Cocky Protector: A Hero Club Novel

by Kat Mizera

  “Nah. I like carrying your bags.” He slid his hand into mine as we walked. Chance and Aubrey were down the street looking at something they wanted to buy for their son, so we would meet up with them again in half an hour.

  I stopped in front of a store with gorgeous women’s clothing in the window. There was a beautiful winter-white coat that I might have bought had I not been distracted by so many things.

  “That would look pretty on you,” Ace said, following my gaze.

  “Thanks. I guess I have enough coats.” I kept walking, my thoughts going a hundred different directions. Ace seemed to sense I didn’t want to talk and didn’t say anything else as we window-shopped and eventually met up with Chance and Aubrey.

  When the guys went into a liquor store to buy some brandy, Aubrey and I walked across the street to another clothing store, though we didn’t go inside.

  “It’s okay to be upset about the situation,” she said quietly. “But are you mad at Ace?”

  “I’m not mad,” I said, “but this thing with my mom makes me wonder just how naïve and unprepared to be an adult I am. I had no idea my mother was up to something, not to mention my coworker. And now Ace is back after ten years, doing absolutely everything I ever dreamed he would do, and I’m falling hard and fast. The worst thing is, I feel foolish.” I turned to her miserably. “What if he’s using me or is somehow in on this with my mom?”

  “But why?” she asked softly, gently gripping my hands in hers. “What does he get out of this? Sex? Big deal. He can get that anywhere. His father is famous and he has a trust fund, so it’s not about your money. What other reasons are there for a man to use a woman like that?”

  “He’s a spy,” I whispered sadly. “Maybe I don’t know anything about him and I’ve let my ten-year-old fantasy override my good sense.”

  “I don’t think…” She took a breath. “Chance doesn’t talk about when he was in prison much, but I know underneath the jokes and self-deprecating humor, Ace pretty much saved his life. Chance made a couple of friends in prison, but honestly, it was Ace who kept him from all the awful things that can happen at places like that. And he didn’t have to. There were plenty of hardened criminals he could have used as an informant, but he chose the guy who really didn’t belong there. Yes, Chance did something wrong, but he did what the law wasn’t able or willing to do, and that’s who Ace chose to protect. That says a lot about who Ace is.”

  “In my heart of hearts, I know that, but a lot has happened over a very short time and I’m overwhelmed. And the two people I’d normally be able to talk to are the two people causing me all these feelings.”

  “Well, now you have me.” Aubrey linked her arm through mine. “Come on, let’s get lost in the shops and make the guys find us. It’ll give us time for girl talk and it’ll be fun to make them search for us.”

  “Okay.” I appreciated her friendship so much and it made me sad to realize I that while I had friends, there was no one like this. No one I would call a best friend, who would whisper and giggle with me. Somehow, I’d skipped out on the best friend thing as I’d navigated adulthood, and it was one of many things making me sad today.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Ace

  Our final night on the cruise was bittersweet. Something had been bothering Shannon—beyond the situation with her mother—and she wouldn’t talk to me. I’d tried to be there for her in every way possible but she was subtly pushing me away. She was trying to hide it, so I wasn’t sure what she wanted from me. Whether she was scared or overwhelmed or actually mad about something she didn’t want to talk about, well, I was good at reading people, but I couldn’t literally read her mind.

  All through dinner and then later while we had drinks and danced in the lounge, she avoided my eyes and seemed to lean more on Aubrey than on me. At first it hurt, but now it was just pissing me off. I’d dropped fucking everything to come when I thought she was in trouble, and whether this was about her mother or something else, it didn’t change anything for me. I’d originally wanted to protect her, and when that was no longer necessary, I wanted to try to explore something serious with her. What had changed in the last twenty-four hours to make her do an about-face like this? I planned to ask, but I was too annoyed right now and the last thing I wanted was for us to have our first fight on our last night of the cruise.

  “Things okay with you two?” Chance asked when the ladies excused themselves for a restroom break.

  “The truth?” I threw up my hands. “I have no fucking idea. She won’t talk to me.”

  “Aubrey said she’s overwhelmed.”

  “Well, yeah, but if she can’t trust me, after all we’ve been through the last two weeks, I’m thinking we don’t have a future.”

  “Have you told her you’re interested in a future?”

  “Yes. I mean, I told her I didn’t know what was going to happen, but I wanted to see where this leads. And that’s the truth—I can get called back to D.C. at any time. I have some big decisions to make but I put everything aside when I thought she was in trouble. Now, when my guy starts putting it all together, she shuts me out.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do with this. Or her.”

  As if on cue, my phone rang and Director Dickhead’s name flashed on the screen. “Great. Just what I need. Excuse me.” I got up and walked into the reception area and then outside onto the deck. It was cold, but a lot quieter than the lounge. “Ace Ross.”

  “Ace. Where the hell are you?”

  “Germany,” I told him. I figured if he was asking, he had to have an idea I wasn’t in Limaj. “Picking up a package for the king.”

  “Interesting.” He sounded doubtful. “You’ll have to tell me about it when you’re back in town. For now, I need an update.”

  “Plans for a Limaji intelligence agency are on hold while one of the cousins plans his wedding and they beef up the military. I told you it was handled.”

  “I’m still getting intel that says otherwise.”

  “I’m part of the king’s inner circle,” I said in a bored voice. “If you believe a snitch over your own asset, maybe I need to rethink my position with the agency.”

  “All right, don’t get your boxers in a bunch. We’d like you to come back to D.C. to debrief.”

  “It’s almost Christmas,” I said in irritation. “I’m going to L.A. to see my parents.”

  “So stop here in D.C. for one day and then go on your way. You have time.”

  “I have to get this package back to Limaj, which won’t be until late tomorrow, maybe Sunday. By the time I get to D.C., it’ll be Christmas Eve.”

  “Since when do you give a fuck about the holidays?”

  “Since now. Look, I’m on a boat in the middle of nowhere, I need to go. I’ll ring back tomorrow.” I disconnected and sighed.

  “Your boss?” Shannon’s voice startled me and I realized she’d been standing in the shadows.

  “Yeah.” I turned to her, meeting her eyes as the wind whipped tendrils of hair around her head.

  “Are you really going to see your parents for Christmas?”

  “No. I just don’t want to go to D.C. next week.”

  “Okay.” She hugged her arms around herself, shivering slightly in the cold air.

  “Why were you out here without a wrap?” I asked her, moving close and pulling her against me to warm her up a little.

  “I just wanted some air and then you came out.”

  “And you wanted to eavesdrop in case I was hiding anything from you.” It was more of a statement than a question because I already knew the answer.

  She looked down. “Maybe.”

  “Shannon.”

  She lifted sad blue eyes to me.

  “I don’t know what’s happening with your mom and Sandra, but you have to believe it has nothing to do with me.”

  “I know.” She shivered slightly. “Can we go inside?”

  “Of course.” I took her hand and we walked back into the reception are
a.

  “It’s not that I think you’re involved,” she said after a moment, moving to stand by the beautiful Christmas tree where we’d taken so many pictures this week. “It’s that I don’t trust myself.”

  “Meaning what?”

  “If my mother is behind this, and she’s the person I’ve leaned on and trusted most in all of this, in almost everything since my father died…what does that say about my ability to read people? To build strong relationships? I mean, you’re a spy!” She dropped her voice, hurriedly looking around apologetically. “Sorry, I’m just upset.”

  “It’s okay.” I reached for her, pulling her into my chest, which seemed to be the one place she was most calm.

  “I’m really out of sorts.”

  “It’s okay.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “What can I do?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “What do you want to do tomorrow? I thought we would rent a car and drive back to Cologne, but it’s up to you.”

  “I…” Her voice trailed off. “Would you believe I haven’t even thought about how we’re getting home? I forgot we were ending in Switzerland.”

  “You want to stay on the boat and sail back? It’ll take us through Christmas, but I’ll make it work if you want to do that. Give you another week to clear your head.”

  She shook her head. “No, I need to deal with this and move on, one way or another. But thank you for being here for me. For everything you’ve done. I don’t deserve you.” She squeezed my hand, turned, and went back into the lounge.

  What the fuck? Had she just dumped me? Given me a gentle nudge out the door? What had just happened? She hadn’t said goodbye or anything, but her actions spoke way louder than her words. I took a deep breath and slowly blew it out before following her back to where we’d been sitting with Chance and Aubrey. I had a feeling tonight wasn’t going to be nearly as much fun as the previous two.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Shannon

  We stayed up late, drinking champagne and talking with Chance and Aubrey. They finally went up to bed around two and Ace looked at me questioningly.

  “You ready to go?” he asked quietly.

  “Sure.” I didn’t know what else to do. I hated being so out of sorts with him, but my heart was wrapped in a lot of confusing and conflicting emotions. Love, lust, duplicity, and more than anything else, betrayal. I trusted Ace not to let anything happen to me, but I was suddenly very protective of my heart. I’d wanted nothing but to be with him for so long, and now that it was happening, I wasn’t sure it was the right thing.

  Of course, my intelligent mind knew there were a lot of reasons for how I was feeling. Like the fact that we truly didn’t know each other that well, or that this was a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to everything that had happened the last few weeks. Before Ace had arrived in Cologne, I’d thought I was going nuts. Then he showed up like a double-oh-seven in shining armor and I’d been smitten, completely wrapped up in the idea of us being together.

  That Sandra and my mother had somehow been involved in my stalker situation made me second-guess myself about every choice I’d ever made, from my ex-husband to the move to Cologne to my growing feelings for Ace. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but I was already in love with him, or at least well on my way, so my insecurity was hitting me like a blast of ice water in a sauna.

  “I’m going to make some calls to the U.S.,” Ace said when we got to the door of our room. “It’s still early on the West Coast, so I’ll be in shortly, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  He kissed my cheek, unlocked the door for me, and after a cursory look around, he was gone. Leaving me to my melancholy thoughts and internal struggles.

  Ace didn’t come back to the room until after four, probably not long after I’d dozed off, but I was awake at six thirty, stress and an imminent loneliness keeping me from getting much rest. The fact that we hadn’t made love on our last night of the cruise hurt me, more so because it was my fault. I’d pushed him away but he’d let me, and I didn’t know how I felt about that.

  Passive-aggressive much?

  I showered and packed up my toiletries, putting my hair in a braid because I didn’t have the energy for anything else today. When I came out of the bathroom Ace was packing, and he glanced up with a smile.

  “Good morning.”

  “Did you get any sleep?” I asked him.

  “A catnap is all I need,” he responded. “I’m going to jump in the shower. Are you going to breakfast?”

  “Yes, but I’ll wait for you since I have to finish packing anyway.”

  “Okay.” He disappeared into the bathroom and I packed the last of my things. I put a few swipes of mascara on my lashes to detract from the dark circles under my eyes, and then closed my suitcase. This was it. Our special time together was over and it had ended on a sour note. I wanted to scream at my mother, but I figured there would be time for that when we got home. It would be about five hours to drive from Basel to Cologne, depending on traffic, but Ace had taken care of everything so we were going to have a taxi take us from the port to the car rental place.

  I had no idea what we would do once we got to Cologne.

  “You ready to eat?” Ace asked as he came out of the bathroom. He wore jeans and no shirt, the muscles beneath his glistening skin flexing slightly as he swiped at a few drops of water he’d missed with the towel.

  “Sure.” I nodded, reaching for my purse. My mother had just called again and I gritted my teeth as I hit decline. One more meal. One last hour before I had to face reality.

  He put on a shirt and the Henley pulled tight across his chest, reminding me what it felt like to be in his arms. I bit my lower lip, wanting desperately to throw myself at him and let him make everything better, but I couldn’t. Not yet. I didn’t know how to explain it, but somehow, I needed to face this on my own. Well, mostly on my own. I had to take back the control it felt like others had taken from me over the years. It had nothing to do with him, but my own feelings of helplessness.

  “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” I whispered out of nowhere, blinking back tears. “Or that my feelings have changed. I just have to figure things out. Please don’t give up on me. On us. Just let me handle this the way I have to for my sanity. Please.” Tears dripped down my cheeks and he didn’t hesitate to pull me close. He didn’t say anything for a few minutes, stroking my back and letting me cry on his shoulder.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Not for long anyway. You do what you have to do and let me know when you’re ready to let me back in.”

  “Okay.” I pulled away reluctantly and blew my nose. My mascara had smeared so I had to dig out my makeup remover, take it off and start over. I added some foundation this time because I was a little red from crying, and then a dab of lipstick because I was pale as hell. I still looked rough, and my eyes were red, but it was better.

  “You’re beautiful,” he said softly.

  “You’re a good liar.”

  “I am, but I’m not lying.” He reached for my hand. “Ready for your last cappuccino and Belgian waffle?”

  “Sure.”

  We said goodbye to Chance and Aubrey after breakfast, hugging them both and promising to keep in touch.

  “You can come visit,” Aubrey whispered as she hugged me. “Or I’ll come to Cologne and we can take a shopping trip to Paris, okay? Promise you’ll keep in touch?”

  “You promise first,” I laughed, blinking away tears.

  “Promise.” We laughed and hugged tighter.

  “Safe travels,” I whispered.

  “You too.”

  Ace had gotten our luggage and the four of us walked across the gangway onto the shore. And standing beside a Mercedes with a driver was my mother.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I muttered.

  “What’s wrong?” Ace looked around in alarm, his gaze settling on my mother with a scowl.

  “Is that your mum?” Chance stage-whispered.

  “We
’re so going to miss our flight,” Aubrey added.

  “Fuck.” Ace looked at me. “What do you want to do?”

  “Well, I guess it’s now or never, huh? Let’s get this over with.” Dragging my suitcase behind me, I strode over to my mother and put my hands on my hips. “Hello, Mother. What are you doing here?”

  “We have to talk,” she said quietly.

  “Oh, yes, we certainly do.” I felt Ace’s presence though he’d come up behind me quietly.

  “There’s room in the car for both of you and your luggage,” Mom said. “So we can—”

  “Sorry, there’s four of us,” I said with a shrug. “We have Chance and Aubrey too.” That was a lie, of course, but I wasn’t going to make this easy on her.

  “Shannon, please.” She actually looked like she was about to cry, which was so unlike my mother it gave me pause.

  “Mom, you’ve really hurt me,” I said in a rigid voice that I hoped was fairly controlled since my emotions were all over the damn place. “I don’t know exactly what you did, but the fact that you and Sandra were up to something behind my back is beyond me. Why?”

  “If you come with me, I can explain. Please. There’s a hotel not far from here. We can eat in the restaurant and talk. It will just take a little while, and once you know the whole story, if you’re still angry, I’ll understand.”

  I didn’t know what to do. I owed her the chance to explain, but my heart was beating a little wildly right now. So hard, in fact, I was suddenly afraid I was having a heart attack. My reasonable brain warned me this might be a panic attack, but I’d never had one before, so I wasn’t sure, and I turned, reaching for Ace blindly.

  “Ace…” My voice shook a little but he was right there, closing his arms around me as a wave of nausea so strong my knees started to buckle washed over me.

  “Shannon!” I heard Aubrey’s squeak of fear and my mother’s startled cry.

  I wasn’t sure what was happening. All I knew was that Ace’s arms were around me and he was whispering softly, telling me everything was going to be okay, reminding me to breathe… Why wasn’t I breathing? I felt hot and then sweaty and then everything got a little fuzzy.