A Daughter for Christmas

by Stephanie Dees

But sometimes there was something to worry about, a small voice whispered in the back of his mind.

  He turned off the ATV again, and before he could change his mind, he strode up the steps to the still-open front door. He knocked and waited. There was no sound from inside except the click of his dog’s toenails running back and forth on the wood floor.

  Tanner closed his eyes. Sighed. What was he even doing?

  Pushing the door in slightly, he called softly, “Eve? Alice? It’s Tanner. I just came by to—” What? What could he say that sounded even slightly plausible? “—check on Sadie,” he finished, giving himself a mental slap upside the head. Surely he could do better than that for an excuse.

  But there was still no sound from inside. His dog ran back to him, gave a woof and sat, staring at him from just inside the door. He’d seen that look before when he’d been late feeding her. She had a stare that could get a grown man to his feet in minutes. But why wouldn’t Eve have fed Sadie? And where had Alice gone?

  “Eve?” He pushed the door farther open. “Alice?”

  The little girl’s head appeared in the hall. Her blond curls were a fuzzy halo around her head. She didn’t smile at him, just studied him with a serious expression. But then she crooked a finger at him.

  He pointed to himself. “Me? You want me to come back there?”

  She gave him a vigorous nod, her ringlets bouncing.

  He closed the door behind him and took his hat off, holding it in his hands. Alice came toward him when he hesitated, waving him forward. With no sign of Eve, he was actually starting to think his worry hadn’t been unfounded. When he got to the bedroom door, he found her, wrapped in a quilt and sound asleep. The TV on the dresser was streaming a kids’ show, which she’d probably put on in an attempt to keep Alice occupied.

  As he stood there, he saw Eve shudder and realized her skin was so pale it was almost translucent, except for two bright spots of color high on her cheeks. He crouched to Alice’s level, asking quietly, “Alice, is Mama sick?”

  Alice nodded.

  “Okay, sweet pea, don’t worry. We’ll take care of her.”

  As she heard his voice, Eve roused and attempted to sit up. She tried to speak, swallowed hard and winced. “I’m just tired. I’m not sick.”

  “Obviously. Have you taken anything?” Despite his words to Alice, he couldn’t help the tug of fear that something was terribly wrong. She looked awful, eyes red rimmed, lips dry.

  “Couldn’t find the ibuprofen.” Her head dropped back against the pillow.

  “I’m going back to the house to get you some. Thermometer?”

  “Cabinet by the fridge.” She didn’t even open her eyes.

  “Be right back. Alice, you stay put by Mama, okay?”

  Alice nodded and climbed up to sit beside Eve, who flinched as the bed bounced. He stopped at the thermostat to turn the heat up before heading to the kitchen, that undercurrent of worry making his heart bump in his chest, goading his feet to move faster.

  * * *

  Eve felt someone grip her shoulder and shake her gently. She swatted the hand away. She was freezing and had finally stopped shivering.

  “Eve. I have some medicine for you.”

  The voice was deep, a man’s voice. Tanner? She opened her eyes, swallowed with a grimace and struggled into a more upright position. “Sorry,” she croaked, “I kind of thought I imagined you.”

  He held out three ibuprofen. She unwound one flannel-clad arm from the quilt, and he dropped them into her hand. He held a glass of juice in the other hand and, after she popped the tablets into her mouth, he handed it to her, too.

  “I know you have things you should be doing.” Her voice was a hoarse whisper, but she managed to force the words out. “I’m really fine.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” He pulled the temporal thermometer from his back pocket and ran it across her forehead. “One-oh-two. You’re an overachiever. The doctor will be impressed.”

  Her mind drifted, so sleepy. His voice faded in and out, as if she was hearing him from a distance, but at those last words, her eyes popped open. “No, Tanner. Honestly. I don’t need a doctor. It’s probably just a cold.”

  “Maybe, but we’re still going to the doctor.”

  A lot of things ran through her mind, but there was only one that really mattered. She couldn’t put Alice at risk. She needed to know if she was contagious. But... “I don’t have anyone to keep Alice while I go.”

  “She can go with us, but we’ll have to take your car, because I don’t have a car seat that will fit her.”

  “Go with us?”

  He chuckled and took her elbow, steadying her as she got out of the bed. “Of course. You don’t think I’m going to let you drive, do you?”

  She closed her eyes, swayed. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I was going to spend the morning with the pigs in the pasture. You two are way more fun than pigs.” He winked at Alice. “And smell better, too.”

  Alice giggled, but Eve shook her head.

  “You’re hilarious.” She had on joggers already, so she grabbed a fuzzy sweater from the chair by the bed and clumsily pulled it on over her flannel pajama top. She was sure she looked a fright, but honestly, she just couldn’t rustle up the energy to care.

  Tanner left and came back into the room with a pair of pink leggings, a tulle princess skirt and a long sweatshirt. “Will this be okay for Alice?”

  “Sure.” Tears stung her eyes. She hated being helpless and needy. While Tanner waited outside, Eve quickly dressed Alice with shaking fingers. “Okay, baby, run on out to the living room and wait for me.”

  She stuck her feet in the ratty shearling knockoff boots that she wore as bedroom slippers and shuffled into the bathroom. She picked up her brush and looked in the mirror, catching an eyeful of puffy bags, too-bright eyes and bloodless lips. Oh, this is bad.

  “Found the keys,” Tanner called from the front room.

  Eve sagged against the counter. What she really wanted to do was crawl back in bed and never come out.

  However, on Eve’s list of priorities, Alice was it. If taking care of Alice meant Eve had to act like a grown-up and haul herself to the doctor, that’s what she would do. Even if it meant her handsome hunk of a neighbor saw her at her absolute worst.

  Eve groaned and shuffled down the hall to the door. Sometimes being a grown-up stunk.

  Tanner was waiting for her at the door. “Alice is in her seat.”

  “I’m ready.”

  “It’s cold outside. You might need this.” He picked up her knit cap from the hook beside the door and tugged it down over her hair. He didn’t smile, just studied her with those serious eyes, and to her horror, she started to tear up. She was the one who took care of everyone, not the other way around.

  “Thanks.” Her voice wavered. The sore throat, obviously. She sniffed, rubbed her eyes and gathered what was left of her dignity. “Let’s go.”

  * * *

  An hour and a half later, after a quick stop at the pharmacy for an antibiotic and a run into the diner for takeout chicken noodle soup, Tanner pulled into Eve’s parking spot in front of the cottage. She’d rallied a little bit at the doctor’s office but was fading again now, looking like it might be a heroic feat if she made it all the way to the bedroom before she had to lie down.

  She slid out of the car, and Alice climbed through the front behind her, jumping to the ground, her princess skirt floating around her. Tanner followed with Eve’s meds and their lunch. She stopped at the door of the cottage. “You’ve been amazing. Thank you so much for making me the doctor’s appointment. And for making me go.”

  “You should be feeling a lot better by tomorrow. I’m sorry you’re sick. Strep throat is terrible.”

  “Yeah, don’t forget the double ear infection.” Her smile was wan but there.

 
; Alice looked up at Tanner, tapping him on the hand. She whispered, “Baby pigs.”

  “What?” Eve looked from Tanner to Alice and back again.

  “I was showing Alice a picture of the new litter of pigs that were born this week. I need to check on them.” He gave her a sheepish look. “I sort of told her she could do chores with me.”

  “You did?”

  “Babies.” Alice nodded vigorously, giving her mother a what-aren’t-you-getting-about-this look with wide blue eyes.

  “You’re cool with this?” Eve looked back at Tanner. “For real?”

  “For real. Besides, you need to rest. We can handle it, right, Alice?”

  She turned pudgy little hands up with a shrug as she looked at her mom. “Baby pigs.”

  “I can see I’m outnumbered here. I’m going to take a nap, and you’re the best, Tanner Cole.”

  “I have two brothers who would argue that. I’ve got her coat and hat.” He hesitated. “Is there anything else I need to know? Allergies? Medicine?”

  When he’d looked in the medicine cabinet for the thermometer, he’d found it. He’d also found a sharps container, alcohol pad and syringes. He’d stared at the collection for a long few seconds. His first thought had been that Eve could be an addict, which was a natural conclusion, he guessed, considering his brother was in ongoing recovery.

  But when he’d opened the refrigerator to find the juice, he’d seen the medication, and it had Alice’s name on it. Neupogen. A quick search on his phone had told him that the medication was used for people who had cancer to help their white blood cells recover after chemo. The same drug helped children with a certain autoimmune disease fight off illnesses that could become serious.

  Eve shook her head, but her eyes stayed on her daughter. “If she gets cranky, feed her. If she gets worried or scared or isn’t feeling well, bring her home.”

  “That’s it?”

  Her eyes locked with his, a hint of suspicion in them. “That’s it. I’ll be right here if you need me, Alice.”

  Alice nodded and skipped circles around Tanner. He wanted to press. Ask questions. Demand answers. But was it really his business? He knew the answer to that. It wasn’t. And if he pushed, he might end up pushing her right out of his life.

  Eve’s face was pale, the circles under her eyes pronounced. She looked like she might pass out at any second. She reached for the door frame to steady herself.

  “Do you want me to warm up some soup for you before we go?”

  “No, thanks.” She shook her head, but still, she hesitated.

  “I’ll bring her back in one piece, Eve. I promise.” Because he understood her anxiety, he gently turned her around. “Promise. Go to sleep before you fall over.”

  Alice was waiting for him in the ATV. He slid in beside her. “You ready to be my farm assistant?”

  She nodded, eyes shining with excitement. He had no clue why she’d decided to trust him, but he was honored that she had. He whistled for Sadie, who bounded up and launched herself into the ATV next to Alice. He turned the key and started the engine. “Before you can be my official assistant, I need to introduce you to all the animals that live here at Triple Creek Ranch. Sound okay?”

  She nodded again as he turned the ATV around and started down the lane. Mentally, he rearranged his schedule of actual farm chores. He’d be working longer hours over the next few days than he’d planned, but it was worth it. And besides, what choice did he have?

  “First up, goats.” He eyed her glittery pink skirt and imagined Mason or Dixon munching on the fluffy tulle, followed by wailing and tears from a certain four-year-old princess. “Er, first up, horses.”

  Tanner parked the ATV across from the farmhouse and waited for Alice to hop out. “This is the old barn. We’re building a brand-new one, and after the big Christmas party we’re having, these guys will be moving into their new house, just like you moved with your mom.”

  Alice turned in a slow circle, taking it in. The barn was old, the boards weathered, but there was something magical here. An essence of years gone by. Alice seemed to sense it, too, if the wonder in her eyes was any indication.

  The back door opened, and Devin stepped inside, clapping dust off his gloves. “Where’ve you been? I thought you were going to come back and let the horses out to pasture.” His brother’s voice trailed off as he realized Tanner had company. “Well, hello.”

  “You might remember Eve’s daughter, Alice? Eve has strep throat, so Alice is my assistant today.”

  Devin scowled. “Hey, no fair. I don’t have a farm assistant.”

  Alice had backed up a couple of wary steps toward Tanner, but she smiled at Devin’s silliness.

  “In fact,” Devin said, “why don’t you and Tanner help me lead the horses out to the round pen and put their coats on them?”

  She squinted up at Tanner.

  “Did you know horses wear coats?” Tanner smiled and pointed to a big gray gelding. “This horse’s name is Reggie. He won lots of awards for Devin in the rodeo. You want to say hi? I can pick you up.”

  He waited for her to refuse, but she held her arms up. He lifted her to his hip and moved closer to Reggie, who stuck his head over the stall door so she could see him.

  Devin disappeared into the tack room and came back with a handful of carrots. “Alice might want to share a few of these with Reg.”

  “Thanks.” Tanner ran a hand down Reggie’s smooth neck.

  “Pretty,” Alice breathed.

  Reggie stuck his nose into Alice’s hip, investigating. Alice leaned back, away from the huge head.

  “It’s okay. He won’t hurt you. He’s sniffing around to see if you have any treats for him.”

  Devin handed a carrot to Tanner, who held it out toward Reggie on a flat hand. Reggie delicately nipped it from Tanner’s palm. Alice caught her breath and patted Tanner’s back with her small hand, as if to say, “Good job.”

  Tanner smiled. She was such a little sweetheart. He held a carrot out for her to take a turn, but she put her hands behind her back, shaking her head.

  “You sure? What if you put your hand over the top of mine?” He held his hand out again. Tentatively, she placed hers in it, facing up. After Devin handed them a carrot, Tanner moved it closer to Reggie, who paused to sniff the new hand before his big fuzzy lips nibbled the carrot out of her palm.

  Alice’s laugh spilled out in delight. Tanner and Devin shared a look. Horses and kids.

  “One more?”

  She nodded and, without him having to remind her, put her hand in his, so trusting. Emotion he couldn’t name knotted in his chest. His habit was to try hard to be steady, to keep his equilibrium, but Alice and her mom had a way of knocking him off balance. “Okay, Reggie, this is the last one, or you’ll have to go on a diet.”

  Alice giggled, and together they held the carrot out for the big horse. Once again, he gently took it from them and crunched it between his very large teeth.

  Tanner looked down at Alice. “Okay, peanut, we need to get moving. We have a lot of farm chores to do today and Reggie needs to go outside with the other horses. First, though, I think Reggie should give Devin a kiss to thank him for the carrots. What do you think?”

  The little girl nodded.

  Devin gave a low chuckle and clicked his tongue at Reggie to get his attention. “Come on, Reggie. Say thanks for the carrots. Give me a kiss.”

  It was a trick they’d been doing for years. When Devin said kiss, Reggie leaned forward, lifted his nose and knocked Devin’s hat off.

  The antics provoked choked laughter from Alice.

  “Reggie, that is not a kiss,” Devin said in mock disapproval as he reseated his hat. “Be a gentleman and give me a real kiss.”

  Alice laughed out loud as Reggie knocked Devin’s hat off again.

  “I give up, Alice.
He only wants my hat.” Hearing the word hat, Reggie lengthened his neck and nuzzled Devin’s cheek. Devin acted astonished, which, of course, broke Alice up even more.

  One of the barn cats wove its way through Tanner’s legs and Alice slid down so she could pet it. To Devin, Tanner said, “Thanks, bro. I think she fell in love.”

  “Aw, shucks, I’m already taken.”

  Tanner rolled his eyes. “I meant with the horse, you dork.”

  Devin laughed. “Where are y’all headed next?”

  “I need to go check on Bessie’s new piglets and make sure they’re all holding their own. The temperature dipped pretty low last night, and it’s not supposed to warm up too much today.”

  “Let me know if I can help. I’ve got a light day.” Devin paused. “She gonna wear that froufrou skirt out there with the pigs?”

  Tanner just shrugged. “I guess so. Why not?”

  Devin was still laughing as he led Reggie out the door and into the round pen. Tanner envied his brother’s ability to put the past behind him, to look ahead. It hadn’t always been that way. Devin had run from the past for a long time, burying his grief in a bottle of pills. But now? His brother had found peace, or if not peace, then joy.

  Mama Kitty’s tail was twitching, a sure sign that she was getting annoyed with Alice’s adoring attempts to love her. Tanner pushed his melancholy thoughts aside and walked to the door. “Hey, farm girl, it’s time to get a move on. We’ve gotta go see if the chickens laid any eggs.”

  Alice jumped to her feet and ran to meet him, a wide smile on her sweet face, her arms stretched toward him. For a moment, he faltered, but he caught her up in his arms and walked out the door.

  Being with Alice brought an ache to Tanner’s chest, like a long-unused muscle waking up. It wasn’t enough anymore to have the memory of his wife and child. He wanted more.

  And that? Only made him feel guilty.

  Chapter Six

  Eve woke with a start. Her bedroom was dark, the house silent. Fear speared through her as she realized she’d let Alice go with Tanner at lunchtime and hadn’t seen or heard from either of them all day. She rolled out of bed, swayed, then steadied herself.