you.”

  His hand came to the back of my neck. He pulled me close and kissed me hard, wet, and deep. When he pulled away, I was dazed and had a difficult time focusing.

  “That right there. Follow it,” he said, turning away and going to the cabinets. I didn’t watch. I was too busy trying to breathe.

  Something just happened here. Something big. Something that scared the ever-loving shit out of me. Something there was no coming back from.

  Yeah, I was fucked.

  The food was fantastic. Rather than play everything over and over in my head, I decided to focus on the moments. Each one as they came. Killian really could cook, and while I was here, I was going to ask him to cook everything for me. I swore I’d never had better spaghetti in my life. Not even the hobnob place a couple towns over that had Italian food could compare to the sauce Killian made.

  Since it was late, we went to bed. Yes, we went to bed.

  I knew I was sinking deeper into something I more than likely couldn’t get out of. But it was hard to say no. One, because I really didn’t want to. Two, he was so warm, hard, and strong. He was the comfort in the storm that had brewed in my life.

  Yes. This needed to get over so I could go back to my normal life and forget all of this even happened. He said he wanted to be with me, but I just … didn’t know if I could allow myself to truly fall. The risk to my heart was too great. While I’d love for it to be true, I still had my doubts.

  Giving up his lady-chasing ways would be a huge step in making Killian an honest man. But I wasn’t going to kid myself and think I could change him. I knew better than to ever think that.

  11

  Ellie

  “Are you sure about this?” I asked Bri for the millionth time this morning.

  Earlier, Killian got up and made breakfast, French toast this time, with vanilla and cinnamon; it was phenomenal. During that time, Bri announced out of the blue she was going to stay with her two brothers for a while.

  I tried talking her out of it because I liked her here with me, safe behind the walls of the cabin. Also, she was a great buffer.

  Killian made it clear going to my brother’s wasn’t an option. Or so he thought. No man controlled me. He’d learn that quick enough. I appreciated everything he’d done, but something had to give. This would be the first step in breaking that connection.

  Bri’s brothers had a house outside of town. One was a retired SEAL, and the other was a brute of a man, both of whom wouldn’t let anything happen to Bri. They would have no problem keeping her safe.

  I just wanted her with me. It was selfish, but I was getting desperate.

  Every moment with Killian was making me go crazy in so many ways, good and bad. Without her there to butt in, lord knew how this would go. Really, I knew how it would go—with me on my back, a lot.

  Killian reached in and grabbed Bri’s bag from the backseat of the SUV as her brothers came out the door and started for us.

  They wrapped Bri up in tight hugs, and each of them shook Killian’s hand. I hugged them, and Killian growled so loud, I had to turn around and glare at him. These two goofs, okay hot goofs—I wasn’t blind—were like brothers to me, and if I wanted to hug them, I damn well would.

  Brayden, Bri’s older brother, eyed Killian closely then looked to me. “You and him an item now?”

  “N…”

  “Yes,” Killian interrupted. He was pissing me off, so I pulled away from Brayden.

  “Stop doing that!” I bit off then turned to Brayden. “He’s always talking over me. It’s annoying as hell.”

  Brayden grinned. “See you got a live one.” While I thought he was talking to me, he wasn’t. He was talking to Killian who grinned.

  “What’s up with the grinning?” Then I smacked Brantley, Bri’s other brother, on the shoulder. “And I’m not a fish. No live one here.”

  Everyone burst out laughing … everyone but me. While I didn’t find anything funny with the shit they were doing, I guessed they did.

  “No, babe. You’re not a fish,” Brantley said through a chuckle. “Just know you have someone else to spread your smartass-ness too.”

  “I’m not a smartass.” It was automatic to defend myself, always had been really, and I wouldn’t stop now.

  Killian stepped up, hooked an arm around my neck, and pulled me to him so our bodies were flush. “Yeah. You are. Remember this the next time you make me laugh.”

  “I don’t make you laugh.” As soon as the words came out, I knew it was a lie. I remembered each and every time he laughed and how that made me feel.

  All gooey inside. Shit, I was already falling too deep.

  “You’re so full of shit.” Killian kissed the top of my head.

  I broke away, needing a huge timeout, and went to Bri. “Are you sure you want to say in their testosterone-filled house?”

  Her brow quirked like I was the stupidest woman on the planet. “And staying with Killian lessens the testosterone?”

  She had me there. Killian had enough for a freaking village at this point. Damn it to hell.

  “Fine, but you have to call me every day.”

  Bri shook her head. “I’ll text, but I have to get back to work. We don’t know why your house was hit, and until we find Khloe, we really can’t get any concrete answers. I have to get back to my life.” I could read the panic in her eyes, but I also understood her desperation to feel like something was normal again.

  Khloe had probably left the state at this point. How she got mixed up in this shit, I’d never know. Hopefully, she’d contact one of us and tell us what the hell was going on. Then we could all get back to our lives. I was ready to not have to look over my shoulder in fear another bullet would be flying toward me, that was for sure.

  “Just be careful. Tell people around you, and have them keep an eye out.”

  “Yes, Mom,” Bri said with a saccharin sweet voice. She was playing with me. God love her. “I’ll do as you say.”

  “Good!” I pulled her into my arms, hugging her one more time. It wasn’t as if she was going to another planet or something, and I wouldn’t see her. But I’d still miss her. I’d always miss her, either for five minutes or five years. Time didn’t matter. That was what best friends did.

  I shot Brayden and Brantley with a scowl to rival Maleficent’s. “You take care of her. She gets hurt, then I’m coming after you.”

  They both laughed at me. Brantley even came up and rustled my hair. They grabbed Bri and headed inside.

  It was time to go. I really didn’t want to go back to Killian’s house and be alone. All he had to do was kiss me, and I’d be screwed once again.

  Literally.

  “I need to go to my house.”

  Why did I say that? Why? Why? I didn’t want to see the devastation my home had been turned into. I didn’t want to see all my furniture shot to hell. No, I didn’t have a lot of stuff, but what I had was mine. No one else’s.

  Now I’d have to go buy new stuff which would take a chunk of change. I wasn’t sure if my insurance company covered drive-by shootings, but I was hoping like hell they did. Remembering the policy was a no-go for me.

  “You sure?” he asked, knowing that I didn’t want to go there because I’d told him. A couple of times he’d asked if I wanted to go, and I said no each time. But it was something I needed to d
o, and now was as good a time as any.

  “No,” I answered honestly. “But I need to submit the claim and hope they write me a check so I can get the repairs done.”

  “You plannin’ on livin’ there?” he asked, swinging into the SUV. I got in on the other side. I could actually feel the tension filling up the space, which was strange. Why wouldn’t I move to my own house?

  My face scrunched up. “Yeah. It’s my house.”

  “Right,” he said, a bit hacked off; about what, I didn’t know. I didn’t want to know. There was too much going on in my brain to worry about this too. Killian had a tendency to get pissed at things I said, and I just rolled with it. It was the best I could do.

  “So will you take me?”

  “Yep,” he answered without hesitation, and I liked that. Liked that he could give me what I needed and not make a huge deal out of it.

  Unfortunately, the drive there was all too fast. Killian was too quiet, and as we pulled up, I felt my breath catch. While I might not have a lot, what I did have was pieces that I loved. The outside of my home had been riddled with bullet holes and mass destruction. I didn’t know what I expected to see, but suddenly the situation was all coming into focus.

  The siding would need to be replaced, along with the windows, doors, and trim. Probably even the roof. Please, insurance man, save me.

  I jumped out as soon as the SUV came to a stop. I took in my house, the absolute weight of it all crushing down on me. Killian said not a word as he grabbed my hand and led me to the back of the house. He pulled out a key and inserted it in the back door.

  Stepping in from this side, everything was exactly the same. It was in the kitchen and living room where the damage was. And there was a lot of it.

  While it sucked and I’d have a lot of work in my future, this wouldn’t slow me down. I’d fix it and move on just like always. That was what women like me did. We found solutions and rolled with them.

  It didn’t make me happy, but I was alive. Bri was alive. That was the bottom line. Stuff could be replaced. I remembered telling Bri that, and it was true.

  “Guess my premiums are gonna go up,” I murmured to myself, and Killian must’ve heard me because he chuckled. It was a great sound, never really paying much attention to people’s laughter before Killian’s hit my ears. Weird how life happened.

  “Yep. Probably.”

  “What can I do for your guys? The ones who boarded everything up.”

  Killian moved into me, stuck his front to my back, and wrapped me in his arms. I didn’t push him away. His comfort was needed even though I was rolling on; it still sucked. His strong arms around me, though, helped wonders.

  “Nothin’.”

  “I have to do something. I can’t cook much or bake. But I could buy them cookies or cakes or something.”

  Killian’s body shook, and I knew he was laughing. “Babe, my guys do what needs to be done. Nice gesture, but they get paid for what they do.”

  This sparked my interest. “How many guys do you have?” I paused, wondering if he was even going to reply.

  “Nine guys. Some are full, some are part-time. And I have two women.”

  This made me want to scream, and for reasons I didn’t want to express, but I pushed that feeling down. “So you have eleven people that you’re responsible for?”

  I felt him tilt his head. “Actually, there are a few more, but that’s the basics.”

  “What is it you do, Killian?”

  His arms tightened. “A little bit of everything.”

  “You’re not going to tell me, are you?”

  “Not right now while we stand in your living room. You really wanna know, Ellie? Then I’ll tell you as much as I can.”

  I turned in his arms, hope alighting my expression. “Really? You will?”

  His hand cupped the side of my face. “Yeah. You’re in my bed. You deserve to know.”

  This sent a shot of fear down my spine. He was actually going to tell me what he did for a living, and I was nervous to know. Killian was a badass, that was for sure, but did he do illegal things?

  That couldn’t be true because he was there that night with the cops and led Landon away. Cops wouldn’t do that unless they respected the man.

  “Okay,” I responded, turning back to my house.

  Yep. It would take a shovel and lots of garbage bags to tackle it. “Let me take a few pictures, and then we can go.”

  At that, Killian released me. I dug out my phone and started snapping. At least it was only three rooms that got hit pretty bad. The living room, kitchen, and spare bedroom to be exact.

  “Got ’em?” Killian asked.

  “At least I can keep them and remember this beautiful time in my life.”

  Killian burst out laughing. “Remember what I said about you bein’ a smartass?”

  I glared. He kept laughing.

  12

  Ellie

  My brother stood in front of me, arms crossed over his chest and looking broody as hell. The thing was, I didn’t care. “I can’t believe you didn’t come and get me. Just ignored what I was screaming into the phone, and don’t tell me you didn’t hear me, Eli.”

  Elliot never liked it when we had our little chats. They came often, and most of the time he said something I didn’t like. This time he did something I didn’t like.

  “You were safe there, Ellie.”

  “And you knew this how?” I pushed, wanting to know more about the inner workings of this relationship between him and Killian. Never seeing them together in recent years, there had to be more to it than what was surface.

  Elliot wrapped me tight in his arms. I couldn’t ignore that, so I reciprocated. He stepped back a bit. “Killian is a good man. Rough around the edges, but an overall good guy. Knew he wouldn’t hurt a hair on your head. I also knew he’d keep you safe.”

  “Well, now he thinks we are together, together. He says all this shit that blows my mind. If you would’ve just came and got me, like I had asked, none of this would be happening.”

  Eli took another step back, his brow raised. “So you’re blaming all this on me?”

  It wasn’t his fault, and I knew it. “No. I just…”

  My head hung down. This was becoming too much.

  “Ellie, it’ll all be okay. If he hurts you, I’ll kill him.” I knew Eli was joking, to a point. He might not kill Killian, but he would beat the shit out of him or, at least, try. That would be a pretty good match, and I’d bet I could sell tickets and make some serious cash.

  “Any news on Khloe?” I changed the subject.

  “Talked to her folks and a couple of her friends. Says she went away for a few days on vacation, but they didn’t know where.”

  “That’s not right, Eli.” And it wasn’t. It appeared Khloe wasn’t the friend I thought she was.

  “I know.”

  “So whoever shot up my house, you probably don’t know that either?”

  His head shook. “Looked at the video, but it’s pretty grainy. Not to mention, they covered the license plates and wore masks.”

  “Since it’s not okay for me to live at home, I’m going to come and live with you.”

  “You do whatever you have to do. You’re always welcome at my place, but think about it. Killian’s place is secluded and with more security than the damn White House. And I’m not home all the time.” He was far too calm about me remaining with Killian. Not one boyfriend ever got the approval from my brother. And he never willingly allowed me to choose to stay with anyone but him. He really did think Killian would keep me safe.

  “Do you really think they’re going to come back?”

  He shrugged. “Don’t know that. What I do know is you’ll not have a single bullet inside your damn body. That is on my word.”

  “How did my life get so screwed up so fast?”

  Eli moved to the small fridge in my office, grabbed a bottle of water, and took a slug. “Life has ways of slammin’ shit in your face that you
don’t see coming.”

  “Now you sound like Killian, all cryptic and shit. Just lay it out.”

  “He’s wanted you for a while, Ellie.”

  This made my breaths seize. I wasn’t expecting my brother to admit that. Killian wanted me? I didn’t even know he knew I was alive. He’d never come to the bar, and we didn’t cross paths. For him to want me for ‘a while’ was crazy. “No, he didn’t. He’s just doing this protection thing now, and once it’s over he’ll go off with some redhead with big tits and ass.”

  Eli shook his head. “Don’t want to know about this shit, but you need to know. He’s asked me about you. It was casual and never really sent up any red flags. Then, as time went on, I knew something was up. He’s a determined man, Ellie, and if he says he wants this, he’ll have it.”

  “And what, I have no say in this whatsoever?”

  “You can pretend you do, but no. He’s a man, Ellie. Not like that jackass, Baker. No, Killian is a man who knows what he wants and sets out to do it. If he wants you, there’s no turning back.”

  This startled me. I knew it, but hearing it made it all the more real. “Then what, huh? He has me then dumps me, and I’m right back to where I started before this mess.”

  “I think if you actually give it a shot, you’d be surprised. When a man like Killian truly knows what they want, they get it and hold the fuck onto it.”

  “Great.” I looked up to the ceiling. “Relationship advice from the perpetual bachelor.”

  Eli grinned. “Don’t hate.”

  Sucking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. “You drive me up a damn wall.”

  “What are brothers for?” His face turned serious. “Ellie. That shit doesn’t work between you two, I’m there. Just want you to be happy.”

  That was my brother. Good to the core.

  “Love you. Now get the hell out of here. Isn’t your break over?”