Reckless With You

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  I opened the door and frowned. The woman standing there had long, auburn hair tied at the nape of her neck, dark eyes with a bit of sadness to them, strong cheekbones, and a pointed chin. She was tall, had on heeled boots, a tight jacket, and her hands were closed around the strap of her purse so tightly that I could see her knuckles turning white.

  And I knew this woman.

  Just then, I remembered the two phone calls I’d missed, and the fact that I hadn’t called her back because I’d been distracted by Amelia. And myself.

  “Melinda?”

  She gave me a smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and I frowned again.

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t remember me, Tucker.”

  She had a sexy-as-sin voice, and a laugh that always made me laugh with her. She’d been fun, the two of us going out a few times, but we’d never had anything serious. Not that I’d ever been serious or had any plans to be, but we’d had a couple of fun nights.

  I didn’t even know why I still had her number in my phone since it had been a few years since I last spoke to her.

  “It’s cold as fuck out there, come in,” I said, wondering why she was here.

  She let out a shaky breath before walking past me, and unease settled in my gut.

  “What’s up, Melinda? Are you okay?”

  “You know, I had this whole speech prepared in my head about what I would say and what I needed to do, and now it’s all gone. I looked at you, and now I can’t see it anymore. I can’t think at all. I look at you and can only wonder how the hell I missed it. How in the hell I could have been so wrong.”

  I fisted my hands at my sides, trying to calm my nerves. I had no idea what she was saying, she was just rambling at this point.

  “What’s wrong, Melinda? I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

  “You wouldn’t. You wouldn’t at all. I don’t even really know. I wish you would have answered your phone. Maybe it would have been easier to say if I wasn’t facing you. ‘Cause every time I look at you, I see what I should have seen before. But I can see it now.”

  Tears filled her eyes, and I quickly moved toward her, grabbing the box of tissues from the table as I did. I handed one to her, and she gave me a watery smile before dabbing at her eyes.

  “Thank you. You were always so sweet. Even though you were just fun, and it was supposed to only be a couple of nights, you were always so sweet. You weren’t one of those assholes that wanted to get in my pants because I had big boobs.”

  I snorted then, setting the box on the coffee table. “I’d like to think I wasn’t an asshole. But it’s been a long time, Melinda. What, six years or so?”

  “Oh, almost seven at this point.” She sucked in a deep breath and then slowly let it out. I swallowed hard, a tingling sense of fear sliding down my spine.

  “I need you to listen to me and let me get out the facts.”

  “Do you need to sit down?” I asked, my voice equally shaky at this point.

  She shook her head vehemently. “No. I just need to get this out, and maybe I need to pace.”

  “Okay. Talk to me, Melinda.”

  “I have a son. His name is Evan. He’s the sweetest boy.”

  I nodded, still a little confused. “Okay. Do you need money or something?”

  “Or something. Just…just let me get this out.”

  “Okay.”

  “His name is Evan. He has acute lymphocytic leukemia.”

  Dread rolled in my belly. “Oh, fuck. I’m sorry, Melinda. I’m so damn sorry.”

  “Me, too. It’s been on and off for the past year or so. We went through all the treatments, at least the initial ones. But now, we need bone marrow.”

  “Yeah, that’s a common treatment. And acute lymphocytic leukemia has a ninety percent five-year survival rate for children, right?”

  “Yes. Ninety percent. It’s a great number. It’s those ten percent that’s so scary.”

  “Because kids aren’t numbers. They aren’t specs on a scan. I get that.” I had to get that. It was my job. I had to think analytically most days. And I knew I needed to now, as well.

  “That’s right, you’re a radiologist or something, right? You get that.”

  “I do.” And I hated it. I hated percentages. Hated numbers. Hated the fact that kids got cancer, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. “What can I do for you? I know a few good doctors around here. Maybe I can get you into one. Is that what you need?”

  “No, we’re with Dr. Bates at the Children’s Medical Hospital. We’re in good hands.”

  “I know him. He’s a great physician, and a great guy.”

  “The best. The thing is, Evan needs bone marrow. And he needs yours.”

  I blinked, my blood thundering in my ears as I tried to understand what the fuck she was saying. “Excuse me?”

  “I’m really not good at this.”

  “Why would he need mine, Melinda? How old is Evan?”

  “He’s six,” she said, her voice breaking. She turned her phone, and I looked at a picture of a little boy with auburn hair, strong cheekbones, and my fucking eyes. My knees went weak, and I sat down on the coffee table, the glass on top rattling as I tried to catch my breath.

  “What the fuck, Melinda? Are you kidding me?”

  “I thought he was my boyfriend’s. I was seeing someone else at the time.”

  “I don’t get it. You’re going to need to talk slower.” My heart raced, and my palms went sweaty. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. This couldn’t be happening. I was always so careful, not only with my feelings and my emotions, but also with everything else. I never wanted a child. Had never liked the idea of someone having to grow up without me because of an accident or some shit like I had with my parents. That had always been my number-one rule.

  But it seemed fate was a tricky bitch and had gotten around that.

  “How long have you known?”

  I wasn’t sure I believed her, wasn’t sure I believed anything. Couldn’t even get my words wrangled into complete sentences at this point. My thoughts weren’t any better.

  I couldn’t do this. What the fuck?

  My mind shut down. I was basically running on autopilot at this point. At least, I thought I was. Was I even speaking? Was I thinking?

  Why did I feel like I needed to throw up?

  “I lied to you. We were on a break, like Ross and Rachel, but it really wasn’t. I just wanted some fun because my boyfriend and I were fighting. And you were fun.”

  Fun. That’s what I was. Fun. Now, it looked like much more than that. But that’s what I wanted, right? That’s exactly what I wanted.

  “I’m so sorry. But after you and I did our thing, Robbie and I got back together. We got married, and we’re okay. We worked through it. And we never really thought it was cheating because he was with someone else in those couple of months, as well. But that time gave me Evan. Although because of the timing, we thought he was Robbie’s. We didn’t have to second-guess it. You and I were always so careful, and Robbie and I weren’t. I thought he was Robbie’s until we got the tests back confirming that Evan wasn’t his. We haven’t been able to really think about what to do about it.”

  “Does Evan know?” I asked, my voice wooden.

  “He does now.” Her teeth worried her lower lip, her hands so tight on that purse I was afraid she might snap the leather in two. “He knows because we’re still waiting on bone marrow. And the best match is someone in his familial line. And, sadly, it’s not me. I can’t even save my own son. I need you to help me, Tucker. I need you to help me save my child. I don’t know what happens next. I don’t know what you want to do. If you want to be a part of this or not. But you needed to know. And I need your help. I need to save my son. And I will do anything to ensure that. He is everything to me. Everything to me and Robbie. I didn’t mean to dump all this on your shoulders and everything. But I couldn’t get ahold of you, and then I remembered where you lived. I wish you would have a
nswered your phone. Because we’re running out of time. I need you to help me save my son. My baby boy. Please, help me.” She cracked then, her tears falling so fast and hard that I thought she might break. I stood up and then held her close, not knowing what else to do.

  She cried, and I held her, my hand rubbing up and down her back.

  “Help me, Tucker. Please. Help me.”

  I didn’t know what to say. What was there to say? Before I could do anything, the front door opened. Apparently, I hadn’t closed it all the way. Amelia walked in. She met my gaze, looked down at the woman in my arms, and we all froze.

  I didn’t know what I was thinking, let alone what she might.

  Chapter 16

  Amelia

  Tucker stood in his living room, holding another woman as she cried, and yet there wasn’t a single emotion on his face. I couldn’t read anything in his expression honestly. He stood there with the woman in his arms, and there was…nothing.

  Nothing coming from him.

  And yet, something twisted inside of me.

  Who was this woman? Why did this hurt so much?

  This wasn’t Tobey. Wasn’t Beth. Even though there was a weird similarity that wasn’t actually similar at all.

  I’d trusted Tobey, and he had hidden something from me. I knew that now. I knew I didn’t love him, but I had thought that he was what I needed.

  As I stared at Tucker with this woman in his arms, I couldn’t help but remember that he had been with many women before me. And that we were only in a fake relationship.

  And then I felt something else. I wanted to reach out to the woman in tears. I wanted to make sure she was okay.

  All of those thoughts ran through my head at the same time, turning and tumbling together, disappearing into a vast expanse of nothingness.

  I couldn’t help but wonder why Tucker wasn’t saying anything, why he didn’t seem to be feeling anything. And why his eyes looked so blank.

  The woman cleared her throat and backed away.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company.”

  I did my best to smile and not raise my brows or react in any kind of jealous way. I shouldn’t be jealous. Tucker wasn’t mine. “I guess I could say the same. I’m sorry.”

  “No, I am. I’m Melinda. I just needed to talk to Tucker for a bit.” She reached out her hand. I looked at it for a moment before taking it and giving it a shake.

  “Amelia.”

  “Nice to meet you.” She smiled, but there was such deep sadness in her eyes that I wanted to reach out and hug her, as well.

  What had been going on here?

  She looked at Tucker. “You have my number. Please, call me. Soon.”

  She gave me a watery smile and then walked out, leaving Tucker and me alone.

  Tucker looked at me for a minute, and neither of us said anything.

  It wasn’t like he was cheating. You couldn’t cheat on something we didn’t have.

  Right?

  “It’s not what you think,” he said, and I blinked.

  That wasn’t at all what I’d expected him to say.

  “It’s okay,” I said quickly. “We made no promises.”

  That hadn’t been the right thing to say, and I knew it. Not with the way his eyes filled with anger. Then his expression went back to that one of darkness that didn’t really say anything at all.

  “You’re right,” he said, letting out an angry laugh.

  “Tucker.”

  “No, you’re right. We didn’t make any promises. Other than the fact that I said I didn’t cheat. Ever. But I’m not Tobey. I’m not going to keep secrets from you. So, don’t be like that, okay?”

  There was such anger in his tone, a biting bark, that I took a step back, not even realizing that I had done it until his eyes narrowed.

  I knew he didn’t cheat. He was a good man.

  But the whole thing threw me off balance. And, yes, maybe I had put some of my own feelings about Tobey in the middle of it all, but that didn’t mean I was in the wrong here. There was no wrong here. Right?

  “What’s wrong, Tucker? Who is Melinda, and why was she here?”

  “She’s here because her son is sick.”

  I frowned, shaking my head. “Sick?”

  His words didn’t really make sense to me, and I felt like I was three steps behind, trying to catch up even though there wasn’t really anything to catch up to.

  “Sick as in cancer. Leukemia. The kid needs a bone marrow transplant.”

  “And you can help with that? Do you know someone at the hospital?”

  He gave a hollow laugh. “I love that your mind went to the same place as mine. No, they have a doctor. What they need is bone marrow. From the kid’s biological dad.”

  He looked at me then, his face completely pale and emotionless. I tried to comprehend his words.

  “You’re saying…you’re saying you had a baby with her?” I asked, my voice shaky. “And you had no idea?”

  “Of course, I didn’t know. If I had known, I’d have done something about it a long time ago. You know that.”

  “Of course, I do. Tucker, you told me what you went through. About the different foster homes.”

  “Yeah, Devin became my family. You all did. I would never put a kid through what I went through. Not knowing his past or feeling like he was abandoned or some shit. And now he’s sick. And, apparently, I’m supposed to do something.”

  “Tucker,” I whispered, and then I moved forward.

  He didn’t open his arms, didn’t reach out to me, so I didn’t do anything either. I just stood in front of him, feeling as helpless as he looked.

  Tucker. A dad.

  Dear God.

  There was a kid out there that looked like him, that needed him, and that woman that had been in his arms and crying, had been crying for her son. Grieving so much.

  And I had no idea what to say. What was there to say about this?

  “So she came to you today?”

  “Yeah. She called a couple of times before, but I was distracted at the time. I kept telling myself I’d call back, but then I forgot.”

  The way he said it, I knew exactly what he’d been distracted by. Me.

  He hadn’t answered her calls, hadn’t seen what she wanted because he’d been dealing with my issues.

  And that little kid had been sick the entire time, neither of us paying attention to anyone but ourselves.

  Bile filled my throat, but I swallowed it, knowing I couldn’t carry the world on my shoulders even though I really wanted to make things better. But I didn’t know how.

  “Did she know before this?”

  “No. She thought the kid was her boyfriend’s. Apparently, she was dating both of us. Who knew? Apparently, I didn’t cheat, but she did. But that’s not the important thing. She and her boyfriend, well, her husband now, raised that little boy. And he’s sick. Apparently, they need to see if I’m a match. If all this stuff is actually real. For all I know, I’m not the dad, and she was with someone else or some shit.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “I don’t fucking know.”

  I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around his waist, and he stood still for a moment before hugging me back.

  I let out a relieved breath and rubbed his back, wanting to make things okay but not knowing how to do so.

  I didn’t think there was a way to be okay after this.

  “I don’t know if he’s really my kid. Even though he looks like me. And I don’t know what that means. I don’t know if we’re going to be a match or if I can help him. Or what’s going to happen after all of this. I just don’t fucking know. I was always so careful, Amelia.”

  “I know. You are. You’re a good man, Tucker. You’ll figure this out.”

  “You say that, but I feel like I’m never going to figure this fucking shit out. Jesus Christ, there’s a kid out there that could be mine. And I didn’t know.”

  “I’
m sorry, Tucker. You’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out.” I tried to calm my thoughts, but they were going in so many different directions, I said the only thing I could. “Let’s talk to Devin. He’s your best friend. He’ll know what to do. He always knows what to do.”

  I pulled back so I could look at him, and he gave me a wooden smile. “Yeah, he always seems to know everything. He knew about us.”

  I froze.

  “What?”

  “He knew it was a lie the whole time. They all did. Apparently, they wanted to see what we would do. I knew I shouldn’t have lied to him. I guess this is my karma. Lies just build up on each other and then you end up in a world where you have no idea what the fuck’s going on.”

  “So he knew.”

  They all did. But I couldn’t deal with that right then. I would deal with it later, apologize, and do what I needed to do. But Tucker needed me now. Right?

  I might not know what we were to each other, but I could try and figure out what we needed to be together in this moment. He couldn’t do this alone. We were his family, right? I would be there for him. I would try to help him.

  “Okay, let me help. We’ll figure out what it means that they all knew or whatever. But right now, let’s go talk to Devin.”

  “I will.” He looked at me then, his voice devoid of emotion, so calm that it chilled. “Guess it means this is over, right?” he asked, his words not his own.

  Something twisted inside my heart, and I frowned at him. “What do you mean?”

  “Everyone knows. There’s no need to continue the fake relationship thing. You have better things to do. Work and all that. And I, apparently, have things I need to work through. So, it’s over. You get your space, and I’ll figure out what I need to do.”

  Ice slid through me as my fingers tingled. My heart beat quickly. “Oh. Yeah.”

  What we had was fake. Just fun shit that had become something more. Because that’s what we both needed. But there were rules. Nothing real.

  If it had been real, I would have been okay staying here to try and make things better for him. I would have been able to help.