Myths and Gargoyles

by Jamie Hawke

  “No, he’s right.” Elisa stood, taking a scone for the road. “Let’s get to it.”

  I was eager, so popped right up, glancing around. “You have a dojo, tennis courts we’ll train in or something? What?”

  “We’re not training here,” she said with a grin.

  “Oh, I just figured…?”

  “No, this is my home but also a safe house. Set up like a fortress, it’s the most secure, but hasn’t been made into the type of training environment you need. You’re going to like this.”

  “What?” I asked. “Where?”

  “Come on, the car should be waiting.” She was already heading for the door, Pucky standing up ready to follow while Red took her time.

  “You all really aren’t going to tell me?” I asked.

  All three shared a look, smiled, and Elisa said, “Nope.”

  We drove for some time, soon hitting traffic but going off onto the side roads and zooming around streets I didn’t recognize. I was pretty clueless, until I saw the Hollywood sign and realized we were in Los Angeles.

  “Why here?” I asked. Not that I was opposed to the city, but rarely had a reason to come this far north.

  “The real question,” Red said, gesturing out the window as we drove onto a movie studio, then past security for her dramatic pause, “is why here.”

  “Fine, yes, this is even more confusing. Are you going to answer?”

  She grinned, the other two very amused by it all. Finally, Elisa leaned forward, a hand on my leg, and pointed to one of the large, square buildings. “That stage is where we’ll be doing a lot of your training.”

  “On a film stage?” I wasn’t sure if they were messing with me, but loved the idea. The practicality of it was also confusing, but I was open. Hell, the awesome HQ we’d stopped by wore a costume, so why not this.

  We parked next to it and started for the entrance, my eyes drawn to several movie stars who I definitely recognized, but couldn’t quite place. The type that were always showing up in movies but weren’t quite big enough to be household names. One or two nodded back, and Pucky said they were Myths.

  “Here’s the thing with movie studios,” Elisa said, opening the door to our training facility. “You think they could really do half the special effects they have without some form of magic? No way. I saw Avatar, and could point to the exact moments where magic was necessary. Not magic in that they really made islands float, but magic to get the technology where it needed to be.”

  I entered the stage and stared in awe at all manner of movie sets set up in a sort of obstacle course, along with several people that I guessed were stuntmen, lined up with various kinds of weapons.

  “Stations,” Red explained. “You’ll run through the obstacle course, going through various simulated experiences, some of which you’ll recognize from movies like Raiders, using actual set pieces.”

  “Thought you’d like that,” Pucky said, beaming.

  “Yeah yeah, it was her idea,” Red admitted.

  “And then fight those guys?” I asked.

  “Train with them,” Red corrected me. “Keep that in mind—everyone is here to make you be the best you can be. You’re only fighting your inner voice that wants you to quit.”

  “Is that so?” I asked, chuckling. “Okay, so what next? When do you start yelling and telling me that pain is weakness leaving the body, and all that?”

  She gave me a humored smile, then said, “None of that. Just… try to keep up.”

  Without another word or even pausing to stretch, she was off, Pucky letting out a whoop and going after her, Elisa motioning for me to get going.

  “I’m observing, this time,” she explained. “And right now, you’re falling behind.”

  19

  Red and Pucky already had a head start, and I really had no idea what I was doing. The obstacle course was in three levels, set up along the walls of the stage—basically a hangar-like structure—complete with what looked like a jungle, buildings, and even a water tank.

  “Today,” Red said, pausing at the edge of the jungle section, then leaping to grab hold of a tree branch and using it to swing up to the next section.

  I tried it, and the damn branch tore at my hands, my swing not high enough.

  “Shit,” I yelled, landing on my back with a thud. First part of the course, and already I was gasping for breath, the wind knocked out of me.

  “This is going to be a long day,” Elisa shouted. “Get up, buttercup.”

  “As you fucking wish,” I finally said. I was trying for sarcastic but it came out more like a wheeze. Then I was up on my feet again, and found another route up to the next ledge, using a rock and tree trunk that I could jump off from, American Ninja-style. I’d watched that show with my mom enough times to get a basic idea about some of this stuff. It’d been her favorite show when I was young. She was always trying to encourage me to go be a stuntman, because she’d played around with that field of work once… a long time ago. If she could only see me now.

  “Pucky’s almost to the next round,” Red called out, appearing on another ledge that was made to look like the top of a short cliff. I grabbed a rope disguised as a vine, and climbed.

  At the top, a burst of white feathers came at me and I nearly fell back, but ducked and was able to roll forward to avoid what I saw seconds later were the images of swans.

  “Not fair,” I shouted down to Elisa.

  “We’re trying to train you to go up against evil in its rawest form,” she countered. “If a few swans scare you, then we’ve got bigger problems.”

  “Hardy-har,” I mumbled, and saw Red disappearing into a dark cave ahead.

  Entering after her, I saw where the magic part came in. They hadn’t wanted it out in the open, I guessed, because who knows who could wander into the studio. But in this section of the course, they had all sorts of monsters from movies I’d seen. Inside the cave an illusion made the ceiling appear to be open sky. A dragon swooped by, and to my left a creature with eyes on its hands instead of its face was running for me. Creepy as hell, but not as bad as the stupid doll with the knife. All of this was familiar, though the only ones I could easily place were the Rodents of Unusual Size that leaped for me as I sprinted through a swamp-like area. ROUSs, as they were called in the Princess Bride, meant there might also be quicksand and spurts of fire, I remembered, since my dad had watched the movie with me at least a hundred times. Sure enough, a spurt of fire sprang up and I dodged, wondering if they were testing me on my knowledge of film as much as my skills.

  The obstacle course kept on like this. As I plunged into the water tank a mershark suddenly appeared out of the depths but it didn’t actually try to eat my head, much to my relief—as there was no way I’d be able to outswim that thing. Struggling on, I reached a building which promptly burst into flames, it seemed, while around me other buildings were blowing up. I had to escape all that, staying low from the smoke, paying attention to trip wires and ticking, and soon enough I was out, gasping for breath and totally exhausted.

  “Now weapons,” Red said, indicating the various trainers. “And then back in there again.”

  “Fuck… me. Are you serious?”

  “Jack—”

  “I know, I know. Evil and all that.” I stood, hands up behind my head, and said, “Okay, give me a sword.”

  “Not yet,” she replied with a grin, motioning toward a large lady in a wrestling outfit. “First, takedowns and joint locks. Evasive maneuvers and the like.”

  Pucky was leaning against the opposite wall, trying to hold back a laugh.

  “Piss break?” I asked.

  “Not until you finish another round. What, you’re going to stop in the middle of battle and take a piss? I don’t think so.”

  I groaned, figuring I could hold it but not wanting to, and stepped in with this lady that in my head I called Gertrude. Needless to say, she threw me around like a sock full of quarters. Wham! On the mat. Bam! On the mat again. But it wasn’t
all abuse—she showed me how to throw people over my hips and other defensive techniques I’d seen in movies.

  When it came time to use the sword, I could barely hold onto the wooden one they gave me, and was disarmed at least four or five times.

  And on and on it went, with Elisa taking notes and giving me her thoughts on what I should level up the next time I had prana, and what sort of skills I might want with the Ichor to offset my weaknesses.

  Finally I went back through the course, got a chance to take a break, then went to take a piss. Every muscle felt cramped and battered, and when I went to pull my dick out at the urinal, even my finger cramped and made it hard to do.

  But man, that piss felt like a thousand tiny angels as they escaped my bladder and danced their way into the urinal.

  “You always make so much noise when peeing?” Pucky said, walking up behind me and giving me a slap on the ass.

  “Oye,” I said, glancing around, only then realizing it was likely a unisex bathroom. “I didn’t realize I was making a sound.”

  “Dude, you were moaning louder than when you came last time.”

  “I had to piss. What can I say?”

  She laughed, then entered a stall and said, “Get out, before you hear my tinkling. Seriously.”

  I chuckled, but when she cleared her throat I quickly shook and got out of there, washing my hands on the way and then going to find water. They had some bottles set up, and Red joined me.

  “You’re really not doing bad out there,” she said. “You know, for your first day.”

  “I’m just glad it’s over,” I said, finishing the water and looking for another.

  “Over?” she laughed. “We’re doing this all day, buddy.”

  “The hell we are,” I said, then frowned. Dammit, based on the serious look in her eyes, she hadn’t been joking. “Whatever happened to working into it slowly? Avoiding injury and all that.”

  She shrugged. “That’s for wusses, not the one and only Protector.”

  “Fair point,” I said, standing. “Then let’s get on with it. No use sitting around wasting time.”

  She raised an eyebrow, chuckled and then followed me back over to the course. Pucky emerged from the bathroom a second later, and I called out to her, “Better hurry, slowpoke,” and then darted into the course, hoping to make a better go of it this time around.

  True to Red’s word, we ran through several more times, our breaks in the form of weapons training, such as knives and even a bit with a pistol, and bow and arrow.

  When it was finally over that night and we got back to the mansion, Pucky helped me walk to bed, my legs like jelly, and then I pulled her down with me.

  She giggled, seeming to think I was going to try something, but I rolled over, my head against her breasts, and without even realizing it was out for the night. Damn comfy pillows though.

  20

  The second day was more of the same, though my warrior class was helping me learn fast at the sword-fighting station. My instructor still kicked my ass, naturally, but at least I only had my sword knocked out of my hands once, and even got in a kill of my own toward the end. Elisa brought her workout shorts and sports bra, joining in for the obstacle course this time, and she gave me a run for my money.

  I still couldn’t believe we were doing this at a stage on a movie studio lot, which was funny in itself, considering how much else there was for me to have a hard time believing.

  As fun as it all was, when we were finished and back home for dinner, I was exhausted and ready to stuff my face. Definitely not as exhausted as the first night, as my leveling up was apparently helping my body recover faster, or maybe it was the food.

  Elisa had a chef prepare a pesto-based chicken breast meal, complete with broccoli and spinach, for optimal muscle growth and rejuvenation. To my surprise, it was actually quite delicious, reminding me of my dad’s cooking growing up, when he hadn’t been too busy with late nights at the bank.

  Eating here, laughing and reminiscing over the day with my new team, I started to wonder how my family was doing. Regardless of what these ladies told me about my new life, at some point I’d have to check in on my parents. There was no way I would let anyone tell me otherwise. Toward the end of the meal, we had a quick check-in with Mowgli via video conference on a screen toward the back of the dining room, but nothing concrete had been uncovered yet.

  We finished our meals and the call, and were all pretty much ready to crash for the night. Or so I thought. Red and Pucky stood to retire to their beds, and I had just started to push my chair back.

  “Stay,” Elisa said, and the other two shared an exhausted look. “Not you two, if you don’t want to. But… I’d like to speak with Jack some more.”

  “Knock yourself out,” Red said, wandering off, and Pucky went too, muttering something about needing rest. I felt the same as her, but stayed partly because I was curious, and partly because I didn’t want to appear rude.

  “Yeah?” I asked when they finally left.

  Elisa gave me a smile, watching me. It was starting to get awkward, so I sipped the last of my water, then waited.

  “Our Protector,” she said, finally. “How does it feel?”

  “Painful,” I admitted. “But amazing.”

  “And that’s going to be the rest of your life, you realize? Painful, but amazing.” She let that sink in, then stood and approached, putting her hands on my shoulders. Her touch melted me, and as she started massaging my shoulders, I wondered how I could do anything but float away.

  “I’m one of the few originals, you know?” Elisa said. “Red, too.”

  “I wasn’t sure,” I muttered, nearly lost in sleep.

  “There are descendants, like Pucky, and then there are those who earn the role, similar to you with being a Protector.”

  That piqued my interest. “Meaning someone could actually become, I don’t know, the Mad Hatter?”

  “In theory, but they’d have to be quite mad, and that role would have to be vacant. It isn’t—the Mad Hatter is locked away in one of our Legend prisons, and will likely never see the light of day again. The thing is, when a Myth or Legend is killed off, that side wants them back, right? But it’s not up to them. Let’s say Red were to die someday, but some girl—or boy, for that matter—was lost out in the woods and attacked by the big bad wolf, but survived. They might end up becoming the new Red, although there are more factors than that at play.”

  “So you can’t take someone and train them, make them become someone?”

  She paused in her massage, apparently thinking through that question. “It has happened, actually. The one they call Jiminy, now, was not the original guide. This one was brought in because of his intelligence, his way with strategy, and yes, he became the role. It’s very rare though, and at that point it’s up to the Ichor choosing you.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

  She went back to the massage, and said, “I wanted you to know who I am, is all. I really do knit shirts from thorns, as you can see,” she held her hands out, and for the first time I saw how scarred they were, rough even, in a way that completely stood out from the gentle grace that was the rest of her. “They grant magic powers. My brothers, some of them are still around, but not all. I could, in theory, try to train someone to become one of these swans, to take on the powers… but it isn’t necessary. Of the three true brothers who remain, I’m not sure any of them would like the idea.”

  “Original,” I said, thinking out loud. “Making you…?”

  “A tad older than yourself,” she said, moving the massage to my neck. “But not at heart.”

  I chuckled at that, and she patted my shoulders. “Come, are you ready?”

  After hearing that several times that day already, my mind instantly went to more training. “No,” I groaned. “I can’t handle any more. My body—”

  “You misunderstand,” she interrupted me. “We’d talked about painting each other. I know I said afte
r, but… seeing you these last couple of days, I’ve changed my mind. With you like this, exhausted but excited—that’s what I want to capture. And you?” She pulled at the top of her shirt so that there was no chance of me not catching on. “Would you still like to paint me?”

  Odd, how a bit of skin can totally erase one’s exhaustion. That’s what happened at that moment, and I before I knew it I was following her to the room where Pucky was already asleep. She had her own room, but I had to assume this was comfortable for her or held some other attachment, or why else fall asleep on this bed? It’s where she had the cupboard for her paints, and where she stood in the moonlight of the full window and undressed, this time completely.

  When she stood there in front of me, moonlight casting a deep shadow between her legs and across her breasts, I wanted her, badly. A glance back showed Pucky still asleep, and I wondered what she’d think of that. She had no problem before, though that was something else, for sure.

  Elisa licked her lips, nodded to me, and I pulled off my clothes too, glad to be free of them and, oddly, not self-conscious at all. With all the training and the experience we’d already shared, a couple of days had started to feel like a lifetime.

  A heavy breath came from her, chest expanding as she ran her hand along her stomach, stopping at her other arm, and I realized, somehow, that she felt self-conscious! The idea that his beautiful woman should somehow be shy around me was baffling, but then I caught on. When the paints were involved, it was art. Her hands, although she’d shown them to me, were now turned away like she was trying to hide them.

  I walked over, took a canvas, and placed it on one of the easels. That seemed to put her somewhat at ease. She did the same. The golden hair between her legs caught the moonlight, and I started there. Where else? It wasn’t like the painting needed foreplay, after all. Taking gold and then silver, I began to capture her as I saw her then, in the moonlight, not worrying about natural colors, but focused on recreating the beauty that was her in that moment.