The Midwife's Secret Child

by Fiona McArthur

  Perhaps better to search for answers, even if he was not ready for more time with her.

  She looked across at him. ‘Would you like to spend the afternoon with us, though Chloe will probably have a rest now, or are you jet-lagged and want to come back later before the barbecue?’

  ‘Thank you, Faith.’ He shook his head. ‘Again, you surprise me with your kindness. And yes, please. I would like to talk with you this afternoon.’

  She looked at this tall, handsome, serious man outside her door and tried again to think of this from his point of view. ‘I don’t think I’m being kind. Just practical.’ She lowered her voice. ‘We need to discuss things.’

  She opened the gate, walked to the door and pushed it open.

  When she looked back to invite him in his face had paled. ‘You do not lock your door?’

  She glanced back at the wooden door she’d pushed open off the latch. ‘Only if we go away. And that’s more to stop it blowing open.’ She watched Chloe put her sand bucket down wearily outside the door and kick off her sandy flip-flops. Faith brushed her daughter’s dark hair with her hand as the little girl passed in front of them. ‘Straight through into the bathroom, Missy.’

  She turned back to watch Raimondo remove his beach shoes, trying to ignore the way his broad back rippled and his dark hair curled on his strong neck. Shook her head at herself. ‘Come in when you’re ready. I’ll just get Chloe showered and she’ll have a lie down and rest.’

  She followed her daughter in but a subtle, sensitive part of her was very aware of the man following. ‘There’s an album on the table of Chloe’s baby photos if you’d like to look at that while I sort Chloe out.’

  His face lit when he saw the album she’d discreetly placed this morning before they left.

  ‘Thank you.’ Then a quirked brow in her direction and a slight smile. ‘And after Chloe will you sort me out?’

  She met his eyes. ‘That’s my plan.’

  CHAPTER TEN

  WHEN RAIMONDO LOOKED at his watch only fifteen minutes had passed since Faith had left him. Yet his daughter’s whole life had passed before his eyes.

  His chin felt raw where he’d continually rubbed in deep emotion with his chest tight and painful as he’d slowly turned the pages of his daughter’s, and the beautiful Faith’s, world.

  A life he’d known nothing of while he’d passed his time on the other side of the planet, missing it all completely.

  In his mind that first album page still haunted him and he could have wept for the loss for himself and for his Australian family. Could have wept for what might have been if he had known of Faith’s pregnancy and Chloe’s impending arrival.

  Faith had done this alone.

  Though no, not alone, for her aunt had been there. He and his family owed an enormous debt to Faith’s aunt Isabel.

  But he should have been the one to support the mother of his child.

  He turned the pages back to the start, not for the first time, and gazed again. A rosy-skinned and radiantly exultant Faith, so young and so smiling up at the camera from a large circular bath, water lapping the swell of her breasts, and a little higher on her chest lay his brand-new owl-eyed baby daughter, staring into her mother’s eyes, her tiny body slightly blue, patches of white vernix from the pregnancy still covering her plump baby creases as another woman leaned across to lay a towel over them both.

  Dios. His heart actually felt as if it grew and expanded inside him and would explode out of his ribs, tearing his chest apart.

  He turned forward the pages to the photos of his daughter’s last birthday. The starfish cake, four candles, her baby face maturing into a bigger little girl, her mother’s loving smile as she leaned across towards her daughter and helped blow out the candles. Such a moment, captured with love from the photographer. Sì, he owed Izzy a great debt. So many wonderful moments to be shared with him even as a future observer.

  He heard Faith close the door gently to his daughter’s room and then cross the lounge area towards him. Her bare feet whispered on the rugs that covered the wooden floors in circles of bright colour.

  Her home radiated the same welcoming charm the woman did.

  He looked down at the album and then towards her. Words failed him.

  She brushed his shoulder in a fleeting touch of sympathy as she passed to sit opposite. ‘You look...upset.’ She was giving comfort to him when it should have been the other way around.

  ‘Regretful.’ He moistened his tight throat. ‘The photographs are very beautiful.’ Thankfully his voice remained steady. He pushed the album towards her chair when in fact he wanted to tuck it under his arm and run with it. ‘Thank you for showing me.’

  She straightened the big album on the table without opening the cover. ‘Chloe looks at the photographs a lot.’

  He laughed and even he could hear the exasperation. ‘As would I. The photographer is gifted.’

  ‘Izzy, of course. She’s been good with everything.’

  ‘I can see that I let you down.’ Then he leaned forward. The silence stretched between them as he tried to form the words he needed. ‘I don’t understand. I never dreamed... How did this happen?

  ‘Bah.’ He waved his hand at the past, at his ludicrous statement. ‘We know how...’ And for a brief moment their eyes met and humour danced between them. Then it was gone.

  ‘How do I ask this?’ He ran his hand through his hair, anxious not to place blame because that would do neither of them good. ‘I am sure we were exuberant, young and excited for this thing that sprang so powerfully between us...’ he looked at her and the faint blush on her cheeks only made her more painfully beautiful ‘...but I thought we were careful?’

  ‘It’s a fair question...’ she smiled ruefully ‘...and one I continually asked myself when that pregnancy stick proved positive.’ She shrugged. ‘We were careful.’ Yet he could see she was embarrassed.

  Her, embarrassed? A joke. Nothing she could do was anywhere near the moral catastrophe he had achieved and left her to deal with.

  ‘I missed two pills during the conference before we met, though took them when we were together. So must have been susceptible to ovulate.’ Her voice lowered. ‘Apparently, we had needed that second defence. But by the time I found out it was too late as I was pregnant.’

  He thought about that.

  Thought about the lovely young woman he’d fallen for in the airport, fresh and vibrant. Almost innocent. So full of life and passion and enthusiasm for her work—and he had left her pregnant and with the heartbreak he’d caused her.

  He could have destroyed her with his carelessness if she hadn’t been so resilient. He thought about what he’d done to her ordered life and then he’d flown away without a backward glance. No. Even that hadn’t been true.

  He’d glanced back a lot. But those few days he had shared with Faith had been dreamlike. A mirage. Something he didn’t deserve.

  As if she’d read his mind she said softly, ‘Maybe it’s different for men. I’d like to know how you felt as you flew away.’

  He owed her that.

  Though he wondered if he could be as honest as she was. Regardless, he needed to be. Such a small price to pay. ‘What you gave me in those few days was a gift and I cherished the memories in the months and years ahead. Yet it was strange how little I felt I deserved such happiness. Perhaps that is why I did not make it back. Wedding Marie was a return to the time of my grandfather. Without joy. But my duty. You were the dream I didn’t deserve.’

  He shrugged. ‘Melodramatic, perhaps. You have to understand my family to understand my actions. But, even for my family, I would never have left you to face that alone. I never thought I would leave you pregnant.’

  * * *

  Faith recognised the sincerity. She hadn’t imagined a child either or she would have asked for a morning after pill when she’d r
ecovered from Raimondo’s departure.

  Thank goodness she hadn’t or she wouldn’t have her darling Chloe.

  But Chloe was now a part of Raimondo’s family and she’d better at least try to understand the Salvanellis to help her daughter when her time came to meet them.

  ‘Tell me about your family.’

  He looked struck by the suggestion. Then he said softly with wry humour as he held her gaze, ‘Chloe’s other family?’

  ‘So it seems,’ she said and tried to ignore the fission of fear that raised the hairs on her arms.

  ‘One day.’ No. She wouldn’t lose her daughter to them as she had lost Raimondo when his family demanded his return. Nobody could demand Chloe did anything. ‘But I do want to know why you didn’t feel as if you deserved the happiness we so briefly found together.’ They hadn’t spoken of his family much at all back then.

  ‘It is fair that you know of my family. Where to begin? Dominico, my brother, is ten minutes older, and with me was sent to live with our grandfather after the loss of our parents. That loss left nothing to soften the already stern man who was my nonno. Like our father before us, we studied medicine, despite a lack of enthusiasm from our grandfather, because neither of us had a passion for the business he loved. My brother took over the running of the business when my grandfather became ill. I am grateful to him for that.’

  There was a lot there he wasn’t saying but she got the general idea. Not the ideal childhood but she’d had loss in her life too, even though it had been later. ‘No grandmother on the scene?’

  ‘Gone at my father’s birth. Our grandfather’s estate was a loveless home, despite the beauty of Florence. Though that altered when Dominico found Teresa.’

  She watched his face transform and had a sudden wish that she could have met this Teresa.

  ‘Teresa brought joy,’ Raimondo went on, but there was sadness in his voice. ‘Soon their son arrived to liven their villa. Finally, my grandfather could relax, my brother was happy, I could stop feeling guilty that I was still furthering my career in medicine and not marrying. Now the family business was secure with two generations of sons to pass it down to.’

  ‘Your brother and his wife were happy?’

  ‘Indeed. Too brief happiness. Again, tragedy struck. We are not blessed with luck.’ He stopped for a moment and she saw the shadow of that time as it passed through his mind.

  ‘Not long before I came to Australia for business meetings, and met you, Teresa and my brother’s son were killed in a hot-air balloon ride. Broken, my brother withdrew from everyone. I had to travel for the business—the Sydney trip already had been arranged—and suddenly it was back to me to ensure the line when my grandfather became terminally ill. But first I needed to complete the trip to Australia my brother wanted to cancel.’

  ‘And you met me.’

  ‘Sì.’ His voice dropped and she almost missed the words as he spoke them more to himself. ‘My Australian wildflower.’

  She remembered he’d called her that. Faith felt the sting behind her eyes, the tightness in her throat, and chewed the inside of her top lip as she struggled to push it all back. This was too important to lose in an emotional blowout. One she’d dealt with years ago and locked securely behind iron gates inside her soul.

  Hopefully he missed her struggle as he looked within himself to the painful past. ‘You must understand my grandfather’s whole world was centred on the pharmaceutical company he’d built. That it must stay in the Salvanelli family. Now, suddenly, my grandfather had days to live. My brother struggled with his demands and called me to come at once—so I went.’

  She remembered his sudden departure. The first available flight arranged. The rush.

  He looked up and sighed. ‘The marriage between Maria and I had been spoken of for a long time and I had resisted. Both my promised wife and I had opposed the match. But my grandfather had so little time, and her father agreed, and it was either I wed the woman he wished or my brother could be persuaded into wedding Maria, and there was no marriage he could face, still grieving for his wife and son. I could feel his pain and would not ask it of him.’

  Tough love. She could see his dilemma. And even why he hadn’t explained the whole of it when he’d left.

  But that was almost six years ago and he’d been free for a while. If she’d been his Australian wildflower, why hadn’t he come back to see if what they’d had been real when he had the chance?

  She quashed that bitterness. Needed to remember she had let it go a long while past.

  But she couldn’t help wondering what would happen if his brother called again. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to expect him not to go instantly if he needed him, but what if Chloe was the one left heartbroken—what then?

  ‘You didn’t think to come back when the marriage was annulled?’

  His heavy sigh lowered his shoulders until he straightened and faced her. ‘Who was I to ruin your life again? I had no doubt you would have moved on without me. What we had was a few days on the other side of the world and you were young and not bitter with life like I had become.’

  That was true. She had moved on. And she hadn’t become bitter. Just thankful for her daughter and occasionally nostalgic for a man who could have been a big part of her life but had told her he would never be back.

  She’d made the break he’d told her was permanent.

  Raimondo went on. ‘I believed you were better without me. Vibrant and passionate about your work. You gave me that. After Maria left I found an area in my work that brought me great satisfaction.’ He met her gaze and held it. ‘Until someone spoke of you, and your Lighthouse Bay...’ a pause ‘...and your daughter—and suddenly there was nothing that was more important than coming here to see.’

  At least the mention of the Bay had jogged him at last. He’d remembered them. ‘And here you are.’ There was no mistaking the hint of dryness in her tone.

  ‘Sì. Here I am.’

  Yes. Here stood the major concern. He was very capable of wreaking more havoc. She’d only have to remember the response her body made when he was near. Let alone if he turned the full force of his Italian gallantry and accomplishments her way. Plus, she suspected he had a depth of purpose and strong will he wasn’t showing her.

  Well, she had that too.

  She lifted her head. ‘Did you come with plans, Raimondo?’

  She watched him blink at her direct question. ‘If you are here for Chloe’s birthday, are you leaving, never to come back again after this week?’

  She shrugged as if unable to know what to believe, but all the time her eyes remained on his. ‘No evasion, please. Is she to look for Christmas and birthday cards? Or are you hoping for more?’

  He stared at her.

  Well he might, but she was deadly serious.

  Black widow serious.

  She would protect her daughter from his charm if necessary. To the death. Nothing in his explanation said he wouldn’t leave them suddenly if called.

  Now, while Chloe was asleep, they needed to get this sorted and labelled for what it was.

  ‘I understand your concern. You have become a strong woman, Faith.’

  Pointless flattery. ‘I’ve needed to be.’

  ‘I have never lied to you.’

  Bully for him. ‘I’ve never lied either.’ She raised one brow. ‘So don’t lie now.’

  His turn to lift his chin and she saw the narrowing of his eyes, the implacable set to his chin, and now she could see the man he’d become. Perhaps he wouldn’t run to do his family’s bidding quite so quickly this time, but she wasn’t sorry she’d pulled the tiger’s tail.

  Hopefully she hadn’t set in motion the whole attack mode response but he needed to know she was on her guard.

  He leaned forward and it was as if he’d flipped a switch because in his eyes shone the force of his persona
lity she’d suspected might be shaded.

  Whoa.

  Where had he been concealing this man?

  His dark eyes glittered and his sensual mouth flattened into a straight line. ‘Yes, I have plans. I did not come with them but after seeing you at the cave yesterday, hearing your story, I lay awake and dreamed of the future. Of what could be. Of the possibilities before all of us.

  ‘Not just showing my daughter her Italian family and the world she needs to be now aware of.’ His voice was deep. Clipped. Belying the fierce emotion in his eyes. ‘I will do what needs to be done to achieve that dream. And other dreams.’

  A little more of the strong guy than she needed. But she’d dealt with stressed dads before in the labour ward and she knew where she was going with this. Her end goal. ‘Without pain to Chloe?’

  He looked at her and then, miraculously, his eyes softened. Even held a glint of admiration. ‘Correct. I agree. She is the most important part of the equation.’

  ‘Thank you. More important than you. More important than me.’ She sat back and he followed suit. ‘That was the point I was trying to make.’

  He measured her with an assessing look. ‘I can see that now. I will not underestimate you again.’

  Well, that wasn’t quite what she’d been hoping for but she might as well get the answers she needed.

  ‘And your immediate plans?’

  He blew out his breath but in his eyes there was a definite admiration for her. The glint of a smile. The hint of a challenge. ‘Three things. I would like to be here for Chloe’s birthday. Be a part of her celebration.’

  She nodded. That was easy. She’d already agreed.

  ‘I would like to be allowed to buy her a gift.’

  Again, Faith nodded. Chloe would be happy with that. And she was only five so he couldn’t spend too much on her. ‘As long as you don’t buy her a house, the gift is fine.’