Find the Girl

by Lucy Connell

  ‘You’re on a football team?’ I ask, impressed. ‘I didn’t know that.’

  ‘I didn’t know you were a photographer.’ She grins as I blush to my roots. ‘I saw that book on your bed at lunchtime, filled with all those shots of beaches and fields and a few of that hot boyfriend of yours. Is photography a hobby? Because some of those pictures were really cool.’

  ‘Grace!’ Jordan calls out, coming over to us with James before I can answer her. ‘Thanks so much for putting an end to all that stupid bickering.’

  She smiles back at him. ‘Thank you for winning over the crowd,’ she says. ‘I think we could really do with a party. You’re right, it’s weird that we haven’t all hung out together.’

  ‘So, you’re coming?’ James asks hopefully, his eyes lighting up.

  ‘Course! We’re in the same block, so it’s hardly an inconvenience.’

  Jordan’s eyes reluctantly flicker to me. ‘What about you, Nina?’

  I really, REALLY wish he hadn’t asked.

  ‘I can’t. I have something on.’

  ‘Aw, can’t you cancel?’ Grace pleads. ‘This is the first party we’re having and probably the last, knowing how hard everyone here usually works at the weekend.’

  ‘Let me guess,’ Jordan says, ‘you’re going to a celebrity party?’

  They all look at me. I can’t lie. There’s no point. It will be all over social media as soon as I arrive there with Chase.

  ‘Actually, it is. But I’d much rather be at this party.’

  ‘Then come to our party,’ Jordan says. ‘It’s simple, Nina: don’t go to the celebrity party, come to the Guildhall party with people you’re supposed to be working with. It’s not like you HAVE to go to that one. You’d just rather spend the evening with attention-seeking Z-listers than us.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ I say quietly.

  I can’t expand on it because otherwise I’d have to tell them why it’s so important to me to go to this party. I’d have to tell them that it feels like Chase and I have barely spoken this week and that every time we get the opportunity to be together it’s precious. If I go to a different party tonight, then I won’t see Chase all weekend. And who knows if I’ll see him next week? Or the week after? We seem to be struggling to fit in phone calls, let alone meeting face-to-face.

  But I meant it when I said I’d rather be at the Guildhall party. This course is so important to me and I don’t want to miss out.

  ‘I have to go to this party with Chase,’ I repeat, thinking up a solution. ‘But only for a bit. I’ll show my face and then come join you at yours.’

  Grace’s eyes light up. ‘Really? That would be so great!’

  Even Jordan looks mildly impressed at my compromise, but then shakes his head.

  ‘I’ll believe it when I see it,’ he says, before heading towards the door. ‘We had better go get ready. See you at the party, Grace.’

  ‘Bye, Grace,’ James adds, looking a little flustered before following his friend, tripping over his feet as he goes.

  ‘You’re really going to come?’ Grace asks when they’ve left. ‘Because you can’t expect me to put up with Jordan all night without having you there to roll my eyes at whenever he says something stupid.’

  ‘I promise I’ll be there.’ I laugh, linking my arm through hers. ‘I’ll text you when I’m on my way. And, for what it’s worth, I think James has a little crush on you. Also, Jordan was genuinely impressed by your handling of the situation just now. So maybe tonight he’ll be pleasant to you and it won’t be so bad.’

  ‘Maybe. Miracles do happen,’ she says, laughing as we head outside to walk back to our halls. ‘And, if you want my opinion, I think he’s pleased that you’re going to show up this evening. Even though he won’t admit it, I think deep down he respects you as a pianist.’

  ‘Deep, deep down.’

  ‘Deep, deep, deep down,’ she says.

  We burst out laughing again, but as we turn the corner I stop in my tracks. Dad is standing a few metres away, leaning against the wall and typing on his phone.

  ‘You OK?’ Grace asks, following my line of gaze. ‘Who is that?’

  ‘My dad.’

  She looks at him and then back at me. ‘And … that’s a bad thing?’

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Dad looks up from his phone and spots me, a smile spreading across his face as he shoves his phone in his pocket and walks towards us.

  ‘Hi, Nina,’ he says, before holding out his hand to Grace. ‘Hello, I’m Nina’s dad. Are you on Nina’s course?’

  ‘Yeah, I’m Grace. Nice to meet you.’ She looks to me for instruction but I don’t know what to do so she decides to improvise. ‘Nina, I’ll … shall I meet you back at our room?’

  I hesitate and then nod.

  ‘See you in a bit. Call if you need,’ she says, heading off down the road and leaving us to it.

  ‘I thought we could go for dinner,’ Dad says hopefully.

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Oh.’ He stares at his shoes. ‘All right.’

  ‘I have … It’s a party,’ I explain, my whole body tense. ‘A music label is throwing it. I’m going with Chase.’

  ‘No, no,’ he says hurriedly with a bright smile. ‘It sounds brilliant. An excellent networking opportunity, you should absolutely go. I should have known you’d be busy. It was a long shot.’ He looks at his watch. ‘How about a drink before you have to go? There’s a nice little cafe around here. We could go and grab a hot chocolate. It used to be your favourite.’

  I smile. ‘It still is.’

  ‘I thought as much.’ He grins. ‘How about it?’

  I hesitate. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. I wish Nancy was here. She always knows what to do.

  ‘That would be nice,’ I say.

  ‘Brilliant!’ he exclaims. ‘Let’s go – it’s not far.’

  ‘I should give Nancy a call though.’ I pull my phone out of my pocket. ‘She’s on her way to London for the party. She was going to get her train around now. So we could wait and then all go together. Nancy and I can make our way to the party afterwards.’

  Dad shifts uncomfortably. ‘I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘You say she’s just getting the train now?’

  ‘I don’t know, I can’t remember. She may already be on it.’

  ‘Even so … it’s a long way from Norwich, a couple of hours at least, and by the time she got here you’d probably have to leave.

  I think Nancy may also need a bit more time getting used to the idea of me again and I don’t want to waste this opportunity, while she thinks about it, to spend time with you and hear all about your music course. I want to do this all together, but I don’t think Nancy is ready yet. Maybe it’s best that we just keep it us two for now.’

  I know he’s right. It will take Nancy hours to get here, by which point we’d have to leave, and he’s right that she’d not want to go for hot chocolate with him anyway. I know all this. But I still wish she was here. I put my phone back in my pocket.

  ‘Lead the way.’

  ‘Jordan sounds like a character!’ Dad chuckles, reaching for a napkin. ‘Some of the things he says sound outrageous. Not that it surprises me that he’s trying to chip away at your confidence bit by bit. Self-doubt is a sure way to failure and the music industry is a competitive world.’

  ‘I’m only just discovering that,’ I say. I sigh, leaning back in my chair.

  I’m glad that the cafe Dad chose is different to the one Chase and I got photographed in. I don’t trust that place any more. This one is really fancy and Dad had spoken to one of the staff as soon as we walked in, making sure we got a table where we couldn’t be photographed.

  ‘This is great,’ I’d said, sitting at the table and noticing it was away from the crowds and hidden from view. ‘What did you tell them?’

  ‘That, in case they didn’t not
ice, I was with THE Nina Palmer, the famous musician, and we didn’t want any fans of you or Chasing Chords taking pictures of us stuffing our faces with pastries,’ he’d said, and then he had grinned, making me laugh.

  Since we sat down, time has flown. At first, the conversation was a bit stilted as I felt so weird being here, having a hot chocolate with my dad. My dad. But thankfully he’s better at this sort of thing than me and he started talking about music, which meant the conversation just started flowing because it was something we are both passionate about. We’d got on to the subject of Guildhall and I’d ended up telling him everything about how terrible I was at performing, my stage fright, the showcase and, of course, Jordan’s constant jibes.

  ‘When I applied for the course, I didn’t even think about the other people who’d be on it with me. It didn’t come into my brain that they might resent me because I was dating a pop star.’ I shake my head. ‘It seems stupid now.’

  He smiles. ‘No, it doesn’t. Unfortunately, not everyone is as nice and trustworthy as you are. You’re going to have to harden that shell if you’re going to make it.’

  ‘I don’t know. Maybe this course is a way of life telling me that I’m not cut out to be a musician, that I don’t have it in me.’

  ‘You don’t really believe that, do you?’

  ‘It’s crossed my mind.’ I shrug. ‘If there are people like Jordan out there, I don’t stand a chance. I’m not even close to his standard.’

  ‘Nina, you’re looking at this all wrong,’ Dad says, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. ‘I’m glad someone like Jordan is on this course. It’s good motivation for you. There’s nothing like a bit of competition. That’s how I grew my PR business. When my old company didn’t work out, my ex-business partner started doing really well, which helped spur me on to work harder, be more ambitious – and what do you know? My business grew at double the pace and, in the end, a lot of his clients started working with me. His success gave me the motivation I needed not to give up.’

  ‘Wow, that’s amazing. I always wondered how you started your business.’

  ‘Yes. It was hard work and, obviously, its success came at a cost …’

  He looks upset as his sentence fizzles out, and I don’t know whether to say something. I can’t tell him he’s wrong, because that would be a lie. But I also don’t want us to have a miserable time because I’ll need to leave soon to get ready for the party. I think about how to comfort him, but in the end he doesn’t need me to. He suddenly clears his throat and his expression brightens.

  ‘Anyway, enough about me. I’m interested in you and this dazzling career of yours!’

  My cheeks burn at his praise. ‘No, don’t be silly.’

  ‘Nina, why don’t you believe in yourself? You always used to hide behind Nancy. You’re a very talented young woman and I have witnessed that. Thousands of people have seen it for themselves, when you played alongside Chase.’

  ‘You’re wrong. I’m not that talented, not compared to the other students. I’ve dreamt my whole life of training at Guildhall and here I am, getting a taster of what it might be like, a chance to impress future teachers, and I’m failing.’

  ‘Time to start succeeding then,’ Dad says simply.

  ‘You make it sound easy.’

  ‘And you make it sound unachievable,’ he retorts, with a knowing smile. ‘I know you can do this, Nina. Everyone does. That’s what’s making Jordan scared.’

  ‘Believe me, Jordan is –’

  ‘Quivering in his little boots,’ Dad finishes.

  I laugh. ‘Why would he be scared?’

  ‘Because you’re better than him. Maybe not technically, but that can be taught. What you can’t teach is whatever it is you have. Natural talent. You’re entrancing when you play. Jordan, I can tell from the little you’ve told me of him, is not. He’s a good pianist, I’m sure, but he won’t sell albums and he won’t top charts. You, on the other hand, will. I’ve always known that. What do Chase’s record label have to say about you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘You must have spoken to them. Have they noticed your potential? Have you had any meetings at all?’

  I shake my head, trying to work out if he’s joking or not.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I … I don’t know. Why would they want to have meetings with me?’

  ‘Nina,’ he says, rolling his eyes, ‘have you heard anything I’ve said today? You’ll have to invite them to your showcase.’

  ‘Chase’s management team? WHY would they want to come to my Guildhall showcase?’

  ‘So they can see how talented you are and then sign you,’ he explains, before getting a waiter’s attention and ordering another espresso.

  ‘Now,’ he continues, ‘have you got a manager?’

  I’m so taken aback that I choke as I sip my hot chocolate, coughing and spluttering so much that my eyes water.

  ‘Did you say a manager?’ I wheeze.

  ‘That’s exactly what I said.’

  ‘No, I don’t.’

  He nods thoughtfully, placing his hands together in his lap.

  ‘I could be your manager, if you like,’ he suggests.

  ‘B-but I thought you were in PR,’ I stammer, bowled over by this whole conversation. ‘And, anyway, why would I need a manager?’

  ‘Being in my line of work has many transferable skills and I’ve always thought I’d be good at music management. It essentially combines my two passions: talent and business,’ he says, slowly tasting his espresso. He adds a sugar lump and stirs. ‘Nina, you are in an excellent position right now. You’ve got incredible contacts. For example, this party tonight. Think of the people who will be there. Some of the most powerful in the business and they’ll all know who you are. You’re dating Chase Hunter and you’re one to watch as you happen to have a place on an acclaimed music course. You just need guidance.’

  ‘And … you want to guide me?’

  ‘I want you to think about it. Whether you realize it or not, you’re embarking on a career. That YouTube video was only the start, but things like that get forgotten if you don’t make good use of them. It might be handy for you to have someone looking out for you.’

  ‘Right. Thanks.’

  He smiles broadly at me. ‘I truly believe that you can beat that Jordan person. You know what the best revenge is?’

  ‘Shutting his fingers in the piano lid?’

  He laughs. ‘Not bad. But I was thinking of something else. The best revenge on Jordan would be for you to win the showcase, get signed and sell a million records before he’s even finished his performance. But we need to work out how to get you to stand out. I’ll have a think.’

  He finishes his espresso and asks for the bill, checking the time.

  ‘You need to head off if you’re going to get to your party.’

  ‘Yeah, I should go. Thanks for all your advice. It’s been really good to talk about it. I haven’t really been able to with anyone else,’ I admit.

  ‘It’s an honour. I’m proud of you, Nina.’

  Tears fill my eyes. I try to blink them back but I can’t, and one falls down my cheek.

  ‘Are you OK? Did I say something wrong?’ he asks in a panic.

  ‘No, no. The opposite,’ I say, wiping the tear away with my sleeve. ‘I always wanted you to be proud of me.’

  ‘Don’t you remember what I told the lady in that piano shop all those years ago?’ he says, reaching out and taking my hand. ‘I said, “This is Nina and –”’

  He looks at me encouragingly, his eyes twinkling. We finish the sentence together.

  ‘“She’s going to be a big star some day.”’

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Nancy

  As the taxi draws up to the party, I feel a gigantic, excited knot in my stomach.

  There is a red carpet leading up to the glass doors of the Emerald Entertainment building and at either side of it are hordes of photographers, ready t
o take pictures as guests arrive. I nervously check my outfit and then my make-up for the hundredth time. I wish I wasn’t alone, but I arranged to meet Miles at the party as there was no point in him coming to meet me at the train station. It would be easier for me to hop in a taxi and go straight there. I’d hoped to go with Nina because Guildhall is really near Liverpool Street station, but she wasn’t picking up her phone or answering any messages.

  Where is she? Her group practice finished ages ago and then she told me she’d be going back to her room to get ready. I didn’t want to hang around waiting for her at the station, in case she was already at the party, so I decided to make my own way here. But now, seeing all these photographers and a long red carpet, I totally regret that decision. I could really use someone’s arm to lean on.

  No, seriously, I actually need someone’s arm to lean on, because these heels are already killing me.

  I was sent them last term when my followers on social media were increasing so much that I got noticed by one of my favourite brands, Silhouette, and they sent these shoes as a gift to post on my Instagram. I wore them to the Chasing Chords secret gig – which turned out to be an important event in the end, because Nina and Chase met that night – and everybody said they looked amazing in my comments. That, I remembered. What I had conveniently forgotten was that by the end of the night I couldn’t feel my little toe and I had to wear blister plasters for days afterwards. Oh well, they look good.

  I have to admit, all of me looks good tonight. I’ve spent the entire day getting ready. Mum helped me pick out the perfect outfit, a black tuxedo minidress which looks amazing with my sea-blue heels. My hair is naturally poker straight, but I straightened it anyway and added perfectly matching extensions that I’d ordered online. I’d then swept it back into a high sleek ponytail, which was very satisfying to swish about as I walked. I’d gone for dramatic eye make-up to complete the look, with shimmering gold eyeshadow, dark eyeliner with a perfect feline flick and full fake eyelashes.

  Mum had taken a hundred photos on my phone and then I’d spent the two-hour train journey picking the best one, getting the filter just right, editing it and then posting it with a caption about going to the Emerald Entertainment party. As soon as I posted it, I got a phone call from Layla.