Xavier O’Brien

by Ingro, Jessica

  The short answer to that was no. The long answer would take too long to explain. I wanted to feel safe and I knew that I should, but something nagged at the back of my brain that this wasn’t the end of things. I didn’t want to let my guard down for fear it would mean me getting hurt again.

  “Yes. Xavier loves us and is protecting us.”

  “Xavier thinks he’s protecting you. All he’s doing is caging you in while at the same time making you a target for anyone who wants to hurt him.”

  “That isn’t true.”

  “But it is. I knew exactly where to look to find you when you weren’t at The Den. Anyone else can, too.”

  It would seem he had a fair point with that argument. I remembered questioning Xavier about it when he moved us in. His logic at the time was that people would assume his house and The Den were being watched, which meant they were less likely to try and get me again if I was at either location. It was when I wasn’t there that they would make another attempt. It was solid reasoning in my opinion.

  “He’s doing the best he can. He wouldn’t have told me he’d protect us if he couldn’t.” I believed that. Deep down in my gut I knew that no matter what I had said that night, he would have sent me away if he thought it was the right thing to do. With my bruises serving as a fresh reminder of the horrible things that happened to his sister, no way would he have kept Sophie and me with him if he couldn’t follow through.

  “And what if his best isn’t good enough?”

  “What is this really about, Marx? Are you trying to tell me that you think you can keep us safe?”

  “I know I can, if you’d let me.”

  “Xavier is doing just fine.” The words came out protective. All my worries and fears aside, I did not like anyone questioning Xavier’s capabilities and I would defend him until the death if need be.

  “Really? Then how come you never leave this place? How come he’s never with you? And how come you have circles under your eyes that tell me you probably haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks?”

  The look of disbelief that crossed my face had him giving me a look of triumph. How the hell did he know that much about the situation? Maybe I was a sitting duck as long as I was here.

  “You don’t know what it’s like… after… well… just after. Okay? It isn’t easy. The dreams. They’re… horrible. Having to relive it over and over again.”

  “Tell me about them.”

  I shook my head, but he wouldn’t let it go that easily. Taking my hand in his, he led me over to the island and held out a stool for me.

  “I don’t—” I began but he cut me off with his finger of my lips.

  “You need to tell me about them. I refuse to leave until you do.”

  With no other choice thanks to his grip on my arm urging me onto the stool, I sat down and stared unfocused at a spot over his shoulder for several minutes while he patiently waited for me to speak.

  “They’re always the same.” The words were low and hoarse as the vivid images played out in my mind.

  Marx sat down on the stool next to mine and took my right hand between both of his, giving me strength and warmth while inside I felt so cold.

  “Spencer’s on top of me. Inside me.” My voice broke on the words and tears instantly filled my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. The memories overwhelming me faster than I thought possible. “It hurts,” I whispered.

  In my dreams it always hurt. Physically. Emotionally. There’s no escaping it in the dark. “The pain is always excruciating. It presses in on me until I can’t breathe.”

  “It’s okay. He can’t hurt you now,” Marx whispered as his hand ran soothingly over my back trying to calm my trembling.

  “When he’s done, he finishes on me and I feel so dirty. It’s almost as if he’s covered my whole body with it even though I know that isn’t possible. As I’m crying and straining to get away, he takes the tip of his knife and runs it slowly along my neck. I can feel the blood pouring over my bare skin to pool on the bed. I start gasping for air the deeper he cuts. Just as I struggle for my last breaths, Sophie runs into the room and screams my name. And there’s nothing I can do but watch as he makes his way toward my baby. That’s when I usually wake up.”

  “Jesus,” he cursed. One of his hands leaving mine to rake angrily through his hair. “I could kill that sorry son of a bitch if he wasn’t already dead. You see that shit every night?”

  I shook my head and swiped at my tears. “Not every night.”

  “What does Xavier say about the dreams?”

  I looked away, not wanting him to see the truth. I had been struggling with my decision not to tell Xavier, but in the end I knew it was best not to worry him. Even if it meant he would finally spend time with me. I wanted him to spend time with me because there was nowhere else he wanted to be, not because he knew I was a basket case.

  “Look at me,” Marx demanded. I turned my head and focused on his mouth, not having the courage to look in his eyes. That’s why I noticed his jaw harden and his lips press into a tight line of disapproval.

  “Aurora,” he said softly, forcing my eyes to drift up to his. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you need to talk to Xavier. He deserves to know what is going on with you.”

  “You saw the way you just reacted and you don’t blame yourself for what happened to me. He does. He’ll never be able to handle knowing the shit that’s in my head. The guilt will kill him.”

  “You think I don’t blame myself in some way for this? Don’t think I haven’t wondered if any of this would have happened if I hadn’t let you stay here with him that night.”

  “Marx,” I whispered sadly. Coming off my stool, I wrapped my arms around him. His came around me, tightening when his head buried itself in my neck. We drank in each other’s comfort as regrets over the past threatened to drown us.

  Far sooner than I expected, Marx pulled away and let his hands drop to his sides. “I can’t be here in good faith knowing Xavier doesn’t have the whole story.”

  “What does that mean?” His words confused me. Why couldn’t he be there? It didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t as if I was the one who invited him over. He came of his own free will.

  Instead of immediately answering, Marx leaned over and cupped my cheek. His face dipped close to mine and his lips pressed a soft kiss on the side of my mouth. I had an irrational urge to turn into the kiss and take it someplace it should never go.

  Deep down I knew my reaction was due in part to my loneliness and fears of abandonment. Reliving my nightmares only furthered my despair. Add in the fact that the sexual chemistry between us had never died, and it was a recipe for disaster.

  Thank God Marx wasn’t a man to take advantage of that.

  “It means a man who is any man at all, doesn’t move in on someone’s territory unless that territory is being neglected. You, my dear, are neglecting yourself by not letting him take care of you. Talk to him. And if he falls down on the job after knowing all the facts, then I’ll be there. No questions asked.”

  Without another word, Marx stood and grabbed his coat, leaving me sitting there with my mouth hanging open. I wasn’t naïve enough to not understand that he had just thrown down against Xavier.

  For me.

  Oh God.

  What had I gotten myself into?

  Chapter Four

  I was in the bathroom washing my face when I heard the jingle of keys. Wearing nothing but my black lace bra and panties, I walked toward the bedroom and stood in the doorway while Xavier emptied his pockets onto his bedside table. His grey dress shirt stretched across the solid muscles in his back. His hair was longer than normal, curling at the ends around his collar. The material of his pants gripped his ass like they were made just for him—and maybe they were.

  He was in a word, beautiful. And he was mine, damn it. Blonde hussy be damned.

  Deciding to take control over the situation, I pushed off the doorjamb and headed his way. Sensing my pr
esence, he turned and faced me. His cold face warming as I drew near. It was the sign I needed to put my plan into action.

  “Hey.” His lips curled into a small grin and mine followed suit.

  “Hey.”

  “Where’s Sophie?”

  “Sleeping.” My hands went behind my back and unfastened the hooks of my bra.

  “It’s early,” he noted while watching my motions.

  Letting the material slowly and seductively fall from my breasts, I thrust my chest out, feeling my nipples harden under his gaze before hooking my thumbs in the sides of my panties. A small tug had them sliding down my legs where I stepped out of them and kicked them to the side.

  “Take me,” I whispered.

  “Where is this coming from?” His words came out harsh and gravelly as his eyes roamed my naked body like he was trying to take it all in and catalog it for future reference. I knew he liked what he saw. There was no denying it with the way his nostrils flared and his pants tented from his arousal. It was all I could do not to reach out and stroke him through the material.

  “I know about her. The blonde,” I explained without thought. I hadn’t planned on saying anything to him about what Candy had told me. It would seem my mouth had other things in mind.

  Guilt clouded his features for a split second before he cleared his expression. He looked at me blankly as if he didn’t know what I meant, but I had seen it. It was too late to plead ignorance. The sharp ache piercing my heart must have echoed on my face because his softened and he took a step toward me, his arm stretched out for me.

  My feet stumbled as I moved away from him and out of his reach. My right arm covered my naked breasts while I searched the floor for my discarded panties. This was a bad idea. If my conversation with Marx earlier in the day had told me anything, it was that I was damaged goods. No wonder why Xavier hadn’t touched me in weeks, choosing instead to seek pleasure from a stranger rather than the woman he supposedly loved.

  “Aurora.”

  “Don’t.” The word seemed tortured and small even to my own ears.

  “Listen to me, sweetheart,” he pleaded. Of their own accord my eyes snapped to his thanks to the use of the endearment he didn’t often give me, but that I loved just the same. “I didn’t touch her.”

  Hope bloomed in my chest at the same time my mouth snapped, “Right. And I’m supposed to believe that?”

  He grabbed my arm and tugged it away from my chest. His big body pressed into mine, pinning me against the wall. His hands circled my wrists and his thumbs massaged my palms. Even though I wanted to melt into him, I refused to give into those feelings, choosing rather to keep my body rigid as I stared at his ear instead of his eyes.

  “Look at me, baby,” he said softly.

  Oh so we’re back to baby? my mind criticized.

  “Aurora, please look at me. I swear to you I didn’t touch her.”

  I shifted my eyes to give him what he wanted. I expected to see cockiness or condescension in his, but all I saw was sincerity.

  “My dick hasn’t seen the inside of a pussy in weeks.”

  My jaw just about hit the floor at his brazen words and their meaning. Somehow I still managed to sputter out, “But Candy said—”

  “I don’t give a fuck what that lying cunt told you,” he spat angrily after learning who told me of his alleged indiscretion. “What we have is real. I’ve never felt this way before. I’m yours. My dick is yours. Why the fuck would I want something fake with someone else?”

  “But, I thought—”

  He cupped my chin and tilted my face so he could rest his forehead against mine. “I love you more than… just more, okay? I might make some really fucked up plays, baby, but I would never stick my cock inside another woman knowing what we have. Candy doesn’t know what the fuck she saw. All you have to do is ask me and I’ll always tell you the truth.”

  Tears of relief pooled in my eyes. It was these kind of vulnerable moments with him that let me know where I truly stood with him. And where it was, was exactly where I wanted to be.

  There was still one issue to contend with though.

  “Then why don’t you want me?” My eyes stayed wet even as a look of complete and utter disbelief crossed his face.

  “I always want you.”

  “But we haven’t since before…” I trailed off not needing to explain.

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to be here right now and not touch you?” He brought my hand down to his groin to show me how hard he in fact was. It felt so good to touch him again. I couldn’t help but squeeze his length, eliciting a groan from him. “You standing there at all, let alone naked, is fucking with me something fierce. All I want to do is fuck you into next week.”

  “Then do it. Please God just do it.” Commence begging. I needed not only to be fucked, but to be fucked by him. I needed that connection to him to ground me again.

  I couldn’t help but rub myself against him, enjoying the abrasiveness of his shirt against my taut nipples and how wet I was becoming by the mere thought this was going to finally happen.

  He shook his head, but instead of pulling away from me, he pushed his groin further into my palm. “I can’t be gentle with you and I won’t do that to you after everything.”

  Be still my heart. The fact that he was afraid to hurt me only made me love him even more.

  Xavier could never physically hurt me. I knew that. He needed to know that, too. I didn’t want or need tender. I only needed him—the real him—and the beast within that I could see fighting to unleash himself.

  My lips quirked in what I hoped was an enticing and sexy look. “Who says I want gentle?”

  His nostrils flared again and his body reverberated with tension. He appeared on edge, capable of snapping at any given moment. Like any little thing would push him into spinning out of control. I used to be afraid of that look. Now, it made me wet knowing the pleasure he was capable of inducing. Nothing was more exciting than how sexy and virile he was whenever he let out his beast.

  Wanting to rile him up even further, I drew his zipper down and reached inside his boxer briefs so we were skin on skin. He was hot and I could feel him pulsing in my palm. One quick stroke was all it took to make him snap.

  A feral sound escaped his throat when he slammed me into the wall with the full force of his body weight. His lips crashed down on mine. His tongue forced its way into my mouth, plundering inside and leaving me breathless.

  My hand instinctively tightened around his length, rubbing back and forth as fast as my reflexes would allow. His hand wasted no time diving between my legs where he found me wet and ready for him. His long, deft finger sank into me, pumping in and out, sending my mind and body into a tailspin.

  God it feels so good. I never want him to stop. Ever.

  My hips moved in time with his hand, taking every bit of what he was offering. He broke the kiss and stared into my eyes as I rode him for all I was worth.

  “That’s it, baby. Give it to me. Show me how much you want it,” he whispered against my mouth and I felt my orgasm crash into me out of nowhere. The force of it had me shaking uncontrollably. It was almost too much for me to take, but I memorized every shake and tremor and tightening of my muscles, never wanting to forget how right it felt.

  My body slumped against his as I struggled to recover. My heart had barely had a chance to slow its wild gallop in my chest, when I found myself flying through the air, landing face up on the bed, staring into stormy blue eyes.

  “You want rough, don’t you?” he asked in a harsh tone as he quickly undressed.

  When I didn’t answer right away, his hand came down and swat my inner thigh, just below my pussy. The shock of it made me moan. My hips lifted up on their own, seeking more.

  Xavier let out a harsh laugh and did it again. “Tell me you want it, Aurora. Tell me you want me to fuck you until you feel me inside you for days.”

  “Yes,” I whispered. My fingers plucking my nipples punc
tuated how badly I wanted him inside me. “Fuck me, honey.”

  Without any further ado, his hands went behind my knees, hiking them up to my chest and in one quick movement, he buried himself deep inside me. The jolt of it made me gasp.

  “Yes!” I cried out when he pulled out and immediately drove back inside. His hard vicious thrusts not only moving us across the bed, but quickly catapulting me toward another orgasm. It was a sensual assault on each and every nerve ending. There wasn’t a place inside me he wasn’t hitting.

  The only sounds in the room were of skin on skin, my moans and his grunts and growls. It would have sounded like an animalistic mating to anyone listening.

  “Not yet,” he grit out between clenched teeth when he felt my inner muscles clamp down on him in anticipation of release.

  A loud protest left my mouth when he pulled out, only to flip me over and hike me up on my knees. Then with a grunt of satisfaction, he drove back into me.

  Now we’re getting somewhere.

  With one hand on my hip, his other pushed on my neck to keep me down when I tried to raise up on all fours. Instead of freaking me out, I was surprised when his dominance only added to my excitement. A fresh surge of wetness coated his cock as he surged in and out of my pussy.

  “Fuck! So tight. So wet. So damn perfect,” Xavier cursed when he felt how turned on I was. His grip on my hip tightened and, if possible, his movements became more punishing.

  With my cheek pressed to the bed, I could see him out of the corner of my eye. The hunger and determination on his face were a thing of beauty. Like an Adonis carved of stone. It had me pushing back against each of his thrusts, trying to get every little piece of him I could.

  On a particularly delicious thrust slash hip rotation, I whimpered, dangerously close to giving into the climax my body was begging for. My fingers fisted in the sheets on either side of my head and my toes curled in anticipation. Orgasms that build and build before finally pulling you under are my favorite and the one I experienced then did not disappoint.