When I finished my tirade, I realized her face looked stricken and tears swam in her eyes. I felt horrible for laying it out like that, but honesty was always the best policy. I couldn’t keep doing this dance with her.
“You’re right,” she said as she wiped a stray tear. “I sometimes forget that wanting what’s best for someone may not always be your version of what’s best. Only you and God can know for sure if the path you are on is right.”
Rising from my chair, I crossed the room and took Ruth in my arms.
“Thank you,” I whispered before pulling back and smiling.
“I just don’t want to lose another daughter,” she whispered in return.
“You won’t,” I promised.
“Good,” she responded before releasing me. “Now go sit down. I’ll bring you some brownies with your tea.”
“You’re sweet. You remembered how much I love your homemade brownies.”
She brushed off the compliment and set about to getting tea and goodies for us. The whole time she gabbed about the old crew at work. It felt like old times. Comfortable. Familiar. It seemed just what the doctor ordered.
“You never told me why you blazed out of here that day last week. I was scared to death for you.” Ruth joined me at the table. Her eyes sharp as she waited for me to answer her.
“Xavier found the man who ordered my kidnapping. He wanted me safe at his house.” I chose my words carefully knowing she’d probably overreact with worry.
“And were you?” She raised her eyebrows in question.
“Mostly,” I conceded. I hadn’t lied when I told Xavier I wasn’t going to omit details because of her judgments. That didn’t mean I was going to give her all the nitty, gritty details either.
Ruth opened her mouth and closed it, repeating the act two more times before she shook her head. “Tell me one thing.”
“Okay.”
“Did that boy take care of the low-life scum who wanted such a heinous thing done to you?”
“He won’t be hurting anyone ever again,” I assured her, carefully leaving out the fact that I was the one who made that so.
She nodded once. “Good. Now have a brownie.”
I laughed under my breath at her change of subject. Taking a bite of the warm, chocolate goodness she gave me, I moaned in delight.
“I miss your cooking and baking,” I informed her, earning me a broad grin.
“You know where to find it, girl. My door is always open to you and Sophie.”
“And Xavier?” I asked before thinking better of it.
She seemed to mull that over for a moment. “And Xavier too.”
I sat back in my chair, slightly taken aback by the admission. Ruth grabbed my hand and squeezed.
“He loves you and you love him. And it’s clear he loves your daughter. I might not agree with what he does for a living or the choices he’s made, but I can’t ignore those facts either. So, I’ll try. For you.”
“Thank you,” I whispered when my voice failed me.
With all the heavy on us, I decided to broach the topic I had come there for. It made me a little nervous, but it had to be done.
“I was thinking…” Trailing off, I sipped my tea to avoid continuing.
“Yes?” She prompted when I continued to stall by taking a bite of my brownie.
Setting the treat down, I turned in my chair and faced her. With my hand on hers, I said, “If something were to happen to me and Xavier, or just me and Xavier doesn’t want to be Sophie’s guardian, then I want you to be.”
I watched shock sweep over her features and her hand squeezed mine tightly. She sat, stunned for several seconds before recovering enough to speak.
“Where is this coming from?”
“Kevin overdosed,” I informed her of another bit of information she hadn’t known.
“Oh, Alyssa,” she said on a heavy sigh before rising from her chair and gathering me in her arms. Tears pricked the back of my eyes, but I willed them away. I had shed enough tears over Kevin and I didn’t want Sophie to see me cry anymore. It may hurt like hell to know that he chose to waste his life away with drugs, but we were moving on. We had no choice.
“Thank you,” I sniffled when she pulled back. “It was a tough realization for sure. His parents came to town and informed me. Right before they threatened to take my daughter away from me.”
My tone was light even if the situation hadn’t been. I still had no idea what caused Marge’s about face when it came to Sophie and I didn’t care. The fact of the matter was they were toxic, no matter how much they loved their granddaughter. And while I’d still let Sophie have a relationship with them, it was going to be from afar and something I could easily monitor.
“You have got to be kidding me,” Ruth exclaimed in disbelief. “How could a grandparent do that to a poor child? It isn’t as if you’re neglecting her.”
“If anything, they neglected her when they wouldn’t help me after Kevin left me with no money.”
“Will you ever catch a break, child?”
I let loose a long, hard breath. “I sure do hope so.”
She pat my hand and sat back down in her chair. Looking at me thoughtfully, she said, “Does Xavier not have any family you would trust Sophie with?”
I shook my head. “His mom and sister died a long time ago. It’s just him.”
“Then I’d be honored to take care of your precious child.”
“Oh, thank you,” I gushed. Knowing this was taken care of made was a huge relief.
We spent the next hour catching up. It wasn’t until I knew we had to meet Xavier for dinner that I finally got up from the table to go.
“Come visit again soon,” she told me from the doorway.
“Promise.”
Even though my blood relatives had all perished, I’d never consider myself without family again.
* * *
“I love pizza,” Sophie randomly announced with a mouth full of food.
“Me too,” Xavier echoed, making her smile big.
It was later that evening and we were at our favorite mom and pop pizza place. The tone of the evening had been laidback and carefree. I almost had to pinch myself to believe it was happening. Life had been so chaotic that I wasn’t sure it would ever feel this peaceful and easy.
“Me three,” I added for good measure. Patting my full belly, I leaned back in the booth while the other two continued to go to town on their food.
Xavier’s phone pinged with an incoming text. I watched his brows furrow and his fingers fly across the screen as he responded. He was so damn cute. My foot ran up his pant leg, stopping dangerously close to the promised land. His head shot up and his heated gaze locked with mine. Sensual promises silently passed between us. When I made to pull my foot back, his hand gripped it and held it in place.
I smiled.
“Before I forget, I need to meet with your lawyer.” His fingers contracted on my foot.
“Why?”
“I need a new will.”
He leaned in and lowered his voice. “Where is this coming from?”
“After everything that happened, I need to know that Sophie will be taken care of if something happens to me. Or us,” I added.
“Nothing is going to happen,” he said resolutely.
“We don’t know that. And with Kevin being gone, I want to make sure his parents can’t poison little brains. If you know what I mean.” I nodded toward Sophie, not wanting her to clue into what we were discussing.
“So what do you propose?” He asked a little more relaxed now that I explained.
“I asked Ruth if she’d take her should anything happen to us or if you didn’t want to take her should something happen to just me.”
“Are you shitting me?” He whispered ominous. The vein bulging in his temple told me I had unwittingly just poked the bear.
“What?” I asked exasperatedly.
“You think I’d ever turn that girl away? Fucking think again.”
“Watch your mouth,” I berated him. “And no, I don’t think you’d want to. But when it comes to having someone raise your child, you have to have all your bases covered. We don’t know what the future holds, and I need to know that my baby is taken care of in my absence.”
“I don’t care what the circumstances are, I would never—not ever—turn her away. Do you hear me? She already had one piece of shit father. I will never be number two.”
I nodded, unable to speak after his passionate rhetoric.
“X, will you play a game with me?” Sophie asked. She was just the knife we needed to cut the tension between us.
“Sure thing, bug.” He slid out of the booth and took her hand in his.
I watched them go, wondering how I had missed the ferocity of his love for her. And I beat myself up for letting him think for even a second that I believed he might not choose her.
Chapter Eighteen
“Do you think we have sex too much?”
Sitting in the chair across from Xavier’s desk, legs crossed, I looked up from my tablet and waited for the answer to my question.
“What?” Xavier mumbled distractedly, his eyes never leaving the papers in front of him.
“Sex… do you think that’s all we are?” I kept my tone light, but the subject had been weighing on my mind for some time. We had an amazing sex life, of that I was sure. My concern was that sex was what kept us together. The more we had it, the more afraid I became that it was what defined us.
I had tried to shake it off, knowing the comparisons I was drawing to my marriage with Kevin were unfair. It had been three very long weeks since his parents showed up on our doorstep and for some reason I couldn’t get him off my mind.
As it was, Kevin and Xavier were polar opposites. Kevin had been happy-go-lucky before becoming an addict. He was always intent on letting me run the show while he sat back and watched. Xavier was dark and dangerous. He was alpha to the core.
It was nice not having to be in charge all time. There was something immensely gratifying in knowing Xavier would bend over backwards to make sure Sophie and I had what we needed when we needed it. In knowing that we were loved by a man who most people thought was incapable of the emotion. I hadn’t had that security in a really long time—not since my parents died—and it was a feeling I cherished.
Xavier set his pen down and leaned back in his chair. His complete focus on me. He studied my face for several moments. I suddenly felt stripped bare, like he was seeing something I had been trying to hide. It made me antsy.
“Do you really believe that’s all we are?” He asked with a tinge of incredulity in his tone.
“Yes? No? I don’t know?” I shrugged hopelessly and fought squirming under his gaze.
He sighed and shook his head.
“What?” I demanded to know, slightly put out by his response.
“You think too much.”
“And you don’t think enough,” I huffed.
“You’re going to make me do, this aren’t you?” He muttered under his breath in annoyance. Standing up, he rounded the desk and perched on the edge of the wood in front of me. His face turned serious and his words that followed held a tremendous weight to them.
“Aurora, people would kill for our kind of chemistry. We’re explosive together and not just in the bedroom. Some of my favorite times are just sitting next to you and holding your hand. Or laughing at something you said or a face you made. Who cares if my dick wants to take up permanent residence inside your body? If this was just sex, I wouldn’t care that your face lights up whenever I walk in the room. Or that you look like you just won the lotto whenever I tell you I love you. Stop trying to overanalyze what we have.”
I blinked at him as tears filled my eyes. How did he always know what I needed to hear? A vulnerable Xavier was something I was never going to take for granted.
“Would it make you feel better if I take you out more?”
“Like on a date?” I asked hopefully.
He smirked and nodded, so I launched myself out of the chair and into his arms.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” I gushed in between planting kisses all over his face and neck.
His hands moved from where they had set up shop on my ass to my face where he held me in place. With no choice but to stare at him, I didn’t miss the intensity of his face when he said, “Do not ever thank me for loving you the way you deserve. It’s my honor.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but squeaked instead when his face dipped to mine and he kissed me. Hard. This was no sweet peck. It was deep and wet and filled with need.
My arms laced around his neck, drawing my body tighter against his. His hands found their way back to my ass where he rocked me against his growing erection. I moaned at the contact, wanting more of it. Needing him inside me more than I needed air.
Xavier turned us, his arm swiping the papers from his desk so he could lay me down there. His hand slid up my inner thigh as he continued to make love to my mouth. His finger grazed my damp panties before peeling them aside and plunging inside me.
My back arched and I cried out with how good it felt. How right.
How could I ever question this?
A knock on the door had his hand stilling, two fingers embedded deep inside my pussy. My inner muscles clenched of their own accord at the thought of losing him.
“What?” Xavier barked, making me wince. There was a time that bark would have scared me shitless.
“I have those papers you requested,” came a muffled, feminine voice from the other side of the closed door.
“Give me a second.” Xavier sighed and rested his head on my chest for a moment while he composed himself. Standing up, he pulled his fingers from my body before inserting them in his mouth. I trembled as I watched him lick them clean.
Taking my hand, he helped me down from the desk. I righted my dress and sat back in the chair across from his.
Xavier crossed the room to the door while adjusting his erection and I smirked knowing he was probably just as disappointed as I was at the interruption. Had it been one of his men, he most likely would have killed them before letting them disturb us.
Adjusting slightly in my chair, I watched the door swing open and Perky Tits come into view. Pammy was new at the club and instead of calling her by her given name, Candy and I had taken to calling her Perky Tits.
As you could guess, the name was a perfect description for her chest. The chest that always seemed to thrust a little higher whenever Xavier was in the vicinity. I tried not to let it get me jealous, but even I had to admit she had a nice rack. A little too nice, maybe.
“Here’s those papers,” she said breathlessly and I fought the roll of my eyes.
I could understand her appreciation of my man, especially since it hadn’t been that long ago that I was new and just as affected by him. But all the girls were warned up front that Xavier did not dip his stick in this pool. Of course, I had been the exception to that rule. The fact that she thought she could be also, made me frown.
Xavier took the paperwork from her and sent her on her way. Instead of coming back to me and finishing what we had started, though, he sat down at his desk and began rifling through the documents he procured from the floor.
“Perky Tits,” I mumbled in annoyance. I was going to give her all the unwanted clients in retaliation for leaving me with the lady form of blue balls.
“What?” He glanced up and then went back to reading.
“Perky Tits and her damn interruption left me unsatisfied,” I grumbled.
“Perky Tits?” He glanced up again, this time with a mixture of confusion and mirth on his face.
“Well they are!”
He thought on that for a second before shrugging and saying, “Yeah.”
Oh, the outrage! I couldn’t believe he agreed to that observation. Did he have a death wish?
“So what? Are you saying you like that sort of thing?” My voice rose an octave an
d I may have sounded like a crazed lunatic, but I didn’t care. It made me feel inadequate, which made me lash out.
He laughed at my outburst.
Laughed!
In my face!
I crossed my arms and huffed.
“You’re serious?” He asked after his laughter waned.
“Yes, I’m serious,” I snapped.
“Aurora, who cares if her tits point to the sky and bounce when she walks? They aren’t the ones I’ll be sucking on later.” The heated promise in his eyes made me shiver. Damn, traitorous body.
“Do you want mine to look like that?” Looking down my body, I adjusted my bra and propped the girls up a little. I might have only been twenty-four, but having a baby—one you breastfed for twelve months—did things to your body. Unspeakable things.
“Fuck no,” he immediately answered.
“You’re sure?” I gave him an endearing grin, knowing I was pushing him today and loving that he was humoring me.
“Yes,” he bit out.
“Okay. I’ll drop it. I just don’t want to lose you.” God, I sounded pathetic. And since when did I admit stuff like that out loud? It had to be the fact that all the shit I went through with Kevin was coming back up. A man choosing drugs over his family would leave anyone feeling inadequate.
“That’ll never happen.”
“Good.” Appeased with my response, he went back to work.
Needing something to do, I went back to scrolling through the schedule on my tablet, but my mind wasn’t really in it. It was stuck on our conversation and what we were doing before we got interrupted. That achy feeling wasn’t going away.
Deciding it was time to play, I set my work aside and stood so I could make Xavier do the same. I put an extra sway to my hips as I walk around his desk. His eyes rose with surprise when I pushed him back in his chair and lifted my dress up around my hips so I could straddle his lap.
My hands fidgeted with the straps of my dress, drawing his eyes up from their study of my skimpy blue thong.
“Have you ever thought about having a threesome?” I asked him as the first strap fell off my shoulder.
Xavier O’Brien Page 11
