She's the One Who Cares Too Much

by S. R. Cronin

  “You don’t get it,” she said. “Luskies aren’t monsters; they can be nice people, too. You should ask the Velka at one of their market stalls. I’ve heard they know all about luskies, and can tell if you are one.”

  “You think I should talk to the Velka?” Frankly, I found these women of the forest, the keepers of most of the magic in our realm, scary in their own right. I’d only spoken a few words with them and I didn’t wish to ask a Velka if I was some kind of freak.

  “No thanks. I’ve got enough problems right now.”

  And I did. I had all the problems I knew of, and a few more I hadn’t discovered yet.

  Chapter 2. The Worries Begin

  Not long after, during one of the worst storms of the winter, Davor proposed marriage.

  The two of us drank red wine in his tent, huddled together under furs as the winds howled outside on a particularly brutal winter night. My lunch had been sparse, so I tore into the ham he’d brought for our dinner, paying more attention to the salty smokiness against my tongue than I paid to his words.

  “Once I made up my mind, I was so anxious to get over here and do this,” he laughed. “I should have waited for a calmer evening.”

  “Anxious to do what?” Had I missed something?

  “Sweetheart. If you could leave the food alone for a bit, I’m trying to tell you I’d like to marry you.”

  “Marry me? You want me to be your wife?” I dropped the meat onto the furs beneath me.

  He laughed again. “Yes, that’s usually what marriage means. Look, I’ll be honest with you. I’ve been getting pressure from the Royals for a while to settle down. I’ve hopes of becoming a Mozdol commander and they’ve gone so far as to imply my career advancement requires me to find a wife. Normally that kind of pressure would make me livid, but lucky for me, I’ve become quite taken with you. You may be a simple farm girl but you're one of the kindest women I’ve ever met. I think a man could do far worse, you know?”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  And I didn’t. This was the desired outcome, wasn’t it? Yet perhaps his proposal had included a little too much honesty.

  “Say yes,” he suggested.

  “I’m … honored. But this all began so strangely. My family doesn’t know about you and I’ve never met yours. There’s so much we haven’t talked about…”

  In fact, he and I had talked about very little. Talking wasn’t a big part of our relationship.

  He held up a hand to stop me, a trace of irritation creeping into his voice.

  “I know these things. We’ll do this slowly, Coral, as slowly as you need. You agree to marry me now, and we’ll invent a more proper meeting and courtship we can tell everyone about. We’ll discuss anything you want. But by spring, let's be planning our nuptials. Okay?”

  “Yes. Of course, yes.” What else could I say? I had my reservations and could have asked for time to think, but he looked so earnest and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

  Yet, plenty worried me.

  He was from Lev, where vineyards thrived in picturesque hills and where the rich of Ilari spent their leisure time. He’d already invited me to meet his family but the trip made me nervous. He’d called me a simple farm girl. What would his family think of me?

  And what would my unpretentious family think of him? Davor was a military man, nothing like my gentle, intellectual dad. Would the two of them have anything to say to each other?

  And what of my mother? Over the years, she’d made it clear we weren’t simply to marry. Our father was a respected soil expert in the farming nichna of Vinx, and she’d gone to great pains to ensure we learned everything from grooming to fine arts, polishing us enough to wed the best Ilari had to offer.

  “But what about love?” I’d asked her repeatedly.

  “It’s just as easy to fall in love with a prince,” she’d answered each time. I’d gotten the point by the time I was eight.

  But Davor hadn’t been born to a royal family. Rather, he’d achieved his status when a decree made him a Mozdol after his brave actions in a skirmish with a band of thieves. Being a Mozdol was supposed to be the legal equivalent of being a prince. Would it count with my mother?

  On the plus side, I did believe in Davor’s affection for me. He didn’t think I was too nice and he didn’t mind the bit of plumpness plaguing me. He told me my softness attracted him. And while I found my orange hair too bright, he adored it, running his figures through it every time he saw me.

  Learning he was eight years my senior caused me concern because a man seldom waited so long to wed. I knew my parents would find this worrisome, too. He’d said his commitment to the Svadlu made it difficult to find a mate. I pushed for a better explanation and he told me he was still single because he’d been waiting for me. I knew that wasn’t true, but it was a charming thing to say.

  The next time we met, he urged me to make our courtship public.

  “We’ll largely stick to the truth. Say we met when I came to your school and we’ve written a few times since. Very proper. Tell people I’ve come to Vinx to court you and invited you to come to Lev so we can get to know each other better. Perhaps to celebrate Noruz? Women find the start of spring to be so romantic.”

  “No, not for Noruz,” I shook my head. “My older sister hopes the man she’s been seeing will propose to her while they celebrate the start of spring. I’d like to let her have her moment. Once she announces her engagement, we’ll proceed. Please. It’s just a few more anks.”

  He agreed, but I could tell he wasn’t happy about it.

  “Who is this person she’s marrying, anyway?” he asked.

  I froze. I’d kept quiet about the identity of Ryalgar’s suitor for a lot of reasons. It seemed a private family matter and I didn’t want to subject my sister to embarrassment if the relationship failed. Then, once Davor proposed, I feared he’d be insulted to learn he wouldn’t be the highest-ranking son-in-law in the family. Now, I simply didn’t want to have this discussion.

  “He’s just some man she likes.”

  “Well, that’s good. I hope the two of them get on with it so we can do the same.”

  A few days later, life at the farm changed. Ryalgar retreated into her room in a flurry of tears and could be heard crying in there for days. She barely came out, and when she did, she wouldn’t talk to me. I guessed she was embarrassed. I couldn’t imagine what had gone wrong. Perhaps his family objected to her. But why?

  Mom told the rest of us Ryalgar was ill, but we all knew better.

  Good thing I hadn’t brought up Davor. Perhaps her prince would reconsider. I wanted Ryalgar to have every chance to get her life together before I launched my happiness into the middle of her misery. So the next time I saw Davor, I begged him to wait a little longer.

  “I’ll tell my parents about you in an ank or two, I promise. In time for you to invite me to celebrate Keva.”

  “That’s four anks away yet. I’m starting to think you’re afraid to tell your parents about me.”

  “I am not.”

  “Then promise me this is the last delay, okay?” he said. “I’m not going to be able to keep these kinds of visits up much longer.”

  I felt a tightness in my chest. Was he thinking of ending it because I’d waited too long? He must have seen the look in my eyes.

  “Look, honey cakes. I’d be willing to give you all the time you need to find your nerve, but things are changing for the Svadlu. A band of thieves far worse than anything we’ve ever encountered has been swooping into farming areas like ours, taking everything they want. Traders tell us they only attack when it's cold, and they‘ve been coming further west every year, seeking new areas to raid. They’ll be here soon, maybe this year before the heat comes, or perhaps next winter.”

  “That’s horrible.”

  “It’s worse than you know. We’ve started to train for it and soon I’ll have less freedom to take jaunts out to Vinx to spend the night with you. You need to tell your pa
rents you’ve met a man and want to get married. You understand?”

  I understood. No matter what happened in Ryalgar’s life, I’d do it before Keva.

  Then, Ryalgar did something I couldn’t have predicted.

  She announced she was joining the Velka, to become one of the women of the forest who lived without men. I couldn’t imagine making such a choice. What was she thinking?

  Clearly, she’d failed to snare her prince, and now she believed she’d never want another man. But I knew her heart would heal in time. All hearts did. I tried to tell her this, but she remained firm.

  She only asked one thing of me.

  “I’m going to enter the forest on the day of Keva. Please, Coral, be there to watch me go in.”

  At Keva? Bat scump. Everyone knew a new Velka’s first lone journey into the woods was an important event, a ritual done on one of the eight holidays, such as Keva. Eerie as I thought joining the Velka sounded, how could I tell my sister no?

  “Of course I’ll be there.”

  Davor would understand. He’d have to. We’d start our courtship in earnest as soon as Ryalgar was gone, and then I could meet his family in Lev on Tirga.

  On a beautiful sky-blue morning, halfway between the first day of spring and the summer solstice, all seven of us sisters set out on horseback dressed in our finest clothes. We wove flowers into our hair and wore them around our necks and on our wrists. What a pretty picture we must have made, seven young women covered in bright blossoms on a soft spring day. How innocent and harmless we must have looked.

  Of course, everyone knows how dangerous we all proved to be, but on that happy day, no onlooker would have guessed it.

  My father rode with us, but my mother felt too devastated by Ryalgar’s choice to come along. She said her good-byes to her oldest daughter privately, at our farm, before we left.

  As we approached the forest, Ryalgar seemed excited, not afraid or sad. She hopped off her horse and donned the overstuffed rucksack my father carried for her. She smiled, she waved, then she stepped in between the branches. Most of us had tears in our eyes as we watched.

  I waited a day or two more, thinking Ryalgar would change her mind and show up at the front door, laughing about what an ill-advised decision that had been. I think many of my sisters hoped she would. Perhaps not all, though. Having the oldest girl in the family unmarried had put a damper on the rest of us, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one anxious to get on with my life.

  Luckily for the remaining five, I had no intention of slowing them down. I planned to tell everyone about my lover, in a few more days.

  But time went on and I said nothing. Why not? Was Davor right? Did I fear my parents’ reaction? I didn’t think so. I thought it had to do with my job.

  Two years ago, when I’d finished with the advanced studies most young people in Ilari turned to before settling down, no wedding plans waited for me as they did for so many young women. Unlike Ryalgar, I hadn’t wanted to take endless additional classes until the right man came along. So, I’d taken a job at the school and discovered I enjoyed teaching. The youngest children became my favorites to work with and I’d settled into my classroom, in no hurry for my life to change.

  Getting married would change it.

  Davor didn’t handle the postponement well, and the first time I saw him after Ryalgar left for the forest, he didn’t even kiss me when he greeted me.

  “Why are we still sneaking around,” he said as he threw his bags on top of the fur blankets on the floor. “I want to spend the night with you in a proper room.”

  I searched for something to say to soften his mood.

  “They’ll be no more delays. I promise.”

  He stepped closer to me, but all he did was shake his head as he ran his fingers through my hair. Then he stared hard into my eyes, as though he saw them for the first time.

  “Your eyes are the same color as your hair,” he declared.

  “No, they’re not. Nobody has orange eyes.”

  I laughed, thinking he joked with me, but his face grew angry at my laughter. He got a looking glass out of his pack, grabbed the back of my head, and forced me to look into it.

  “See?”

  I studied my blurry reflection. No, my eyes weren’t orange.

  “Why won’t you listen to me?” he said. “I know your eye color better than you do.” After he insisted a few more times, I gave in.

  “Okay, I can maybe see a little orange.” But by then his mood had turned more foul.

  “So why haven’t you said anything to your family during this past ank?” I understood his frustration.

  “I wanted to make sure Ryalgar wasn’t coming back.”

  “That’s bull scump. You’re scared of your parents. Get over it. I’ve got a horde of invaders to worry about, and you need to gain a little courage.”

  “But winter is well past. Do these men from the east remain a threat?” I asked as I poured us both some wine.

  “Not till cold weather comes again, but it will arrive soon enough,” he said.

  After that we drank in silence, the beverage having become part of a ritual mating sequence we both knew well. After a few sips, he undressed me. He always liked having me naked for a while before he removed his garments. I touched him beneath his clothes. He touched me everywhere without mine. As we did what we usually did, I noticed he made less effort to ensure my enjoyment, but my body took its pleasure from him anyway and I was glad.

  After we were done, he fell asleep snoring. As I lay listening to him, I started to cry and I couldn’t seem to stop. Did I shed tears because of Davor’s irritableness with me, or because the idea of invaders coming to steal everything from my people terrified me? Whatever the cause, I cried until my fair skin turned blotchy red and my eyes swelled so much it didn’t matter what color they were.

  The next morning, I felt nauseous. I thought all the crying caused it, but as I rode back to the schoolhouse, I did some math. Before last night, Davor and I hadn’t been together for almost three anks. Twenty-seven days. My female time had been due an ank and a half ago and it still hadn’t occurred. This happened sometimes, but today I needed to get off my horse because I couldn’t keep down my breakfast.

  As I retched the porridge out over a sweet-smelling clump of red clover blooms, I knew what the problem was. Prucking goat scump. I’d taken all the precautions. How in Heli had this happened?

  Chapter 3. Adjusting Expectations

  When I arrived at school a short time later, I washed my face and smoothed my clothes. I let two of the children climb onto my lap while I caught my breath. Other teachers told me not to be so affectionate with them, but I knew my little kindnesses did more good than harm.

  Some of my students knew how to read when they arrived, but most didn’t and few could count past ten apples, much less figure out what happened when you added apples or took them away. So I taught them these things, but I also played with them and listened to their made-up stories. You can only force children that young to study for so long.

  Sitting on the bench I realized how much I wanted to keep my job. What a shame I had to choose between teaching and having a husband. Yet, everyone expected a new wife to move to her husband’s nichna and care for him. Particularly a pregnant wife.

  As Chessa, one of my favorites, snuggled in next to my hip, something else sunk in. If I wanted, I could have a daughter like her. Soon. The idea made me surprisingly happy.

  The girl took my fingers in her two little hands and played with them as she spoke.

  “Miss Coral,” she said. “I want to be just like you when I grow up.”

  I sat with Chessa warm against my side, her words warming me on the inside as well. I knew plenty of women who’d stopped a pregnancy this early. I could easily do the same; the Velka had their ways. But as I put my hands over my belly, cradling what had begun, I knew I wanted the baby I could grow inside me. I wanted to be a mother, and it would be easier if I married Davor.
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  So, that settled it. Tonight, I’d tell my parents everything.

  Dad listened as we sat in front of the fire talking, his slight frame hunched forward to catch my every word. He looked concerned but said nothing. Practical man that he was, I doubted my out-of-wedlock pregnancy disturbed him. Even with the Velka’s best herbs, this happened on occasion. I guessed he didn’t like having it all sprung on him at once. A suitor, a wedding, and a grandchild. A methodical man like him preferred life occur step by step. Yet when he finally spoke, he surprised me.

  “So you’ll be moving to Lev?” he asked.

  My leaving home bothered him?

  “I suppose so. We haven’t talked specifics, but that’s how it’s usually done. Davor, he doesn’t know I’m pregnant yet. We thought we had plenty of time to plan. Now, of course, we’ll want to move things along more quickly.”

  My dad nodded. “Of course you will.” He gave me the soft smile that often proceeded him telling me how much he loved me and my sisters. “I’m not sure I’m ready to lose another daughter so fast, but if you want this, Coral, then I’m happy for you.”

  My mother would lose a helper, yet she radiated joy at my news. Over the years I’d been her back-up, carrying the brunt of household chores and watching my youngest sisters while Ryalgar helped Dad. Of course, it had been years since the younger ones needed watching, but they all still came to me for comfort.

  “A Mozdol is definitely a prince,” she said. “You did it, Coral. You really did it. I can’t wait to meet him.” Then, with a bit of chiding. “You should have told me sooner. I would have kept it from Ryalgar, poor thing.”

  “Well, I was trying to make it easier for her.”