Clockwork Looking Glass (Heart of Bronze Book 1)
Page 41
My eyes remained on his back, tracing the strong curves of his shoulder blades beneath his jacket, the glint of the hangar lights off his golden hair. I felt myself blushing as I suddenly passed a thought about running my fingers through that hair, hugging those broad shoulders. I quickly turned my gaze down to the catwalk.
We moved cautiously despite the cacophony in the room. I followed Bryce down to the end, glancing repeatedly around the hanger to see if anyone was going to chase us down or yell at us or start shooting. How Bryce could move so calmly and with such purpose astounded me. He wasn't just strong in appearance, he was strong of will and exuded bravery. Once we found a private office at the end of the hangar with windows on the front and side, I spoke up.
"You're brave," I said almost too quietly, as if I was playing on the noise in the hangar to distract my voice from his ears, playing a game that if he heard me I'd cop to the compliment, but if he didn't I wouldn't repeat myself.
Bryce checked the door and drew the shades on the windows overlooking the hangar's interior. "Brave?" I instantly blushed.
I nodded and looked around. The office was small, one wall curving slightly as it followed the shape of the enormous Quonset. A wooden desk and chair sat with its back to the window that overlooked the diner. Maps, charts and airplane blueprints polluted the desktop under a brass lamp. The wide double windows to the side that overlooked the back of the diner were over a saggy couch covered with a moth-eaten comforter. A coat rack and water cooler rounded out the room, and a series of tubes and pipes passed overhead, one of them bending down to a spot over the inbox on the desk. I imagined these were some kind of blow tubes that people in the hangar used to send notes and paperwork back and forth. There was something that looked like an intercom with brass buttons on the desk next to a model of a blue tri-plane, but I had no clue what it was.
Bryce left the lights alone. We stood in the darkness of the office with only the pale blue-white glow from the runway and tower lights to illuminate the room. Fortunately, the lights outside were bright enough that we didn't need to alert anyone to our position by lighting lights or oil lamps. Bryce sat on the edge of the desk and folded his arms. He smiled at me. Oh, that smile. "What do you mean, 'brave'? Why you are the bravest soul I know, Alice."
Remembering how our lips almost touched, but now feeling a little self conscious in the small room, I held my distance and crossed my arms over my chest, mimicking him. Maybe he was trying to keep his distance too. Didn't he find me attractive? Of course he didn't. I'm a frump, and at the very least an oddity: a woman who could defend herself.
I smirked. "Oh, that thing about taking out a whole pirate ship?" I blew a puff of air through pursed lips and waved it off. "That was nothin'." Then I nodded and gave him a glare. "I'm serious. Aren't you afraid someone saw us come up here? They're liable to think—"
"That I'm a Confederate officer on Confederate ground, though woefully out of uniform, escorting a known fugitive across state lines?"
I raised an eyebrow.
"Or that I'm a simple man with an attractive woman who I brought up here to get to know more intimately?" My body caught fire, starting with my face, into my neck, then... down there. I was thankful the darkness hid my blush. "Either one would be bad," I gulped.
Bryce chuckled. "Oh Alice... Well, to answer your question, I do have a Corporate Ident, and I don't know where you're from, but that's enough 'round here. I don't reckon we'll run into any trouble this late at night. These offices are closed and only maintenance people and pilots are about."
I shrugged slightly and stammered, my mind still reeling with the prospects of that word he said. What was it? Oh yes, intimate. "Oh... okay. I didn't... I wasn't sure that would be good enough if someone came up and found us. About the Corporate tattoo, I mean."
Bryce raised an eyebrow and smiled. I could see his white teeth even in the din, the glint of his eye as he turned to look out the window. "I am, above all, a gentleman, dear Alice. I would never think to let you get caught in a compromising position, not even with me."
"Oh." I didn't mean for the single word to come out sounding like disappointment, but it did. I quickly added, "So, what happens now—with your family, I mean?"
He stood up from where he leaned against the desk and began to pace, gesturing as he spoke as if considering the finer points of a lecture. I smiled in admiration at how he could put thoughts together so quickly and deliver them in that heart-melting accent. I found myself touching the locket on my neck as he spoke.
"You mean about the Lady McFerran and Clayton? Well, I'm obviously through with that, particularly my elder brother. Lady McFerran is a Lady of Grace, and I'm afraid she has far too much clout in the Confederacy to be trifled with. There is nothing I can do, legally or otherwise, to strike back at her for what she tried to do to you." He stopped and pondered a spot on the floor. His jaw set in a rigid line and the chord on his neck bulged. “As for Clayton.” Bryce shook his head slowly. “The longer I'm away from him the better.”
“Oh?” I squeaked.
“For what he did to you, Alice, I'd like to kill him.”
My blood froze. I had no idea the depths of Bryce's attachment to his brother, though the family dynamic I witnessed at Seven Orchards spoke to their savage closeness. He had been relatively quiet about Clayton's attempted rape up until now, and now I saw something in the dark glint of his eyes within the hangar office dim that frightened me—not for me, but for the man who attacked me.
I wasn't about to defend Clayton, but Bryce's anger seemed so alien to his regular demeanor. He didn't even look like this when Lucien tried to shoot me.
I started, but not knowing what to say, “Bryce—”
He broke in quickly, his thoughts already zipping along like a SkyTrain on a current. "I suppose the company will fall, drift into financial stagnation." He glanced up at me but didn't hold my eyes. "That's not a bad thing. It'll ruin father, but it's not as if we would fall to bankruptcy or seizure. Father's assets are far too extensive." He shook his head. "No, we'll just make do. It's what Landrys do.”
I frowned slightly. I didn't know what to say. He'd moved from Clayton to the family business. Now he looked crestfallen, dashed but resolute. I took a step forward and shrugged. "If I'm understanding this correctly, Lydia was only trying to forge a company alliance. I mean... that's what she was doing with Clayton, right? She didn't love you... right?"
He looked at me. "I didn't love her. Not really. Only at first. I..." He let out a long breath and rested his hands on his hips as he shook his head at the ground. “Honestly, I thought I was. She's a beautiful red-headed woman with lots of spirit and drive, but—”
“But?” I'm a beautiful redheaded woman with lots of spirit and drive.
“But... her love is for money, or power, prestige.” He shook his head. “I know Ladies of Grace must hide their identities, but I feel betrayed, ya know?”
I lowered my arms and let them flop at my side. "I guess I don't see how a civilization like this can exist. Is this really all about domination and warfare through property acquisition?"
Bryce only looked at me steadily. Completely without emotion, he simply nodded and said, "Yes."
I sighed. My sudden exasperation came out in an elevated tone. "How could you? I mean... What goes through your mind when you find out you're to be married off like a piece of cattle just to make your daddy more money? It just doesn't seem right, Bryce. What about love? What about true feelings and attachment?" Shut up, Alice.
His eyes dropped to the necklace he'd given me. He simply nodded and smiled. "I guess I never gave it much thought because I never had the time, or the cause to wonder."
"So, you're going to marry her? McFerran? You're going to marry Lydia at Christmas to satisfy a family contract? Despite not loving her. Despite her not loving you. Despite what Clayton tried to do to me and the fact she defended him?" I realized my voice was rising. I cleared my throat to disguise it and settled down.
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Bryce allowed himself a slight smile and shook his head. "No. She could have me arrested for defying a Lady of Grace, but I don't care. I can't. Not now. If she presses, there will be charges—charges on Clayton, and I know she won't want that."
My voice almost cracked. "She could arrest you? For not marrying her?"
He nodded and leaned back against the desk again. He took off his suit jacket and draped it over the chair behind the desk. Then he sighed and nodded. "If she wants to. Then, just like Thorne & Wolfe with the Atlantis takeover, she can declare a disillusionment of an established contractual obligation and turn over all of daddy's assets to the government for management."
"But... she wouldn't.” I stepped closer. “Would she? I mean... your father has a lot, Bryce."
He shrugged. "Well, yeah, unless she chooses to be vindictive because of this."
"Because of me." I hated to say it, but it was the truth. Again, I felt myself causing more harm than good. If what the Clockwork Carpenters had said was true, I wasn't meant to be here. I came here in pursuit of Ray Simcoe, and instead turned an entire history on its ear. I destroyed a company, I destroyed a marriage, I destroyed a home, a couple families, pretty much plunged a nation toward war, separated brothers and got who knows how many people killed besides Wilco. I looked down at the floor and shook my head.
Bryce stood and stepped up to me. He placed his finger under my chin and lifted my face to look into his eyes. "Hey now. Don't talk like that, Alice. Nothing that has transpired here is your fault. I'm the one that put it into motion two days ago when I saw you on top of the—"
"Yes, exactly. Because of me!" I started to turn but he took me by the arm.
Then he put his other hand behind my head and pulled me to his lips. The kiss was sudden but made all my nerve endings stand on end like they were at the Tesla Bridge. I felt my arms wrap around him as I fell into his embrace and parted my lips for him, returning the kiss and feeling his passion start to build. I no longer responded with my mind, or even my heart.
Then, as suddenly as it happened, it ended. Bryce pulled back and looked deep into my eyes. He stared at me. I couldn't tell if he was angry, upset or...
"I love you, Alice."
My jaw dropped. I didn't know what to say. I felt a bolt shoot through me. It made me dizzy. I felt my lower lip stammer as I struggled for something to say, stunned into shock by the sincerity of his voice and the look in his eyes. "Bryce, I..."
He shook his head. "Don't say anything. I know you've been through a lot and the sudden expression of my feelings is probably the last thing you need right now, but I had to say how I felt." He shook his head. “Don't worry on Lydia McFerran or Clayton or my father. All this will pass in time, and I'm not the kind to attract vindictiveness. I'm sure the Lady will forgive me, Clayton will go his way and Daddy will unlock his secret vaults piled with a dragon's gold.”
I nodded, then shook my head. Nodded again. "Bryce, how could you possibly... I mean...."
He kissed me again. This time his lips expressed the words more clearly. They were warm and tender, but gentle and kind. I somehow knew in that touch that he had never kissed Lydia McFerran this way, nor anyone else. Then he pulled back and studied my face.
"Why, Bryce?"
He didn't ask me to clarify. He just waited for me to explain on my own. I said, "Why do you want to send me back? Why do you want to get rid of me?" I felt the corner of my eyes burn, but I blinked rapidly to prevent any tears from falling. I sniffed and looked up at him. I couldn't believe what was happening, how quickly I was falling into this. He was so handsome, so strong, so bold, I was attracted to everything about him. But this world wasn't mine, at least I didn't think it was. I don't belong here. He knows it and I know it.
Suddenly, I didn't care. I pressed against him, holding tight with my palms pressed against those shoulder blades. I looked up into his eyes, pleading for an answer to all this craziness.
He took a deep breath and rested his hands on my shoulders. "Because I love you. And it's cruel for me to keep you to myself, to beg you to return those feelings without giving you the chance to really get to know me, to know this world." He shook his head and shrugged. "And, as you've said, this is not your world. You are literally Alice in Wonderland. You may have a home and family... maybe even a love far beyond this place. And your place is with them." His eyes became glassy as he fought to say one final thing before his emotions broke. "I will never forget you, Alice." He kissed his finger and touched it to the locket around my neck. "I only pray that you will remember me when you go home."
I could see this was paining him though he was doing very well at covering it. Bryce Landry had fallen in love with me and now he was facing what would be the hardest thing he would ever have to face. While his family, career and country deteriorated around him, he had to send off the woman he was falling in love with, cast me back into the unknown to try and save me—to return me to my home—and remain behind left with the decay and ruin I'd begun.
I shook my head. "I have no home to go back to, Bryce. I don't think my memories will ever come back, and even if they did, they said I can't go back."
"We have to try. You said yourself this is not where you belong, and it would be wrong of me to keep you here. We have to at least see if—"
"What we have to do is see if we can prevent a war, Captain Landry."
He blinked at the sudden even tone and seriousness to my voice.
"You said you'd stop at nothing to make sure I was returned home safe and sound, right? Well, what about my obligation to you?" I stepped back and folded my arms as some inner resolve cascaded forth. The real me, whoever that was, was bubbling up, taking charge. "Let's say for sake of fairness that we both owe each other something. You take the responsibility for me, but I take the blame for making you miss the Atlantis contract signing."
"Alice, I—"
I raised a hand. "Hear me out."
Bryce stepped back and leaned against the desk again. As he folded his arms over his chest, I lowered mine and stepped toward him. "Let me help you get Atlantis back. That should satisfy Lydia whether you marry her or not. It'll also satisfy your father."
He only looked at me. He knew where I was going with this, and knew that it was the way it needed to be done, but deep down inside I could see that he didn't want to lose me.
Of course I had other plans. I swore to myself that I would help fix what I'd caused. I'd turn Atlantis over to the Landry family no matter what the cost, then I'd start all over again. Here. I would make this world of Clockwork Carpenters and silent SkyTrains my home because I had no other home to go back to. Something deep inside, somewhere part of this real me was a woman who craved excitement and adventure. What better place? I couldn't expect that Bryce would still want me, or that he would believe that this is what I wanted, but maybe I'd get the chance to show him.
He seemed to consider this for a long time before glancing to the window. "Very well, Alice. We'll play it your way, but if an opportunity comes to send you back where you belong, that's what I'm goin' to do, okay?"
I nodded. And lied. "Deal."
His smile was sweet. "I wish you could tell me about your life, about your likes and dislikes, dreams and desires, and what you did before you came here." I stepped up to him and took his hands in mine. "Me too, Bryce. Me too."
For the next several minutes, maybe an hour, I felt anxious and couldn't sit still. I talked to Bryce about his life since mine was hiding invisibly in the back of my mind somewhere. I told him how adorable I thought Savannah was, how resolute and strong Adeline was, and how warm and charming Mother Landry was. I was surprised that in this Victorian age of regal chauvinism that Bryce seemed more "enlightened" than others. He actually wanted to see Adeline take over the family business one day. He said she "had a head for it." Clayton would never allow such a thing, but Bryce said he wasn't concerned about Clayton being in the picture after this was done. I didn't ask what he meant though
a cold chill sat in my gut as I wondered if Clayton would meet with some kind of “accident” down the road.
We finally found our first uncomfortable silence, both of us sitting on the edge of the desk looking out at the moon-washed runway, when we saw Lucien hobbling aimlessly with boxes in his arms. Bryce had found a flashlight in the drawer of the desk and now took it to the window and flashed it in the direction of the butler. Moments later, Lucien made his way upstairs to our hideaway without attracting any attention.
I said, "It amazes me how you guys do that."
"Do what, my dear?" Lucien asked as he shuffled over to the couch and began unpacking the boxes.
"How you can sneak past all those men down there and not set off alarms."
Bryce and Lucien exchanged glances. Bryce smiled and waved him on about what he was doing.
Lucien chortled as he opened and laid out the contents of the boxes. He simply huffed and said, “Most have gone off home, I'd say. There were only a few toward the back by a cargo plane I saw taxi this way earlier. Quiet as churches, dear Alice. Quiet as churches.”
I stepped up and saw a nice collection of clothes in my size. Riding pants, tall boots, a shirt, a leather jacket, a fur-lined hat with ear flaps, brass rimmed goggles and a scarf. I smiled. "I'll be a regular Amelia Earhart in this getup."
"Who?" Lucien asked.
"Forget it." I glanced at Bryce but quickly looked away. I'd just tipped another tell in his favor against keeping me here. Every time I mentioned something that didn't exist in this reality—or didn't exist the way they knew it—Bryce and Lucien looked at me like some kind of alien.