The Desert Midwife

by Fiona McArthur

  ‘Goodbye, Zac.’ He heard finality in that farewell and it jarred with him. Jarred like a cymbal on his head, but the ringing didn’t produce memories. Just a headache. Come on, Poddy. Arrive. She’d be better off without his dramas.

  Then the odd ringing tone of the satellite phone went off in the house and Ava turned away to answer it. He and Mim just looked at each other.

  When she reappeared, the shock on her face made him step towards her. ‘Ava?’

  Her eyes held his and he saw tears were running unheeded down her face. ‘Jock. Still alive. Hana’s with him. Hanged himself.’ She hurried towards Mim, who’d gasped and reeled with her hand to her mouth.

  ‘Mim. Find Mum and tell her to set up the sick bay. Phone RFDS for retrieval. Send Poddy as soon as he comes so we can bring him back fast. Lone Tree Hill. I’ll get the utility.’

  Zac strode towards the house. ‘I’ll grab first aid and Stella’s intubation equipment. Throats swell and occlude.’ Jock would need ventilation if he was going to survive.

  Chapter Forty-two

  Ava

  Ava jerked to a halt at the front door in the farm utility and wiped the tears off her cheek with a trembling hand. Zac jumped off the verandah and slid into the passenger seat. ‘Go.’

  Her brain was whirling and all she could think was, It’s my fault. She’d missed it. Zac had agreed that Jock’s depression was concerning and they’d made the appointment, but none of them had thought him this urgently in need of assessment. ‘Hana went looking for him. Found him hanging and cut him down.’

  Zac made a noise through his teeth. ‘How long?’

  ‘The ute was still running down the hill when she saw it. He’d used it to swing off.’

  Zac sighed. ‘Poor bloody Hana.’

  Ava didn’t want to think about poor Hana. ‘She had the sat phone. Imagine if she hadn’t.’

  He touched her arm. ‘Don’t imagine anything until we sort this.’

  Thank God you’re still here, she thought. And that was something else she didn’t want to imagine. All she said was, ‘Yes.’

  Then she glanced at him as they tore up the hill they’d walked so enjoyably down almost a week ago. ‘Have you seen hangings?’

  ‘Intubate. Ventilate. Resuscitate,’ he recited. ‘We’ll go from there. He’s alive now, so his odds are good.’

  She blew out her breath. Okay. ‘Thank you.’

  As soon as she spotted them she jerked the car to a halt. She saw Hana sitting on the ground beside the quad bike, her back against the wheel, her body stiff. Jock’s head lay in her lap. His neck purple and face swollen, his lips bloody where he’d bitten them. He was unconscious, and rattling gasps slowed as his wind pipe closed with the swelling and air entry began to shut down. Hana had blood on her mouth, and Ava guessed it was because she’d kissed him.

  Ava said, ‘Can you slide out, Hana?’

  Zac moved her aside. ‘Take his shoulders as I lift her out. He’s occluding.’ Zac had Hana out and Jock flat on his back in seconds, and Ava reached for the kit to hand him the airway. ‘Straight to endotracheal or we won’t get it in?’ She lubricated it.

  ‘Yep.’ Zac slid the tube past the obstruction and blew up the balloon, then attached the bag to hand ventilate. They both shuddered with relief as Jock’s chest rose and fell with Zac’s squeeze of the bag. The simplified version of emergency airway.

  Ava reached for his wrist. ‘Pulse one eighty.’ Her voice broke and she sucked back the sob that wanted to explode.

  ‘Same as mine,’ Zac said quietly and Ava blinked and then nodded.

  ‘Mine too. Thanks.’ Focus on reality, she told herself. Jock was breathing. He had a pulse. It could have been worse. She glanced at Hana, but her sister-in-law’s eyes were glued to the rise and fall of Jock’s chest, her lips moving in prayer. Bloody, bloody hell.

  They put in a cannula for access in case they needed adrenaline and Zac gave some sedation in case Jock woke with a tube in his throat. Though he was still unconscious, they should be able to keep him stable until he could be airlifted out. What happened after that they could pray about. Ava fumbled until she found the blood-pressure machine.

  When she’d completed the measurement she said, ‘His blood pressure is okay, Hana, which is a good sign.’

  ‘Mine isn’t.’

  There was something in Hana’s voice that made Ava plead silently to God. ‘Hana?’

  ‘I fell. After I cut the rope. I hit my stomach and the contractions have started.’

  Ava crawled away from her brother across the rocks until she knelt beside Hana and rested her hand on her sister-in-law’s stomach. The uterus below her fingers was rock hard. ‘Oh, sweetheart. You are so brave and wonderful. Hold on.’

  Chapter Forty-three

  Stella

  The Royal Flying Doctor aircraft landed at Setabilly Station for the second time in a week, but this time they came from a distance and didn’t arrive until almost three in the afternoon.

  Stella waited for the engines to wind down, and unlike her daughter-in-law’s calm last week, she wanted to run across to the plane and beat on the doors for them to open.

  ‘Zac says they’ll be fine. Zac says they’ll be fine.’ She chanted the litany over and over, mouthing the words, mashing her hands together, moaning a little between the sentences. She wished Lorenzo were here, but he’d gone out into the paddocks and couldn’t be contacted.

  Stella relived the horror she had felt when Hana had phoned Ava. Jock hadn’t woken during the transfer from the hill. She and Mim had remained at the house to phone for retrieval, and they’d clutched each other’s hands until Jock had been carried in by Zac and Poddy, and Hana had limped in, held up by Ava.

  Her darling boy, her baby Jock, sedated with a tube in his throat to keep his airway open, carried in like the dead. Like her dad had been that horrific day ten years ago. Stella’s lip quivered and she brushed away the trickle of tears on her cheeks. She glanced at Mim, who looked just as shocked. She’d thought nothing could have been worse than her dad being carried in. Now it was her son. And her dear daughter-in-law and her grandchild.

  Ava and Zac, both professional to the core though their faces had been blanched ashen, confirmed that Jock’s vital signs were stable, but Hana’s uterus had been contracting, they hoped only from the stress. Though they didn’t say it, everyone was thinking, Please, God, not from the fall. She had no blood loss or other pain, so Ava said that was a good sign.

  Usually the calm one in emergency situations, Stella had felt small and frightened, and finally asked Mim to phone Lorenzo again to come and just be there in case they needed help, but really, she just needed his presence. His housekeeper had said she would make sure he drove over as soon as he returned. He should arrive by the time she got back to the house with the doctor and the flight nurse.

  Come on, people. Get out of the aircraft.

  Finally, the propellers stopped turning and the door swung down to form the steps. The flight nurse and the doctor seemed unhurried, but they appeared beside her very quickly.

  ‘Thank goodness,’ Stella said, and her hands seemed to shake more visibly the longer it took for them to put their equipment into the car.

  The flight nurse nodded in greeting. ‘We get that a lot.’ Then, when she looked at Stella, she said, ‘Would you like me to drive, Mrs May?’

  Stella touched her cheeks and realised she was crying. ‘Yes, please.’

  When they arrived back at the house, Stella’s heart squeezed at the sight of Hana’s face, pale and wooden, with two tear trails from lid to chin as she held Jock’s hand in hers. Her beautiful dark eyes were huge and hauntingly tragic as she stared down at Jock.

  Mim sat with Ava, squeezing her granddaughter’s fingers as the medical team concentrated on Jock. Stella could see how the fragile, veined hand shook, and she crossed to them both to rest her hands on their shoulders.

  Ava turned her way. ‘Mum. He’ll be all right. He’s tough.’ Th
en her voice cracked. ‘We’ll never let him do that again … Poor Hana.’

  Stella’s heart was breaking. ‘I know, sweetheart. I know.’

  The next half-hour saw them stabilise Jock and load him, still on the spine board they kept for medical emergencies, still sedated, back into the station utility, with Poddy driving. This time, Zac and the doctor rode in the back tray with Jock for the slow and careful drive out to the aircraft, and Hana, in Stella’s car with the nurse, was driven out by Ava and accompanied by Mim.

  Stella stood watching them leave the house, Lorenzo’s arm around her, her face a mask. When he came back, Poddy would drive into Alice to be there for Hana until the others arrived.

  Stella watched the tail-lights fade and shivered. She was so, so cold.

  ‘They will be well, cara amica.’ Lorenzo’s deep voice seemed to come from a long way off and she blinked several times to break the stare she had fixed on the receding red glow. The ice seemed to be spreading through her body and she shivered again. His arm tightened around her, and she slowly turned her head to look at him.

  She was being weak, leaning into this man, who she barely knew yet felt she did. If he hadn’t been here the house would be empty while she waited for Ava and Mim to return, and she’d be left with the detritus of a field hospital and the crushing worry all by herself. She thought perhaps she might have lost herself in the emptiness if he hadn’t been with her.

  ‘I’m sure they will.’ All of them. The words sounded hollow and unconvincing even to her, but Jock was alive, and Zac had said he’d get the best care. Stella wanted to shriek to the sky. She would defer it until later. For now, she tried to calm herself.

  Please, God, let Hana and the baby be fine. She couldn’t cope with another lost baby like Ava’s Amelia. But Ava had said there’d been no bleeding. And if the contractions didn’t stop, Hana would be in the right place to get the necessary care. But thirty-one weeks?

  Hana should stay in Alice now until the baby was born. She’d tell them both.

  Zac and Ava had been incredible. Especially Zac. He’d intubated Jock, sedated him, kept him stable until he could hand him over. Zac. A few days ago, she’d wished he’d go home so Ava could recover. Because Stella herself had decided that her daughter would be unhappy and lose her way like her mother had. How foolish she’d been. Life was too short not to grab happiness when you could.

  Life could end. But not like this. Never like this. There’d been too many funerals in her life already.

  She felt herself pulled into strong arms more securely. ‘Come. We will drink your tea and all your bambini will be well.’

  Lorenzo’s arm steered her back into the house through the hall and into the kitchen, where he settled her down on a chair. She was barely aware of the move.

  Big, beautiful Jock. Her son. So close to death, so lost and alone. How would they come back from this? Though Zac had been reassuring, and help was being given now. Importantly, he had breathed before the swelling because Hana had cut him down quickly.

  Stella thought of her daughter-in-law. ‘Hana will be beside herself until he wakes,’ she said. She should have listened to Ava when she’d said he was depressed. Made something happen right away. But she’d been too busy thinking of Noah and the way he’d dealt with her leaving. That too had been suicide of a sort, and she’d panicked into denial. More evidence of her being useless again.

  Lorenzo patted her shoulder. ‘I see you are creating the disastro in your head. We will be positive. Say “yes, Jock will recover”. Say “yes, Hana’s baby will be safe”. I will say this with you every hour until this happens.’ Lorenzo crouched down in front of her. ‘Let me drive you to Alice tomorrow.’

  Stella shook her head. ‘No.’ She needed to go with her family. Though when she looked at him, she wished they could leave now, but they’d wait for daylight. It was the sensible thing to do. They couldn’t afford any more accidents, and travelling so far at night wasn’t safe.

  Lorenzo frowned slightly, but all he said was, ‘I will be here for you. You need to remember this. But I will explain another day.’ Then he stood and began to rifle through the cupboards behind her.

  She heard the chink of glass on glass and a thimble-sized shot of amber liquid appeared beside her face. ‘Sip while I make the tea.’

  She took it absently, sipped and grimaced. He’d poured from the bottle of cooking brandy she kept in the cupboard.

  ‘Medicine,’ he said.

  ‘Are you trying to get me drunk?’ Yuck, but the sip she’d taken had warmed a trail in her chilled centre. She took another.

  ‘One day I would like this. Not today.’ She heard the smile in his voice and that hidden thread of someone sane in this suddenly cracked world sounded reassuring, so she clung to it.

  She turned her face. ‘Why do you like me, Lorenzo?’

  His dark eyes stared down at her and his face softened. ‘You stay in my mind. And burn my heart like this liquid burns you. But that too is for another day.’

  Chapter Forty-four

  Hana

  Hana lay in her bed in the antenatal ward of Alice Springs Hospital with her hand resting on the mound of her tummy. The machine they’d strapped to her stomach beat out the clopping heart sounds of her baby in a steady, reassuring rhythm and showed no contractions. Inside her belly, below her fingers, a tiny jiggle of movement dragged a small smile onto her pinched face. ‘Thank you, baby, for being a warrior, and staying in there. Now we just have to sort out your father.’

  A noise at the door turned her head and she saw Ava, holding a pot of tea and two cups, and Hana waved her in. Thank God for Ava and the whole of Jock’s family. Though Poddy had been a star to drive through the night and be here for her first.

  Her sister-in-law put the pot and mugs down on the bedside table and leaned over to give Hana a kiss on the cheek.

  ‘You okay?’ The words were quiet because it was too early for visiting hours. The perks of working here, she guessed.

  Hana thought about the question. Was she okay? She settled for ‘As good as could be expected.’

  Ava nodded. ‘Baby?’

  ‘Jiggling.’ Hana patted her belly and Ava smiled.

  ‘Contractions?’

  ‘Stopped.’ Thank goodness. Part two of the world’s most frightening night flight. A flight to save her husband and as an added bonus the worry that she’d have a premature birth or lose her baby.

  ‘Good.’ Ava nodded again and sat down. ‘Zac’s spoken to the psychiatrist on duty, and they’ll keep Jock sedated for another twelve hours. His neurological signs are good, no fits, no obvious signs of brain damage. The intubation meant he could breathe until the swelling subsided. The rest is recovery. They’ve had consistently good outcomes from that scenario. You got him down quickly.’

  Hana flinched. ‘I dropped him.’

  ‘Good.’ The two women looked at each other and both sets of eyes filled with tears. Ava’s hand snaked out and held Hana’s. ‘Thank you for saving my brother.’

  ‘It was too close.’

  Ava’s eyes narrowed. ‘Maybe it needed to be close to wake him up.’

  ‘You don’t mean that,’ Hana whispered in horror.

  ‘No.’ Ava sighed. ‘No, I don’t. Nobody will be sorrier that this happened than Jock. I should have seen how unwell he was.’ Her eyes met Hana’s and there was a fierce intensity Hana hadn’t heard before in her sister-in-law’s voice. ‘That wasn’t Jock who tried to die. That was an illness, an illness that got away from all of us, that we should have seen and treated. We won’t miss it again.’

  ‘He hid it.’

  Ava shook her head again, no doubt in the movement. ‘The illness is devious. Jock is not.’

  Hana’s lips trembled no matter how hard she tried to keep them still. She was struggling to comprehend the horror. ‘He must have convinced himself that the insurance policy would save the family farm.’

  ‘The disease did that,’ Ava said again.

>   Hana nodded. ‘I know. It twisted the truth until it seemed real. Created the scenario in his mind that everyone would be better off with him dead.’

  Ava sighed again. ‘I know. All decisions at Setabilly are joint ones. But we have him safe now, thanks to you.’ Ava squeezed Hana’s hand. ‘And he will get well.’

  Hana glanced down at her stomach. ‘He’s only got ten weeks.’

  ‘He’ll be more himself with the meds in four. Zac says the psychiatrist is brilliant. He checked him out with friends in Sydney. We’re lucky to have the best care.’

  Hana jumped on the change of subject. Diversion was good. ‘How is Zac? He was amazing.’

  ‘Yes, he was. And he’s fine.’ Ava’s voice was noncommittal.

  ‘Will you see him while you’re here?’

  Ava shook her head. ‘He’s going down to Uluru for a week. Mum and I will go home as soon as Jock is awake and stable. We still have a muster to organise. Is it okay if we take Poddy back with us?’

  ‘He’ll want to go back to help now that he knows I’m okay and Jock’s okay.’

  ‘Poddy did well to get here so quickly. I wanted to come with him, but I thought Mum would lose it if I went.’

  ‘He’s a wonderful brother.’

  ‘Brothers are wonderful. And you saved mine.’ Ava blinked away fresh tears and changed the subject. ‘If Poddy will come back, that would be a bonus.’

  Hana put her head back and closed her eyes. ‘And I’ll be no help?’

  ‘Having you here in town will be an enormous help.’ Ava gestured to the phone with her hand. ‘You’re our contact with Jock. Mim’s staying with you at the flat until Jock’s out of the mental-health unit. Lorenzo’s son is back from Sydney and has organised a muster gang – goodness knows how, but I don’t care. We’ll go back in a few days and get it over with, though the numbers will probably be small. I don’t think Mum even cares.’