Xavier O’Brien

by Ingro, Jessica

  “I killed him,” she said with a quiet disbelief.

  “Who?” Xavier still wasn’t sure exactly what had gone down. He was going to wait to ask for details, but if she needed to purge them then he was more than willing to listen.

  “Lucien.” She shuddered in his arms. “He was going to kill me, but his gun locked up.”

  The words made his mouth tighten, but he drew her into his arms again and murmured the understatement of the year, “I know, baby. I’m glad you didn’t let him.”

  “I didn’t even need to think about it. I just pulled the trigger, and you know what? I don’t regret it at all,” she surprised him by saying.

  “It’s okay if you do. It is human nature to have misgivings after taking someone’s life.” He’d taken enough over the years to know that your first one tended to stick with you.

  “You don’t understand.” She gripped his hands and her tone urged him to really hear her. “I don’t regret killing him. He was a sick and demented bastard who got his rocks off on hurting other people. I would not change one thing if I had the chance to do it over again.”

  “My baby.” He crushed her to him and held her head against his chest. “You’re so fucking strong. I’m so proud of you, but if you start having nightmares again, I need you to tell me. Promise me that.”

  She forced his hand to move from her head when she looked up at him. “I promise.”

  “I love you, Féileacán.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Never again would his world affect this woman. There were some things that just weren’t acceptable. Losing her or Sophie was one of them. He would do anything it took to make sure another piece of shit like Lucien Spinelli would think twice about going after what was his.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Aurora

  “You sure you’re okay to drive?” I asked Marx for the third time since we left the clinic. He was all stitched up and even though he insisted that he was fine, the lines around his eyes betrayed his pain.

  “I’ll be fine.” He tucked my hair behind my ear before casting a wary glance at Xavier who stood behind me with a hand possessively on my shoulder. Surprisingly, Xavier didn’t respond to Marx’s affection, other than to tighten his hold on me.

  I gave Marx a quick hug before he folded into his sleek Jaguar. The engine purred as he backed down the driveway. As soon as he was gone, I turned around and snaked my arms around Xavier’s waist, resting my head on his chest. It had been a long day and I needed his comfort.

  Luke had just barely pulled through the surgery Xavier’s doctor performed. It was going to be touch and go most of the night, so I didn’t want to leave his side. When Xavier insisted, I made him promise we would stay until his woman, Jocelyn, got to the clinic. Knowing he wasn’t going to be alone made me feel marginally better. Part of me felt guilty for putting him in danger and then not being able to get him the help he needed.

  “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?” Xavier asked, his lips in my hair after pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. My man was feeling just as tactile as me, it would seem.

  “I’m still in shock about everything that happened today,” I admitted softly. His arms tightened around me, but he didn’t interrupt, which I was grateful for. “I was so terrified I might never see Sophie or you again. All I could think was that I had to make it out alive for you two.”

  “For the record, I’m glad you made it out alive,” Xavier said, trying to lighten the heaviness of my words.

  “Me too,” I agreed.

  After I pause, I asked a question that had been terrifying me since killing Lucien. “Is it wrong that I feel no remorse for ending his life?”

  “Fuck no,” he whispered forcefully. “It was you or him, Aurora. You made the right choice.”

  “I know I did. It’s just… shouldn’t I at least feel something other than grateful? I have another man’s blood on my hands. Surely that’s one of the biggest sins you can commit.”

  “Look at me.” Xavier’s fist under my jaw forced me to gaze into his beautiful eyes. “If you were standing at the pearly gates today, no God would condemn you for what you did. He’d probably thank you.”

  “I’m not so sure.”

  “I am.” His tone was hard and resolute.

  Knowing he wouldn’t change his mind, I chose not to argue but rather to change the subject. I could worry about my lack of regret later. As it was, my mind was consumed with thoughts of poor Luke lying in that hospital bed. Xavier had tried to impress on me that Luke knew the dangers associated with protecting me and that I shouldn’t feel guilty. Logic dictated he was right, but that didn’t mean the man deserved what he got either.

  Lucien had played God with so many lives. He killed Xavier’s sister, drove his mother to suicide and almost took Luke from us. And that isn’t even taking into account all the other people he had murdered over the years. Maybe God would forgive me after all for taking Lucien’s life when he took so many. It was that thought that led me to one of Ruth and had me wondering if she would ever forgive me once she knew what I had done.

  “I just got Ruth back,” I told him quietly, opting for a subject other than the guilt Xavier had tried to convince me I didn’t need to feel. Luke knew the dangers of protecting me, but that didn’t mean he deserved what he got. “She’ll never be able to get past what happened today.”

  “So don’t tell her,” he said after a pause.

  I pulled my head back and screwed up my face in disapproval. “I hate lying.”

  “It’s not a lie. You’re just leaving out the events of one day of your life,” he reasoned.

  In reality his logic made sense, and it was tempting to follow it. Problem was, omitting something so important felt like the cowardly thing to do, and I was anything but a coward. I had already proved time and again I didn’t like to take the easy way out.

  “I won’t lie by omission, either. It makes it seem like I’m ashamed of my life and the choices I’ve made. I’m not. If she can’t accept who I am, it will hurt like hell, but it will be her decision. Though I’ll probably never stop reaching out and trying to be her friend if that’s the case.”

  His face softened and he placed a soft kiss on my lips. “If she can’t accept you, it will be her loss.”

  “Yeah,” I whispered my agreement around a throat clogged with emotion. I really wished she could accept me as I was instead of looking for the girl I used to be. I held out hope after our earlier conversation.

  Suddenly his face was serious and my breath halted not knowing why. With my body locked with apprehension, I waited. He didn’t keep me waiting.

  “I heard what you said about my sister.”

  My body relaxed when I realized what he was talking about. My final words to Lucien.

  “Xavier,” I whispered as raw emotion passed over his features. Angst followed by sadness and lastly pride.

  “Thank you,” he whispered reverently and I felt tears spring in my eyes. “She would have loved you.”

  “Do not make me cry,” I said in an attempt to lighten the mood. It meant everything to me that he would think that.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Sensing that I needed him to leave the subject alone, he grinned and kissed me. “Come on. We need to pack.”

  “What? Why?” I stuttered, thrown by the order as well as the change of subject.

  “Boys got the place cleaned but we’re leaving.”

  “We’re leaving?” My choice of words and slow blink that followed them should have been a dead giveaway that I wasn’t following him.

  “Yeah. Leaving. Glass on the back door is busted and I’m not too keen on the idea of staying here tonight. One of the boys will watch the house while we’re gone until the door is fixed.”

  “What about Sophie?” My heart dropped at the realization my daughter was once again about to see her mother banged up. Thankfully it wasn’t my face this time, but thanks to my cracked ribs, I was moving slow
er than usual.

  Maybe Ruth was right. Maybe my choices weren’t the best. The thought left a sour taste in my mouth.

  “Already talked to Candy. She’s staying there tonight and tomorrow. Until then, it’s just you and me.”

  “Just you and me,” I echoed and allowed him to pull me into the house.

  For as much as I wanted to snuggle my little girl, it was probably for the best that she stayed with Candy. The thought of the two of us getting some real alone time was a delicious one, even if it did lead to even more guilt for thinking that way.

  Walking through the house toward our bedroom, I couldn’t help the shiver that shook my entire body. Thank God Lucien was gone and we could finally put this whole ordeal behind us.

  I didn’t regret anything and I would learn to live with the black mark on my soul caused by his death. Xavier’s sister’s death had been avenged and the world was sure to be a better place without him.

  * * *

  The breeze filtered in through the open French doors, ruffling the sheer curtains and dancing across my heated skin as I looked at the storm clouds approaching on the horizon.

  Once we were packed, Xavier drove us to a secluded house in the mountains. He was vague about who owned the house, but I didn’t care. It was beautiful and serene. If I couldn’t be on the lake, I would want to be here.

  Having just made love with Xavier, I was lying naked on my stomach with only a sheet draped over my body. A smile played at my lips as I remembered how gentle yet thorough he had been with my battered body.

  I turned my head to face Xavier when a noise dangerously close to a sigh passed his lips. His eyes were sated and sleepy. His hair was mussed from our recent lovemaking. He was so content, the rough lines of his face smoothed, that he appeared years younger. My heart swelled when his lips tipped up in an endearing grin.

  Slowly and gingerly, I rolled to my side. The sheet dipped with my movements, exposing a nipple that immediately tightened at his perusal. His calloused finger reached out and circled the pointed tip lazily and without any real intent.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  His eyes drifted up from my chest at my question and he lifted his shoulder in a noncommittal shrug.

  “Nothing really. Just enjoying the view.” He gave me a lascivious grin then. While I liked to see him playful, I knew he was hiding himself from me. It didn’t sit well with me at all.

  “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?” I pressed.

  “Yeah.” He sighed and then scooted closer to me, wrapping me up in his arms tenderly. Still facing him, I rested my head against his chest as we snuggled our bodies close together. It didn’t matter that it had been almost twenty-four hours since our latest ordeal. We still needed that physical connection to reassure ourselves that everything was going to be okay.

  We laid connected in silence like that for a long time. The only sound being the birds chirping outside. I didn’t press Xavier to speak. I knew he would tell me what was on his mind if and when he was ready. All that mattered to me in that moment was that we were together and that he was happy.

  I had just begun to drift off when his low, gruff voice startled me.

  “Would you want more kids?”

  My heart began racing as my mind embraced his words. Not out of fear or terror, but out of sheer excitement. Xavier O’Brien never struck me as the type of man to start this conversation. Sure, he was great with Sophie now that he knew her. But when he first met her, he seemed completely petrified of her. The thought of him holding a newborn sent my hormones into overdrive.

  My smile was wide and bright when I said, “I would love nothing more than to make babies with you.”

  “Don’t get too excited. I just thought it might be nice to explore that option. Eventually.”

  “I think it would be more than nice to explore…” My words trailed off as I circled his cock with my fingers and ran my thumb over its tip. He immediately began to harden and lengthen in my grasp.

  “I meant think about the future and the possibility of adding to our family.” His words grew labored as he spoke and he ended his train of thought with a thrust of his hip into my fist.

  I stilled when he said the word family. Until now I had never given much thought to it, but we were in fact a family—him, me and Sophie.

  Ignoring my protesting ribs, I forced him to his back when I climbed on top of him. Quickly sheathing him inside me, I started a slow rocking rhythm. My eyes never left his as I showed him without words how much I love him. His hands gripped my hips tightly as he let me lead our dance.

  It didn’t take long before I was riding him faster, his hands now groping my breasts. His fingers tweaking my nipples. I was close and words bubbled out of me.

  I love you.

  I love us.

  A family.

  Forever.

  God.

  Xavier.

  I’m coming.

  And he was right there with me. Impossibly hard inside me. His breaths coming in short, harsh pants. His face determined as he staved off his own orgasm while I found mine. My name was like a prayer crossing his lips when I finally did let go and came around him.

  He stilled me then and professed his love to me in a hoarse shout. His hands holding me to him as he twitched deep inside me, bathing me literally and figuratively with all he had to offer me.

  I slumped on top of him as I attempted to regulate my breathing. Something about our connection seemed both overwhelming and powerful in that moment. I never wanted to lose the feeling, especially knowing how easily it could have been taken away from me.

  Xavier’s hands trailed up and down my sweat-slickened skin as we both came down. When I was able to breathe again, I lifted my head and looked at him. He was so beautiful. I couldn’t help but smile because he was all mine.

  * * *

  Xavier

  Xavier O’Brien fell asleep with Aurora tucked close to his side. His hand holding hers on his chest and a feeling of contentment deep within his bones.

  With the worst behind them, he knew life could finally settle for them. It had been a long time since he had a family to come home to, and he wanted nothing more than to enjoy the perks that came with that.

  Aurora and Sophie were his world. Nothing was going to change that.

  That night, he dreamed in flashes.

  White lace.

  Aurora with a swollen belly.

  A tiny baby with his dark hair and the same adorable smile as Sophie.

  A home.

  When he woke up the next morning, for the first time in forever, he did it with peace.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Aurora

  The car ride back to our house was a short one. Or at least it felt like it. While I was glad to be going home and excited about seeing my daughter, I was also a little gun-shy to let real life back into our bubble.

  The whole way home, Xavier held my hand on his thigh. His thumb tracing circles against my palm. The vibes coming off him were so much more laidback and calm than they had been. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him this serene. It was as if he’d been able to shed all the weight that usually rested on his shoulders.

  For both of our sakes, I hoped it would last for a long while, because if the last forty-eight hours were a glimpse at what life post-Lucien drama was going to be like, I could not wait.

  The blinker signaling our turn into the driveway, broke me from my thoughts. I glanced out the windshield and found myself a bit taken aback by a strange car parked in front of the house. All Xavier’s men drove SUVs of some type, so the plain—and based on the plates, rented—sedan had me wondering who was at the house.

  “Do you know who that is?” I asked Xavier, seeing he was more alert now.

  “No. Do me a favor and stay in the car while I find out.”

  I started to agree with him as he put the car in park, but when I saw the two people standing on the front porch, I threw my door open and raced
toward them. Xavier cursed at me for not listening before he exited the car himself, hot on my tail and set on protecting me.

  “Marge? Tom?” I practically threw myself at my estranged husband’s parents forgetting all the bad blood that happened when Kevin went to prison. For the longest time, they were like my second family and I’d missed them. The rest was water under the bridge as far as I was concerned.

  Marge’s arms tightened around me and held on for dear life. She rocked me back and forth in a tight embrace. It wasn’t until I felt wetness on my shoulder that I realized she was crying. When my eyes fell on Tom, I found the normally stoic man was also crying.

  Dread pooled in my stomach and I asked them both, “What’s wrong?”

  Instead of answering, Marge’s body shook on a sob and she gripped me almost painfully. I turned my full attention to Tom. Swiping a tear from his cheek, he shook his head solemnly before finally speaking.

  “We received a call from the Department of Corrections. They found Kevin in his cell last week. He’s… gone.”

  Disbelief smacked me in the face and I lost the ability to stand. If not for Marge’s body locked with mine and Xavier’s quick thinking, I surely would have hit the ground. Instead, his strong arms circled my waist and pulled me into his embrace. Tom followed suit and tucked Marge’s face into his neck as she grieved for her only child.

  As I began crying, bile rose up my throat at the thought of Kevin being dead.

  My sweet Kevin.

  The first boy I truly loved.

  My husband.

  The father of my child.

  When you lose someone unexpectedly, all the hard times fall to the wayside and all you remember is the good of the person.

  His smile.

  His laugh.

  The way he used to make me feel special.